If you have a problem with me. Tell me. But do it civilly. I am always open for debating shit, to learning and be better- But if I go through your comment, post, dm, etc. And provide counterpoints, and you respond by ignoring them and just repeating yourself, or you respond by talking down to me as if I am below you- Or if you treat me like an uneducated child and not the grown ass adult that I am. Do not expect my kindness to continue.
I will still listen if you choose to be a decent fucking person and actually debunk my counterpoints and provide proof against them- Because I do genuinely give a fuck. But you best come prepared to have a CIVIL and CALM conversation about whatever the issue is. I have no patience for people who make assumptions and attack calm people without decency. I understand that a lot of people are fucking garbage, that sometimes you gotta get mean for them to listen. But you do not need to do that with me, and if you do I will shut down. And that will not help anyone.
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It's disappointing that the majority of the Stranger Things fandom seems to believe that Billy started repeating the cycle because he was a bad person rather than because he simply had no experience of a home or family structure that wasn't abusive. When discussing him, fandom has a tendency to remove Neil's abuse entirely as a factor for his behavior despite the story going out of its way to show the audience that it is actually the MAIN factor. Like...there's no way that kid on the beach (or the one who stood up for his mother) becomes abusive without being raised by an abuser. There are certain characters in fiction that are framed as naturally controlling and cruel from the start, but Billy isn't one of those. Billy is actually framed as a sweet and caring boy who is sculpted into a monster by his father from a very young age.
If you pay attention, you'll notice that Billy doesn't try to spend more time with Max than he has to. He is extremely reluctant to chaperone her anywhere and doesn't really keep tabs on her because he believes she's old enough to look out for herself. Which means it's likely that if Neil were not there demanding that Billy control Max, there's a good chance that Billy on his own wouldn't have tried to. It's fascinating to me that the same people who rail against Joyce's parentification of Jonathan don't ever clock that same parentification as fueling Billy's resentment towards Max (Neil and Susan were three hours late getting home in 2x09, something that Billy probably would have been hit for if he'd done it- in fact, that's basically what he does get hit for, since he doesn't know where Max has been those 3 hours; to them, Billy is basically a set of wheels and a pair of eyes that lets them shirk their own parental responsibilities).
Idk, I guess my point is, when people talk about Max and the defense mechanisms she uses, especially in s2 (her inability to trust easily and her sharpness in the face of Lucas's gentleness), they're happy to blame those on Billy. On some level, there's a desire to believe a more open, trusting, and happy Max exists beneath the image she projects to protect herself. But when people talk about Billy's defense mechanisms, they're happy to...also blame those on Billy, in direct contradiction to what the show tells them. Suddenly, the conversation becomes about how people choose how they respond to abuse, as though Billy had the option of being a better victim and just said "nah, maybe not". As if anybody chooses to be emotionally unregulated all the time. And as if Billy hasn't been just as fearful of his father as Max has been of him, except for a much longer time and to a much higher degree. His fight or flight response is basically completely fucked - that's why he overreacts to things most of the time. And I'm not sure why people think he dysregulated his own emotions and decided to be abusive on his own when the show very deliberately layers Billy's past with his abusive father over "the source" of the MF's posession. Like...was the symbolism there not clear enough? Should the Duffers go through it screen-by-screen?
This particular piece of cognitive dissonance annoys me a lot because it's generally how abusers get away with abuse - by convincing onlookers that the victim is the shitty one and they just need a "strong hand" to control them. Billy's defense mechanisms range from unpleasant to dangerous, but that doesn't make them innate characteristics any more than Max's tendency to push people away. It doesn't mean there's no hope for him.
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billy is cremated and since neil left and susan is mentally miles away, max carries billy's ashes around with her because she doesn't know what to do with him, can't get to san diego to spread the ashes and billy hated hawkins so now max is That Weird Kid stashing her brother's remains in her backpack debating with a ziploc bag if he'd prefer the radioshack off the highway or what's left of the camaro-scraps in the junkyard, squishing the ashes around between classes and telling billy about all the drama between the nerds and her dates with lucas and how steve somehow picked out billy's jacket from all the other jackets from goodwill and how many bottles mom's gone through and they lost the house on cherry lane and neil just disappeared and that billy is such a dick to say sorry and fuck off and sometimes she thinks she can hear billy's annoying manic cackle telling her she's such a freak and she better learn stick because where he is they don't do lame shit like automatic.
OH MY GOD THE QUESTION WAS “who was the most misunderstood villain in stranger things” AND JOE KEERY WAS THE FIRST TO ANSWER?? AND HE SAID BILLY?? AND WENT TO EXPLAIN WHY???
