𓆩𝒜𝓃𝑔ℯ𝓁𓆪

He actually never seen my kindle I never have it with me when he's around. But im barely on my phone too. Im excited for that gun scene now I don't know if there are strong rules and terms on here but I won't get into too much details about that. Full on zoom in screen of Zade is intense I mean lol ok I need to cross my legs. I just hope as Zade is described in the book he won't be so ugly. Like I seen AI images of Zade and how people are picturing him lets just hope he not hairy as a werewolf.

Ok now Adeline I know the author said she won't be watering down any parts from the book. So whatever is said and pictured in the book is all in the movie. WHEWWWWWW I just know Adeline is gonna be cute and beautiful they way she is described. There is a decision being made who should be Made I know most girls like guys with facial hair but I don't lol. I honestly hope the person who plays Zade isn't like overly BIG built. You know what I mean? Someone who is tight fit not thin, just like a tall body built man like DMX back in the old days type look.

OMFG im not going to lie, y'all remember that scene in Evil Dead 2013 where Mia goes crazy int he bedroom screaming because of that rotten deadly smell coming from the basement cell? THIS IS HOW IM FEELING RIGHT NOW. I can't take it. Its killing me. It sucks living in a building because come on we all know those windows are never sealed shut. But it is such a nasty burning smell plus those big metal garbage bins and the creek smells like rotten bodies that never been found.

This morning Toronto was under yell air quality warning and waking up to everything orange reminded me of Amityvile just like that. Tbh people are posting videos and pics of what it looked like let me tell you its not no filter.

Remember when we were kids playing with dolls and alive baby dolls having those full on doll houses and BIG cribs. Baby alive where that doll actually eats, drinks, and shit? Than we decided one day we want a real baby? HA this is wild on having a real baby.

I remember I didnt know I was pregnant and I found out at 25.1 weeks just 2 days before Christmas and it was a scary shocking moment. YUP that's me taking 4 pregnancy tests coming out all positive. My mom knew right away and I didnt know myself I thought it was all food poisoning the way it felt being sick because again I was eating only fast food at my BD house. MF doesn't know how to cook.

Anyways time went on spent money on baby stuff that literally cost 5K HOLY HELL. And I won't lie but baby formula shouldn't be no $90. The doctors messed me up with a diet thing because I had what's normal is gestational diabetes and because I had it, the doctors told me go on a diet and I lost all that breast milk. I had no choice but to quit my streaming career, my YouTube videos, posting out all my content, grinding for teams. I put everything on hold for 3 years just for my son. I was just getting started with everything but literally you have 0 time for anything when that baby is born.

Once my son was born I was happy he changed not only me but apart of that needed some healing. A first born boy is always something that will have long lasting love. BOY MOMMAS WE STAY IN SURVIVOR MODE. Im not used to clinginess and im not used to having people stay with me 24/7. I got used to it later that my son will always stay close to my heart and beside me. I have to go hide just to go out for 10mins because he will start crying im gone.

Life as a mom we def don't get ANY BREAKS. WE IN MOM MODE 24/7. Sometimes I just need a full day treatment to the spa and relax on my feet. Yeah I won't lie we yell at our kids, we tap their hands say "no don't touch that" put their little bottoms in timeout. Im old school so its def not "your grounded" because come on we know grounded never works, gentle parenting never works, and NO im not saying "beat those kids" DEF NO just saying don't give In any negative attention they seek for.

Now I know my son has my attitude, my temper, and I won't lie I got 0 patience lol but most def I get annoyed easily so he def my little twin. Parenting you're little mini me is not for the weak. I just go to the bathroom and take a breather lol. BEST SOLUTION. Im not a pillow screamer so never catch me doing that. It is a lot harder of potty training that's for sure. Its taking long just for my son to get used to it. I mean he wipes his own ass, pulls down his pants just the fact of him going in the potty is a struggle.

I was only in HS and I took that parenting class im going to admit, I gave that baby to my mom the first night. It was a fake baby though lol. My mom went through it the 4th time. I didnt even hear that doll cry to be honest. Once that baby came everywhere with me and I had no choice from what I remembered showed my whole family I told my mom "I am not having any kids" I FELL ASLEEP IN ALL MY CLASSES OVER A DOLL THAT KEPT ME UP.

I know im a raising a certified yapper holy lol. But I can already tell he going to be a fighter protecting his momma all the time. Jealousy is mad real. My man loves my son I know he will be a great dad when the time is right. In the end of all the chaos and amazing sweet moments God blessed me. Once you have that baby in you're arms, you will forget everything else that didnt matter in the end. Always be careful who you have kids with. Mines was a joke but I sacrificed everything my sweet little boy.

There are days where we are both moms:

striving mom

mom trying to survive

We have good days and bad days. That doesn't matter only the kids do. It really takes a whole village just to raise 1 baby though. I have my family, my friends, my man around. Im glad I don't have twins. I think I would lose my mind than lol. Bedtime we all know boys hate to sleep. They could have a bedtime since they were born and still act like they don't. You do anything to tire them out but let me tell you they are solar panelled lmao. FULL ON ENERGY. No relaxation at all. Even try to put them in a food coma that food is digested quick and they are ready to eat more.

