cocks ahoy

Being obsessed with something that isn't a fictional piece of media is so weird. I remembered the existence of sea angels and thought "i miss her so bad, frows up" as I would for a video game character

*giggles and twirls my hair* so there's this girl who's less than an inch in length and resides in cold and temperate waters from the surface to 2,000 feet deep, also she's a predator that feeds exclusively on sea butterflies. yeah, her name is clione limacina

Medication is so annoying. I don’t want to get up so I can take more ibuprofen because the cramps are starting up. I want to take 100 pills of Tylenol and 100 pills of Motrin at the beginning of any given cycle and then be good for like three months. Or one month! Or one week! It doesn’t have to be an efficient usage of the medication if it means I don’t have to think about it at all for a bit. That would be nice. But unfortunately this kills you. Yet another example of how the science engages in a constant conspiracy to make you get up out of bed just when the nap was getting good.

washing dishes is evil because you go "oh fuck there's so many dishes this is gonna take foreverrr" and then you enter the dish abyss and emerge with your abdomen somehow covered in water and your hands all wrinky and then you look at the clock and what felt like half an hour was actually 10 minutes

symbolism list because i'm a nerd: - the turtle represents longevity, protection and wisdom, telling us how long lesbians have been fighting and making themselves heard, especially for queer people who were silenced; - sea green symbolizes stability, calm and serenity; - argent (silver) represents honour and virtuosity; - the copper in the helmet and trims invoke the goddess Aphrodite, and is in itself a durable metal which lasts for hundreds of years, representing vitaliity; - the seashell is there to represent eternity, and its life of resiliance against the waves that push it around; - the arrow announces readiness for battle, and when two are crossed, they represent peace, friendship and alliance;

"all trillionaires and millionaires" you guys do not understand what "ultra wealthy" means. you are talking about anyone in california who owns a house that is not actively falling down

was having a complaining competition with my friend about how even liberal environments don't seem to be able to process gay relationships when you're both pretty feminine and always default to thinking you're just friends and then she whips out "when me and [wife] checked into the honeymoon suite after our wedding reception, still in our white dresses, the hotel clerk went 'you know it's only one bed, right?'"

a lot of people don’t tell you this when you’re starting to remodel your own home but occasionally under the floorboards you’ll find the entrance to an unimaginably sprawling and vast complex of underground lakes connected to each other through intricate networks of tunnels where suburbanite mermaids have set up mermaid strip malls with mermaid verizon, mermaid driving school, the mermaid liquor store, and so on. and many people will think this is a plumbing issue, but it’s actually a zoning problem

*pulls out cock*

*licks it*

*shivers* *grabs the back of your head* kitten.. grab the among us stim toy