miss. Barista

I wasn’t on the picture, yet with all the group pictures that we had, this one, is my favorite. I was the one standing behind the lens. On this event we shared about our cultures and showcased our hidden talents on an actual STAGE. I mean, on the other events that we did we’ve always shared a bunch of stories about home, but its always different when its recorded and you’re on stage. (if you wanna listen to it, check out https://soundcloud.com/rhymz_suhreal) It was really entertaining. We definitely had an awesome summer. It was even sad to see everyone go. What were they here for? They are exchange students from different countries (we call them j1′s, as for the name of their visa). I, too, was a j1 before. So every summer season, a bunch of j1′s come to the dells to experience (the chaos, just kidding :D) summer. For three months they get to work and travel. It is usually a part of their school program too. A few years back, BPMC started ministering for the J1′s. And so this ministry was born. And I had the privilege to be a part of it, summer of 2017. So, what our leaders do is they set up different events/gathering every weekdays, from Monday through Thursday, involving the J1s and bringing good community and friendship to them. I, personally made a lot of friends, too. We all had different backgrounds and beliefs and culture but we shared it with each other with no judgement and just accepting and encouraging each other in whatever walks we were in, especially when it comes to faith. We shared problems, we helped out each other, we supported one another in the best way we could. And it was very humbling. I also got to witnessed how the Lord worked though the hearts of those who didn't really know Him. I saw them believing and calling Jesus as their Lord and savior. I saw the joy in their eyes when they shared about the first time they ever read the bible; the first time they even believe on anything at all (there are some who didn't believe in God at all). I was really happy that I get to share my faith with them. Talk about touching lives! They absolutely touched my heart, and I know that I’ve touched theirs, somehow. And I saw growth in me, as a Christian. The same goes for the j1 ministry team. We became no more than His vessels through that summer. And they may have left but I know that in their hearts they will always remember the Dells and will always find that seed of desire to seek Him and know Him more. And I am grateful that God let me be a part of the planting. It was encouraging for me to have encouraged them. It was an experience I will never forget. <3

I just wanted to share how God’s been working in my life for the past month. I honestly don’t know how to start. Things has been so great, lately and I couldn’t find the words to say how grateful I am with everything. When I went back here in the Dells, my relationship with the Lord was not very good. I was filled with guilt and shame. Inside me, it felt like I was so far away from God. It always felt like there was something missing, I wasn't really happy with whatever is going on with my life at those moments. Though, a lot of people might say that I have a really pleasant life in the position that I was in at that time. Truly, you could have all the material things you want in life, but only the Spirit of God can satisfy you. I wasn’t contented. The desire was there, the faith is there, though so little. I knew I needed to do something to fill those gaps between me and the Lord. I started coming to Church again. In the hope to reconnect. (the closer you draw to God, the closer He draws to you, they said) This Church, was the one I was introduce to, last year, but I completely ignored and didn't went to. I didn't know anybody. I felt His sovereign hand guiding me cause my day off from work was Sunday and soon enough, I got introduced to some people and I felt really welcomed. I told myself, I gotta be consistent to this now. So, no matter how tired I was from work, I never stopped coming to Church. It has been a series of ups and downs. From work problems to family issues, and self-related struggles. And in between those is also me, being a part of the worship team, having to minister with the other J1 students, doing sunday school, and discipleships! (plus the coffeeshop) I am just so happy that all through out all those, God never left me. Even when I was not reaching out to Him, He never abandoned me. He was quietly and patiently waiting for me to call Him. I was brought to a place where I wasn't alone but I felt lonely. And in those moments I knew I needed Him the most. It’s amazing to think how perfect His timing was. I tried to have it my way, but it just wont workout. And when I let Him, that's when I see things a lot clearly. The fog was gone, along with the shame and guilt. It felt like I was redeemed again. Have you ever felt so weary and then all of a sudden the burden was lift off of your shoulder? that's what I am feeling right now. It’s like I went through the process of being sanctified and truly understanding what it meant to fully commit into following Him. I fought my own battles, even my own demons, but just like the story of the footprints in the sand, when I thought that He was not there, that's when He was actually carrying me. Now that we’ve reach the shore, He gave me a pat in the shoulder and said “Child, we gotta sail the ocean.” and then it stirred me up, I am not sure if I’m ready for this but I trust you and wherever you lead me now, I will follow. ‘Cause, now, I understand, this is why we exist... 

na noon pa man inuuna nya ko, bago sya. bago ang sarili nya. hindi ko sya inintindi non, hindi ko nakikita ang mga sakripisyo nya. akala ko mahina sya, pinapalakas nya lang pala ako. baka huminto sya hindi dahil ayaw nya, kundi dahil gusto nyang ako ang mauna. naniwala sya sa kakayahan ko, pero hindi ako naniwala sa kanya. imbis na tulungan ko sya, pinamukha ko pa na hindi nya kaya. at yon ay dahil lang sa pakiramdam ko angat ako ng kaunti sa kanya. masyado siguro akong nag-alala, na baka sa dulo, di na kame magpang-abot pa. na dahil sa kakapauna niya sa ken, huling-huli na sya.

Eto yung moment na, feeling mo you're in deep and wala kang makapitan, you just pray, cause that's all you could do. And then all of a sudden, all the burdens from your shoulders are lifted up. May good news na dadating, na di mo expect. And mapapa Wow ka na lang, kasi pinagpray mo pa lang to kanina ehh. And now this... God answering your prayers. Could you count the times when God made you so speechless.. this is one of those moments. And I just wanna share how awesome our God is.. To you, who is probably struggling right now, I want you to know that our God hears our calling, He listens to us, and He will answer our prayers. Be patient and trust in His love and faithfulness to us. Hindi nya tayo a-abandon. Tiwala lang!

I am amazed of how every time I feel down, God knows how to bring me back up. Like, whenever I lose my way, He always pulls me back to Him. He turns me away from all those things that keep me from Him. I am so weak. I don't know what I will be without God. He is my strength. I hope you are feeling blessed today as much as I am, too.

It's already been Four Weeks.. And I could say that I don't have any regret of my choices. My stay has been really fun and my friends are taking good care of me. I already met a lot of new people who are very nice to me as well. And plus, I found a church at the exact first Sunday of being here. If there's anything that I wish I did differently is that having second thoughts about this. I'm the most indecisive person I know. And it's driving me crazy and it's driving people around me crazy. I sometimes, may not know what I really want until I finally decided to just go and take the first step. And lucky enough, my feet brought me exactly to where my heart is happy and bliss.

Martin Luther King Jr.

You have the sweetest smile and the sweetest attitude I've ever seen for quite a muscular guy. It's just so cute that I just want to baby you. I guess, being closer to your mom than to your dad, gave that sweet attitude of yours. I like it when guys are closed with their Moms. For some reason, I feel like they will not do anything to hurt any girl. I really wish I met you before all this. I'm leaving. Where've you been all my life? Oh fate. You're very interesting. You confuses my heart.

Nay Winwin (WInter’s Clan Cell Group Leader, NLIC Sta-Ana, Pampanga)