I'm Late!

Whitley Rabbit || Thirty-Two || Waiter || Non-Magical

tw anxiety and panic attacks

@whitrabbit​

Atta didn’t wear hats often. Today, she was wishing she hadn’t worn one at all. Unfortunately for her, the wind had picked up later on in the day, and a strong gust had whipped the hat clean off her head! She was now chasing it down the street, shouting for someone to help her by catching it. 

“Oh! Sir! Please!” She pointed to the hat that was about to slide right past the stranger. “My hat!”

.

Whit was walking down the street, not really paying attention to anything. It was a nice day, a little windy. That was really all that was on his mind when he heard someone call out to him. Whit turned and saw her, quickly following where she pointed, and saw the hat starting to make its way down the sidewalk. There was a moment he panicked and almost just froze there, but he quickly snaps out of it and hurries the few steps the hat had gotten away from it, grabbing it before the wind could carry it further. He turns back to her, walking over with the hat in hand. “H-Here you go. Sorry I didn’t get it faster. I... I hope it didn’t get anything on it. You know, like... from th-the ground.” Fuck he needed to get better at talking to people. 

Beth sighed as he stammered on, focusing her gaze on her rose instead of his face. She wanted to throw the rose in his face actually, but that would be waste. So instead she just waited for him to get his words out before she continued. “I need you to steal something from Wonderland, actually. So this should be painfully easy for you since your bosses are idiots and don’t really like to keep watch of anything of importance. I’d be surprised if this wouldn’t be a little bit like finding a needle in a haystack…” 

She trailed off to let the initial shock of the location settle in. Surely he couldn’t be surprised, but she really doesn’t know anymore. “I want the deed to Wonderland. I want to take it myself, forge some signatures, and get control. I am tired of waiting for someone to drop dead.” She almost laughed at the thought. “So…we need to get this done soon. You should know where it is if you have been doing what you were supposed to be doing there. So no problem. Am I correct?”

.

He freezes a bit when she asks him to steal from Wonderland. From his friends. His home. Whit blinks, processes, looking down into his cup for a moment. He knows he can’t say no. He doesn’t think he wants to say no. And he should’ve known it’d come to this eventually. Whit focuses hard on not shaking. Staying as calm as he can when he’s already starting to stress. 

He takes a long sip of his tea as she continues, listening. Nodding along. Of course that’s what she wanted. At least she didn’t ask him to kill someone, he has to tell himself. He nods a bit. “I... Y-Yes, I know where it is.” He’s pretty sure its just in the bottom drawer of one of their desks. Under a bunch of other papers. In a place where anyone who had it in them to think about the importance of such a document would hate to see it. But he knows them enough to know that it was just a piece of paper. Whit looks up at Beth. “How soon is soon?” he asks, setting his cup down. 

“Would you sit already you incompetent twit?” she says, her tone annoyed more than angry even though her words were sharp with the command. Taking a small breath she gestures to the cup in front of him. “Sip. It’s a new blend.” She took another sip herself, letting the aroma calm herself before continuing. “You’ve been doing a terrible job lately, Whitley. I don’t like seeing my assistant of all things being so bad at their job. I could replace you at any moment at this rate and you wouldn’t even notice.” She looked right into his eyes as she spoke, not wavering her intense gaze for a moment. “But. Family friend and whatnot, I give you chance after chance. And now I think there is something I need you to do for me that is of utter importance. Do you think you can handle such a task?”

She stands up before he can answer her and plucks one of her roses off the wall that grew around them. “Each rose is of importance. There is no error for mistake when one of these are given to another. The effects range and you know the rest…” She trailed off for a moment, loving stroking the petals of the rose in her hand despite the thorns sticking into her hand where she held it. “This rose has the potential to increase speed and agility. And I want to give it to you because I need you to steal something for me.” She looked back at him. “Are you capable of doing something so easy?”

.

She snaps at him and he sits quickly, doing his best not to flinch. But he did, just a little. Well, maybe that would appease her just a bit--remind her that he’s still afraid of her. He takes a sip of the drink in front of him. It’s good but he’s barely paying attention to how it tastes. It could taste like shit and he’d still drink all of it if she told him to. Especially when she’s in a mood like this. He doesn’t want to disappoint or upset her anymore. And it sounds like he’s been doing a pretty shit job at his job. “I’m sorry, I’m--” he trails off as she gets up, watches her go to the roses.

He watches how gentle she is with the flower. The only thing she’s ever really gentle with. Her flowers. He nods as she explains them to him, stuff he knew, stuff he wouldn’t forget because of how important it was to her. 

Beth asks him to steal something. Which isn’t new. He’s done that before. But not like this. He nods before really considering. What could she want him to steal that would require this. What would happen if he failed. “I can do it,” he says softly. “I... I’m r-really... Beth, I know I’ve let you down, I know... I know I’m n-not... But I’ll do b-better. I promise I can do this-- I w-will do this. Y-You can count on me.” He’d already disappointed her too much. He didn’t want to disappoint her more. “I... I’m sorry for letting you d-down, Beth, but I... I can do this.” Then, after a pause. “Wh-what do you need me to get?”

