Caster extraordinaire

what if it was called magic the slathering and it was about lotions and ointments

hopefully i'll get to do something other than endure soon. that would be really nice

you WISH the weather was just The Flaming Skull again. bet those torturous days of hot agony are starting to seem pre~tty nostalgiK now that you have Erupting Volcano God for a week straight. but hey! just think of it this way- things will get so much worse that one day you'll long for these days! these terrible terrible days.

hey.. two people were asking about you… so i gave them your address and phone number… their names were Skeletal Warrior and Skeletal Ice Mage

they used to do nothing to me back in the morally neutral lab. it sucked

you were the control

fuuuuck what were they doing to the other folks #fomo

duuuuuude you have GOT to come out tonight we're enacting cruelty upon those who have transgressed so badly that we can justify any act against them... and you KNOW we're interpreting our delight as moral righteousness... Yeah it's fucking crazyyyyyyy get an Uber

it’s never a normal temperature anymore it’s always some fucking bullshit

Touch the lion And see Who is jealous of you?

Not many know this, but elves are actually bulletproof. The only way to bypass this is to speed up the bullet with a gun

Was at the market earlier and a dude incorrectly knightsplained the difference between a wyrm and a wyvrn to me for like 15 minutes

if you see hardware on yhe ground like a washer or a hex nut you have to pick it up because it’s lonely and scared. if you see any metal on the ground you have to pick it up because it’s alone and scared and lonely.

Can you stop jacking off? I'm trying to explore your bloodstream in a tiny submarine here, jackass.

maybe the ice mummy is tired of having to be strong. did you ever think of that