draw four

If interested: www.yourwaywardsoul.tumblr.com

I brush my teeth and wash my face. Crawl into bed. Let Alana in. We laugh and talk. The throbbing above my eye has stopped.

The sun will rise tomorrow and I will turn my back to it, make my way out of the park, and resume the seemingly endless bus ride west. Yellowstone feels so much like home in so many ways, that I can only use the term heading “west" rather than heading “home." I am so glad I came here. It was exactly what my soul needed. Leaving is not easy; life here is safe, comfortable, fun. But… I kind of doubt if I’ll return to work here. I know I could (in theory at least) but for whatever reason, my gut, instincts, and intuition have been telling me not to. Which is surprising and somewhat terrifying. I keep trusting myself with these big, unexpected decisions that aren’t what I want, but what I seem to need and it’s pretty scary to have everything so up in the wind. I’m trying to hold on to my belief that everything happens for a reason and that maybe all of these hard and complicated choices are leading me towards something bigger and better. But it’s really easy to fear that I’m setting myself up for failure. So I think I’m gonna spend July in Oregon, house sitting for my parents and applying for real life jobs. And if that doesn’t work or feel right, then maybe I’ll come back to the park in August and work the end of the season. Who knows? Certainly not me. It’s been so nice to be here with such amazing, supporting, encouraging, and loving friends. The Yellowstone family is a real thing, and I consider myself lucky to be a member of it. This is really scary for me, and I’m curious, nervous, and a little excited to see how it plays out. Sitting in Gary’s cabin after spending the day hiking cascade lake, it was impossible not to second guess myself and be filled with desire to stay here. But that’s the easy way out, and “nothing in this world that’s worth having comes easy." (Note: not discussing the AT in this post, because it’s too complicated for me right now)

The bus makes a futile attempt at chasing the setting sun and I am gradually heading west. It's a beautiful summer's evening, the horizons of the sky fading with the end of the day. It's finally my last sunset in Pennsylvania. Night will come and we'll follow the moon instead. I watched the supermoon rise and fall in the sky last night. As it pulls the tides, it seemingly pulls me home. I closed my eyes and imagined it waking me up camped next to Ice Lake, or illuminating the side of the canyon before hitting the falls. I suppose it's not surprising that as I officially leave the AT behind me, I'm feeling all sorts of emotional. It's like before, there was still the chance I could change my mind, and now I'm committed. I wasn't going to change my mind and do know not hiking (especially with how my ankle has been feeling) is what's best for me. But right now, it's hard not to question the choice. My legs feel cramped and antsy from sitting for almost 24 hours. We drove through Harrisburg today, the Rodeway Inn where it all started. And I was slapped in the face by the ghost of failure. Here I was, exactly where I should be, but about three months early. Doubt crept in, as it undoubtedly was going to (as it would have earlier if the other Jenna's family hadn't done such a great job at comforting and reassuring me). But now I can't fall back on "when in doubt, head north." I wanted to check in with Erin, but figured it best to let her hike her hike. She's fine. I'm fine too. The bus will truly provide the ultimate test of faith in this decision. Along with a pretty substantial test in how I process things and where the tracks in my head end up. I've learned to appreciate little things in a more intense way than post wolf camp. Water from a tap, real food, hugs, cotton clothing. I'm so pumped to have deodorant again that I'm being a little weird about it maybe. Or others looked at me weird when I put it on during the bus ride. A Whole New World just started playing on my iPod. Sorry for the weird post, maybe the next one will be a highlight reel of greyhound moments. But this is what I'm working through right now, and it's beating me up a bit. I've also learned that I love all of you so much. And I'm so grateful for the love I receive from you. Someone once told me one of the greatest joys in life is not just to be loved, but to love others. And right now, when all else fails, I've got that to hold on to. And I've gotta remember that I learned to let myself pursue happiness, and that this gradual westward ride is taking me towards happiness I can depend on.

