shattered & bloody

Severus was still shaken - not over the discovery, or even the implications of it ( though those were present, drifting hazily beneath the surface of his thoughts, black and bulbous with poisoned reality like gorged leeches simply awaiting the proper moment to let loose their bile ) - but rather, by the events that followed. 

Dumbledore vowing him into silence before he could even process how questionable it was, before he could stop and consider the legality of the demand, mind still reeling from events. Potter being praised for his heroism as Black got the Gryffindor equivalent of a slap on the wrist. Mulciber cornering him the morning after to confront the escapade - 

It was all too much, and he honestly felt he would need at least a week to properly process where to direct his rage once it fully unleashed itself. Currently, he existed in a conditioned haze of numbness, focusing only on a project, and occasionally on homework. If he had been asked to account for the past few days, his report would have been correct only at the barest of glances - the school schedule, after all, had not changed despite the way the world was spinning. 

That the Marauders had been blessedly silent aided in his distraction - but the time of peaceful numbness was at its end. Seeing Remus crossing the hall to get to him, Severus felt like he woke up for the first time in days. 

His shoulders stiffened and his gaze immediately took to checking alcoves and other potential areas in case of ambush, but he didn’t bolt - though some part of his mind insisted he should at least take hold of his wand, the fact that Lupin was clearly alone was not missed either. 

Had he come with anyone else - even Pettigrew - Severus would have fled. As it was, he eyed the other silently a moment, before jerking his head to the left, indicating a hall that lead off to various empty classrooms often used for study halls. 

“I doubt what you have to say is anything you wan’t overheard,” He remarked by way of explanation, tone surprisingly lacking in its usual venomous bite. He didn’t wait for an answer - either Lupin would follow or this didn’t matter as much to him as his nervous demeanor seemed to indicate. 

Drawing into an empty room, Severus set his books into his bag and crossed his arms. He wasn’t about to make this easy, at least, not yet. He needed to know where Lupin stood, first.

Needed to know if he’d been in on the little prank or not…and whether his nerves were out of realizing how poorly things could have gone, or just self preservation in the face of the fact Severus had the unmitigated gall to survive. 

Remus noticed, of course, the way Severus’ gaze shifted, how he seemed to expect or at least worry that someone else might be around, and he couldn’t quite stop a pained expression from showing on his face, just for a second. Still, his voice was calm, and Remus could only hope, pray that was a good thing.

After all, it appeared as though he was allowed to explain, in privacy even.

Almost tripping over his own feet, Remus followed quickly, determined to do this right. Once inside the room, he closed the door behind him, then moved away from it; the last thing he needed or wanted was Severus thinking he’d try to block the door and keep the other there. His arms wrapped around his upper body, almost as though he were trying to hug himself, and as he pressed against the wound from that night a little bit too much, he flinched slightly.

“I – I wanted to say I’m so sorry.” He struggled with the words, fear taking over and his entire body trembling. But once they were out, more followed immediately.

It was only when he was actually approaching Severus Snape that Remus realized he wasn’t entirely sure what exactly it was that he was doing here or how he was going to attempt to have this conversation. He’d made the decision the second he had found out what had happened, then assumed it would make more sense to give the other student a few days time; after all, Severus would be confronted with someone who, even if unwillingly, had almost killed him.

“Hey.”

He felt horrible as he came face to face with the Slytherin. There was this little voice inside his mind that told him what he was doing here was wrong, even though Remus was painfully aware of how necessary it was. And yet that knowledge didn’t change anything about the fear in his eyes, the way his body seemed to be trying to make itself as small as possible. His voice that was close to breaking.

❝ Sorry Moony. ❞ James sad sheepishly as the two went off to talk in the corner of the hallway. 

  ❝Well you have quite literally always been the responsible marauder but I didn’t finish the last of my charms homework. Could I pretty please copy off of yours? I’ll make it up to you I promise. ❞ Was james going to? Probably, but at this point he owed Remus so much it would take him years to pay back. 

The expression of amusement disappeared the second James spoke the word ‘homework’. Remus’s eyes widened and his mouth dropped open slightly, forming a little o as he stopped in the middle of a step.

Bad enough that everyone knew he was Remus Lupin’s kid. War hero legacies and what not. Worse is that he’s got Defense Against the Dark Arts with the Slytherins, and though he’s sure that they wouldn’t pull anything while his dad was in the room, there was a big part he was dreading it when he had received his schedule. He’s in his fifth year, and while of course he was incredibly proud of his dad (at home), school was a whole other matter.

He was well-liked, easy to get along with, and - much like his father, had a penchant for getting into mischief.

Still, when he’s too busy enchanting a paper plane with details on it and everything and doesn’t hear his father call on him until the second time, where his plane does a nosedive into the back of one of his friend’s head, Teddy looks up, giving him a blank stare.

           “- …Can you repeat that?”

@wolfslayed​

Remus is aware, of course, that it can be rather awkward to be stuck in a class taught by your own father or even just attending the school where your father teaches. He tries to not make it worse, to find the balance between being a father and being a teacher in a way that hopefully makes none of them uncomfortable.

Which maybe should have been a good reason for Remus to not call on him.

And yet, when Teddy was so clearly not listening, he can’t quite help the fond smile that appears on his lips, especially when he spots the paper plane that he chooses to ignore and that reminds him so much of his own time as a student at Hogwarts.

@wolfslayed· starter for James  & Remus 

“Moony!” James called out as he raced down the great hall towards the staircase where he saw his best friend and fellow marauder Remus walking to class. James, per usual was running late to class, and also per usual he hadn’t finished the rest of his homework so he needed to somehow copy some of Moony’s work to turn in. 

“Oh thank god I finally caught up with you. Don’t kill me but I need you to save me again.” 

“Fuck, Prongs!” Remus had actually flinched at his friend’s call, since he hadn’t expected it at all. Shaking his head, he laughed quietly though and then turned to look at James, one eyebrow raised.

@kindheartted asked: “ You know why I came. ” / Elisabeth das Musical.

“I’m not entirely sure I do know, but I can make an educated guess.”

Remus felt like a teenager all over again, like an awkward boy who had his first crush and was thrown into a slightly uncomfortable first meeting with the parents. The only difference here was that he was a grown up man by now and this wasn’t about a simple crush. It also wasn’t helping that he had roughly the same experience at this as a 16 year old boy, which made for the worst possible circumstances he could imagine.