not mine.”

is losing it.

I say to you and to everyone else.

I will be okay.

I say it to myself, every day.

I will be okay, no matter what it takes.

No matter how long it takes.

I will be okay.

in another life,

we are standing

Side by Side.”

the exact same thing

Over and Over and Over

again

and expect a different outcome.”

- Fairly sure that’s the definition of stupidity

I wonder if my mother grieved for my father in the same way.

Quietly and alone,

so the sorrow remains unknown.”

- no one can know the pain of losing a love that was always in the dark.

second best.”

And all you think about

over and over again,

not to fight

and beg

because how could you know

that anything other

than your complete

and undivided attention

causes me pain.”

So deeply and so desperately

And although I cannot stop myself

from clinging to the thought of you loving me too,

a part of me wants to run

wants to hold my middle finger up

and curse the day you were born

And leave you

when you are sad and alone and desperate.

I can hold your hand and hold you together

through your darkest times.

I can come to you when no one else would

and care for you like no one else could.

Over And Over Again.

Even when my brain is screaming at me to stay put,

to see you look at her

again and again,