I finally slept through the night, which I took as a good sign that this was actually the right decision. A sleepless night full of racing thoughts of debate seemed entirely possible, but I slept deeply. I viewed getting on the bus and how I felt driving north as the first real test. When I left Yellowstone early the summer of 2011 I cried as the bus pulled out, and I did regret not staying those few extra days. While I didn't smile today, while I felt more emotions than I realized possible, there were no tears, and I continued to be able to think that this is good. I'm sitting in Boston right now with about two and a half hours left until my bus to Vermont takes off. I'm in my hiking clothes and still look, smell, and feel like a hiker. I wonder if and when I'll lose that part of my identity. It feels weird to be surrounded by people in normal clothes with normal bags. It feels weirder to have traveled through four states already today. Normal life is really so easy and convenient. Just wrapped my ankle up as best as possible with still being able to wear my shoe. It hurts more today. I'm really glad to get to go see Jenna, and also for the reflection time provided by riding the bus. Buses here are much nicer than what I've experienced out west. Other than the guy on the phone with a friend who had slept with their brother, I think I'm the weird sketchy one that people are trying to avoid. I've decided to go to Yellowstone for a while after I leave Vermont. I'm very excited and curious to see the park not as an employee. From there I'm gonna head to Colorado before returning to Oregon. I've always wanted to drive across the country, and I guess I'm willing to do so on a greyhound bus. I guess this means that I should pick up some normal clothes and deodorant though, huh? I can't say enough how much the supportive messages, texts, comments and phone calls have meant to me. I am truly incredibly lucky to be loved by so many deeply amazing individuals. Sometimes you think you have your hand all figured out, and then someone throws down a wildcard. It all works.

After much debate over the past several days, I have made the toughest decision of my life and decided to stop hiking. It's been really complicated and complex and I'm not going to go into all the details here. It would be a lie for me to say I'm not worried that I'll regret this, but I believe things happen for a reason and that if I was meant to keep hiking, that would have been the choice I landed on. I don't really give up on things or quit or not succeed, and this feels like all of those things and is really challenging for me. However, I don't think it would have been right or fair for me to continue since my heart wasn't in it. This may be hard to understand as it's been my dream for about a year and a half, but there are several factors involved... this wasn't what I was dreaming about, at all really. And I'm realizing that I started really gripping onto this idea during a really dark time in my life when I needed a total escape and such as a looming future reward. I have changed so much since I latched on to this idea, and I just don't feel like I need the experience now like I felt I did then. My main reason for doing this was to prove to myself that I can do anything I set my mind to, no matter how hard and shitty it may be. I've realized though that I already know that. I've done that, and it didn't make sense to choose to do it again. The fact that I was able to say that it's okay not to finish this, that it's okay to stop and not succeed and (hopefully) be okay with that is a huge step for me. It doesn't make sense to spend so much money that I don't have to be miserable by choice, right? My second main reason was that I felt like I deserved a reward after finishing school. And this wasn't a reward for me. The personal traits and strengths I was hoping to gain were actually decreasing. I'm making the choice to let myself be happy and to do things that make me feel good. Another huge step for me. And physically it just wasn't working well for me. I didn't seriously mess up my ankle, but there was no hope of it getting better (and serious risk of it turning into something really serious) if I kept hiking, and taking many days off to heal up wasn't really an option. Again, everything happens for a reason. I feel really bad for bailing on Erin, especially since this was all my idea. But I'm positive she'll be great out here without me. If I thought leaving would be detrimental to her, I wouldn't do so. I know that I could have kept going and I could have finished this. I know that maybe it would have gotten much better and I would have come to love it and that finishing would have been an amazing moment and sense of accomplishment. But I wasn't willing to gamble that. Mentally, physically, and financially it didn't feel worth the risk. I'm working on viewing this as moving on, rather than as giving up. That's a tricky thing for me. I'm gonna ride the greyhound up to Vermont tomorrow to finally be reunited with my twin and teammate, which is a great feeling. I'm really glad that I'll get to spend a few days with her and recover from what's been a really hard stretch of time. I'm hoping to be able to get a job back in Yellowstone, and am toying with the idea of visiting on my way out west. Or maybe I'll get to enjoy an Oregon summer for a bit for the first time since high school. Who knows. I think the hardest part of this for me, so far at least, is feeling like I'm disappointing people. But I'm making this choice for me, another thing that's pretty new for me. I'm so moved by the support I've received. And can never thank all of you enough. I will probably continue to blog about things I learned while hiking and reflections and such. It's also pretty much guaranteed that in the almost full week I will spend on greyhounds across the country I'll encounter tons of craziness and will probably post about it. Gonna crash now, as the past twenty four hours have been some of the most emotionally exhausting in a long time.

