this is me

It's been a while since I wrote something here. It sucks when you know you have so much love to give but when you are ready to give it to someone you want to give it to, you're literally someone they don't see. And it sucks because you end up feeling like no matter how much you try to show how much you care about them and love them... It's never going to be enough. And what's the point. Over and over I've been played and used and left behind that even when I love myself and know I'm a catch, there will never be someone who sees me. I'm tired of crying. I'm tired of getting my hopes up from someone who tries to prove to me they're different. I'm tired of someone pretending they care. I'm tired of someone telling me they like me just to forget about me right after. And I'm so tired.

Maybe I need to disappear and find myself

It's time for me to just accept that I'll probably end up alone and be the cool single uncle who travels and has a bunch of dogs.

Ngl I've been on an unhealthy self destructive diet recently that I know is very bad but I like seeing everything fit looser and being much smaller in places I never was.

I'm honestly just done with everything.