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The House - a WIP introduction

more like the estate but it’s a working title so who cares lol.

Format :: short story (collection).

Genre :: historical, I guess?? Maybe? But some stories are set in the 21st century as well haha. It’s complicated to link this to a genre in particular… for now. It’s not exactly horror, despite what this might convey, but possibly slightly Gothic.

Setting :: the same manor house over 3 different centuries. Things happen outside it, but are never expanded on. The manor watches as its inhabitants live their lives and become strangely aware of its prying eyes – yet never manage to fully grasp what’s going on.

Themes :: family, ghosts of the past, character development, angst, loneliness, jealousy, nostalgia, the passing of time, a giant manor house, tradition and fighting to overcome it, a lingering darkness.

Status :: planning/character development.

POV :: 3rd person limited.

Language :: written in Dutch. Excerpts, character info, etc. shared in English.

Synopsis ::

Guided by mysterious feelings and whims, watching as unlikely accidents and strange bouts of luck are thrown their way, the inhabitants of an old manor house wonder if there is more to it all than mere coincidence. What if their house had a mind of its own?

Through three centuries, an old manor watches how its inhabitants live their lives and meddles accordingly. Attempting to make its people live up to its own standards of glorious days long-gone. The house keeps up its pride, yet each new generation appears to stay further away from its ideals. While the house attempts to desperately steer its people in the right direction, it unintentionally harms some of them along the way.

The manor house must learn. So must its inhabitants.

A series of character-driven short stories explores the ways of the old manor house, the people who inhabit it, and how they learn from each other.

(Some) characters ::

The Caretaker :: a favourite, the youngest of her generation. Loved by the house, yet deeply undervalued by her family members. The house will not let go of her; the rest of her surroundings take her for granted. They don’t realise it, but they’d miss her terribly if she wasn’t around.

The Performer :: filled with dreams of the stage. A natural at acting, possibly bisexual, and a horrid singer. She gives up part of her dreams, but never truly lets go. An introvert who truly comes to life when she’s allowed to be someone else for just a few hours.

Drowner of Sorrows :: a good brother, husband, father, and grandfather. Yet deeply flawed, for his amicable nature stretches only so far – he appears to have lost his way with people after the biggest tragedy in his life. Hobby writer of plays, responsible, and always a good person at heart. Knows no way to openly express his feelings towards people; not anymore.

The Second Youngest :: always the second in life. Never the first, anyway. He just wants to be the best at something, to be someone’s first choice, yet even his wife married him as second best candidate. His sister would be the only one to understand him, but he’ll never discover because he envies her for “stealing” his title of youngest.

The One Who Returned :: descendant of a fallen aristocratic family… a family that just so happened to live in the house during their days of past glory. Married to the second youngest, in love with someone else. Connected to the house in a way. Tweed, tartan, pleats.

The Adventurer :: former favourite, too stubborn to listen to the house’s will. Escapee, archaeologist(’s wife), always looking for a new adventure. The favourite aunt for all the unique gifts she brings home from her holidays. Attention seeker, somewhat melodramatic.

The Eldest :: loves antiques, has a porcelain collection. Has a great sense of humour which he (too frequently) uses to avoid talking about more serious things; feelings specifically. Unhappily married.

Fake tears/emotions just to be polite.

Avoiding funerals/emotional events in fear that not crying might be impolite.

“Testing” their own emotions out of doubt: “what if everyone’s right? Am I unemotional?”

Trying to make themselves cry when they’re alone, because “can I actually cry?” Then holding back said tears if they succeed because oh, shit, this isn't actually what I want.

Guilt for not showing what everyone else did, not because they didn’t want to, but because they can’t.

Choking back whatever they feel on moments they don’t think it’s convenient.

Frustration about the poor timing of tears because it would’ve been so useful a while ago! Despite knowing they probably wouldn’t have cried at that funeral if they would’ve felt tears sting their eyes.

Being misunderstood all. the. damn. time. and not undertaking the slightest efforts to change people’s misjudgment.

“You can’t feel [insert emotion], can you?”, “Hah, no I can’t!” Of course they can, they just won’t say it. Or, the alternative: the blank stare/an empty laugh instead of a vocal reply. Neither a denial nor a confirmation.

Pure and utter confusion about emotional people on TV. An inability to relate to why people would let themselves go like that in front of a camera -- not understanding that perhaps, not everyone is as good at concealing emotions as you are.

Deadly silence instead of showing anger.

Passive aggressiveness.

Yelling at someone instead of crying in front of them.

Better come off as offended or arrogant than show what you really feel.

“I’m laughing but actually I want to punch you in the face.” the fact that the person who made them angry probably doesn’t even know it is even more infuriating.

