tommy

HEY BABY COME OVER HERE AND GIVE ME A BIG KISS

[Image ID: The Destiel confession meme edited so that Dean answers 'JK Rowling posted upskirt photos of a woman on Twitter' to Cas 'I love you'. /End ID]

No one doing this should be allowed to call themselves a feminist.

at first, emily flat out refuses. it would be impossible, irresponsible and counter productive. she'd say that they need to focus on spencer's case, on getting him out of there.

then spencer would ask again. and again. and again. and after two months of stubbornness, emily would entertain the idea. she doesn't even know how she'd get in touch with him but spencer begs her to try.

after penelope does some questionable things, emily manages to set up a near perfect plan. aaron goes to a payphone in the town over, at exactly three fifteen in the afternoon and gets inside. he has no idea what he's doing here, why prentiss was so insisent but it must be something important to risk his saftey for.

when the phone rings, aaron is immediately on edge. when he picks up the phone and hears the call message from a prison, his stomach drops through his shoes. and when he hears the one voice he's longed for, the one voice he's wished for, the voice that sings to his soul, when he hears that voice whisper 'aaron?' his heart stops.

they'd been fighting the night before aaron went into witsec. a big fight about their futures, about homes and marriage and commitment. spencer wanted a nice house and the whole nine yards but aaron was worried he isn't enough for him. so they fought and spencer stormed out. the next day, he came back and aaron and jack were gone.

aaron's crying before he knows it. spencer is sobbing right there with him. the distance between them greater than what their hearts can handle. a pain so heavy it sinks them through the floor.

spencer can't saying anything but aaron's name. can't get his heart to work with him. he's wanted this call for months and now that it's here, all his words fail him.

he wants to tell aaron that he's sorry, that he messed up, not just in mexico but with that fight. he wants to tell aaron that he loves him, that he loves him more than he can handle, more than his heart can carry. he wants to ask about jack, about school, and the case and how aaron is doing.

but he can't. it wouldn't be fair. because when they have to hang up, aaron will drive back home by himself and sit in the silence of his absence. and spencer will have to go back to his cell and try to not lose his mind. there'll be no comfort, no solace.

so he doesn't say anything. he sits there on the phone, crying as he listens to aaron do the same. and if he closes his eyes, he can almost imagine that the tears are from a silly romcom playing on the tv, lounging on the couch with his head in aaron's lap, aaron's fingers playing with his curls, sunlight streaming through the windows, coffee cups empty on the table, slow and syrup sleepy. so happy and so beautiful.

hotchreid boyfriends and the hug when aaron comes home for a tough case in court. as big and broad as aaron is, he loves to tuck himself into spencers arms, burrowing deep into his warmth, the heaviness of the case bleeding out of his body as spencer fills him with light. he was only in court to testify for a case but the weight of it sat with him. as soon as he is in spencers arms, he feels so much better.

hotchreid boyfriends where spencer, exhausted from an endless day at work, crowds aaron in his office and drops into a much needed hug. aaron isn't expecting it but he welcomes it nonetheless. case work is tough and exhausting, and spencer always pushes himself too far but he knows that aaron can always make him feel better again.

im talking about big, wooly jerseys, jackets with fur lined inside, that three quarter aaron always wears, and sometimes even aarons polos.

spencer loves the way aarons cologne clings to his clothes, something light and pleasant, and something distinctly aaron. under all of that. he loves to bathe himself in his scent, loves that it feels like aaron is wrapped around him.

he wears aarons george washington law hoodie literally all the time. he wears aarons big jersey when it starts getting super cold outside. he wears aarons ties to work when he wants to tease him. he knows how much aaron loves seeing him in his clothes. it's both a little bit of a possessive thing but also a reassurance.

like hotchreid boyfriends where we know how explosive spencer's anger is. he gets all up in people's faces, he's cheeky, he's sharp, frustrated and uses his words like a weapon. when you threaten someone he cares about, he comes out guns blazing, mind sharper than a blade.

