coolstoryelvia

Anyways kids please don't try to grow up so fast and be adults it freaking sucks!

It sucks having mommy and daddy issues at the age of 28 and wanting to go back in my innocent child days and scrams til my voice would be gone PLEASE PAY ATTENTION TO ME AND PUSH ME OUT OF YOUR LIVES NO MATTER WHAT! AND BE SUPPORTIVE OF MY AMBITIONS

He doesn't even know what my favorite show is either! But he sure does know who I'm following on Instagram

I wish my bf now would put work aside and hang out with me and get to know me for once... He thinks and acts like he knows me inside and out but in reality he doesn't even know what my favorite color? Want to know his? It's blue in fact, royal blue at that!

Ive looked up therapist but I don't have those extra $140 month laying around

I just wish my life wasn't bad and i had someone i could talk about my mental health and let me know why I am the way I am

I always thought we would end up growing up hold but in reality we grew out of love together even though he said he could work things out and he would change... P.S. he never did (he still DMs me while he has a gf and says how much he misses me)

He knows the good and the bad and the great things about me isn't that sad? Lol what is my life?

And to be honest the only person who truly knows who I am? Is my ex of 8 years who cheated on me for 8 years behind my back.......

Who is Elvia? Idk who she even is....

I wish I could talk to my about my mental health and problems in my life but that'll be like talking to someone who hates me but still my friend because they want to know about my life......

When I say 'friends' I mean 3 that I only talk to when it's interesting to talk. They know me more than my own family does... It's like we're strangers living in each other's lives when there's s birthday or a celebration I hate it and I hate that my parents raised us that way and the reasoning for my teenage rampage and skipping school and not graduating highschool bc my own mother didn't even believe in me unless it was for her own gain

And I get sad because my boyfriend gets along with his siblings and talks to them on the daily and I see these big smiles from ear to ear WISHING I had that sibling love and having to be able to talk to them in a heartbeat but, to tell you the truth. My oldest brother, I don't know him... He's a stranger to me, I teenage him but this adult version? I don't know who is or what he likes to do or what his favorite food his.... And now that they want to try to be in my life I don't crave their attention or advice but my own or friends

Anyway, as what I'm trying to say is waking up blank and not knowing what exactly I'm suppose to be doing with my life. I fell in dark hole or as i would like to say woke up with a very dark cloud following me everywhere. And then I started thinking about how I have not one but 4 older siblings and have pushed me aside from their lives since I was at the age of 13 and 15 literally in my teen years....