Saying “I need to be alone” and meaning it. Don’t follow to console, please.

When they do lose control, you bet it's going to be a whirlwind of emotion.

Not consciously having to restrain themself anymore. It just happens.

It could be that I'm just old-fashioned, but there's something about putting pen to paper that you just can't get from typing on a computer.

No blank-page syndrome! For me at least.

Because I can only write so fast, my mind tends to go more quickly than what I can physically keep up with. I used to think this was a downside, but I've come to realise it's actually a good thing: I keep writing instead of getting stuck on thinking what's going to happen next.

Finally, I'm filling up the notebooks I never had a purpose for.

My handwriting has drastically improved, because I finally get enough practice!

It's easier to let go of my internal editor. When I can't backspace my sentences, it's a lot easier to just continue and leave the editing for when you type the story on your computer.

Standards aren't as high in general. I can just write for the sake of writing in my notebook. Who cares if I just write one sentence I like before moving on to another idea? Why should I bother with proper research when I can always do that later? That word might not mean what I think it does, but it covers the meaning well enough for now. I'm never going to allow anymore person to read my journal anyway, so I really don't have to worry about messing up.

It's less easy to get distracted. The only purpose my writing journal serves is writing; it's not also one of my main sources of entertainment (and procrastination). The step between closing your journal and picking up your phone is much larger than just opening a browser next to your writing document.

A little follow-up to this post, which seems to have been helpful to quite some people :)

Picking up a glass to drink something. Not only does this signal "I'm okay", but for some reason moving around helps. A lot. Especially when you drink, because occupying your mouth also helps for some reason.

Not looking people in the eyes. Looking at someone can for some reason make it a lot more challenging to hold in your tears; a no-go for someone trying not to cry.

Trying to leave the room ASAP. No matter if you are or aren't planning to let yourself go once you're alone, being alone almost always seems like a good idea.

Feeling lightheaded. When you're not showing your emotions in the "regular" way, they're bound to surface in another. Lightheadedness, blurred vision (unrelated to tears), and a variety of other things are common "alternatives" for both anger and sadness.

Smiling in possibly inappropriate situations. Because a smile is sometimes the easiest cover-up there is!

S h a k i n g. Tremors – especially hand tremors – are easy to notice and difficult to hide, but they (can) happen all the time when you're feeling strong emotions.

Little nervous tics you can't help. Like a twitching mouth, eye, etc. They're kind of the same as tremors, but not really?

Fidgeting and/or moving around a lot. Pretty much any nervous habit you can think of, really! Your character might be occupied with trying not to show their emotions, but they'll be more than likely to show some unavoidable nervous habits. It's impossible to hide everything.

That feeling of intense dread when your mouth corners start to force themselves to drop. This is an awful feeling that can hardly be described. You know you're pretty much done for, because once those corners drop, you need to get out of the situation or you'll be crying in a matter of seconds.

Refusing to talk. Your voice will break when you try to speak, and that's not something a character hiding their emotions is usually willing to risk. They'd rather seem like an arse than have their voice break.

Yelling when they do have to talk. Because somehow, your voice is less likely to break when you raise it.

Bonus

Finally allowing themself to break when they know they’re entirely alone. It’s safe to let go when you know no one will be there to pity you.

I'm working on a character who has this really good friend she grew close to in boarding school, and even 20 odd years later they're still close friends. (Despite living in different countries now.)

I originally planned for them to have unacknowledged feelings for each other. It would make sense in the way that they're both women, and they would've met in the 1930s/'40s – only for the story to take place in the '50s or '60s. Plenty of reason to suppress those feelings, or at least try to ignore them.

Ada & Edith - a WIP introduction

Format :: short story.

Genre :: historical fiction. You could say it’s a romance, but that somehow doesn’t feel like an appropriate label.

Setting :: The Netherlands, 1880s - the early 1950s.

Themes :: historical lesbians, some specific bits of Amsterdam’s history, accepting who you are even if your environment disapproves, family, love, loss, poverty, aiming for more in life.

Status :: working on a very messy first draft + character development.

POV :: still deciding! Current pieces are written in both 3rd person and 1st person. I’m leaning towards 1st person because I like the idea of an old lady recalling her history relating to a certain other lady.

Language :: written in Dutch. Excerpts, character info, etc. shared in English.

Synopsis :: when one of her youngest neighbours, a girl of about 8 years old, asks old Ada Smit about the portait photo of a beautiful lady on her mantlepiece, she says she was a dear friend. The dear friend wasn’t just a friend at all, but a lover of over 40 years. Ada reflects on those years, sometimes sweet and sometimes bitter.