Miles: 12; 176.6 miles total Today was hard but pretty good. I was really nervous about the climb out of town after hearing all these horror stories, and while it was by far the hardest mile we've done so far it went well enough. Did have to use hands a lot, but only one section of semi actual rock climbing, which was almost enjoyable due to the use of different muscles. It was really hard but also fairly rewarding and it was nice to get it done with after dreading it for three days. At the top of the ridge there was a really big rattle snake on the trail. Effing snakes. The hike afterwards was pretty nice. It was through this desolated ridgeline from when it was a zinc something. I'm bad at history. It was cool though and kinda reminded me of areas around the lake in Yellowstone. It was our first walk on an open ridge so there was a pretty nice view and lots of cool wild flowers I couldn't identify. The downside was that the sun was in full force with no tree cover and there were no water sources. Definitely got sunburned today and my arms are back to their wolf camp tan line glory. Speaking of wolf camp, everytime we walk by a patch of daisy I feel a little repressed anger, a lot of relief that I'm no longer responsible for trying to pull them out, and some amusement at the current interns; Lauren knows what's up. Anyway, it was a slow day and by four miles in my ankles really hurt. The right one hurts now from compensating for the left one (the one I fell on). We were planning on attempting to stealth camp by a spring that was over half a mile off the trail when we saw a different option in the guidebook. For ten dollars a person we could stay in this family's garage, take a shower with a towel, get shuttled to a restaurant, and get shuttled back to the trail in the morning. I called him and he even.offered to come pick us up at no extra charge. So we did that. They also have two.Dobermans so I've gotten some seriously needed dog time. They also gave us left over homemade Mac and cheese. This is probably the best ten bucks I've spent and another example of the amazing generosity that exists around the trail. We're planning a surprise trip into wind gap tomorrow where we can camp for free behind a bar and have access to the kitchen and all other sorts of stuff. Then it'll be another two short days to the end of this stupid state. Also today we were finally reunited with our gollum! I'm going to admit I was actually pretty pumped. Honesty time, the past few days have been really rough and I've almost quit. I need to thank the people I talked to during our illegal layover in the Palmerton jail (we never did check in). I'm still not really sure what the future holds for me as an AT hiker, but I'm gonna hope my ankle heals up once we're through the rocks and that I get better at not comparing myself to anyone else. It's hard to be proud of what I'm doing when I feel like I'm holding Erin back, but that's just something we're gonna have to work on. Last night we met another person pretending to be a southbound thru hiker who was clearly just a homeless person. He was uncomfortable but not as crazy and weird as the first two. Two elderly hikers and a guy our age were also there though, which was nice. The city had a really nice park that was very similar to central park but with a stream and fireflies. It was really nice. I had other things to say and now don't know what they were. Thanks for the support.

