𝐖𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐞𝐋𝐮𝐯𝐯𝐯

“and THEN she blended the contour with a damp sponge instead of a brush and i’m telling you jake, it literally changed the structural integrity of her face.”

jake blinked slowly from where he sat, one arm stretched behind you. “structural integrity.”

“yes!” you laughed. “like she went from moon emoji to greek statue in thirty seconds.”

he gave a small chuckle at first. he always did. even when he didn’t understand you, he liked hearing you excited. your voice filled rooms too easily. like confetti someone forgot to clean up.

“and okay wait because THEN i started thinking maybe i should try that peach undertone thing? but i don’t know because the lighting in sephora is literally government propaganda.”

jake rubbed a hand down his face.

“mhm.”

you didn’t notice the shift at first.

“and babe, imagine me with that glossy lip combo i showed you? the one with the liner and—”

jake exhaled hard this time.

you paused for half a second. “what?”

“nothin.” but his eyes had already drifted away from you toward the tv that wasn’t even on.

you tried smiling anyway. “no, tell me.”

another sigh.

“baby…” he muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose. “i just… i don’t understand any of this stuff.”

your fingers slowly stilled in your lap.

“i know…” you said softly, trying to laugh it off. “you don’t gotta understand makeup.”

“no but it’s like…” he shook his head. “can you stop talking about it for like, one second?”

the room went weirdly quiet after that.

jake looked irritated in the careless way people do right before they realize they crossed a line.

“it’s just… damn.” he let out a dry laugh. “you’re kinda irritating when you get like this.”

and there it was.

it wasn’t not yelled or cruel. just tossed at you casually like it wouldn’t land somewhere permanent.

your smile faded almost invisibly.

jake finally looked at you properly then.

you swallowed once and nodded a little too quickly. “oh.. yeah. okay.”

jake looked like he had been slapped by his own sentence. just genuinely stunned at what came out of him earlier.

his eyebrows pulled together.

“no—” he let out a breath, almost disbelieving at himself. “no, i did not mean that.”

“no, you’re right.” your voice stayed painfully polite. “i totally understand.”

the bubbly energy that had been bouncing around the room seconds ago vanished like somebody unplugged it from the wall.

you stood up carefully, smoothing your shorts even though they didn’t need smoothing.

“i think i’m gonna take a nap.” you said quietly. “i’m tired.”

you usually argued back. teased him. dramatically gasped and called him rude before talking again five minutes later anyway. but this? this was different. your eyes wouldn’t even stay on him now.

he sat up straighter. “baby, wait, i didn’t mean it like that.”

you nodded again. too nice. too fast. “it’s okay.”

it was the “okay” people use when it absolutely is not okay.

you started walking toward the bedroom.

jake stared at your back for two seconds before standing abruptly. “babe.”

you stopped but didn’t turn around.

he ran a hand through his hair, already hating himself. “don’t do that.”

you looked down at the floor. “i’m not doing anything.”

and somehow that hurt him more.

jake reached for your wrist gently. “baby… look at me.”

you finally did and your eyes were glossy now, trying so hard not to be.

the regret hit him like a truck with brass knuckles.

“shit…” he whispered immediately. “no, no, sweetheart…”

his hand slid up your arm carefully like he thought you might pull away.

“i didn’t mean you’re irritating.” his voice softened fast. “i was irritated. that’s different.”

you gave the tiniest shrug. “it’s fine.”

“it’s not fine if i made you feel bad.”

your face crumpled just a little at that, enough for him to realize how hard you were trying to hold it together over one stupid comment.

jake cursed under his breath and pulled you into him before you could protest.

“you get excited and you ramble.” he murmured into your hair. “i know that. i love that about you.”

you stayed quiet against his chest.

“i’m just an idiot.” he rubbed your back slowly. “a giant one. like medically concerning levels.”

a tiny laugh escaped you accidentally.

“there she is…” he whispered immediately, relief flooding his voice like sunlight through cracked blinds.

you hid your face against him. “you hurt my feelings.”

“i know.” his grip tightened. “i know, baby. i’m sorry.”

after jake apologized. more than once, actually. he hugged you and kissed your forehead and called himself an idiot, and swore he never meant it the way it came out.

but suddenly that sentence would flash through your head out of nowhere.

irritating.

it lodged itself somewhere ugly in your brain and refused to leave.

and you hated that.

because logically, you knew jake loved you.

you knew it every time he pulled you into his lap while playing games. every time he saved the pickles from his burger because you liked them. every time he looked for you first in crowded rooms like his eyes did it automatically.

you knew.

but insecurities are weird little parasites.

they don’t care about logic.

so now every time you got excited, something inside you hesitated first.

you started noticing yourself more. maybe too much.

the way your voice got louder when you were passionate about something. the way you interrupted yourself because your thoughts moved too fast. the way you jumped from topic to topic without warning.

before, it used to feel natural.

now it felt embarrassing. like becoming aware of how loudly you chew. you couldn’t unnotice it anymore.

