mae

I lost my sister. I lost my sidekick. I lost my friend.

I lost someone I’ve known their entire life and someone I wished to spend the rest of my life getting to know. I didn’t lose her in death but I lost her emotionally. I don’t know if things will ever get better but they haven’t seemed to in the past few years. The gap just seem to get worse as more time passes.

A lot of the time I wonder if she misses me as I do her. I wonder if she wishes she can turn back time as do I. I wonder if she regrets the choices she’s made as I do mine.

There can be no right or wrong because I may always believe my beliefs as she will believe in hers.

torn between all my feelings, all my rose colored memories and ideas of you, all my love and care for you.

It’s been exactly 2 years since you told me you didn’t want to be friends or continue trying. It still cuts deep.

I wish I could call you and be with you - to share all of our moments together, good and bad. To laugh together and make new memories together.

I heard that you're happy without me

And I hope it's true

It kills me a little, that's okay 'cause I'd die for you