I know with my son im fighting with him to eat all 3 meals. He prefers snacks all the time. Don't even get me started when I run errands "mommy McDonalds" DID MOMMY NOT TELL YOU TO EAT BEFORE WE LEFT? I know Im going to be saying that a lot and hear "I didnt want to eat that" (Breathe breathe) Especially with the washroom "mommy I have to go pee" DID MOMMY NOT ASK YOU IF YOU HAVE TO USE THE WASHROOM BEFORE WE LEFT THE STORE? "I didnt have to go then" Again we boy moms are surviving. Days are so long when you got stitch running around. YES I CALL HIM STITCH TROUBLE AND ALWAYS YELLED AT. Kind of wondered what would it be like if I had a boss baby? dressed in a suit all serious. OH than again im gonna be concerned why doesn't he find this fun?

What is going on where I am? This city has gone to the point where not just people wanting to end their own lives but wanting to end others. Over the weekend I was with my family, literally imagine gun violence 2 days in a row. Everyday I wake up thanking God for keeping me, my son, and my husband are safe. Friday nigh there was a shooting up the street from me. Again, I'm not surprised that area is my childhood where I grew up but shit still scary.

On Saturday a mass shooting broke out 6 got hurt and 2 passed away. My deepest condolences to the families and friends who lost their loved ones. Salsa on St. Clair has been cancelled for the year. Im glad to my friends who want were ok but traumatized. Im just glad my man didn't go. My anxiety would of gone off to the point I wouldn't be able to breathe.

The same night the mass shooting that happened at 8pm there was another shooting at a nightclub. How can people think shooting each other is better to fight? Nobody fights with fists and punch anymore. Im not sure if this fight happened on the same street near the Rebel nightclub but a huge girl fight broke out right on the road causing traffic.

At every event Toronto has there is always some BS. Pardon my language but these bitches gotta stop. I remember my curfew used to be at 11pm you can't even go outside passed 8pm. Even when im in the backyard with my kids, we had a robbery at my neighbours house and cops were in my backyard all along the grass running around. Luckily my son was asleep.

Usually over here on Canada Day we got these kids shooting fireworks at each other and 1 got lit on fire. Im not sure if that's true but I was told by my home girl. Again how is shooting fireworks at each other a lot of fun? I mean I saw a video these cops were not stopping it at all. They were literally walking on the grass. Of course these kids ran. Eveyday now I open up my social media its all gun violence, stabbings, car jackings by running people over.

TORONTO IS OUT OF CONTROL. I was scared to even raise my kids here and I don't even stay outside till 8pm. Its 7pm time to stay indoors. I feel like its a strong curfew lockdown mode. Everytime my man goes to work and leaves to go home, YEAH I panic. I tell him "PLEASE BE CAREFUL BE SAFE LET ME KNOW WHEN YOU ARE CLOSE TO HOME AND HOW FAR YOU ARE" Yeah he tells me to calm down but he is also my priority.

I hate how the government talks about all the violence, drugs, that is going on but they still haven't done SHIT about it. They are the clowns too. Our mayor is calling it "disgusting" but nothing gets done. I haven't been on public transit either because there was a fight on a train and the guy pulled out his screwdriver and stabbed the other guy up. Anything people have from work especially the construction job, they will use those tools. This is why I don't go out, dont get involved in anything and just mind my own business.

NEVER EVER POST ANYTHING THAT WILL MAKE YOU A TARGET ON SOCIAL MEIDA. But anything that people have and will get they "FLEX IT" I call that a joke. Toronto is like GTA people re-creating this shit IN REAL LIFE. AND ITS FUCKING HORRIBLE. I get scared to even just cross the street because these cars don't care they will just hit you with their car. The amount of prices and costs for everything is making steal for money. THEY CANT AFFORD IT. The malls that I had gone to they stole jewellery, luxury bags out of luxury stores,

Wow its been so long since I posted a blog. I miss this BIG TIME. I'm literally locked in for what is going on in my life and I'm going to give little slight updates. Nothing big. There is no big announcements either. But I'm living that mom life too mostly that will never leave lol.

Couple weeks back my old family friends came by haven't seen them since I was a baby. It was nice actually we did fireworks together, cooked dinner, brought old memories back.

Mothers day was beautiful and I want to thank you guys for all the mothers day wishes. I went to an Italian restaurant oh man let me tell you that food be having you drooling for 3rds. I ate fettuccine linguine shrimp and mussels. That strawberry daiquiri god its so much better than the Bacardi.

I hung out with all my friends went to the park with my kids. Holy this weather is beautiful I haven't been home since like you will literally catch me outside in 1min lol. Going to the waterpark with my kids spending quality time doing picnics is really nice. Thats my little twin. Thank you God for this precious gift.

I have been on new social media I enjoy the new apps. I haven't posted anymore because right now I been going days without my phone. You actually feel the difference from having a phone to not having one. I even said I feel like I waste money at this point.