Miles: 1.2 (plus another 1.5 off trail into town); 164.6 miles total We’re currently sitting waiting for our laundry. We’ve both showered using actual bodywash, shampoo and conditioner and for the first time it what seems like forever, I smell good! Also starting to notice the onset of hiker tan lines. Weirdly, my right arm seems darker than my left, but the reverse is true for my legs. Palmerton is a great town. The people are very friendly towards us and we get to stay here for free. Had steak for breakfast when we got in around ten. The trail from the AT into town was a mess— it was literally a creek for a while that may have made my shoes dirtier and wetter than the trail has. We haven’t succeeded at getting in contact with the cops to register to stay in the hostel, so are maybe technically trespassing. We walked to riteaid to get shampoo and stuff and I picked up an ace bandage and currently have my ankle wrapped. I felt pretty stiff/sore this morning, but mostly okay. It’s extra weight, but I’ll probably keep the wrap with me for a while. Also picked up some bandaid blister pads, as the doctor scholl’s ones we got last time melt to either feet or socks (or both) and create a rather gross mess. I’m doing okay with blisters, but the toes on my left foot are a weird mess— the index toenail is still purple and gross, and the two next to it have both cracked. Not really sure what’s going on there. The hike out tomorrow looks and sounds really scary. But I’m gonna go grab the guidebook so we can plan our last few days over the rocks of Pennsylvania. Feels good to know we’re almost done here. Once we’re done with laundry we’re gonna figure out our food situation til Delaware Water Gap, and then go to dinner at a Chinese place down the street from the hostel. I am very excited about this. Speaking of food, Erin had some extra Mary Jane backpacking dinners and gave me an Alfredo pasta one that I loved more than anything. Just as a request. I’m also becoming increasingly fond of powdered drink packets. Letters are also real nice. I can’t even begin to express the gratitude I feel towards all the support I’ve been receiving. Those of you who have texted or facebooked me and those of you sending me food. And the random trail magic and encouragement from strangers. It’s all amazing. Even though it’s very hard, physically and mentally, even though sometimes it feels like it might kill me, even though there are times when I don’t know if I can do it and times when I just flat out don’t feel like I want to… I’m so glad to be able to be out here doing it. We’re closing in on 200 miles and the PA/NJ border, milestones I’m looking forward to. I’m also pretty curious as to if I will always dislike Pennsylvania, or if six months from now I’ll look back at these weeks fondly.

As a prize for the delay in this post showing up, here's a pic of my sexy socks and crocs. Walked around town like this all day. Zeroing tomorrow to rest my ankle and recover some mentally.

Miles: 16.8; 163.4 miles total. Woke up this morning and limped to the privy. Crawled back into my sleeping bag thinking it'd be a zero day. Talked with Erin and decided we'd do ten miles to a shelter. It would go over the knife edge, a famous boulder field that is just a little edge. My ankle hurt but as long as I stepped carefully it felt okay. We said goodbye to Porch and Kitkat, which was kinda sad. The knife edge was kinda scary and I came almost face to face with a copperhead. The entire trail today was super rocky. A mile away from the shelter we encountered a former thru hiker doing trail magic. Which was great because we were out of water and he had fruit and cold soda which was amazing. He told us not to stay at that shelter and promised that the hike after it wasn't rocky and was really easy. I knew Erin wanted to go on to town so I agreed to try and push on. By the time we got here I knew I had to stop though. Hope I don't pay for this too much tomorrow. We're just hiking three miles into town where we can stay for free in the basement of the jail. We can also shower, eat, and do laundry. We're sharing the shelter with three guys that are finishing a short section hike. I do wish I had been able to push on to town, but I'm kinda proud to have done almost seventeen miles today after falling yesterday. As long as I can still walk afterwards. Thanks for all the support last night. Please keep it coming for now. Laying down with my feet up on my pack. Battery is almost out. But will get to charge up tomorrow. Feeling nervous about how I'll feel in the morning. Also frustrated because if I hadn't fallen yesterday, we would be in town with all the other thru hikers.

Miles: 7.4; 146.6 miles total. After posting this morning the storm hit. I fell back asleep to thunder and pouring rain. Woke up around 9:30 to insane rain. Everyone else was waking up and debating what to do. We decided to zero, but then the rain stopped. By noon everyone had left, by almost one Erin and I decided to head out too. The start of the hike went pretty well. The trail was essentially a stream and I quickly realized it was going to be impossible to keep shoes dry. The climb that everyone was talking about was okay. I was going slow and feeling dumb until I finally just told myself not to. I realized this climb was easier than Mount Si and that I should be okay and them I was. At the ridge we hit our first boulder field of the day. I fell pretty hard a slick rock and messed up my ankle. The rest of the day was pretty rocky and slow and it really hit me mentally. This was the first time I seriously didn't think I could do it. I almost sat down on the trail and cried. I think my ankle is okay, but I'm worried about how it will feel tomorrow. Most steps are okay, but some result in waves of pain. I feel like an idiot for falling. I feel like I'm letting Erin down for not being better at this. I want to succeed, and even now I mentally feel better than while hiking, but I'm not feeling very confident about my ability to do this. I think it didn't help that it was so cloudy/misty/dark. But we're at the shelter now. Porch and Kitkat are here, along with another girl we met in Port Clinton. I'm glad the two other guys from the shelter moved on, as they were really obsessed with miles and pretty competitive seeming. Being here with them is helping boost my morale. They want us to go to Palmerston with them tomorrow, but I can't make it that far on these rocks yet. So this is probably our last night with them, as they want to start pushing real long days from now on. Erin seems to have accepted the name of "lil bit" as suggested by porch. That's all for now, as battery is gonna be getting low. As a tip, it's always nice to turn the phone on and have texts or Facebook messages. Out here little things make big differences at times. We'll see what tomorrow brings, hopefully an ankle I can successfully hike on.

