wilt3d_r0zes

This is so–

fucked.

Here William is, sitting in the waiting room of the hospital. Again. Norah’s in surgery, injured on another one of his stupid mysteries that he can’t help but drag them on. All he can do, hunching over in a plastic chair that digs into his spine, is pray to a god he’s sure had long since abandoned them, and beg for her to be alright. 

He feels like the spiral he’d barrelled down was warranted. They have so far to go still ahead of them, and yet so much has happened already. He’s fucked up time and time again on this hunt and he knows, somewhere painful and deep in his chest, that he’s going to get his friends killed. 

He let Isaac separate from the group, knowing how that always seemed to go. And then he was nearly sacrificed, carved open like an animal by the bleeding, mangled corpse of his own father. Alone, in the woods, his friends– the people who should’ve been there for him, who should’ve gone looking for him the minute he didn’t sneak back out to join them– not even aware he was missing.

(“Holy shit,” Isaac’s throat sounds raw, like he’d been screaming for help for hours. It sends chills down William’s spine, and the guilt already churning in his stomach tripled. How long has he been here? How long has he been begging for them to show up and save him? “I thought you were never gonna come– I thought I was gonna– I thought I was gonna die.”)

Alone for so long that he thought they’d never find him. He’d been there for hours, hanging from that tree in the middle of winter. He thought they’d leave him there to be carved open like a Thanksgiving turkey.

And then he did the same fucking thing all over again to Norah. They keep splitting up, like they thought the outcome of doing it would change. Like they think going off alone when a monster’s in town isn’t going to inevitably end in disaster. 

(It’s impossible not to notice the blood. The glaring white snow that’d fallen over Deadwood was stained a vibrant red here. Bloody, dragging footprints lead deep into the forest, melting into the shadows. At the edge of the trail, lies Norah Fleetwood. Her clothes are soaked through with melted snow, twigs and leaves embedded in the fabric and caught up in her hair. 

Her leg is twisted beyond recognition.)

Yet, despite all of the evidence that’s being shoved in his face that they shouldn’t split up under any circumstances, not even for their own family, he’d let Lui and Isaac go off on their own. They all agreed they shouldn’t split up again, but he refuses to leave the hospital, and they needed that salt. 

He can’t stop thinking of all the ways things could go wrong with them. All the ways they could die out in Deadwood’s godforsaken streets.

“Honey?” His mom’s hand lands on his knee. It should’ve been comforting. The touch is gentle, paired with her accented, worried voice. It should’ve helped ground him to reality, should’ve reminded him that he was spiraling and helped him snap out of it. 

Instead, it made him flinch back. His knee jerks, twisting at an odd angle to get away from the touch. His elbow rams into the back of the plastic chair, pain singing up the bone, all the way out to his fingertips. His eyes dart around in a flurry, taking in everyone else lingering in the room and the nurses beyond the glass. He took in his mom, looking for any signs that she isn’t what she seems, that something is wrong.

He feels dizzy.

Somewhere– distant, overshadowed by the constant stream of panicked thoughts that wouldn’t shut up– it occurs to him that he’s hyperventilating, but he can’t stop. There’s something about the rapid inhale-exhale that’s… not calming, but more like if he stops he’ll fall apart. It’s all that’s keeping him together, while simultaneously being exactly what’s ripping him apart.

Fuck, he can’t breathe. There isn’t enough air. His chest hurts.

Familiar, calloused fingers grab his clammy ones, pulling them away from the death grip they had on his biceps. He can hear his name being said, over and over again, his mother begging him to calm down. With his hands in hers, he can feel how badly they’re shaking, potent tremors wracking through him. 

With the awareness of his own body being forced over him, he realizes he’s hot. The waiting room had been cold when they’d walked in, enough that he’d not stopped shivering from the transition indoors, but now the heat is suffocating. “Honey, you need to breathe.”

His mom is still holding his hands, despite the way he can’t stop fighting her grip. A pathetic, animalistic keen rolls out of his throat. Tears burn in his eyes, blurring the room in front of him. He can’t see anything wrong with his mom, but can he trust that? Can he trust his mind to be telling the truth? 

“I–” he swallows thickly, choking on his own words. “I can’t–”

“You’re havin’ a panic attack, sweetheart. You need to take a breather,” Mom soothes, rubbing her thumb on his skin in soft, repetitive patterns. He can feel the familiar wrinkles in her skin, all her scars from a well lived life. He wants it to be calming so, so badly. “C’mon, now. Breathe in, then out.”

 William ducks his head, neck twinging in response to the sharp motion. He can’t stop sucking in desperate, wheezing breaths like there isn’t any air left in the world. He’s starting to wonder if, maybe, Mr. Abrahams has done something to him. Is this just a panic attack, or is it something worse?

(“Stop breathing.”

William hadn’t been aware of Lui’s breathing until it stopped. And now it’s the only thing he can hear, in spite of his own panicked yelling bouncing off Norah’s and filling the room with fear.)

“‘M sorry,” he gasps, fumbling to spit words from his dry mouth. “‘m sorry, ‘m sorry, ‘m sorry.” The pleas, the begs for forgiveness won’t stop tumbling out of his mouth. Now that he’s started, he can’t stop, words running into each other and turning into mush, fighting for space between his frantic breaths.

