✿sarakura✿

I'm really into this guy who doesn't want anything other than "a bit of fun" and it is making me sad because I keep thinking about him. He talks to loads of other girls too. Do you have any advice? I'm really upset about it. Sorry to bother you, you just seem really kind

@lumos-vs-nox   This is referred to as “mild suicidal ideation“ or the desire for suicide without substantial action behind it. It often happens when someone deals with prolonged mental health issues and suicidality at a young age. When you’re young, we go through a period where our neural pathways completely rearrange- the things that happen to us at that time will influence these changes. In a way, suicidal ideation becomes an ingrained coping mechanism. A sort of “well at least suicide is always there for me”. Your brain is part-muscle, it remembers things, it learns, it’s super great at adapting, this is just a reflex. It doesn’t mean you are weak, it doesn’t mean you aren’t in recovery.

I don’t mess around or play games. I don’t believe in them. I just want honesty. I’d rather wake up one morning and say, “You know what? I had a really terrible dream that you were fucking someone else. Can you love me extra today?” instead of getting in a fight about some stupid shit and then at the end of the day being like, “Okay, can I tell you why I’ve been acting like this?” I’d rather say “Heads up” than “I’m sorry” later. Your relationship is supposed to be the safe place.