By Name and By Nature

A melting glacier (Theodul) in Switzerland has revealed the artefacts of a wealthy 16th-century traveler. The man was discovered with an expensive sword and dagger along with an early wheel-lock pistol and approximately 200 silver coins.

Oh that's easy. It's my usual rant about how every few fucking years, we have another terrible Medieval TM movie/TV series made by Some Guy who declares, with utterly baffling certainty, that everything in the medieval world was grey/filthy/rapey/misogynist/racist/violent/terrible/diseased/idiotic/illiterate all the time, and therefore they are just being Historically Akkurittt!!! by making said movie as the most tedious and monotonous pile of ill-informed tripe imaginable. Everything in Medieval World bad!!! Everything in Modern World good!!! Historikkal Progggressss!!!! LOL DONTCHA KNOW IT WAS JUST A BUNCH OF IDIOT FILTHY CAVEMEN! THEN THE RENAISSANCE HAPPENED AND YAY EVERYTHING WAS GREAT AGAIN!

Like. Obviously the medieval world was complex!! Both good and bad things happened because!!! Obviously humans are ALSO complex!!! But they are still people in any place and time!!! Obviously 1000 years of history across the entire world was not a monotonous monochrome rape-fest, as we have in our countless tales told by idiots!!! Obviously we cannot just generalize because it isn't as Seksssy as Ancient Romans Having Orgies or The Renaissance, and trust me, WE ALSO HAVE THOUGHTS ABOUT THE RENAISSANCE (DEROGATORY!!!) Why do we have every moron in Hollywood making confident proclamations as if they've actually studied this and are So Sure they're correct when they are dramatically not? Why are we so scared of letting the medieval world be more than a cliche? Why are we so fixated on medieval Europe (answer: racism) and think of it as the only possible medieval world? HAVE YOU MORONS HEARD OF MEDIEVAL AFRICA/ASIA? MEDIEVAL/PRE-COLUMBIAN AMERICA? AND EVEN THE VAST COMPLEXITY IN MEDIEVAL EUROPE ITSELF?? NO I DIDN'T FUCKING THINK SO, YOU MISERABLE COCKWAFFLES!!!!

HOW HAVE WE ALL JUST ABSORBED THIS BY OSMOSIS??? WHY DO I HAVE TO READ ONE MORE GODFORSAKEN INTERVIEW WITH SOME IDIOT ACTOR EARNESTLY ASSERTING THAT THEY ARE "DISPLAYING THE REAL MEDIEVAL WORLD?" WHY DO WE HAVE MOUTHBREATHING NAZIS ON TWITTER WAILING LIKE A LITTLE BITCH WHENEVER A BLACK PERSON APPEARS IN A PERIOD SETTING (ANSWER: ALSO RACISM). WHY ARE YOU ALL SO STUPID??? SHUT UP! SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!!!!

/deep breaths

In conclusion:

On Monday, from 1:30 PM to 1:37 PM, several residents have volunteered to host a brief tutorial in the laundry room for anyone interested in learning more about proper use of the equipment.

That is a leviathan passing beneath the ice of my peaceful fishing hut if ever I saw one.

The passive-aggressive nature of declaring it will take only seven minutes, but precisely seven minutes, for people to actually learn how to use the laundry room is amazing (I'm figuring five minutes to present and two minutes for questions).