the unsub that took aaron doesn't stand a chance against spencer. almost to his detriment, spencer would stay up for days, pouring over case files, triple checking maps, following every single lead until something, anything, gets the love of his life back to him. he'd be relentless. fueled by anger, fear and coffee.

under all of that, he'd be terrified. consumed by constant worry, heartache and fear. there wouldn't be a moment that he can catch his breath. but spencer wouldn't stop. not until he brings aaron back.

meanwhile, aaron would be so unemotional it would be terrifying. is he scared? of course. is his heart racing, hands restless, skin itching with the need to have spencer back in his arms? of course. but he's the team leader, he's their unit chief. he can't lose control. he can't let himself fall apart. so he keeps it together. he follows leads, he listens to the team, he keeps everything under control. if he's a little sharper with everyone, no one calls himself out on it.

that is, until spencer gets taken and it's all bets off. on the surface, aaron keeps his composure but he's already got plans to storm the scene alone. to face this himself, to bring spencer back with his bare hands.

hotchreid being held at gun point would be so so devastating and heartbreaking especially if in that moment, aaron thinks of their last fight. he thinks of the last moment him and spencer argued about something. it was last week, in the middle of dinner, at their favourite restaurant. spencer brought up moving in together and aaron felt so afraid he couldn't breathe, couldn't think, couldn't imagine a life so beautiful, couldn't imagine that he deserved it. so he pushed back, calm quiet and controlled. and spencer got quiet, his face visibly upset, lost, confused.

with a gun pressed to his temple, aaron thinks of that moment and feels regret fill him to the brim, choke and burn him from the inside out. he wants to say something but he can't trust that the unsubs will let him. he wants to tell spencer that he's never felt safer, warmer, more loved and more cared for than when he's with spencer. he wants nothing more than to buy a house with him, to sit on their couch, read plays, listen to jazz, laugh and spend every moment of his life with him.

but he can't. he can't let himself lose focus. he can't let the unsubs see his weaknesses. he needs to get them out of here, to get spencer out of here so that they can build that beautiful life together.

meanwhile, spencer on the other hand would feel devastated and frozen in place for different reasons. he's thinking of last night, of when aaron fell asleep on his couch in the middle of a movie. he thinks of bending his body towards aaron, tucking himself close and tight, seeing how soft and warm he looks, how safe he must feel to fall asleep around him especially when aaron is always on guard. seeing him so comfortable fills spencer when so much tender love, he can't help but whisper i love you. in the morning he knows that aaron didn't hear him.

and in the moment, with a gun to his head, spencer thinks of it now, thinks of how aaron doesn't know, doesn't know how much spencer loves him. the words sit on the tip of his tongue, desperate and afraid. spencer wants to say them but knows that he can't. he can't trust the unsubs to not revel in killing him. he wants to tell aaron that he loves the gentle curve of his smile, the lightness of his chuckle, the light in his eyes when he talks about the things that he loves, that he loves him in his heart and soul.

but he can't say any of that.

then with spencer the jealousy lives in the furnace of his heart, a living breathing thing that burns every time haley joins them for a team night out, every time hotch speaks about her on the jet, every time he rushes home to the arms of the woman who's always loved him. the feeling burns and burns, blood boiling under his cheeks, colouring him with shame. he knows it's unfair, knows that he has no right to feel this way but he can't help it.

he can't help it when hotch brushes past him and holds his waist. can't help it when aaron brings him coffee in the mornings. can't help it when they sit close on the jet, in the conference room, in the breakroom. can't help but think of when aaron slammed his hand against his chest and pushed him back into his seat as the car swerved in the middle of a chase with an unsub. hotch's fingers dug into his shirt, nails pressing into his chest. spencer wore those indents like a brand.

and with aaron he can't help the little things he does, the itch under his skin to have reid in his hands, to hold him close and keep him pressed against his chest.