William doesn’t even know what he’s sorry for. Is it for always worrying his parents? Is it for letting Norah and Isaac go off alone without looking for them? Is it for letting Norah almost kill herself? For making Isaac go to that church alone? For walking away and leaving Lui in the hands of a man who could mind control him? Maybe it’s just for dragging them all into this fucking mess, all of his messes, over and over again.

“Honey. Honey, it’s okay,” Mom’s voice is strained with fear and desperation. He wants to comply with her pleas, he wants to just fucking calm down and be a normal kid, but he can’t. “It’s okay, just breathe. Everything’s gonna be fine. Y’aint got no reason to be apologizin’, okay?” 

Her voice seems to fade in and out, washed away by the sound of blood rushing in his ears. His hair keeps falling into his face, damp with sweat, tickling his flushed skin. He lets out another pathetic sound that steals what little air is in his lungs.

Fuck. He can’t breathe.

He knows it’s just a panic attack. Logically, he just needs to calm down. He needs to take slower breaths, and remind himself that everything is fine. And, that even if it isn’t, panicking like this isn’t going to do anything to help him.

Norah’s in the hospital getting tended to, and she’s going to come out of it okay. Lui has broken free of the mind control. They saved Isaac from being sacrificed. He’s freaking out over nothing. But his mind just won’t stop moving. It’s running a mile a minute, careening down the train tracks in his head at lethal speed no matter how hard he tries to hit the brakes.

It’s like he can’t even remember how he’s supposed to be breathing. What level of slow is slow enough? What’s really too slow that he starts running out of air, and what’s just his mind playing tricks on him?

Someone swears, and it isn’t his mom. There’s a pounding of footsteps, familiar voices calling his name. His mom’s grip loosens, finally giving him space to yank his hands away and rub away the feeling of skin on skin with the fabric of his hoodie. He gets lost in the repetitive movement of his fingers catching on the zipper, scratching at his skin.  

He needs to calm down. If his body can get with the fucking program of doing that, that’d be amazing. If it can stop being so convinced that, just because he has a few hours of waiting for things to start up again, it’s the perfect time to be so debilitatingly terrified that he can’t suck in a full breath. His lungs heave, over and over again. His chest hurts.

“Will, man, you gotta slow your breathing, okay?” 

Isaac?

He sounds scared. William wants to open his eyes, to look, to check. To know that it’s real, and that he’s okay. That there isn’t something to actually be afraid of. He just can’t get himself to go through with it. He digs the zipper underneath his nails, feeling the metal teeth bite his skin. He keeps his eyes clenched shut so tight it hurts.

Lui speaks next, “C’mon, Will… Look at us, c’mon, take a breath.”

He opens his mouth to speak, to say that he’s trying. That he’s been trying since he realized what was happening and could rip himself from the safety of hyperventilation. It just isn’t fucking working. But no words make it out around his gasps, he’s choking down air like he’s drowning with nothing to grab onto the moment his lips part.

“I know it’s hard, but you gotta keep trying. Breathe, Will.”

“Just follow my breathing okay?” Lui’s familiar hands grab his wrist, slow and deliberate. His skin isn’t wrinkled or calloused like Mom’s was; it’s smooth, unblemished. His hands are shaking, both of them trembling in each other's grips.

William doesn’t want to let go of his hoodie, doesn’t want to stop the pain that’s grounding him. He doesn’t want to be touched. Still. He trusts Lui. He lets the older teen guide his hand, until he feels Lui’s ribs and all the life beneath. He can feel each rise and fall of the other teens' breaths, and the rabbit quick heartbeat behind his sternum.

“Breathe, honey.”

His mom– she’s still here. That’s right. He swallows thickly, and tries to force his muscles to relax. Calm down.

“In and out, Will. You got this, man.”

He really doesn’t. He’s starting to come to terms with that idea that this panic attack would inevitably end in him passing out– he really doesn’t want that, and it’s been so long since that last happened, but he just can’t fucking breathe. No matter how hard he tries, even with Lui’s lungs to guide him, it hurts. His chest hurts when he tries to force it into submission, and he hates it. 

A broken sob rips from him. Trying to slow his breathing feels like suffocating. It’s like someone’s actively squeezing his throat, wrapping a rope around his lungs. It’s like a hundred pound weight has been placed on his ribs.

“C’mon, Will, you’ve got this.” Lui gives his hand a gentle squeeze, like he’s trying to remind William he’s here, that they’re both still here. Alive.

“Everything’s gonna work out, okay? We’ll– We’ll be okay, Norah’s gonna be okay–”

“But we’re not!” 

The loud, terrified words are out of him before he can even stop to consider them. Tears flow freely down his face, hot and tacky on his skin. His free hand flies out, emphasizing his point– from the corner of his eye, he sees Isaac flinch back out of its path, narrowly avoiding getting hit.

“We’re– we’re–” he stammers, throat raw. Brutal sobs and frantic gasps slam against his ribs. “Norah’s in the hospital again, and it’s my fault again! We almost lost you to that stupid fucking stick and Isaac was almost fucking sacr—” His eyes land on his mom, and he snaps his jaw shut.

Shit.

