Vivan le femmine, viva il buon vino!

“my child is fine” your child has had the same opera on repeat for more than two months because nothing else brings her joy anymore

she lets me hit because she hasnt memorized my attack patterns

playing fuck marry kill with my fellow monks and we’re just taking turns going “well. i wouldn’t do any of that.”

Girl whose most frequent mistake is inaction voice: wow I keep making mistakes I better not do anything

I'm going to fix everything in the next three hours everyone wish me luck. if i dont then probably ill dig a hole and lie down in it for a bit in the rain/sun/whatever outside looks like these days

the hole isnt even that bad

my name is Fucked Bastard and my special talent is not going to make it

recent epidemic of adaptations that take lots of liberties with the source material and also, separately, are bad. but then if you say "this is bad" you get hit with "you're just being a source material purist and you don't understand the vision"...like. well actually I think it rules when people do new and different things with classic works. I just think these particular new and different things suck ass.

posting on ig makes me feel like The Humiliation Victim

Your 20s are not about getting your life together they're about learning to escape the self imposed torture labyrinth you've built inside your own head

gender essentialism is soooo funny bc it's like "this is what women are like" and you're like "I've met women and many of them, if not the majority, have not been like that" and it's like "well women SHOULD be like that" and you're like "why should women be like that" and its like "because that's what women are like"

guy who watches looney tunes and gets scared and goes "what the fuck that's so messed up"

God will see you at the lowest point of your life, and say "what the fuck I thought I killed that thing." But you skitter too fast and you are too creepy.