A little bit of heaven

"🥪" is shorthand for "🍞🧀🍅🥬🍞"

I Always Smiled Darkly When I Saw The Thieves Attack The Palace

my least favorite literary smut turn of phrase is when a guy is like “im gonna ruin this pussy” “im gonna wreck this pussy for anyone else” like stop.. thats not yours…!

everytime u go outside ur spending $60 automatically its crazy $60 is the new $20

Stop buying food and coffee and make it at home. I'm begging everyone.

ok well i filled up my car with gas and got cat food for my cats so idk how this applies to me also the “don’t buy coffee anymore” thing is rlly annoying from ppl acting like buying coffee is the reason ppl r struggling to keep purchases under 20 dollars instead of capitalism inflating prices for shareholders to buy another five houses like. eventually yall gotta stop doing the “no more avacado toast!” thing to ppl bc there is no budgeting that is enough to outrun inflation

got the bus back home today and it was my fav bus driver, he let me on for free. went to tap my card but he just said 'beep!' and was like on you go. lol. then he nearly ran a red light and slammed on the breaks, almost sending the gaggle of older ladies at the front careening to the ground. he had to slam on the breaks and jolt the whole bus a second time later in the route because of a rogue lollypop man who'd come out because of roadworks. one of the old ladies said 'am glad ave nae got any eggs! ha ha!' and everyone on the bus laughed jovially. kind of a sitcomesque bus journey

I’m soooooo embarrassed. My lord told me “good night,” but I thought he was calling me a good knight, and, well, you could hear it clink against my codpiece.