Miles: 14.8; 139.2 miles total Didn't post last night because I was too tired. Even though it wasn't our longest day, it was still pretty long for us, included some climbs that still feel pretty substantial, and some really rocky areas. We also got into camp later than normal because in addition to our normal long lunch break (which we took by a creek on the grass in the sun at a state park) we also took two long breaks at different view points. The first view was nice, but the second view was awesome. We were hiking with Kitkat and Porch again, and have been enjoying hanging out with them for the past few days. All the talk yesterday was about this apparent massive storm coming in today. Some people were deciding to push big miles because of it, some people decided to take multiple zero days in Port Clinton. We all decided to come to this shelter, as it actually has four walls, there's a real toilet, and there's a faucet for water. You're not really supposed to stay at these types of shelters for longer than a night, but we were planning a group zero day here if the weather required it. The storm is supposed to have lots of lightning, severe winds and inches of rain, and hail. Personally, I find the idea of going over the rocks in hail nothing other than terrifying. It's hard to judge these situations, as of we waste a day here for no real reason that wouldn't be good, but getting caught out in a storm also would be bad. Everyone else is still asleep, but I think we'll probably figure it out as a group. Haven't talked to Erin but I'm thinking we might just take a short day and go to the next shelter, unless the weather starts getting worse. Our original plan was to tent about thirteen miles from here, but whenever possible I'd like to avoid tenting in the rain, and a short day really doesn't sound bad at all to me right now. Last night we all made dinner together and then played gin rummy until it was time to bed. A lady stopped by and gave us an amazing watermelon, so we got to enjoy that-- it really felt like summer. The shelter is right behind a house that a caretaker lives in, and he's kind of a weird guy so once again it was nice to have nice guys also staying with us. At some point during the night two others showed up, so now the shelter is full. In my experience hikers are usually up at seven at the latest, so it's kinda weird that everyone's still sleeping. Hiking yesterday was pretty good, there were many sections if the trail that were very smooth and nice, but of course there were also rocky sections. The weather was nice though. There were lots of day hikers out which also meant several dogs. Met a couple people who were just amazed at the idea of thru hiking, which felt kind of cool. At one point we were stopped looking at this little pond/bog thing full of huge frogs when this guy came up with his dog, asked if we were thru hiking, and then gave us tons of chocolate and encouraged us not to give up. He had done the AT a couple years ago and the PCT last year and we really appreciated it. Near the end of yesterday's hike we came across this creek that could have been a scene com Oregon, so we both just paused there for a little. As for the rest of our stay in town. This retired man drove us to Walmart in the next town and even had us call him to come pick us up when we were done. It was so nice. Got our food and I got my new trekking poles. That night was hard for me as I was just kinda stuck in a mental rut about not doing well enough out here, along with some other stuff. I was kind of worried about my morale while hiking, but most of the day was really good. My problem really is coming to terms with my speed. For whatever reason, I'm just unbelievably slow any time a hill (up or down) or rocks are involved. It makes me feel really bad about myself. I know I need to just accept that it's how I hike, but it's challenging for me. And it makes other things more complicated. Like, I love that we've made new friends, but I hate that they have to wait for me at places and see how slow I am. And if we're hiking today, I need to leave sooner than later because it takes me longer. I dunno, that's really the main thing I struggle with. Erin made me take top bunk which I hate. My guidebook just fell so I can't try and loom ahead to figure out what looks best for us. Big clap of thunder just happened. I kinda hope it storms, as the idea of just hanging out here today with the guys and resting actually sounds great. A couple days ago while hiking I was thinking about how hard this is. And I decided that struggling through the last two years of college made me into someone I liked a lot better than before doing so, and this makes me excited to see what I'm like once this is over. Though right now it kinda feels like it will never be over. But, we have something like 63.5 miles left in Pennsylvania. They're supposed to be the hardest and rockiest, but we're closing in our first state line. Granted, we won't have finished Pennsylvania, but it'll feel good nonetheless. Guess that's all. Thunder is rolling and rain is falling, so we'll see what today brings.

