Dear Yensi
Here's the part where I write it out in hopes of letting it go.
I'm glad we got to talk. It really meant a lot. And it was very positive. I liked the way we were talking to each other. The last couple of times we tired it never really went well. It always felt forced and then next day it was as if nothing had happened, we get to begin again and then that lasts a month and then 4 to 5 months of silence awkward encounters. Well here we are again only this time i think we both grew a little bit more.
Like i mentioned im quite glad. It feels different somehow. But there are some things that will take some getting used to. Like the fact that i know you're with someone else. You see i thought i was doing pretty good but I guess you are never really ready for that. And my chest has felt heavier ever since. I know you noticed but i don't want you to feel bad. Please not for me. You wanted your freedom and you are allowed to see where it takes you. For me its the same. We all deserve a chance.
Ive been thinking alot these days and about the heaviness in my chest and you know what I've come to terms with. Ive come to terms that if you love something you let it go (which i did) and if it comes back to you then its yours (which it did) maybe not in the way some people imagine it but here you are again. Here we are in our weird little thread. I need to admit something and that's what im coming to the terms with is, that i will always love you. Not for the face not for the body but for the mind, the eyes and ultimately the soul i got to hold. They said if you love something you have to let it known. And yes i love you. And im gonna put it out here in the world for the hope that maybe by just doing that a little of positivity comes my way. Im in no rush but id rather accept than fight you off. I dont know where life is gonna be in 6 months but for now this is what im feeling and this is what im missing. We all cope with things in our way. This is mine.
Love
Cawie
