WTF Fanfiction

about 90% of fanfiction takes place in a utopia where men are thoughtful and unsure of their place in the world

i don't want to actually write a fic, i want to create a gross scenario that i can roll around in for forever, like a dog in a bad smell. you feel me?

making a cross stitch that says "I am funny and he would fucking say that" to hang directly above my monitor

"hey toast you stayed up past midnight because you were working on the fic and not because you were procrastinating by making a hideous pattern for a joke cross stitch" have you never met a writer before

God sometimes I'm writing smut and I'll like, delete a sentence because I'm like, no, I can't write that. It's too indulgent. And then it's like. Girl, what the fuck are you even going to the candy store for if you're just going to buy raisins. Get real.

"what the fuck are you even going to the candy store for if you're just going to buy raisins" is honestly the thing I needed to hear today

@theshitpostcalligrapher

At this point it’s just the Hot Evil Targaryens Show (ft Baelor the gray fox)

pro tip “he freed his erection” is the most useful phrase in any smut writer’s arsenal because it means never having to figure out a dude’s pants situation. how did he do it? were there zippers? buttons? some kind of bizarre lacing situation? maybe he cut off his pants with scissors. maybe it was a wizard. maybe it busted out like the hulk busts out of his shirts. no one knows. no one cares. his dick is out now and that is all that matters. thank you helpful dick wizard.

happy ten year anniversary to the dick wizard

“how did you get into writing” girl nobody gets into writing. writing shows up one day at your door and gets into you

"how did you get into writing" girl i've been tormented by the visions since i was eight years old

the self-indulgent fanfiction will continue until morale improves

The self-indulgent fanficiton will also continue after morale improves, just with better morale.