and the worst part?

jake didn’t even realize how much it affected you because you tried so hard to act normal.

you still smiled, still laughed and still cuddled him at night.

you just… edited yourself now.

when you got excited about something from tiktok, you’d think about bringing it up… then decide not to.

sometimes you caught yourself literally checking his face while talking to see if he looked annoyed.

that part made you feel pathetic.

and the next few days they felt… off.

not in an obvious fighting way, probably worse. but you just got quiet.

jake noticed it almost immediately.

usually when you came home from college, the apartment exploded with noise within five minutes. your bag hitting the floor dramatically. you talking about professors like they were reality show villains. random makeup opinions nobody asked for. twenty different stories tangled together at once.

but now?

nothing.

that afternoon the apartment was filled with the low hum of rain again, the tv playing some random show neither of you were paying attention to.

you sat curled into the opposite end of the couch, knees tucked to your chest while scrolling on your phone silently.

too silently.

jake glanced over from where he sat.

usually you would’ve been halfway laying on top of him by now.

instead there was actual distance between you two.

it bothered him more than he expected.

he muted the tv after a while. “how was college today?”

you didn’t even look up from your phone.

“alright.”

jake waited.

normally that question unlocked a forty minute recap complete with impressions, side quests, and emotional damage.

but that was it.

“…busy, i guess.”

his eyes narrowed slightly.

“busy?” he repeated.

“mhm.”

silence again.

the rain tapped softly against the windows.

jake stared at you for another second before leaning back slowly.

another ten minutes passed and you barely spoke. every answer was short, polite or neat. like you were trying not to bother him.

jake finally tossed the remote onto the couch with a sigh.

“okay, no.”

you looked up finally. “what?”

“why are you acting like that?”

you blinked innocently. “like what?”

“like you’re in a waiting room.”

your fingers paused against your phone screen.

“i’m not.”

“baby, you’ve said maybe six words since you got home.”

you shrugged lightly. “i’m tired.”

jake stared at you.

that shrug almost pissed him off because it was so obviously fake-casual.

he leaned forward, elbows on his knees. “you’re still upset about the other night?”

your eyes dropped back to your phone instantly. “i said it was fine.”

“yeah, and i’m starting to realize that when you say ‘it’s fine’ it actually means i should start preparing my funeral arrangements.”

that almost got a smile.

he scooted closer slowly. “hey…”

you kept staring at your phone even though you hadn’t scrolled in thirty seconds.

his voice softened.

“baby.”

you swallowed. “what?”

“talk to me.”

your throat tightened a little at that because the stupid part was… you wanted to.

you missed talking to him normally.

but now every time you got excited about something, that sentence echoed in your head.

you’re kinda irritating when you get like this.

so instead you just shrugged again. “there’s nothing to talk about.”

jake’s expression shifted immediately.

hurt.

real hurt.

“don’t do that.”

you frowned softly. “do what?”

“shut me out because i said something stupid.”

you finally looked at him then.

“i’m not shutting you out.”

“yes you are.” he said quietly. “you don’t even ramble anymore.”

that word made your chest ache.

ramble…

because before, he used to say it like it was something fond.

now it just felt embarrassing.

you looked down at your lap. “i didn’t realize it was that annoying.”

jake’s face dropped instantly.

“baby…”

“it’s okay.” you said quickly. too quickly. “i’ve been trying to chill out more anyway.”

that sentence hit him like a brick to the throat.

because you sounded sincere.

like you were genuinely trying to make yourself smaller for him.

“no.” jake moved closer immediately. “no, don’t do that.”

you looked confused. “do what?”

“this.” he gestured toward you helplessly. “being all quiet and weird.”

your voice came out tiny. “i thought you wanted me to.”

jake physically flinched and silence filled the room again.

then suddenly he was pulling your phone gently out of your hands and tossing it onto the couch beside him.

“c’mere.”

before you could protest, he tugged you into his lap.

you let out a surprised noise, hands instinctively grabbing his hoodie.

jake wrapped both arms around you tightly. “i was irritated one time.” he muttered into your shoulder. “one time, and now my girlfriend acts like she needs customer service training before speaking.”

you huffed the tiniest laugh despite yourself.

“baby, i miss hearing you talk.” he admitted quietly. “the apartment feels creepy without it.”

you looked down. “really?”

“yes, really.” he said immediately. “i wanna hear about your professors and your makeup theories and whatever random thing your tiktok algorithm taught you today.” he rested his chin against your shoulder, holding you a little closer. “i don’t want you sitting here and second guess every thought before you say it.”

your eyes stung a little at that.

jake noticed instantly and groaned softly. “i meant it baby.”

he pulled you closer against his chest, rubbing your back slowly.

“i’m sorry, sweetheart.” he murmured into your hair. “seriously.”

then after a second.

“…now tell me how college was for real this time.”

you sniffled once.

“my sociology professor accidentally emailed the entire class her grocery list.”

jake blinked.