@whitrabbit​ location: beth’s rose garden

Beth has been in a foul mood. She heard her sister was around and about Wonderland, and it only made Beth more determined to speed up her plans. So she invited Whitley for tea as she often did when she needed things from him. Ever since their brief tension, she knew she could twist that to her advantage and was sure to do as much. It took entirely too long in Beth’s eyes for Whitley to make it to tea, and she sipped at her own cup slowly.

“Glad to see you know how to get here,” she said, clearly unamused. “Did something more important come up?”

.

Things had been complicated lately. Everything he did felt like it was wrong, he felt out of place everywhere he went. His anxiety was higher than it had been in a long time. Things had just been weird. They hadn’t been the same. He doesn’t even know what sort of normal he was looking for because he can’t remember the last time his life felt normal. But this was far from that for more reasons than he could pinpoint. And after hearing what happened to Alice, he’d just felt sort of lost on so many other things. Worrying about her more than his usual way of fretting over her when she wasn’t doing well. So when Beth texted him, he wasn’t quick to respond. Not because he wanted to leave her hanging but because it just took him a moment to get going; it took him longer to feel motivated to get moving than he knows Beth would’ve liked. 

He wasn’t any later than he usually was, though. He arrives to find her already sitting in her favorite spot, sipping on tea. He could tell she wasn’t in the best mood just from the air around her. “Of course I know how to...” Whit starts almost earnestly when he quickly trails off, clearing his throat, continuing with a different thought. “N-No. Nothing more important. I-- I can’t think anything that’d b-be more important.” Whitley walks over to where she sits, standing awkwardly next to a chair for far too long, trying to figure out if its okay for him to do so. “Wh-What can I... H-How’ve you b-been?” he asks awkwardly, finally sitting down.

He raises his glass in response, "And what will it take for you to learn that I really fucking don't."

"I know I am... I wish they would go find someone better than me; someone their age. I... that's what they deserve, they deserve so much better than I c-could ever be. I... It would be great if they wanted to be with Mabel, I think th-that would be..." he glances down at his cup for a moment, falling silent as he does. Whit takes a long breath before continuing. "Chace deserves the best and I know th-that's not me, s-so, if you can convince them t-to go on a-and be with Mabel o-or anyone else, then g-go for it. I j-just... I just want them to be happy."

"Um.... I'm not...I-- I guess, um, well, I'm attracted to Chace. Th-They are um... pretty attractive to me. A-And I mean... S-Sometimes I guess Beth is, um, well, she's not ever unattractive... And I guess my, um, my roommate is also not unattractive, i just... Um-- I... I know a lot of attractive people, it's... I'm attracted to a lot of them, I don't know, why does it m-matter to you?"

“I dunno... I g-guess-- I guess I’m just a s-selfish prick? I... I don’t want to be messing w-with their feelings. I just... I don’t fucking know, okay?” Whit takes a long sip of his drink.

He knows that’s true. He’s always been there, he’s seen sides of her that he’s not sure she’s shown other people. And he wonders if its because she trusted him to see them or because he just happened to be who was there. “I have. A-And I hope to continue to do that. To know you--to know you well. It’s... I like knowing you the best. M-Makes me feel like I have some sort of use.”

“She’s… intimidating. I’ve… I’ve known her and w-worked for her for so long though, I… sometimes I see glimpses of wh-who she is besides angry and mean. And… I dunno. I think I’m afraid of the day when I don’t work for her anymore. Or that sh-she’s done with me. Because if… I dunno, I’m scared of what she’ll do and I guess In a way what m-my life will be like w-without her in it?”

“Whenever she gets like… a l-little too upset with me. The times where I th-think ‘oh, this is it, she’s ac-actually gonna k-kill me this time.’ A-And whenever she sends me to watch someone I k-know could easily hurt me, that’s always stressful.”

His face heats as he looks into his glass. Wishing he had more, wishing it had been something stronger. “I… y-yes. I am. I… I dunno, I— if they… I don’t know why they w-want to be with me, if I-I’m honest. Th-They deserve someone better. I don’t…” he tries to think about why he’s with them and he can’t. He doesn’t want to. Thinking about that… “I guess I d-don’t know why I’m with them. I guess he’s fun… and—and they’re attractive and outgoing and exciting and interesting. I… we—We’re friends, and it’s…” he finishes what little he has left in his glass, taking a breath, trying to steady his heart rate. Whit continues quietly, looking at the counter. “They’re everything that I’m not and I… I don’t know. I just… I really don’t know.”

“I…. She’s nice. Sh-She’s a good kid who’s just… she needs more good in her life. I w-worry about her a lot. I always w-wish I could do more to help her.”