Work In Progress

I loved you with all of my heart. I still love you. Because my kind of love is real. I don't just give up on people. But damn you have done almost everything one can do in their actions to show how much they don't really care about someone.

Lust is not love.

Jealousy is not love.

Lying is not love.

Busting a door open knowing I'm behind it and it hitting my face and busting my eyebrow open (can't believe I even have to say this) is not love.

Pretending to be a compassionate, understanding, chivalrous gentleman and then cheating, emotionally and physically abusing me, and not having mercy on me enough to give be space after my loved one just passed...is not love.

You write all this poetry and all these posts about being betrayed by love when it's you...you ARE the betrayer. You play the victim but you are the victimizer.

How fitting that Jar of Hearts by Christina Perri is playing, I hope every girl that crosses your path is only made stronger and better from it and moves on from you because you truly don't know how to love a woman the way a man should love a woman.

I hope every woman you meet from here on out can see right through your facade before all the pain I had to endure...I hope they are able to leave before you do your damage, not after.

Me finally standing up and demanding respect is where your true colors finally shined through and baby they weren't pretty colors. Strange thing is after it all, I still believe you really loved me...with what you thought/think love is. And I know I loved you with what I know love to be, it's not just a feeling it's also your actions.

Maybe one day you'll figure it out, but don't try to tell me you've figured it out tomorrow, cause you've got a lot to learn and I'm no longer a fool to your ways. The things you need to learn can't be learned overnight, not even close. I'll say a prayer for you but also for every woman you're going to run into.