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You take a deep breath, and crawl back down the skylight you came from. Earth was beautiful in that way. Daylight was beautiful. Maybe once you finished this task, this ritual you've spent the last few weeks putting together, you'll be able to open your photosensitive eyes and be able to see what beauty the daylight brought.

That wasn't the only reason, oh no, you still needed this change to happen in order to be rid of your hyperactive worries. After meeting with both Salty and Sollux, you were... reluctant, to say the least. You didn't want to leave them. Bull was going to be devastated when he found out, and Mira? Gods, if only you had the courage to tell her that you would be gone. But no, she'd receive the news like everyone else, the poor dear.

You couldn't even stomach to tell Anotos what you were doing. Would he find you again? No, probably not. He hasn't been online in ages. But there was no time to waste, every piece of the ritual was in place, and your time was sunning short for how long you were able to do it.

"Here's to a new life." you said with a salute to a nervous looking Eros, who smiled and waved you goodbye and bid you sweet words once the door was closed.

You began to light the colored candles in the order of the elements they represented. Water, fire, earth, air, spirit. There was one extra candle for each one, and you lit them in the same order. Next, the blood. A slit of the palm over the dead and dried out herbs. The circle beneath the neatly arranged materials  began to glow, and the once dead plants filled again with life. You gulp as you turn the page of a large text beside you, and begin chanting the phrase stated there.

The constant fear that somebody was out to get you was becoming too much to bear. You couldn't eat aside from when it would keep you alive. You couldn't sleep in case somebody was out to get you, so you stood awake until you couldn't anymore. Most of all, you couldn't find even the slightest shred of joy in life without fear that somebody was going to ruin you for showing so much as a smile.

If it wasn't Cudi sending you into a panic, it was Vati, Holly, or Mora. Everyone is your potential assassin, and you know that even if you knew they had intentions to kill you, you'd go to them with a dumb smile on your face and accept your fate the moment they called.

Your name is Eridan "Wiznerd" Ampora, and you were going to get rid of this fatal attraction to those who hurt you if it was the last thing you did.

Anotos was busy with work too often to tend to you, and that's okay. You won't burden him, because you were a big troll with big problems that were sometimes out of his league. Hell, he nearly fainted when you've told him you've basically sold your soul to the creatures of nightmares. You could handle yourself, just this once.

Magic was a study you've taken up again, and after a few months you've decided on a ritual to perform that will hopefully relieve you of some of your fears. Of course it wasn't permanent, but if you could just keep repeating that, you would be okay.

About a few weeks ago however you noticed something strange. Neither Cudi nor Vriska came online after some chat of a ritual to summon Satan. Maybe they were dead. You could only hope, but maybe, just maybe, you could get some benefit from your blueblooded nightmare's absence.

He always knows what's going on with someone, you say to yourself as you type in the coordinates to his castle, he has to have some way of keeping his information straight. No one troll can keep so much dirt on so many people when they were as twisted as Cudi, so he had to have some records. Records on dangerous people like the ones you feared. If you knew their stories, maybe you could keep yourself in the know on how to keep them at bay and hurt them if push comes to shove.

Once you were inside his castle, eerily empty, you had to keep your eyes out for servants and Riddles (if you ran into him, it was (probably) game over if he found out what you were doing here). Nobody was even here though, your fears were subdued for now.

For a good hour or so, you turn up with nothing. Of course it would be hard to find it, couldn't let everyone's dark secrets getting out to the public. Right when you were about to lose hope, you decided to look through more personal places than desk drawers and bookshelves. You rifled through drawers and closets, and at last, you found a loose floorboard beneath his bed. Beneath it, there were stacks upon stacks of papers, on top of it all an embroidered journal with a lock, but no key.