block of jello

I love the idea that if Bruce had picked any other way to cope, Alfred would still have been ride or die for him. Bruce wanted to become a doctor? Alfred would be up helping him crunch before the MCATs at 3am. Bruce wanted to become an actor? Alfred would be enrolling him in all the best schools and getting Sir Ian McKellan to coach him. Bruce wanted to fight for the environment? Alfred would be showing him learn how to dismantle deforestation equipment. Alfred loves that boy but it's just Alfred's luck that his boy wants to dress like a Bat and fight crime with pointy boomerangs and a bitching car.

im quitting tumblr

ok see u tomorrow

this post is now 10 fucking years old

World Heritage Post

fuuuck I could use a mysterious benefactor right now

proud victim of the tumblr accent. it's fading out of public consciousness as the tik tok accent takes precedence; a linguistic evolution that makes the tumblr accent 85% funnier to unsuspecting civilians. it's like releasing a disease on a non-inoculated population. coughing baby versus hydrogen bomb.

modern social media should stop offering "sync with your phone contacts to follow them" options and start offering "block all your phone contacts so they never see your account" options

i know the way people talk about their pets now is probably how we’ve been doing it for all of history. a cat owner in ancient rome saw their cat lounging on the dining pillows and commented “he thinks himself to be the senator claudius 🤣”

A cinematic masterpiece.

I CANNOT stress enough that in the Spy Kids films, Danny Trejo is literally playing his titular character from the Machete movies, who happens to be the kids’ uncle, because the movies have the same director

what this reply misses is that Machete originated *in* Spy Kids. the Machete movies are Spy Kids spinoffs

I think it’s important to make clear that Robert Rodriguez, the director, says that Spy Kids and Machete are alternate universe versions of each other , while Danny Trejo, the actor, says that what happens in Machete is just what he does when he’s not hanging out with the kids

There are a lot of reasons to oppose monarchy but one of the most overlooked is that the king is always getting stuck in some kind of hazardous puzzle chamber filling up with gravel or lava or something. Do your fucking job man

Shout out to Characters who are shells of their former selves! You died and you’re not coming back! You don’t recognize yourself and neither does anyone else, and it’s anyone’s guess what the fuck you’re supposed to be now!

things will work out + it’s still early + not everything is lost + trees

LOTR abridged

It's literally crazy luck that I've only ever come across nails ever since I got my hands on my awesome hammer

You know that thing would eat you if you died, right? *pointing to the false image of you that others perceive*