Tasty Boots

It genuinely seems like there’s two parallel universes going down here. You get on one hand ayrton and his whole “Alain was whiny and keep burning bridges the whole time and he and the fia was being difficult and borderline wrong for how they treated me” and the fucking, not even kidding borderline psychotic thriller picture that was painted in the Folley book. Alain sounds haunted and the analogy of senna hunting down Prost in a way was extremely consistent throughout the book.

One has access to accounts that only knew ayrton and one had accounts that knew both at the same time. One has ayrton down as this extraordinary individual with genuine care and character yet at the same time Hilton was like “ayrton senna was a master manipulator” at the same breath and you’d get. What ever fascinating horror ayrton is in the Folley book on the other hand. Then you get barely anything about why Alain was acting in the Hilton books with just clear emphasis on ayrton’s side that Alain was just being a difficult guy and the accounts of Alain and those who knew both sounding a lot like Alain was some kinda survivor under the horrors of ayrton and his kill or be killed thing to win.

Really makes you wonder which one’s closer to the truth but unfortunately mayhaps both is true at the same time for them. And you look back and forth between these books and you think what the actual hell went down here. Both books were made around the same time yet tell such insanely contradictory stories. We got two of the most unreliable narrators in sport history (one dead and one lives) and it’s quite difficult to place the trust here. And that’s why they’re so much more than just. A simple rivalry. Like wow.

Will we ever know truly what went down in complete detail? Nah. But it’s extremely fascinating how conflicting these two perspectives are. And don’t get me wrong it’s clear which books favor which driver. Both their hypocrisy towards some details should be acknowledged.

Moreover I’m not really convinced that Ayrton will keep acting like “Ayrton” towards Alain had he indeed came back it would be back to “senna” (perhaps less intense version) but I’m sincerely not sure why Alain even entertained that idea. You know this guy. You know how this goes, why does he even pick the phone up is completely clueless to me. I think Alain does indeed hold a lot of love for Ayrton (and so does Ayrton but his thing might be a bit more complicated) that he either: 1: genuinely think the second time it would get better OR 2: they are so trauma bonded Alain feels kinda responsible. Like he had to be there because of what ever mysterious thing Ayrton has confessed over the phone about how and why he did things.

You’re literally been convinced by a guy who high key would pull the whole thing again had you came back and keep making you the target.

In this essay I shall talk about how Alain is equally if not more insane about Ayrton (maybe Suzuka 90 messed Alain up a bit.) (gets shot) 💀 after their whole thing went down. It’s like the bridge dilemma that makes you feel closer to someone you experienced danger with but don’t even ask where this danger came from. That again I’ve never been in a psychosexual rivalry with perhaps the most charming yet intense handsome mysterious guy I’ve ever met so.

Highly personal take on the whole thing: I think Ayrton is being genuine these 6 months and had he lived it would continue. But I sincerely think the end goal was still to have Alain around the track (best scenario he’s back in the car and he can continue their little tango before because he’s still >1 world title and wins away from beating Alain statistically.) or just around his life in general. Alain is a bit difficult to place in his life. Like, looking at his suitcase you can see this guy likes to be organized and know where things are in his possession and Alain just simply do not fit in any of the categories he has for people in his life, too close to be called just an rival, too removed from his life and bad blood between them as a friend. Where does Ayrton want Alain in his life we would never know but for sure those 6 months of sweetness between them indeed comes from the sense that Ayrton must do something or else Alain will slip away and then he’d truly have no chance.

And Alain must have felt SOMETHING to even pick up and answer the damn phone. I’m just not sure what that something is. Surely it’s more complicated than simply love or something.

Completely Woke: that said it never happened. At least as far as we know. they are already in a room full of explosives and things have went off before (89,90) but “actually act out on the sexual tension” for a hyper religious, traditional Brazilian with honest to god control issues and a (also religious) traditional French dude who is literally being hunted DOWN and doing everything not to be hunted down is like asking them to set off an hydrogen bomb. Could it have happened had they got more time? Maybe. Would it take a lot to get there? Yes. Would acting it out completely blitz them and they’d have to literally start from scratch? Yes.

Mega woke: they just might be a secret third thing that absolutely transcends the need for stuff beyond platonic relationships. Why act it out when you’re already soulmates in the best and worst way possible. They’re not even that platonic. Crashing yo car at ungodly speed into someone else and forcefully crashed someone when you see a gap has completely transcended them into a secret third thing that lies somewhere beyond platonic but yet not physical relationship. Like everything else they do they just got to do it in the most fascinating and difficult way as possible. They’re already in a wagon of their own making running out of control but to add “that” ontop of their mess would just make the wagon go a whole level of crazy.

I think the lovely thing about Ayrton and Alain is that I (and many others) was lured in thinking this is just a tragic (love) story but nobody prepared me for the genuine insanity and horror these two had going on on track because to be honest it takes a special kind of insanity from both sides for them to come this far.

Like, what do you mean you think it’s a good idea to leave the door open and close it on someone you know would go for the gap and literally willing to kill or be killed for an championship.

What do you mean next year you ran at an ungodly speed right into your ex teammate while both of you could have died (and put others at extremely high risk).

What do you mean in the end they worked it out because honest to god like I love Alain but I would never understand how he did not hang up on ayrton when he was calling him. Like. That man could have killed you. HE DID COME VERY FUCKING CLOSE. You know what he is like and you still picked up that damn phone up and do not even get me started on Ayrton insisting Alain to come back because man you literally almost committed manslaughter because of your beef with fia and Alain.

The crazier thing is Alain actually tried testing for McLaren. I actually need to know how the hell Ayrton managed to get Alain to even think about coming out of retirement. He must be having insane game or Alain might be a bit crazy about him too because how the hell do you get someone who you came very close to killing on track to be on friendly terms on you again. I think had he given more time he would actually make sure Alain is back on the track.

Personal side note I think it’s unfortunate that because of what happened to Ayrton he kinda gets “purified” in a way because he’s really something else on the level of being intense and because of what happened to him being killed young and stuff his intensity and a lot of his more aggressive and downright borderline unacceptable traits were overlooked and so is Alain don’t get me wrong as much as he endured he is not the complete victim as it seems. It takes two to tango.

And do not get me started on his unreliable narrator status being erased because of the things he endured and all the people he lost like love. We know you’re leaving a lot of things out but if it looks this fucking intense and insane from an outside perspective let’s just imagine what actually went down.

Don’t get me wrong they are indeed one of the most tragic thing that we would ever see but. I think high time we need to acknowledge how insane these two are. As silly and fun and as tragic and romantic as they come they in the end are two extremely intense men (Ayrton a lot more) that put each other in genuine danger and hellish situations. Absolutely a hundred percent soulmates but personally I cannot help but want to see their less than savory sides being explored more. It is indeed a beautiful story but as beautiful as it come it comes with a whole lot of insanity and to remove it it would not be so complete and beautiful as it actually went down.

Credit to: 一个低尚的人 on rednote.