A new wave of terror hits him like a strike of lightning. He shouldn’t have said that, not in front of her. Not in public. His eyes are open now, and he can see the scene he’s creating. The other people in the waiting room keep unsubtly glancing at him, or blatantly staring. A nurse hovers by the doors, watching him like she’s trying to decide whether or not to intervene. 

His mom. Standing a couple feet away, like she’d been forced out of the way by Isaac and Lui who’re crowded in around him. Her hands are covering her mouth, eyes wide and shining with worry and fear. 

He’s so stupid.

“What’re we gonna do?” He sounds like he’s begging. Begging for someone to tell him how to fix this. Begging for things to be alright. Begging for someone to just make everything better.

He can’t. Breathe.

Each breath he’s taking is wet and short. He can feel Lui’s heartbeat under his hand, tapping slower than his– pounding in his ears. Every single beat is a constant thump-thump-thump that takes over his hearing and threatens to burst from his chest– but still fast. He looks stricken by William’s words.

“Sorr--” his words get caught in his throat, choking him. “Sorry. Sorry, m’ sorry, I can’t–”

“It’s okay.” Isaac grabs his other hand, carefully prying it from the strands of greasy black hair he’d buried it in and saving him from the headache he’d give himself tugging on it. “We’re gonna figure it out. We’re all okay right now, and that’s what matters. Right, Lui?”

“Yeah. Yeah, dude.” Lui clears his throat, squeezing William’s hand tighter. Somehow, it’s reassuring, despite being a death grip that makes his bones ache. “But– But we can’t do anything with you like this, okay? You need to slow your breathing. Please, just– just try, okay?”

He keens, shaking his head. He’s been trying.

The world’s starting to feel fuzzy and off-kilter. 

He really doesn’t wanna pass out.

Focus. Focus on breathing, on calming down. Everything will work out. He’s going to make sure everything works out. He forces a breath in through his nose, then out through his mouth, then repeats. Having to open and close his lips forces him to slow down, to consciously switch between the two. 

In, and out.

“There you go.” Isaac’s voice is thick with relief. He can feel Lui slump under his hand, muscling untensing with the same feeling. “Good job, man. Just like that, okay?”

“Keep breathing, Will. You’ve got this.”

In and out.

In and out.

The constant rise and fall of Lui’s chest. The off-beat thump, thump, thump of his heart. The sounds of buzzing fluorescent lights and the smell of hospital cleaning products. The ache of Lui’s too-tight grip and the rough feeling of Isaac’s skin on his. He’s here. They’re here. 

Tension drains out of him all at once like a tidal wave, and he slumps forward over his knees. Isaac catches him, dragging him in close, and wrapping his arm around the trembling teen’s frame. William’s shoulder twinges, twisting so he can keep his palm to Lui’s chest. He refuses to lose that contact. Another aching joint was nothing in the grand scheme of things.

His head’s against Isaac’s chest now, letting him feel the signs of life right below his friend's skin. Two of three UPP members are here. They’re safe. They’re breathing. Their hearts are beating. He keeps using them as his guide, slowing his breathing despite the way it burns.

He can’t see his mom anymore, not with his head buried in Isaac’s jacket, but he knows she’s there. Hot shame curls in his gut in the empty space his fleeing panic leaves behind. He’s such an idiot. He knows how to get out of a panic attack. 

He knows all the coping mechanisms he can use. He knows how to breathe; he’s memorized countless breathing exercises specifically to make it easier to keep track of how he should be breathing when he gets wound up like this. And yet, every single time it’s like he forgets all over again. 

And now, because he can’t just keep his mouth shut and his mind quiet, he’s said all of that right in front of his mother. She’s had to watch him fall apart with no idea as to why. She’s going to worry herself into getting the flu again, and it’ll be his fault.

“Feeling better?” Lui murmurs, low enough that only they can hear. William groans, burying his face further into Isaac’s jacket. It’s the red one he always wore, even in the summer, with a rough texture that feels nice against his skin. 

“...’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize, dude.” Isaac’s chest rumbles with his voice, arms tightening around the younger. “It’s…”

Lui fills in the blank, “It’s a lot.”

He doesn’t respond.

He doesn’t need to. They get it. They understand everything that’s happening.

That doesn’t mean it’s fair. Fair for him to make them deal with his shit, when he hasn’t gone through half of what they have. Not to mention that they still have so much to do, so much to talk about, so much to prepare for. They don’t have the time for this. 

He grits his teeth. He hits the metaphorical brakes on his train of thought. Don’t think about it, he tells himself. If he thinks about everything that can go wrong, everything that’s already gone wrong, he’ll only work himself back up and then where would he be?

In.

And out.

“...Still,” he croaks. “Sorry.” Is that the only word he knows how to say anymore? The only shape his mouth can make now? Is he doomed to apologize, over and over again, that five letter word slipping between his teeth for the rest of eternity? “Didn’t mean– It’s–”

He pulls his head back, just enough to thunk it back down, seeking the stimulation an ache can provide. His hands flex, holding too-tight onto his friends, then loosening the moment he realizes his nails are digging into skin. 

“Yeah.” He gives up. He doesn’t know how to say it. “It’s… a lot.”

More footsteps approach. It takes him a second to recognize the familiar tap-tap of his dad’s work boots on the tile floor. He yanks himself away from his friends, frantically trying to wipe away the tears and snot from his face with his hoodie sleeves. 

