it's your friendly neighborhood strider

disabled ppl we need to start lying to nosy people okay? you tell me i'm too young to need a cane and i will tell you point blank that maybe you should tell that to the guy who ran me over. you don't get an explanation of my health issues you get lies and depending on how much of an asshole i want to be that lie will be anything from a humble car crash to a 1 billion lions attack. mind yr business.

"i could never live like that" well maybe you'll have to because this happened overnight. yeah you heard me i was the most able bodied man in the world but then one morning bam i woke up disabled. yeah you could have that too. there's no cure either you'll just wake up one morning and now you have to live like me

"what happened" well have you ever seen looney tunes? yeah an anvil landed on me and squished me flat.

you're in her DMs i'm eating her dog's pain pills

Ok but pls actually do this people. There is no such thing as a good person. Stop trying to be one and starting trying to do good instead

“you talk like a smart/pretentious person” actually I just forget simple words constantly and am forced to rummage through my brain for the nearest synonym, which is usually twice as long and needlessly specific

idont remmeber what the rest of the post was going to say. use your impregnation i dont care

you get what i mean.

$0

Piracy is a “victimless crime”? Idk i was kinda hoping there would be a victim. I want the mouse dead

so sad forever twitter killed bot api thing because fiskbot has been like crucial to my grammar vocabulary essence development

Contemporary art haters will be like "i don't get it" and then not read the title or artist statement or the medium or the year or

ive invented (note: dubious claim) something i call the bear diet which is mostly fruits and vegetables with fish as the main protein source and something like once a month you eat a few hyperprocessed foods of your liking because that is when you, the bear, raid a dumpster in the suburbs

after the hyperprocessed foods, do you take tranquilizers to simulate getting captured by animal control and returned to the wild?

i would settle for melatonin gummies but well. knock yourself out