Random thoughts and pointless ponderings

Here's two I did recently. Nothing impressive but I'm glad I've got the interest to do it again. These were both free hand with just ink (magic marker/ink pen and paper).

Now for something a bit more different. I usually don' t share my dreams but this one hit me different. A little back story: I have dreams about animals and people that "have passed"... ie: they are dead. I walk through areas with random people talking in small groups but I don't talk to people, I find the animals that are in their "state of death". I reach down and pet them and they wake up in their former form before their passing. I usually stick around and give them attention and love on them while any nearby groups just stare at me like I'm doing something unheard of. Maybe I am? Who knows. Anyway, fast forward to my dream the night before last: Instead of being in an area of light, it was full of shadows with small rays of light coming from somewhere. I slowly walked and I came upon a man standing in the shadow with dim light behind him. When I noticed him, what I could tell by the light behind him, he was wearing some type of long tunic, tenebra or kilt. I wasn't certain, he was in shadow. I couldn't make out his face or really discern what he was wearing but he looked at me and said something that sounded like "Mosheen". I woke up immediately after that and laid in the dark of my room hearing his voice. I went to work but it was driving me nuts, what did this man say to me? I have absolutely NO idea what language it is but I have a general idea what it sounds like so I did a google search of "endearments that sound like 'mosheen'". Google gave me some direction but it may have been Gaelic for "my treasure". I have absolutely NO idea where that come from because there's one thing I know and it's I have zero knowledge of Gaelic. I know English and a little Spanish, that's it. Dreams are freaking wild. Was this an actual person? Was I really somewhere "in between"? Did I accidently wake someone up being there? Was it someone I used to know in a previous life? Or do I just have some wild ass dreams? This is going to be something I'm going to be mentally chewing on for a while.

Just a collection of screen shots from my game play. Nothing major to report game wise. Decided to copy the save to have separate romantic options with one for Kaidan and second for Gore. I've completed Kaidan's quests and it's all well and good but I was curious about Gore's. Surprisingly, it's short but sweet... a wholesome awkward and I like it. In fact, I almost prefer it to the over the top ovations. Actions speak louder than words. As a bonus, Gore is very well written and the mod author updates him regularly when time allows for it. I even donated so I could have my character's name added to the list of names used by Gore when addressing the player. Why not? Show some love and appreciation to the mod authors, they work hard on what they create. Their time is worth something, is it not? I believe in donating something when I can to the mod authors when I can. One hand washes the other, if you catch the meaning. Anywhooo... I need to get ready for work. Woke up at 4:00 am and couldn't fall back to sleep. Between my anxiety, seasonal depression, CPTSD and real world stressors... it's kind of difficult to sleep well when you recognize what's going on. Be vigilant, be strong, be well and most of all be kind to yourselves.

And before I forget: Happy New Year to you all. May you be well and your heart full and most importantly, be kind to yourself.

Happy Yule to all~ or happy holidays, if you wish ~I haven't really done any decorating in my home this year. I have been fighting off a few mental demons and it's taking all the spoons that I would use for the effort to dig everything out and put it up. I just don't feel like it. The spirit is there, the decorations are not. I've noticed many of the folks I talk to at work are feeling the same, this has not been an easy year. I can only hope and manifest that it will be much better for us all soon. The struggle bus and shit show has to stop eventually. Anywhooooo.... I've been playing Skyrim to fill my time. I tried a few collections on Nexus. They weren't quite right for me but there were some features I did like so I took what I wanted from them and have been slowly cultivating my own mod list. So far, I'm really liking what I've got together but I think I want to add a little more. Trying other people's mod collections has given me a chance to try new stuff, honestly that is a good thing. Stuff can get stagnant. I'm focusing on community shaders and parallax so I have to be mindful what I add with them. I know I want to find the grass mod I was using before, I liked it better but then I'll have to run the PGpatcher and Dyndolod again... I have to admit, it took my embarrassingly much longer than it should have to get Dyndolod to work and silly simple once I figured it out. It's still a fiddly program though but useful. I do need to find a good "camera mode" mod for the game. I haven't found one I like-not a priority but what evs. I've babbled enough. Take care and be kind to yourselves .

Playing with fairies in game, my impression: They are pretty to look at and each one is different. Their skills aren't as fun as a witches, however. So I basically play with a pretty flying sim that's it. Do I like fairies? Yes. Do I wish they were a little more for the skills? Maybe, I don't recall using the skills all too often when I played Sims 3, to be honest. What I'm glad they didn't include was the sound the wings made, that used to annoy me while playing so I'm glad these are just pretty wings. All in all, I will give it more time with the fairy skills in Sims 4. At least they didn't get done dirty like the mermaids-The team needs to patch skill trees in for them.

Anyway, that's it and Iliana is my new muse and inspiration on playing again.