Playin' to the cheap seats

“Tell me what you do remember.” Story: Ah, the Trojan War. Homer wrote a song about it. Like to hear it? Here it go. But this story is about after. Specially why it took Odysseus twenty years to finally return after he left for Troy. Genre I’d put it in: Classics, Illuminated Release Date: 2026 Remake, Sequel, Based-On, or Original: Based on the epic poem by Homer. Gotta say: Christopher…

“You brought this out in me.” Story: After the death of her abusive husband, Alice must deal with two of the most horrific things someone can ever put themselves through; a funeral, then dinner with the in-laws. Honestly, if the deadites hadn’t shown up – thanks to dearly departed grandpa’s research – things probably would have gone similarly. But with less blood and gore. Maybe. Genre I’d put…

“Does Niki like me?” Story: Baron/Bear is socially awkward guy hopelessly in love with his friend Nikki. But it’s obvious to everyone else that that’s a one-way street. So when he goes to a curio shop to pick up a gift for his love, he spies a silly “One Wish Willow” gag. Except it’s not a gag. And when Bear uses it himself to wish for her love? Nikki becomes down bad. Emphasis on bad. Genre…

“Listen.” Story: WWIII is looming. [No, not for real, she said hopefully.] A conflict in Korea is stirring up fear among governments and their people. As the world prepares for the worst, Dr. Daniel Kellner is trying to release information that could stop things from progressing, at least for a while; aliens are real, and a shadowy corporation called WARDEX has been hiding this for almost eight…

“I opened the window. I won’t be coming back.” Story: In 1990, a man named Clark is losing everything. His wife, his home, and soon his business. Meanwhile, his therapist Mary is still battling demons from her past. And Mark Duplass Phil? He’s around. Because this story is creepy AF; of course a Duplass is in the mix. Ready to walk through the wall of Clark’s basement? Oh, I wouldn’t if I were…

“Is it true, what they’re saying?”  Genre: Meditative ApocalypsesRelease Date: 2026 (streaming/wide) 2024 (SXSW) Where I Watched: Hulu Gist: An “accidental deployment” of a strange new American weapon causes the southern areas of Tasmania to be destroyed, and the rest of the population are rendered brain dead. But soon the military is saying that some of the dead are coming “back online”, but…

“Ah, fate. An ever winding road that leads you to me.” Story: It’s been twenty years since fresh faced journalism grad Andy Sachs did time in the mines of Runway magazine, serving as director Miranda Priestly’s assistant. Since then, Andy has made a name for herself in investigative journalism, garnering respect, and a slew of awards. But when print media starts to crumble, where can Andy go?…

“This is your life. You ready to fight for it?” Story: A young group of talented boys begin a singing career in Gary, Indiana. As they become more popular, the Jackson 5 hit stardom, with youngest member Michael standing out for his one-of-a-kind voice and charisma. But breaking free from an overbearing father can be harder than stardom could ever be… Genre I’d put it in: Emotionally Effective…

Wanna be starting something? Me too! So let’s do this. Synopsis! MICHAEL is the cinematic portrayal of the life and legacy of one of the most influential artists the world has ever known. The film tells the story of Michael Jackson’s life beyond the music, tracing his journey from the discovery of his extraordinary talent as the lead of the Jackson Five, to the visionary artist whose creative…

“You gonna be the Italy Get Out!” Story: “Professional house-sitter” and CINY dropout Anna has had her latest gig canceled on her. So, with no place to go, she hits a hotel bar and meets Matteo, an equally free spirit…with an empty villa in Tuscany just lying around doing nothing. Anna has a ticket to Tuscany, thanks to plans made by her recently deceased mom. Why not visit Tuscany? It’s not…

Longing to travel somewhere beautiful? I’ve got the next best thing; passes to this beautiful film! Synopsis! Halle Bailey (The Little Mermaid, The Color Purple) stars as Anna, a young woman who has abandoned her dreams of becoming a chef and is now drifting through her twenties with a series of bad choices. When Anna loses her house-sitting job (and housing) in one fell swoop, a chance…

“A lot of people that were in that space are now in politics.” Genre: Fascinating Documentaries About Icky People Release Date: 2026 Where I Watched: Netflix Gist: Award winning documentarian Louis Theroux takes a look at the Manosphere, and several of the men leading this controversial movement. Gotta say: Yes, Theroux is a respected documentarian. But my favorite thing about him is this song.…

“Crazy night LOL 💀💀💀” Story: The continuing adventures of newly married/newly separated/newly widowed Grace, and her quest for a cigarette. This time? It’s more than one family. Plus her younger sister. Where TF can a gal get a light around here? Genre I’d put it in: Successful Sequels Release Date: 2026 Remake, Sequel, Based-On, or Original: Based on, and a sequel to, Ready or Not. Gotta say:…

“…even though I’d never really imagined making a true crime documentary, working in documentary [filmmaking] these days, true crime kinda got this gravitational pull.” Story: Charlie Shackleton is a documentary filmmaker on a mission; to do a documentary on a true crime novel he’d had his eye on for a while. But when he doesn’t get the rights to the novel? He does the next best thing; he makes a…

“Alright. So what am I looking at?” Story: Director Josef Gatti deconstructs ten “inner workings of nature”, looking at our mundane world in ways that spotlight the makeup of our universe. Genre I’d put it in: Science Documentaries You Actually Want To Watch Release Date: 2026  Remake, Sequel, Based-On, or Original: A feature length documentary based on the TV series of the same name. Gotta…

“If they can break what’s always been the biggest and strongest union in this country? Believe me, other unions will not be able to withstand the onslaught.” Story: The Teamsters – “the largest collective bargaining agreement in all of North America” – fight for the rights of over a million employees throughout the USA. So when the UPS/Teamsters in 2023 contract was up for renewal, the 2018…

“Mom, did that really happen to you? Like in the movie?”Story: It’s been almost thirty years since Sidney Prescott went through a living hell in her hometown of Woodsboro. Now she’s all grown up, with kids of her own. Most importantly, a teenage daughter named Tatum (after her high school BFF). But, of course, Sidney can’t simply relax; she’s still getting calls from nutters thinking they’re…