YOU WILL HAVE TO DRAG BILLY HARGROVE AWAY FROM JOE KEERY’S COLD DEAD HANDS, that man has been on the frontline since 2017, watch the antis trying to cancel him again now LMAOOO
“He is the most human of them all” I WILL CRY STOP IT
mickey milkovich and billy are the same character to me and people who LOOOOOOVE mickey and hate on billy are weird lol like sorry mickey said and did a lot more worse things than billy ever did
Excerpted from the poem Hand Me Downs by Sarah Kay
read below the cut
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I know you’ve taken to wearing around your father’s hand-me-down anger. But I wish that you wouldn’t. It’s a few sizes too big and everyone can see it doesn’t fit you, makes you look silly, hangs loose at all the wrong places, even if it does match your skin colour.
I know you think you’ll grow into it, that your arms will beef up after all the fighting and it will sit on your shoulders if you pin it on the right places with well-placed conviction. The bathroom mirror tells you you look good in it, that it makes your fists look a lot more justified, when you dig your hands deep into the pockets you’ll find stories hidden he left there for you to hand out to the other boys like car bombs.
And on days when everything else is slipping through your fingers, this you can wrap yourself inside of, this will keep you warm at night, help you drift off to sleep with a certainty that no matter what, it will still be there when you wake up. And the longer you wear it, the better it starts to fit, until some of the stories are your own. Maybe the holes in the sleeve are from the bullets you dodged yourself, so when it rips, snags on a barbed wire fence or someone else’s family, don’t worry. Cos your mother and your sister will help mend it- patch the holes, sew the tears, replace a button or two, help you back into it and tell you how proud they are of you, how good it looks on you the same way it looked on your dad, and your granddad too, and on his dad before him and on his father before him.
But back then, back then there was only sand until someone drew a line, someone built a wall, someone threw a stone. And the crack in the skull that it hit fractured perfectly outward, like twigs on the branches on the limbs of a family tree. So someone threw a stone back, and each fracture, each tiny break wound itself together into thread and the thread pulled itself around him- your great-great-great-great somebody.
And on the other side of that wall they were knitting just as fast, and theirs fit them just as well but only slightly different shade. So I’m asking, when the time comes, who’s gonna be the first one to put down the needle and thread? Who’s gonna be the first one to remember that their grandpa suffered just as many broken windows, broken hearts, broken bones, in the first time you come down to dinner and your son is sitting at the dining table with your hatred on his shoulders, who’s gonna tell him it’s finally time to take it off?
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I LOVE the idea of Max being the one who helps everyone through coming out in the group for many reasons. We already see him (I hc Max as a trans guy) canonically guiding Jane through having 'normal teenage/kid experiences' (though he doesn't do a perfect job bc ofc not, his life is screwy as well-) but also- Max grew up in Cali! Not only that but he went to skateparks and no doubt the beach bc of Billy having to watch him and take him places- Also- HE HAD BILLY! Billy who is so SO deeply gay and was SO repressed and forced to put on the womaniser act as a TEENAGER- I don't care what anyone says, that boy is gay.
So not only via coming out and having to tell Lucas that 'Yeah so actually I'm not a girl and I don't wanna be your girlfriend, you've got a boyfriend now- Or like whatever- If you don't like me anymore then fucking fine-' only for him to cut Max off and be like 'Girl or boy I don't care- I like YOU' and while he doesn't know the word bi until Max tells him about it and that he is bi too- He already knew what being trans is because of Mike (yeah fuck y'all I hc Mike as trans too-) and this leads to Max and Mike finally becoming a little more friendly as having that connection point gives them something to talk about. And as Max gets closer to Mike he begins to clock that Mike isn't just a dick (though he is still being one) to Jane because 'oh he's a teenage boy who is an ass-' but because he doesn't like Jane in that way AND doesn't know what the fuck he is doing and is simply doing what he has been taught is what is expected and necessary to be considered a man. And he also clocks that Mike seems to be lingering with Will quite a bit- And he of course clocked Will's feelings for Mike REAL EARLY because jesus christ is it obvious- And him and Lucas (who also saw what was going on between the two since they were all kids-) talk about it with such an air of 'How the hell are these two so fucking blind?' and eventually Dustin gets brought into that conversation as well once Jane and Mike break up and he begins to see that Mike DEFINITELY likes Will in return.