Everything is fine. It’ll all work out. 

- william gets really bad paranoia. like they all get paranoia and anxiety and whatnot but william will get it so bad that he has to shut himself in a room in a corner where he can see everything and not move because he's fucking terrified. every dark shadow is something coming to get him, every corner is something hiding, every noise is a monster. he fucking hates it.

- i think it sometimes gets so bad that he genuinely can’t get better alone. he needs somebody to come with him and show him that it’s okay because he is completely and utterly frozen with terror

- his mom and dad have taken to checking on him in the night if they wake up at any point (like to get water or use the restroom) since he’s been having terrible nightmares, and sometimes they’ll just find him tucked as far into a corner as possible, sometimes even in a completely different room, and will prove to him nothing’s coming to hurt him then stay with him until he gets back to sleep

- sometimes he’s terrified but getting out of his room makes it easier, so he’ll just move to the living room or the basement and sleep on the couch there. usually he puts a DVD in because the noise helps calm him down enough to sleep

- a couple times his parents have come to check on him and he hasn’t been in his room and they’ll freak out briefly until they find him on the couch with the TV on low and they’ll like pull his blanket up and tuck him in

- norah scratched the shit out of william’s arms when he restrained her in season 1 to keep her from hurting herself, and a handful of the scratch marks were deep enough that they scarred. he tries VERY hard to never let her see his arms because of it, and also makes an effort to not see them himself

- william is ALWAYS wearing a hoodie. he feels wildly uncomfortable without one, especially with the scars he has on his arms now from Norah’s nails 

- probably wears arm warmers even in the dead of summer under his regular hoodie to cover up the scars

-  he regularly gets panic attacks and has for like, the majority of his life. he’s always had really bad anxiety. and i think most of the time he can get out of it himself, and it rarely escalates to the full blown type you see in fics a lot, where you cant breathe and your vision starts going black and youre convinced youre dying and there's nothing you can do about it

- but rather just like... he gets stuck in his head and his mind loops and loops and loops and he gets insanely shaky and his heart beats like a jackhammer, and then he self corrects and tries to calm himself down. he usually does this by distracting himself. 

- over time the UPP starts recognizing the signs and getting his attention and asking him to do something/engaging him in convesration to subtly redirect his thoughts

- but sometimes he'll have the full blown kind and every single time he forgets every method he has for calming himself down and it always ends up like so bad

- also he has ptsd. bcos of fucking course he does he goes through some insane shit. he convinces himself that he doesnt though because he didn’t go through “anything anywhere near as bad” as the rest of the UPP, even after season 2

- tends to really freak out when anybody else in the UPP gets hurt or disappears or is even just a bit late. like his brain convinces him theyre dying, or dead, or in awful trouble, and he works himself up over it. does his best to act like nothing’s wrong usually, but sometimes the panic will spill out and he’ll word vomit worst case scenarios until someone shuts him up and starts calming him down

- i think he’s VERY good at hiding his trauma/panic tbh. like unless you know what to look for you won’t know he’s struggling until he completely falls apart at the seams. 

There was a soft tap-tap-tap on the basement window that had William jumping. He fumbled with his controller, trying to pause his game of Assassins Creed without putting himself in a shit spot for returning to.

When he was able to look back to the window– another series of taps ringing out across the room– what he saw was Norah, crouched in the window well and clad in her pajamas with a thick red hoodie thrown overtop. He tripped over the air on his way over, hitting his hip on the lip of the couch. 

"Norah?" He shoved the window up its frame. His heart stuttered with worry at the sight of her face, damp with tears. "What's wrong? Are you okay?" he urged her inside, eyes scanning her for injuries. He didn’t find any– thank fuck. She ducked her head, hands fumbling for her pockets.

She pulled out her phone while he shut and locked the window. He watched her tap away on it, bouncing on the balls of his feet and fidgeting with the frayed hem of his hoodie while he waited for her to type the words out. Eventually, her phone spoke on her behalf, in a jerky robotic voice, "Are you real?"

His expression crumbled as much as it ever did, wide eyes turning into pinched brows and a soft set frown. Damn. Ever since everything happened– with the Dark Young, and the Shtriga, so much worse than anything they’d dealt with before– Norah hadn’t exactly been… the same. He hated to acknowledge that it wasn’t even something he could fix. 

It wasn’t a monster, it wasn’t a lingering effect from either of the creatures they’d fought and won against in recent months. It was just… her. The stress of it all had gotten to her worst. Watching her fall deep into her mind and get lost there might be even worse than running for his life.

With slow movements, he laid his hands on her shoulders and gently squeezed. Despite the way she was keeping her head hung low, he angled himself so he could look her in the eyes, "I'm real. I'm here, and I'm real, okay? I promise."

“...You promise?” she echoed, voice choked with tears, and fear, and all the stress that must’ve been building and building.

“I promise.”