Im rebranding everything I started all fresh because I want to change everything up and post strictly only content. Not doing no rated R adult stuff anymore. I'm not doing NSFW content anymore. Im not going full on family friendly its just you know you hit a certain stage where its like "you don't have time" but in the end its also like "I'm a mommy" yeah I mean the money is good but ever since of course I work whatever you actually don't have time for side hustles. Thats a little update.

I got a whole new phone finally after a year of texting on a cracked screen lol technically the screen protector but yeah I gave it to my little one since he watches YouTube kids and plays those learning games. I locked everything on it and he only can use the camera and his apps. Sorry yes I'm that mom but you know my kids don't need to know social media. I even locked all shopping apps lol so that was a major one.

I have been back to reading finally. Omg I feel relieved on my kindle with me. When there is new books that will drop, I will post them. Right now I'm trying to finish HAUNTING Adeline because I want to start reading Satan's Affair. Interesting one I can say.

Right now my kids bday is coming up and they don't play when they say "enjoy every moment" time flies it really does. SIGH I know I'm gonna break down when it comes to the first day of school. The potty training I'm struggling with atm. BOYS ARE NOT EASY. Hopefully I get it down packed RIP.

Fortnite came back to mobile lol yeah I have been lowkey buying skins just haven't played full matches because tell me why its so laggy? Again I was on my 13 maybe ill try on my 17 but no point since I got my console more. I really bought fort nite crew just for the crew skin and than hit cancel lmao.

Screwdriver

Vodka

Blue Lagoon 💙

1oz Vodka

1oz blue curaçao

Lemonade

Ice

Sour patch kids (blue)

Why is taking breaks so important? Why do we need to take them? Clearly on my ends because I am a full time mom who has 2 businesses and who runs all of those important papers. ITS STRESS. The amount of stress you have in real life, is the same amount of stress as being online. Being a full time content creator, streamer, public figure etc its the same pressure stress leads too. Answering all those DMS, reading those comment sections, going live. Whole point is you are also getting paid from what you are doing if its a side job.

So because I make money on my media and from work, it's still business handling. I work hard because of my son and these prices don't play. For others its different reasoning and I see them work 10x hard only for themselves. We need to take breaks so we don't ruin our mental health and feel like we are empty all the time. Taking breaks helps us to re-focus on everything and get back on track but with more energy.

They say the human body needs 10 hours of rest and recovery its not just from sleep or needing sleep. Basically it includes what we do like our favourite hobbies, our online connections, our movement. I can't say movement for myself because sitting down isn't in my category lol.

But its also good to refresh our minds and get back on track. Feeling bured out all the time isn't healthy. We always feel like we are functioning but its our low energy (barely). If there is one thing that you had been doing for years you shouldn't feel like you are trapped. Sometimes switching up stuff would make you grow more and feel like tired.

Stress levels from everything will put you in a spot you don't want to try anymore. Being awake at night will make you feel burned out, lack of sleep, heavy foods, caffeine etc. When it comes to this tbh, I like to have a routine. For example:

My son goes to bed at 9pm (takes him an hour to fall asleep)

Around 10pm I shower, brush teeth, do my skin care, clean, you know me all extra spray some lavender mist on my sheets, silky pjs on 10:30pm Im in bed

I pray, read the bible, check everything on my phone one last time

11pm bed

Same routine no changes. I wake up at 4am ready for the gym. 6am I get home I shower get changed and sleep. I wake up at 9am or 10am and im ready for the day. There shouldn't be nothing stressing you out unless you get everything figured out before the next day starts. Getting no sleep what causes you're body to shut down. Its not you that doesn't have energy. its you that doesn't set yourself up for a proper routine.

8am walks or 4am going to the gym isn't so bad at all. Even for a 30 minute run. There are so many things you can do to take a break but also do things that will help you re-focus and get everything back on track. Motivation is key in life. Always find something you want to strive for. Who do you want to strive for? Me personally, im striving hard for my son. I got told from others they are doing it for their family and loved ones or close friends. Keep pure mind in the gutter that will keep you moving. Something great will happen when you make that strong comeback.

2oz Vodka

Gatorade (blue)

Calyspo lemonade (Blue)

Blue curacao

Grenadine

Squeeze of 1 lemon

Rim edges with lime

Blue sparkling sugar powder (used for cakes)

Top it off with shark gummies

Marichino cherries

Lime

Add a shark toy for decoration or fill with grenadine syrup

(I used a syringe instead)

Lime for rimming edges

Ice

Tequila

Lemon juice

Jarritos pop (mango) flavour

Lemon slices to serve

(In this case I use lime instead I prefer it)

2oz Vodka

Berries of choice (blueberries strawberries)

Ice

Sparkling water

Mixed berry juice

For little sweet taste, I use lime for the rim

Caramel

Sugar

Pink Malibu Barbie

2oz vodka

Add Malibu pink rum

Sparkling water

Lemon juice

Starburst pink candies

Ice

Ocean spray pink juice

Tropical Island

2oz vodka

Pineapple juice

Lemon juice

Salt on the rim

Marichino cherries

Fruit Punch

2oz vodka

Fruit punch juice

Lime juice

Pink Candy

2oz vodka

Lemon juice

Cotton candy juice flavour

Sugar on the rim

Marichino cherries