17. ode to you;

s.coups | who wins: depends physically you are probably at a disadvantage i mean the dude literally won a wrestling competition so you know he jacked af and if you even look at any one of his kids (read: rest of seventeen) the wrong way you know for a fact that he’s gonna be coming after your ass. at the same time though he’s a pretty typical leo so if you stroke his ego or get him ranting about pledis he will probably be distracted long enough for you to take him down. use your words wisely here

jeonghan | who wins: jeonghan if you were just throwing fists then you could easily take jeonghan down as easily as busting down a paper door but the problem here is that this man will come after you with a vengeance like no other through other evil schemes and before you know it he’ll have stolen your job, your friends, your girl, and your pride. don’t fight jeonghan unless you’re willing to lose everything except your biceps. 

joshua | who wins: you, but not really listen i don’t think joshua actually even cares enough to fight back. he’ll probably just throw up a peace sign and be like “yooooo what’s up” if you even try to start a fight with him and then treat the whole thing as a friendly scuffle. even when he has you in a literal headlock with those buff arms of his he’ll probably just let you win because he is first and foremost a gentleman, which only makes it feel even less like a victory

jun | who wins: jun this dude is just distracting. he won’t even be doing anything in particular but his presence alone will weaken all your punches before they can make contact because he just radiates pure and good energy and you’ll find yourself in a fit of giggles for no god damn reason. and honestly he will have no clue what’s going on either but he’ll take advantage of it and finish you off with the same martial arts he’s been using since debut

hoshi | who wins: 50/50 every single one of this dude’s personal placements is in gemini which both works for and against you. on one hand this means the dude is completely unpredictable, but on the other hand that also means that hoshi is probably going to get distracted by himself and waste a solid 10 minutes promoting his tiger agenda. fight hoshi if you’re feeling lucky today

wonwoo | who wins: wonwoo at first glance wonwoo seems like your typical nerdy gamer boy who you could easily take on but the man is also an intellectual and is always thinking 10 steps ahead in any situation. at first you’ll think you’re winning and then he’ll shikamaru the shit out of you and you’ll realize you’ve just been dancing in the palm of his hand the entire time

woozi | who wins: woozi woozi knows how to play like 189 instruments and has also mastered the art of using every single one of them as a murder device. and the catch is he doesn’t even need them he can fuck you up with or without them like the dude who brings nothing to a knife fight and still wins because he’s just that badass. don’t fight woozi if you value your life

dk | who wins: nobody dk wouldn’t dare fight you, and why would you even want to fight him in the first place you absolutely heartless monster

mingyu | who wins: you him being like 6′2′’ means absolutely nothing considering he has absolutely 0 hand eye coordination and fumbles over his own long ass legs on a daily basis. he’ll literally do half the work for you in the form of self-inflicted damage, you just have to deliver the final blow. also he probably deserves it. fight mingyu 

the8 | who wins: the8 not only will the8 absolutely decimate you, he will look absolutely flawless while doing it. and if his b-boying and martial art skills weren’t enough this dude can also send absolutely merciless daggers into your heart in the form of cold cut words targeting every emotional weakness you’ve ever had. and to top it off he’s a whole ass scorpio. don’t fight the8 because there will be nothing of you left when he’s through with you

seungkwan | who wins: depends with seungkwan there are a lot of factors to consider. the first being if there are any cameras in the vicinity. if there are not then you will absolutely lose because then the filters are completely off and this man has a lot of pent up frustration he’s about to let loose. if there are cameras it depends on what would be the funniest outcome and would earn the highest ratings for the show. play by script and wit for this one.

vernon | who wins: ??? honestly vernon is just here to vibe man, and the minute you go try to fight him you’ll forget why you wanted to fight him in the first place. instead you’ll just get pulled into whatever vernon happens to be doing at the moment. go fight vernon if you want to engage in a philosophical talk about life