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yap yap... im really tired rn so i dont have a lot of yap. this the last drabble im posting for rn, im gonna try and get the headcanons i have save rn cleaned up and posted since theyre pretty much ready i just need to make sure theyre coherant lmao

soon-ish im gonna throw all these drabbles onto ao3, i wanna write more drabbles but im trying to focus on my bigger oneshots more than them. the drabbles were kinda just me struggling with writing motivation but wanting to have SOMETHING to show for my hyperfixation

ive started a chronic fatigue wiwi PD fic, and im halfway through the editing process for a physically disabled wiwi fic! and soon im gonna butcher this attempt i made at a nightmares fic and post the individual scenes as their own fics

anyways yap about the ACTUAL post. i almost had william playing Alice: Madness Returns only to find out that game wasnt out yet.

also this fic idea came to me in the middle of the shower and i had to get out and type it into the upp server with wet hands so i didnt lose the idea

It's three in the morning, and none of them can sleep. 

This isn't new, especially not since the shtriga and the ritual. Lui's still in the hospital, has been for a week and a half now, and the three of them are piled into William's basement, laid out in their sleeping bags. 

Not sleeping.

"...I love you guys," William croaked into the dark, quiet room. "I think... You guys're... you guys are the best thing that's ever happened to me."

The other two don't respond for so long that William starts to think maybe he was wrong. Maybe he’s the only one awake and he's talking entirely to himself. And then, in that strained voice that is so obviously him trying not to laugh, Isaac says, "We're the best things that've ever happened to you?"

"Yeah, man. I'm bein', like, vulnerable here, don't make fun of me."

Norah's sleeping bag rustles, and then he hears her giggle. "I'm starting to feel a little sorry for you," she says through soft, twinkling laughter, "If we're-- if we're the best things."

"What?" William sits up to look at her grinning face. "C'mon, you guys're great. I never would've--" he winces at the words about to come out of his mouth, "There's a lot of things I never would've... come out of alive, if not for you guys."

He turns at the sound of Isaac's sleeping bag unzipping, and sees the taller teen shuffling over to him. Isaac leans heavily into his side, slinging an arm over his shoulders. "We're just messin' with you, man," he relents, "We love you, too."

"Yeah, Will, you're..." Norah trails off, hands fidgeting atop the surface of her sleeping bag. "This group is one of the best things that've happened to me, too."

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

IM SORRY LUI'S NOT HERE WHEN I WROTE IT I JUST. DIDNT. IDFK i struggle with writing lui. know that if he was here he'd be like "yeah, i love you guys" like the rest of them. i think its cos the incorrect quote i was using as my inspo/guide only had three ppl in it

"...Can I be frank with you guys?" William spoke, interrupting the silence that had been gently draped over the UPP members for the last few minutes like a thick comforter.

Isaac snrked, "Sure, man, but, I don't see how changing your name is gonna do anything."

Norah fought back a laugh, biting her lip to keep her smile from becoming a full out grin. "Can I still be Norah?" 

"Shh, let Frank speak," Lui stage-whispered, bumping shoulders with her, not even bothering to hide his grin. 

"I hate you guys."

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Norah fidgetted with her hands, the cuffs of her maroon sweater rough against the road rash coating her palms. "...I don't wanna go to jail," she muttered. 

"Jail is not fun. Zero out of ten, do not recommend," Isaac quipped. She made a face, scrunching up her nose and pressing her brows together.

"None of us are going to jail, this is-- like, uh. It's not serious enough, okay?" William reassured. He bumped his shoulder into hers, stretching his lips into a small, comforting smile.

Silence hung over them for a beat. They were just waiting on Lui to get back so they could figure out their next steps. Hopefully, it wouldn’t be long now.

"...Isaac, you've been to jail?"

"Once," Isaac began, voice grave, "In monopoly. Worst ten minutes of my life."

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

these ones are both so short im just putting them both in the same post lmao

"William, hit me with that again and I'm taking it!" Isaac whipped around to look at William, who had been lightly bapping him with a stick for the last ten minutes. He wasn't actually angry. In fact, he could barely keep the laughter in his chest from bubbling out, but it was starting to get annoying enough that he was gonna do something about it.

William growled, snapping his teeth and chuffing. Isaac didn't hesitate to match him, growling low and loud in his chest. If Will actually had his fox ears, Isaac could easily picture them tucked back in a display of aggression. 

Then, oh so gently, William thwacked him over the head with the stick. Isaac reached for it, only for the fox to yank it out of his reach with a hyena-like laugh. His grin was more like bared teeth. Isaac leapt for him, trying to get it out of his grip. 

The two of them tumbled into the frosty grass, William yelping in a way that was more fox than human, then growled again and tried to wriggle out from beneath the heavier teen. 

Isaac let him, if only to hear his chittery laugh when he remained victorious. Another bop with the stick, and he was chasing the grey fox through the clearing for custody of the item.

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Norah was easily startled and they all knew it. 

They made an effort not to scare her if they could. It was the same with William, except he was usually more aware of his surroundings than she was. She got absorbed in what she was doing with ease, and wouldn't notice you until you made a loud noise that had her jumping.

So, when Lui walked into her room, having been let up by her parents, he knocked on the frame of the door to announce himself. It was muscle memory, even if she was already sitting up and looking at the doorway when he got there. 

Norah had her back turned, hunched over her bookshelf, tidying or reorganizing her books it seemed. Half of them were spread out on her bed-- he didn't know if she'd just decided she didn't like them how they were, or if she'd pulled a bunch of them out for some other reason and was just now putting them back.

Unsurprisingly, she yelped. It was this high-pitched squeaky thing that was more her theriotype than human. He struggled to fight back his smile in amusement when she whirled around, fingers clawed and hands held up around her head like a threatened red panda. Her face was scrunched up, teeth bared and nose wrinkled.