Jane also questions her identity too, they're pretty sure they aren't a guy, but she doesn't really like being called a girl either and although Max doesn't know if there is a word for it (initially anyway) he remembers one of the 'guys' Billy hung out with at the beach in Cali who wore their hair long and wore makeup and who one time gave him an old jacket of theirs and gave him that look of 'I know what you are, idk if you know yet or not, but I know, I get it, you're safe, here you go have this'. And he does as much research as he can (which is not much considering they are in fucking buck-fuck Indiana, but once him and Billy get closer and he asks Billy about that old friend Billy decides to sneak Max and Jane (with Steve and Robin tagging along) to an underground club in Indianapolis and Jane figures out that she is 'non-binary' and likes to use she and they pronouns. They also don't really care what someone's gender is in terms of being attracted to them, and also realises she has absolutely zero interest in sex.
Steve had initially tagged along to the club with them as additional chaperons bc no way were two afab 15 yr olds going to an underground club in a big city with only one supervisor- And of course Robin heard where they were going and immediately inserted herself and tagged along too, plus she has been seeing what's going on between Billy and Steve (has spoken with Billy about it though he denies that Steve would ever return his feelings and has tried to hint at it to Steve-who is of course blind). BUT at the club Steve begins to have some very hot feelings in him as he gets hit on by a variety of people, and although he doesn't notice Billy getting even more barky than usual (toooootally not jealous) he does end up just having a moment where he goes 'Oh. Ohhhhhhhhhh- Fuck.' and he looks to Robin, then to Billy, then to Max and Jane, then to Billy, and he figures out his own shit at least. Max just mouths the word bisexual at him across the crowd when he looks like he's searching for what this makes him.
I could keep going but I am tired- I also hc Nancy as bi, Jonathan is either pan or unlabeled and some sort of gender-fluid or agender or someshit, and Eddie is also trans ftm & gay. If anyone wants to expand on connecting those in feel free. (Also Joyce is bi and has definitely slept predominantly with women and Bob-WHO IS ALIVE BECAUSE FUCK YOU HE SHOULDN'T HAVE DIED AND HOPPER SUCKS, ACAB-100% just shrugs and offers to open their relationship when she mentions this. She isn't interested in anyone other than him currently and doesn't forsee that happening but appreciates the offer nonetheless).
The most unfunny, repetitive, and boring "joke" mha fans has made is this:
"Bakugou's biggest trauma is the river hahaha"
Meanwhile: 1. The kid got assaulted and choked to death while everyone was laughing/filming and pro heros were just watching, 2. he got humiliated on national TV and was treated like an animal, 3. he was kidnapped by the most dangerous villain group of the country where adults were trying to brainwash him into joining them, 4. After he was saved, he got zero emotional comfort and instead got victim blamed by literally everyone SPECIALLY his own mother, 5. Blamed himself for ending his idol's career, 5. Got impaled and almost died, 6. Was mentally and physically tortured by the most vicious man alive, 7. LITERALLY DIED while he was alone and none of his friends were there, 8. The moment he woke up he was immediately sent back to fight like he's a weapon and was faced with what? His idol getting ripped in half, 9. He was told it's better to sever his arm because he may never be able to move it again, 10. Couldn't even use his arm or quirk for years
It all happened in ONE Year and he got NO emotional comfort from anyone. In mha, characters get crying ceremonies for less.... But ofc, in Shonen fans' pov, trauma doesn't count if it hasn't happened before the age of 10 or if it's sth they can't relate to🙄
Mike asking Will to just talk to him about literally anything at the end of a rough day because the sound of his voice is enough to calm him and raise his serotonin levels
Turning off reblogs for this because I KNOW I will be attacked for what I'm gonna say but...
If you don't want to love them? That isn't love. I can't tell you what it is, could be limerance, could be obsession, could be a crush, could be some other shit idk- But it isn't actual love... Love can be difficult and hard and upsetting and you can the situation, hell they can do something you disagree with and even hate- But if you ACTUALLY hate or dislike them as a person (whether earned or not), if you WANT to hate them or dislike them or even just simply not love them- Then what you feel for them IS NOT LOVE.
You CHOOSE to love someone truly and unconditionally. Falling for someone may not be a choice, but continuing to love them IS always a choice, so if what you are feeling is TRULY not something you want to feel, then it is not actual love and you need to re-evaluate.
Okay but like what if I got orange and green stars or explosions tattooed on my palms? Like- What then?
Edit: What if when I get top surgery one day I get Izuku's greenish blackwhip tattooed over the scars with Katsuki's orange (maybe the rainbow ones?) explosions along them?
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