Miles: 9; 124.4 miles total Okay, I’ve heard all about the hiker stench, but I did not realize of was physically possible to smell this bad. After not showering for over a week at wolf camp I didn’t smell as bad as I do after being on the trail for three days. Hiking today I would sometimes smell myself and it would almost make me sick. Just showered and washed twice and think I might still smell (my shirt does for sure). My hiking clothes smell so bad that I put them in the hall until we can do laundry. Gross. Anyway, we’re in Port Clinton. Most of the group from last night is here, the girl went on to be picked up by some friends and one of the older guys went into a town that we’re about to visit to stay somewhere nice. This place is smaller than Winchester, but it let’s me charge my phone, shower, and drink gin and tonics in one building. We’re about to go to the post office to get our mail drops and hopefully my new trekking poles, then we’re going to Hamburg with Kitkat, Porch and Drew (the guys from last night). Thought we were gonna have to hitch hike, but looks like one of them found us a ride. Then we’ll do some laundry and then probably shower again as putting clothes on just made us smelly again. No mice activity in the shelter! It was really a good first shelter experience and this morning was perfect for hiking. The rain had cleared and it was sunny. The first couple miles of the trail were smooth and flat and off and on full of beautiful smells. It was a great day for hiking. Then it got rocky. The descent into town was super super super steep and just loose rock. Not fun. Especially since our shoes and socks were still wet from the day before; hello blisters!! That’s all for now, but I bet I’ll post later tonight. My update from Erin is a series of strange sounds…

Miles: 15.1; 115.4 miles total I'm laying in my sleeping bag in the shelter. We're really packed in, but it's a much better alternative than setting up and sleeping in our wet tents and putting them back away in the morning. So far I like the shelter. Two old men are here (gollum is one), two guys in their late twenties, another younger guy, and a girl around our age. One of them is playing music from his iPod, kinda bluegrass like. Sitting at the edge of the shelter, looking at the pouring rain, with laughter and conversation and music playing behind me I thought to myself "yeah, this is what I expected." Despite the bleak start, today was pretty good. Eventually I talked myself into packing up, and right on cue with finishing packing it stopped raining. We set off with ipods on. It was a rough beginning for me, but as we went it steadily improved. The middle miles of the day were going really well. Then I landed wrong on my foot again and really slowed down my pace and messed with my morale. But then we eventually reached the shelter. Probably have blistered feet from how wet it was today, and will get to put on wet shoes and socks in the morning. Don't know how far we're going tomorrow but will end up in Port Clinton. Shelter life seems interesting. I hope I don't do anything exceptionally weird in my sleep tonight. I also hope no mice crawl on me, but I guess wolf camp prepared me for it if they do. We were gonna camp in town, but rain is forecasted to continue so we'll see what happens. My feet hurt, but otherwise I feel good about today's hiking. One of the guys here offered to hang our packs up when he saw is struggling to do so, which I really appreciated. The other one was the first one to ask me any questions and things. I like this crowd more than the last bubble we were in briefly. We all did the exact same day today, everyone here came from the same place, and we weren't the last two to arrive and people have said their feet hurt. I think we both have higher morale today than we have in a while. Gollum gave Erin another name, Jane Doe. He's currently comparing his spam to guts. And just asked us what monkey meat is. And now is telling us that chipped beef on bread is called shit on shingles. Good times. Hope feet feel okay tomorrow. The shelter was a third of a mile off the trail. That counts as something at the end of our longest day. Thanks for the good thoughts.