It was far more adorable than scary, admittedly.

“Lui!” Her eyes went wide barely a second later, and her hands dropped, “You scared me! When’d you get here?”

“Just now. Uhm, what’s going on with all the books…?”

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tada. whimsy. my babies being therians i love them so bad. i actually dont think these are super well written but let me live my truth

william is fully mental shifted in his which is why he doesnt talk and is just being a pest. see also william is running on all fours and isaac is on two legs, but isaac 100% growls to rile him up (like you ever growl at ur dog while playing. that)

norah isnt shifted but that's her instinctive response to being startled

Norah was trying to study. They had their midterms this week, and if she got anything less than an A on any of them she was going to break down crying and screaming.

Okay. That was a little dramatic. Still, she'd been studying as much as she could around UPP meetings, school, and her other hobbies. She was trying to get through her full set of flash cards and reorganize her notes before her alarm to get ready for bed went off.

Her phone buzzed angrily on the nightstand with William's ringtone. Again.

She ignored it.

It buzzed again. Isaac's ringtone, this time. Again.

She ignored it.

They'd been calling her for the last hour-- either both taking turns spam calling her or spacing them out like they were talking with each other before bothering her again. She would normally pick up, either out of worry something was wrong or just because they're her friends and she likes to hang out with them, but she wasn't done and she wasn't going to do anything else until she was done.

Her phone rang again, and she ignored it again.

Chances were that they just wanted to pester her with something entirely inconsequential. It'd been an hour! If it was something serious they would've come and gotten her by now. If they'd gotten in trouble chasing some mystery, they wouldn't've been able to repeatedly call her like this.

So, they were probably fine, and she was going to keep studying.

And then her phone rang with Lui's ringtone, and she dropped her pencil. Damnit. She was almost done with that page. But Lui never called if it wasn't serious. Maybe they'd gotten a lead on something, or maybe they really were in trouble. She fumbled for her baby pink flip phone, decorated with puffy stickers and sharpie drawings.

"Hello?" 

In the background of the call, she could hear Isaac and William talking over each other, neither of them comprehendable. "Norah, you answered!" Lui exclaimed, "Will and Isaac thought something bad happened to you, are you alright?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. I'm-- I'm trying to study? Midterms are in a few days, and I still, uhm, I still need to finish categorizing my notebook and reviewing chapters 3-6 of our biology textbook..."

"Oh, thank god," Lui breathed. She heard him talking to the two boys, reassuring them she was alright. "Look, uhm, y'know how Margo from our geography class went missing a couple days ago? Yeah... William, uhm, might've– might’ve found her body in the woods?"

"What?!"

---------------------------------------------

my babies. i like to think william and isaac spam call their friends way too much. it gets obnoxious. she just doesnt pick up the phone half the time because its something that couldve been a text.

i know the hc that william hates phone calls is AMAZING and i do prefer that highkey. hed rather text you. but shhhhh. lui doesnt call or text a lot methinks, i think he prefers to talk irl or just give you the most basic, generic response ever. you send him 6 messages and he gives you a thumbs up emoji

"William, Norah!" Mr. Wisp's voice hollered down the stairs. The two kids perked up from where they were on the floor, the furniture shoved out of the way so they could bounce around on all fours. In the winter months, it was too cold to go out into the woods, so they were making do with the small basement space. "Isaac and Lui're here!"

"Thanks, Mr. Wisp." Lui's voice-- always so soft and awkward when around parents, even when they were William's who practically considered him and all of William's friends extra kids-- carried down the stairwell.

"Thanks, dad!" Isaac chirped, much louder. Mr. Wisp laughed, a hearty thing that came from deep in his chest. The stairs creaked under the two teens’ weight. The creaking basement door shut behind them. "Hey, guys!"

"Hey!" Norah greeted cheerily, sitting back on her haunches and smiling up at them. "You're late."

Lui made a face. He and Isaac joined the two on the ground, William sprawling out on the floor and dropping his head in Isaac's lap once it was available. "No, we're not."

"You were supposed to be here at five, it's five-fifteen."

"Yeah, that's my bad." Isaac awkwardly ran a hand through his hair, tugging out the hair tie that'd been holding it in place so it could fall down around his shoulders. It was getting crazy long despite Mr. Brooks' attempts to cut it. "I forgot to do the dishes last night, and my dad was, like, totally getting on my ass about it."

William offered him a fistbump that he happily reciprocated, "You're good, man. Norah and I were trying to see who could jump higher."

"Any change from last week?" Lui pulled his backpack off, setting its heavy weight in his lap and leaning forward on it like a pillow.

Norah pouted, face scrunching. "No, he's still better at it than I am."

"I'm a fox! If a red panda could jump higher than me I'd be, like, in trouble."

"I'm taller though, I should be able to jump higher!"

"I don't think that's how that works." Isaac laughed. His hands were running through William's hair, tugging out the knots he never bothered to brush through and scratching his fingernails on the younger teen's scalp. A content, rumbling purr filled the silence between words, "Besides, aren't you still faster?"

Norah lit up, squeaking happily. "Yeah! We raced on Sunday, when the snow all melted--"

"And then it started snowing halfway through, because of course it did."

