London Calling

Touristes.

Forced to skip out? What did some come running inwith a gun and tell you to drop everything and leave?

A kid I was teaching came up to me today and said, in perfect French, that I was his favourite teacher ever. It felt pretty good, until he told me why. “You never mark hard, you’re so lazy, and sometimes you’re a goof, and you make us laugh with your clumsiness.” Well… I guess the dude was right, so should I be ashamed of what he’s tellin’ me? It sounds like I’m the type of teacher I wished I had when I was in school.

What an entitled little brat.   Even I think that’s mean, and well, i’m not exactly the nicest person in the world.  But if he said it all in perfect French, you must be doing something right.  Otherwise he wouldn’t have been able to do that.

I’ve seen things about American spring break and it just seems super trashy and gross and I’m assuming it’s ever grosser with parents in mind.

Finally.  Someone who actually gets it.  I feel like i’m too old to watch people my own age do it much less someone like ten years older.

I mean aside from the fact that the movies make it seem way more fun than it actually is.  Yeah you’ve probably got a pretty good idea of what goes down.

Oh god no.

Clearly that relationship worked out.

Is there something so wrong with wanting to see your best friend happy, but fine I promise next time I’ll just write a glowing review or something.

Well that’s what I am, so yeah true. I’m sorry some guys are like that. That sure makes going out sound less fun then it should be. You make your own hangover cure? 

Oh I’m sure its more of an insane group mentality that goes on when you get a bunch of immature , hormonal, drunk guys in a room together.  Yeah, I created my specialty hangover cures, a potion of my own creation.

Then you’ll be pretty happy to find out that, contrary to popular belief, I’m not actually a cat. I do appreciate your concern for my well being, though.

Oh thank god, I was really worried.  Cause you know the saying only applies to....actual cats.

I would probably just kindly inform them that taking notes isn’t necessarily a part of my overall job description. Or disguise their wine and firewhiskeys and change them into water. 

Oh trust me I tried, but they were so far gone I’m not sure they even understood what I was saying.  I don’t know maybe it was the accent.  I may have to steal that trick for next time, all I did was start watering down their drinks.  Throw a little charm on the drinks and I could make them thing they were drinking what they really want.  Devious Hummell, I’m impressed.

Oh, are they getting gross and inappropriate? I thought you just meant they were drinking a lot. Which is kind of the point of going to a pub, but if they’re getting drunk and then trying to hook up on a bar stool, then I understand what you mean.

Now you’re getting it.  The average drunk antics I can handle.  In fact i find them amusing most of the time, its why I love my job.  But these parents, it was like they hadn’t had a drink in 5 years and then they drank an entire fifth of fire whiskey and their brains short circuited.

Hm fair. They are very good cakes, you’d know if you swung by.

You drive a hard bargain there Fabray.  I might consider it on my next day off.

That’s an interesting thought. Maybe you’re right. But it sure sounds like you might’ve had a taste of both. Living up to your name, barkeep? 

I can neither confirm nor deny that allegations, but I will say I always live up to my name.

So… what you’re saying is… you like to have fun in private then? What kind of fun and can I join? 

And quick on the pick up too!.  I’ll let youuse your imagination more fun that way, but if you want to join you know where to find me.

As much as I’m liking London, it’s really fucking weird that the MoM have allowed Knockturn Alley to take root right next to Diagon Alley. Thank Merlin’s saggy left nut that the kids are back at school. Now, I can go back to my real job instead of baby sitting all damn day. 

Maybe they’re encouraging people to walk on the wild side, or maybe its more along the lines of keep your friends close and your enemies closer.  Does this mean we can expect to less of your face around the Alley?

I gotta say, spring breaks were kinda awesome. Everyone needs to blow off steam once in a while. Even parents, I guess. Maybe you need to go on spring break for your mini-vacation or something. See what you’re missing out on. 

They were fun when we were sixteen, the blatant exhibitionism gets a little old after that.  Trust me I have no problem letting loose and having a little fun just not always out in public surrounded by tons of my friends.  Bars are for the shots, the rest of it can wait, build anticipation. I can promise you I’m not missing out on anything.

I’m tempted to ask for more information here but at the same time not really? My curiosity is a constant struggle.

Well they say curiosity killed the cat, and I hate to see something horrible happen to you.

You may think it’s fun but the Muggles we helped out seemed to disagree. Not that they remember it anymore. It’s already funny enough considering a couple of our own got tricked while trying to capture them and… well, let’s say it added almost another hour to the whole thing.

Well of course it wasn’t fun t the time, its only fun for us at the time.  But it could turn into one of those we’ll all laugh about his later.  On the other hand your coworkers getting tricked, now that’s priceless.  That’s even better than the no-maj’s getting caught up in it.  Please tell me you laughed at them.