Miles today: 11.4; 100.3 miles total Woke up this morning and immediately knew I did not want to get out of that bed. Once I got into the shower, I really didn’t want to leave there either. I wondered if Erin had started packing like she said she would and was not surprised to find her still sleeping. We had planned on being out of the hotel by seven, but didn’t leave the room til after 7:15. Eventually we were on the road but there were very very few cars and no one seemed interested in picking us up. But then a guy came out of his house and said he’d give us a ride. So he loaded us up into his truck and we were on our way back to the AT. I don’t think either of us were very excited. I had to be extremely careful with each step because I knew that landing wrong on my foot today had the sincere potential of being catastrophic. So I was going slow, which made me feel frustrated. Morale was very low and while I didn’t think about quitting, because I know I wouldn’t, I definitely felt the desire. I perked up a little when I found a baby bunny on the trail and hung out with it for a while. Should also mention that the trail for most of the day (when not over rocks) was through blackberry and wild rose bushes. Lots of little thorns. Then at a view point we found three snakes, we’re not sure what kind but they didn’t have rattles but had the venomous head shape. I volunteered to look at them (Erin found them). Shortly after this there was a large black rat snake off the trail. Later in the day there was a baby snake that was gray with a yellow band around the base of it’s head. Then I saw this huge black rat snake climbing a tree. We watched it emerge from one hole and climb up to another. It was horrific. Apparently they can be anywhere and no where is safe. I stayed pretty calm though— huge progress from roughly fifteen months ago when a rubber snake could make me freak out completely. We hung out at another view point for a while. My foot was hurting from going over the rocks, and mentally it had been a very up and down type of day. Didn’t sleep much last night and am very tired. This shelter is off of a road and you can have pizza delivered. Thought about cooking anyway but decided to take advantage of the opportunity and get a pizza. So I’m super full of white sauce pizza with grilled chicken, broccoli and spinach. The shelter also has a cat, so we got to pet and play with it for a while. We’re opting to tent because our gollum was waiting for us here. We were really hoping to have lost him during our town trip. Should probably clarify that we’re both pretty sure he’s harmless, just weird and uncomfortable. Erin is pleased that there don’t seem to be any cicadas here. We’ve done 100 miles now! That’s nothing in the grand scheme of things, but it’s something for the short term. Think we have a longer day tomorrow. Hope my foot feels okay. I’m rapidly becoming less intelligent out here. I was attempting to ask Erin if there was water in the spring and said something along the lines of “is does there this have water?” Erin’s accurate quote of the day: “standing is stupid.” Guess that’s all for now. Update: looked it up, the three snakes we saw were copperheads! They're pretty rare, so even I think that's kinda cool.

Miles: 0; 88.9 miles total Took a zero day today. Don't judge us for being weak and taking another already, we needed to. Erin really needed the mental break and some extended time away from the cicadas and my foot was hurting really bad. It seems to be improving and actually feels better with my shoe on than barefoot. We also needed time to finish up getting gear cleaned and food figured out. We were hoping to be able to get pictures uploaded, but had no such luck. Food is all worked out and we're three days away from picking up our next maildrop. Tomorrow we'll hit our 100 mile mark, which is nothing in the grand scheme of things, but I'm excited for it anyway. I'm glad we took today off, but am feeling pretty bored and am anxious/excited to be back on the trail, hopefully without rain. We're planning on being in shelters for the upcoming couple of nights though. Still no luck with finding either blisterpads or large bandaids, but did get some that seem like they have the potential of sticking. The hotel has a waffle maker so we can do some Carb loading in the morning. Gonna clean out my tent and pack up my bag and then just hang out. Will probably take another shower. Even though we'll be back in town soon we'll be camping then, so if you want to call, today's the best time to do so. Erin said I should emphasize how nice pillows are, which is soooo true. Like, a bed is great and all, but pillows are what really make a difference. She feels fine physically, just doesn't want to see the cicadas again. I'm trying not be discouraged that we needed another break today. Hopefully hiker feet develop soon. Buying food makes me even more appreciative of those of you sending food. And as always, grateful for all of your support, please keep the good vibes (no Lyme, good weather, and strong feet please).