do you sleep anymore? @whoaohohh - Tumblr Blog

i’m so sick of the pain

#i wish itd end #trying to think about the times i felt joy for life and hold onto them

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i’m so fucking depressed

i feel so lost and alone

i am so thankful for God & the peace he’s filled me with concerning my near future at the moment

i feel so lost with people though

i pushed so many people away and now the few i have i feel like i reach so much out to them & they don’t reach back?? what am i doing wrong

i wish i had more confidence and had more figured out

i wish people would still respect my opinions & what i have thought out though instead of looking down on me because i’m not always confident, it doesnt mean im stupid

idk

life is so intimidating

i’m really really trying now

i’m trying to actively acknowledge i have issues that force me to constantly remind myself & be aware of the push i have to give myself

i’m trying to come out of my comfort zone and push myself

i’m trying to face and deal with all my issues but they can’t be solved over night its things i have to work through & work out

i hate when people look at things so black and white

so much

why can’t there be a combination of things, working hard & focusing w some fun? to me that makes sense if your priorities are right, because i think if you know yourself/what drives you that you should utilize it

people never wanna talk about something i’m into but always wanna do vice versa, some people give such little fucks about me/my interests its a trip?? but then want you to listen to all theirs

i’m so fucking depressed

its so hard to think of my future i dont gwt it

i dont understand why its so hard for me to be motivated or happy

i dont understand why life is so miserable to me

everyone else deals with it and goes through so much why i am so fucking weak

so fucking weak that i feel like being dead is the best way out because i can’t imagine being able to get through all of this

theres so much i wish i did differently i wish i had someone ehlping me

i wish i was better about my faith because i feel so fucking alone

i cant stop crying

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i get so easily overwhelmed

i hate my job so much and want to quit so so sooo badly

but then i see my phones getting worse & i know i’ll need a new one

i need a fixed or new laptop

i have so many bills to pay

i’m so fucking overwhelmed

i work myself so fucking hard

it’s never enough

& what’s the fucking point??? what’s it for?????

#theres 3 people right now that keep me from wanting to die #im so thankful for them #& i just need to learn to trust God #& remember he has a plan #it can just be sooo hard

i’m so fucking depressed

i have so little joy in my life or reason to work hard and live

it’s so fucking hard to push on

i feel so fucking alone

#i feel like i only have one legit friend

i wanna be a better person:(

i wish i thought more of the impact of my words constantly

focused on me more

found joy in more things

had my life and priorities together

i dislike who ive become so much

i feel so alone and lost and empty

but i know i need to pray & trust in God

He’s done socmuch for me after how terrible the last couple of weeks had been

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when will i start seeing the benefits of all the fucked up stuff that made me so fucked up:((((

i literally can’t handle looking at myself, my havits, how or who i am, or anything it’s so fucking hard

i’m so unhappy

so so unhappy

with so much

and so hurt

i just wanna run away

i wanna start over

:(

x

#ive either had to dropvpeople #or the people in my life have made me feel like shit #have only seen my boyfriend on our days off #he barely seems to care #no one else really seems to care much anymore #so why tf am i even around #i wish i could get to the numb stage of hurting faster

i feel so FUCKING ALONE

i wish i knew a way to heal from things instead of just avoiding thinking of them completely

even my cat, there’s a wall when i think about her death that i haven’t let myself get past since the night she died. cus i know if i think about these things i’ll cry & it’ll hurt too much. it’s probably unhealthy to avoid

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idk why but it would mean so much to me if my closest people told me happy birthday right at midnight if they're awake. but my two bestfriends are together & my boyfriend is with my other old friend. & they're so sweet & dedicating their whole weekend to me. but instead my dumb ass is crying bc i'm alone & they're all together & no ones said it

but i use to always call my old bestfriend right at midnight cus it's so sweet

gusty

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do you sleep anymore?