What If???

Inspired by this old post

Words (and definitions) as text below cut.

Remember, requests are open.

WARNINGS: VIOLENCE, CURSING, MENTION OF BLOOD. MENTION OF A GUN.

DIALOGUE:

TAUNTER:

“Is that really all you got?” 

“Come on, you can do better than that.” 

“I’m not even sweating yet.” 

“Think I broke more of a sweat 

“I’m sure you can hit me if you try hard enough. I believe in you.” 

“So close.” 

“You’re… boring me.” 

“I expected more.” 

“Why couldn’t the cops deal with you?” 

“Oh, no.”

“I’m sooo scared.” 

“Honestly, if you weren’t threatening actual lives, you’d be more of a nuisance, really.” 

“This is what I was called for? You?” 

“What… is this?” 

“Do you want me to slow down for you?” 

“If it makes you feel better, I’ll let you get a hit in.” 

“This is stupid. Goodnight.” 

 “Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll be good enough to beat me one day.” 

“Come and get it.” 

“That actually hurt. Wow.” 

“Compared to my usual crowd, you’re nothing.” 

“Get out of my way.” 

“Move.” 

“Having fun?” 

“Aw, you’re not hurt already, are you?” 

“I was just playing. Surely you can take more.” 

“Oh my, is that blood? Just from that?” 

RESPONDING:

“You have to get through me!”

“Shut up!” 

“I can keep going.” 

“This— this is nothing.” 

“I’ll make you regret saying that!” 

“Then let me make this a little more challenging!” 

“Of course it hurts, dipshit.” 

“You should be scared.” 

“Stop— stop taunting me!” 

“Fun? Fun? Don’t insult me.” 

“I’ll show you better!” 

“I can’t stand you.” 

“Get out of my way!” 

“Over my dead body!” 

“I won’t let you get to them.” 

“I’ll make sure you can’t hurt anybody else.” 

“Over my grave, you bastard.” 

“I’ll take you down if it’s the last thing I do.” 

“If I can’t take you down, I will never forgive myself.” 

“Try and move me, I dare you!” 

“You’re gonna regret that!” 

“You want to see what I can do?” 

“You’re nothing.”

“Keep taunting me and see what happens.” 

“I’ll give you one chance, walk away.” 

“Fine, I guess we’re doing this.” 

“Y’know, talking during fighting isn’t very professional!” 

“Dammit, all right, here we go!” 

SCENARIOS:

You have a stupid smirk on your face, and I’m just trying to be serious. Why are you like this? Can we fight already? 

Why are you taunting me? Stop— stop dancing. We’re in the middle of a fight. 

When the cops/superhero/my friend told me what you were doing, I wanted to stay in bed. And now that I’m here, I’m thinking that maybe I should have. 

Is that bomb fake or real. I can never tell with you.

I’m bleeding from your knife/kicks/punches, but I’m not gonna stop fighting until you’re finally taken down. 

Every time you taunt me, I see red, and you know this. I should be stronger, but I’m not. 

I won’t let you hurt the people I love. Not while I’m still breathing. 

You notice that I’m breathing heavy, and you just keep smirking. I— I can keep going. I can. 

We used to be friends, what happened to us? Why do we always have to fight? 

If you’d just put that gun/remote/knife, we could go home, y’know? We don’t have to keep fighting. 

You’re not fighting like you used to, what happened? 

This is pathetic and a waste of my time, you’re in my way. 

You’ve gotten weaker, I can’t help but let a smirk cross my lips, this is almost… funny. 

You stumble against the wall with half-lidded eyes. It’d be so easy to just stroll by you, but for some reason, I can’t help but keep taunting you. 

anticipation - bouncing legs - darting eyes - breathing deeply - useless / mindless tasks - eyes on the clock - checking and re-checking

frustration - grumbling - heavy footsteps - hot flush - narrowed eyes - pointing fingers - pacing / stomping

sadness - eyes filling up with tears - blinking quickly - hiccuped breaths - face turned away - red / burning cheeks - short sentences with gulps

happiness - smiling / cheeks hurting - animated - chest hurts from laughing - rapid movements - eye contact - quick speaking

boredom - complaining - sighing - grumbling - pacing - leg bouncing - picking at nails

fear - quick heartbeat - shaking / clammy hands - pinching self - tuck away - closing eyes - clenched hands

disappointment - no eye contact - hard swallow - clenched hands - tears, occasionally - mhm-hmm

tiredness - spacing out - eyes closing - nodding head absently - long sighs - no eye contact - grim smile

character a asks “hey, will you pretend to be my date for a week for [convoluted excuse that could easily be solved without a fake relationship]?” character b, fully convinced of the futility of their DEEP AND UNREQUITED LOVE, figures this’ll be a chance to spend time with them and possibly put their feelings to rest. character b is always wrong & it is always amazing.

having to SHARE A LIVING SPACE FOR ARBITRARY FIC REASONS. having to see eachother in their pajamas first thing in the morning, messy haired, drowsy eyed and soft faced. going from “you can have the bathroom first” to brushing their teeth beside eachother and feeling like this closeness has always existed (at the same time, painfully aware that it won’t always). 

related to the last one — “”practicing”” their casual touching so that it’s easier when they’re in public. feeling SWOOPS OF ARDOR AND AGONY when they feel the brush of a hand on their neck, or an arm loop around their waist. don’t you love how fake marrieds/dates are always method actors who must FULLY INHABIT their roles. i love it. i live for it. 

bed sharing. :^) we all pretend we’re bigger than this but we are not. 

“kiss me while everyone’s looking.”

the character who wasn’t aware they were in love (maybe always had been) until the fake relationship is in full swing, realizing they have to sort their feelings out before their time together is up. sometimes they succeed and angst is minimal. most of the time they don’t, really.

telling eachother “i love you” in public and meaning it, heart aching over it, but bELIEVING THE OTHER 2 BE ACTING. my soul is still 15, this garbage still gets me. u don’t get pining better than this.

the days leading up to the end of the arrangement where one of them, still confused and muddy about their Feelings and unsure how to break things off, stiffens to the casual, reflexive touching and puts their walls back up. the other one accepts and respects this as the end of their agreement and squashes back down all the hope they ever had, stuffs it next to the heartbreak they’re ignoring deep in their chest. 

when they realize they’re actually fully and enthusiastically mutual about the way they feel and it’s, like, two parts euphoria and one part agony because they just cannOT BELIEVE, the happiness tears them in two. maybe there are weepy or laughing kisses. i don’t know but i’m usually invested like 2000%. i love fake dating/marrieds. 

Okay so if you’re anything like me you see those lists of au ideas floating around and you like them but when it comes time to write something and you need an idea you have no idea what you tagged them as or if they’re buried somewhere in your likes so….have a list of some of the ones I’ve come across! This is updated with new lists and fixed links fairly frequently so check back here if you’d like more! 

also: there are a few lists that people have requested that i have not been able to find so if you know of one/write one, please send it to me. my messages/ask/submit are all open. WANTED: expectant parents/parents with newborns aus, historical aus

 (updated on november 6th, 2016) 

(current count: ~163 lists + 39 individual prompts)

themed:

super long list of college aus

more college aus

even more college aus

autumn aus

it’s really cold outside aus

meet-ugly

art school aus

femslash aus

they know each other but don’t know that they know each other aus

awkward first meeting aus

MORE college aus

airport related aus

fake married/dating trope

pub aus (here for halloween season)

royal aus

assassin aus

opposites attract

lots more under the cut, the post was getting unwieldy