i think i stopped being important a long time ago

nothing has ever hurt this bad

no one fucking cares

sometimes something starts hurting so bad you can’t feel it anymore

the truth is i don’t even have words to describe the pain anymore and i swallow my words with a gulp that leaves my throat sore for that stupid hope that things will get better but even if they get better, the better lasts for a couple hours and the worse seems to last forever, the undertone is always there and i’m dying here acting like everything is okay but it’s not and i don’t even know how to talk about it anymore. no one cares anyway they all seem to act the same and that’s the part that hurts the most. i wanted this time to be different. more than anything.

well i’m fucking broken

and it hurts

can i even fix it anymore

i don’t know what’s happening anymore but i hate it

i’m putting in all the effort because i’m scared to lose everything

i’m fucking trying even though it’s fucking destroying me

if it was easy i wouldn’t be here

i just want things to feel okay again

and i would do anything for you even if it means hurting myself

and i’m sick of waiting patiently for someone who won’t even arrive