"--Yeah, but I totally won."

"Yeah," Will acknowledged, sighing dramatically. "Yeah, y'did."

----------------------------------------------------

i cannot remember if this was inspired by an incorrect quote. i think i just wanted to write them hanging out and did this. somehow it all leads back to me writing wiwi and norah yapping about quads or therianthropy...

william put a lot of effort into learning how to purr. isaac thinks its funny (or cute. if you ship locklight) and often winds up playing with his hair when they hang out just to hear him do it

i will forever stand by norah can run faster on all fours, but william can jump higher. i do not have a reason for you, this is simply my truth

i think its in my first headcanons post that i like to think all the upp call mr and mrs wisp mom & dad, but it's mostly isaac. norah and lui rlly only do it if both isaac and william have said it right before them, or theyre feeling cheeky

lui is so sidelined im so sorry. as i was posting this i realized :( in my brain he enjoys just hanging out and doesnt like? feel the need to talk a whole lot. im also just not awesome at balancing the amount of ppl in the group, esp when im not super unwell about all of them. hence why most of my fics end up more focused on wiwi or norah

Isaac had long since grown used to his friends in Deadwood being weird. He'd come to terms with the fact that he was, by proxy, also weird. He took the weird things they did in stride these days.

This, though? This was weird enough to warrant a comment, in his opinion. 

He'd only just made it to the Wisp family basement, Mrs. Wisp having let him in a few minutes ago, to join the rest of the UPP downstairs. Lui was on the couch that’d been pushed to the back of the room like they did when Norah and William wanted to practice quads or– more rarely– the group wanted to do some other activity that needed more open space.

Lui being alone wasn't the weird bit. He seemed to enjoy doing his own thing while simultaneously hanging out with the rest of them, and today he looked to be working in his latest occult journal, scribbling down notes or annotating previous entries-- Isaac didn't know which. 

William and Norah were sat around the foldable card table, which was surrounded by chairs like they were going to play a board game, tapping their fingers on the plastic surface over and over again. They were looking at each other-- Norah's eyes narrowed, William's lips set in a smug little smirk.

"What're they doing?" Isaac asked, keeping his voice low enough that Norah and William theoretically wouldn't hear him over their focus on... uh, whatever they were doing.

Lui glanced up from his journal, pencil still on the page, then looked to the other half of the group. "Oh. Uhm, morse code?" he offered, half-shrugging, "They've been at it for a while now... waiting for you, I think?"

Loud, aggressive tapping stopped Isaac from asking what morse code was. William's hand was hitting out some sort of pattern, hard enough it sounded like it surely must be hurting his hands. A beat later, Norah stood up so fast her folding chair toppled backward, and slammed her hands on the table. "You take that back!" she exclaimed, face pinched. He could see the faintest tweak in her cheek that gave away the smile she was holding back.

"Hah!" William didn't stand. Instead, he leapt up onto the balls of his feet, still in his chair, and put himself in a crouch that left him eye level with Norah, "I win, you broke first!"

A high pitched squeaky bark left Norah. Isaac didn't know what emotion that was expressing, but her face was scrunched up like she was happily annoyed, "You-- you-- William, you suck!"

"I'm better, that's what I am!" Will stuck his tongue out, laughing in that high and chittering way he did when he was half-shifted.

"Are not!"

"Am too!"

"Are not!"

"Am too!" 

Over the cacophony of Will and Norah play fighting, Isaac slunk in closer to Lui-- possibly a bit too close, if the other boy leaning away from him meant anything-- and asked, "What's morse code?"

"It's, like." Lui made a face, clearly trying to find the words. Then he tapped his fingers on the hard cover of his notebook in a pattern, "You tap, like that? Uhm, and certain types of tapping mean different letters. So it's, uh, it's like a coded language?"

"Ohhh." Isaac nodded in understanding. That explained everything.  "Any idea what they were saying?"

"Not a clue."

There was a loud thud that drew Isaac's attention back to William and Norah-- who were now both on the ground, wrestling and growling at each other. Smatterings of laughter broke through it, so Isaac was perfectly content to sit back in the open space of the couch and let them at it.

-----------------------------------------------------

I WILL MAKE THEM HAPPY IF ITS THE LAST THING I DO!!

will and his mom in the hospital when he's getting attacked by dr gurgeurhg (i will never learn to spell his name. i refuse /silly) and her going full angry southern mom on him. will and calling her momma trying to get her to calm down, letting his own accent slip a bit

see the possibility of that being the first time any of his friends (Lui, because sadly the rest are not there :( ) hear him southern, and theyve got far more pressing concerns. they dont even get to make fun of him for it because of The Horrors

i havent even finished 2.4 as of posting this but im liek 25 minutes from the end and i genuinely cant do this. like i paused it and unironically started almost full out balling and decided i needed to take a break. i cant even scroll the upp tag so im just reading fanfic for another fandom to help me feel better

i liked this scene a lot. bizly did a good job making it fucking awful. like i paused midway through the scene to start writing it, then finished it just so i could make this lil drabbly bit because inspiration hit me like a brick to the window

- lui frequently has to remind himself that he's in control 

- sometimes he does something on autopilot/while zoned out and then freezes because his brain is just telling him he didn’t do that, it’s not him, someone else is in control and he has to force himself to calm down

