kiss with a fist

It felt real…I didn’t even know I was asleep. I don’t know, I hope it was just a nightmare that never comes true.

I don't remember falling asleep either. It's fucking weird. I think I'd take any full moon over the one.

I- I’m sorry, that must have been horrible for you. 

It was, but it wasn't real, right? Unless, right now we're dreaming, but fuck that. I'm not believing that.

No I haven’t seen her yet. Maybe..I just don’t wanna go through that again, I don’t wanna see his face again.

You won't. He's not here. I had one too. I dreamt that I was arrested and they took my daughter away, and she's here, so it wasn't real.

Have you seen her today? Maybe, you should talk to her so you'll feel better. 

Yeah, but I thought it was real, it felt real. M-my dad, he came back, h-he killed everyone…and my s-sister she..

No, not really..

Bad dreams? I think everyone had them.

I’ll never be able to get away from him…

You okay?

Thankfully I’m still in view of my feet, but I won’t get attached too that. Its starting to get exciting.

I wasn't excited at the time, but I'm sure it is for you. Have they moved yet?

I think it is, you’re a survivor and that pretty admirable. I think we’ll have them tell us, the ultrasound is pretty soon so we should find out then. Yeah? Thats good I’m happy for you.

Well...thanks, I guess. I wouldn't say that, but it's still nice of you. It goes by fast doesn't it? One day you're holding a positive test then the next you can't see your ankles. 

I’m sure it’ll be hard with two people, I really admire you. You’re so strong. Well, we don’t know for sure, but that Father is pretty into having a daughter. We decided on Julian for a boy. The same goes for you yeah?

There's no reason to admire. I'm just another sixteen and pregnant case, except older and no cameras. Are you  going to wait until you have them to find out or have the doctor tell you? Thanks. I've had help lately, which is nice.

I am lucky, I’m the luckiest girl alive. I’m sorry, is it easier now? Well once Eliza’s born, they can play together. 

It'll always be hard, but I wouldn't give it up for anything. Eliza's a pretty name. Are you sure it's a girl? And yeah definitely, if you need any help, let me know.

Oh I am so into that idea. He’s good though he’ll do it. You have a baby right? Harley?

Lucky you. Mhm, she's two now. I didn't have anyone around to rub my feet when I had her.

Almost four and half months. Being on your feet all day is a killer.

Yeah, it fucking sucks. Get your baby daddy to rub your feet with oil. 

Don't be. I get it. How far off are you?

I’m sure every other parent says the same thing about theirs. If you got time now then go… get completely shit faced, fuck a stranger, manipulate people into doing what you want, or whatever you can do and still take care of the lil one. Yeah I’d say that’s fun, except for me it’s usually make them cry while they become my dinner.

Probably, but some parents have bratty kids and won't admit it. Surprisingly, that doesn't sound like something I want to do if I ever get free time. A vacation would be nice though---with a pool bar or something, I don't know. See, I don't really eat people, so I'd skip that part.

They’re fun for like 5 minutes till they start crying and getting on my nerves, but I guess it’s different when it’s your own kid, how old is she? Well what do you do for fun, didn’t think there was a lot of options around here. 

It is. I'd hate any other kid, but mine is the best. Don't know. I never really had time for fun, until now. Does making grown men cry and drinking their tears with dinner count as fun?