- starts dissociating & zoning out way more/worse after s2

- norah spends several days trying to find out what’s wrong with him (so does William, but he thinks it’s something supernatural so he’s looking in all the wrong places), and once she figures it out she starts researching how to  help him

- they all educate themselves on how to jolt lui out of it when he gets too deep in his head and can’t pull himself out as best they can. it doesn’t always work and they all find it a little terrifying to see Lui’s completely blank expression staring straight ahead, unresponding

- autistic and has AWFUL sensory issues

- when he’s stressed out and overwhelmed he gets really snappy and mean to the people around him, always feels SO guilty afterward

- STICK TRAUMA. cannibalising this from fanart i saw: at some point after s2 one of his little siblings engages him in a stick-sword battle and the stick they’re holding looks a little too much like the one Mr. Abrahams used and it sends him full blown spiralling

- it’s not like it’s ALL sticks, or even people holding sticks, that one just looked really similar and he was already having a horrible day. he really scared his family because his freakout ended with him completely collapsing

- tends to pass out pretty fast after he starts hyperventilating

- used to get panic/anxiety attacks growing up that were more like just the thoughts and sweating and fast heartrate spiralling, but not the full blown ringing in the ears, hyperventilating, black spots

- he gets them way worse now. refuses to talk to the rest of the uppies about it, doesn’t want to burden/upset them

- sometimes will have PTSD flashbacks relating to losing control of himself and he’ll act like he’s in that state again, out of control and blank. he fucking hates them and usually once he comes out of it he breaks down in tears

- never tells the rest of the uppies how terrified he was of losing control when it happened, or how hard he cried once it wore off

- gets sleep paralysis with hallucinations, usually only happens when he’s home and the house is too quiet

pizza

- will 100% thinks pineapple on pizza is a SIN /silly but isaac loves it

- i think lui has sensory issues regarding a lot if pizza toppings and usually gets like. deep dish pepperoni. i thinj flat/regular pizza makes him nauseated from the tezture

- in my heart of hearts norah is like me and peels the cheese off her pizza. she ultimately doesnt really care for pizza and would rather just eat an entire order of breadsticks herself

- will gets 300 fucking toppings and rheyre ALL gross. he always makes a huge mess when eating it too cos he will never eat pizza with a fork but there're too many toppings to eat with his hands. like hes got mushrooms, extra cheese, diced tomatoes, ground beef, spinach, ham, pepperoni, sun dried tomatoes, every topping under the sun. everybody hates him for it /silly

coffee/tea/energy drinks

- coffee order wise william wants to he emo and drink black coffee but genuinely hates it so bad. his real coffee order is like DISGUSTINGLY sweet and over the top. it has way too much sugar and its barely even coffee

- norah doesnt like coffee and prefers to get caffeinated tea 

- isaac drinks energy drinks and HATES tea and doesnt like coffee but would drink it if he was really tired and had no energy drinks

- lui has something simple but yummy like a latte with ample sweetener. like its still bitter, not too sweet, but its nicer than black. that black coffee taste always just hangs out in his mouth and clings to his teeth for hours and he hates it

comfort/favorite/safe foods

- i feel like norah's comfort food is def her dads meatloaf, but she has other safe foods that are less meal-like bcos tism

- i think william's favorite food is like. lasagna his mom makes or something. i also have in one of my fics that his comfort food is like, bbq potato chips bcos his parents stopped buying him junk food and now he can only get it when he can justify wasting his allowance on it

- one of norah’s safe foods is def just like. plain veggies. maybe some ranch or some other dip. there’s always like two or three bags of baby carrots in the fridge because it’s one of the main things she eats

- she is super picky about food, but always feels bad about it. would rather not eat or pretend to enjoy food than inconvenience someone with making her something different. her parents keep trying to get her to tell them when she wants something else because they dont mind but she never internalizes it

- i actually dont think lui's favorite/comfort food is anything his parents make, not because theyre like bad cooks but just because i need variety /silly and because i think he's really particular about food and would rather make it himself so he Knows™ it'll be how he wants it

- lui's favorite/comfort food is a grilled cheese with tomatoes but it HAS to be prepared to like. very specific directions. like it needs 3 specific types of cheese from the right brand and the tomatoes have to be cut just right and the bread CANNOT be over or under toasted. nobody else makes it correctly despite their best efforts

- i bet william can make lasagna like his mom (to him it’s not the same, it will always taste better to him when his mom makes it) and i think that’s isaac’s comfort food, or at least one of them. like william making everyone dinner after they get back from a monster/mystery or bringing them food he made when theyre feeling like shit

- just the idea that william making him a homemade meal to cheer him up being more comforting than his own parents cooking him food… ough

method of plating

- norah and lui both need their food SEPARTED. they CANNOT touch.

- for norah she also often needs to wipe down her cutlery depending on what she used it for, or use different cutlery. like you cant have the chicken with that fork if you also had the mashed potatoes with it

- lui has certain foods that deserve certain dishes. like rice needs to be in a bowl but chicken needs to be on a plate kinda thing

- isaac is a monster who just piles everything on his plate entirely uncaring of what touches and what mixes together. he puts mashed potatoes next to cranberries on thanksgiving and then eats both despite the mixed texture/taste. he does not care