listen up, bitchcakes

“Not that I have any doubts that Heimdall would not find us in this desolate land, but if there was a portal opening to your realm, then there was someone… Or something that wished to pass through. I cannot blame thee for not wanting to continue forward, but I do not think what wished to come to Midgard was to bring peace and warm wishes…” Still, he rather, on her suggestion, stick together.

          The world itself was dry, temperature moderate. And, seeing that Jess            hadn’t suffocated yet, the atmosphere could support life. If the portal             came from there– It must have it. Looking up at the moons, he could            feel a slight shift in the gravitational pull as well. Not that life couldn’t            adjust to that.

Shifting his gaze back to the agent, he glared a moment at her. Talking dogs. As if– “I have more doubts a species of advanced canines would have the abilities to create a portal without posable thumbs.” He paused.  “I meant not fish, but rather, merfolk. And they are not kind.” But seeing there wasn’t hints of water in their sight, he doubted they’d find those too.

             “O’er that mountain pass, we should find ourselves a better view. Perhaps               e’en the cause to where it came from…Be on your guard.” With that, Thor               moved forward, leading on towards what he’d hope would be some sort               of answer.

“Oh, I’m here to kick whatever decided to try and pay Earth an unexpected visit’s ass, I’m just a firm believer in back up plans.” She sighs, nose scrunching in thought. “I mean, why’s anyone want to visit Earth anyway?  I mean, yeah, we do occasional have objects of vast power, but they’re not that great.” Jess drums her fingers against her thigh anxiously, setting her jaw. “Whatever it was, we’re gonna’ find it and ask a few questions.”

As much as her natural defenses were largely composed of sarcasm, a larger part of her still was firmly and wholly determined. She wasn’t an Avenger, no, didn’t have that tacky big A emblazoned on all of her clothes, but that didn’t mean she still couldn’t do her duty. Jess had a job now, even if she occasionally found herself frustrated with it, she wouldn’t flinch from it. From that, she treks onward, keeping her finger on the trigger. “You honestly telling me they’re real?” She furrows her brow over her shoulder, beginning to make her way towards an incline leading between two slopes. “You guys just like, unicorns, too? Hippogriffs? Basilisks? Any other Harry Potter animals?”

She continues walking, occasionally pausing to take notice of their surrounding. Every reflex was practically twitching now and she feels herself all but pulsing with a nervous energy. “We’re not alone,” She murmurs, closing her eyes and trying to focus. Jess bites her lip, shifting her weight back and forth on her feet, only to sigh deeply a moment later, “I don’t know what it is, but there’s something.”

Wouldn’t it have been nice to have above government grade metal between him and a crash site, but there wasn’t, and for a moment, Thor couldn’t remember how his face meet the ground below. Only for a moment. 

                 The portal– Havoc…  Memory jogged.

“Odin’s ravens…” He cursed, making it back to his feet and stammering to the  plane, entering through the hole that formed from the landing. If he was alright, it was visible he was fine enough. Pointing back to the portal that had now ceased to exist behind them, making Thor throw his hand back down in an annoyed pant, he answers her first question. “Absolutely not Asgardian…” What it was, he wasn’t so sure…. 

                 They certainly now have to both find out who it belonged to, why                   it was targeting Midgard, and how to get home. A venture Thor                   didn’t exactly sign up for. But he’d deal with it.

“The ship is of no use to us now, comrade.” Nodding for her to follow him out of it, he holds his hammer tight in his grip, looking around them both to keep a close look out. Nothing was a friendly unless otherwise proven. “A word of wisdom: If it walks upon two feet, greet it with formality. If it crawls on four, kill it…. And if it swims, I shall speak to it…”

She groans, running a hand through messied hair. A heavy sigh follows suit. “Great, so not only are we stuck dealing with a whole bunch of bullshit I don’t understand, we don’t even have you to explain it.” Well, at least it wasn’t Loki. Jess reminds her self of that as she brushes herself off, standing to her knees and allowing her training to take over. She reaches for her gun, highly doubting it’d be of any true use, but determined to look professional no matter what might come wandering near. “Listen, worse case scenario here, say we run into something that we don’t like and doesn’t like us, can you get your buddy Heimdal to rainbow us the hell out of here? I don’t understand how all of that works, exactly.”

She follows behind him closely, keeping a firm hand on her gun, but above all allowing her reflexes and natural abilities to begin to kick in. Jess knew Thor viewed her as an asset, undoubtedly, but all the same a small part of her was determined to prove herself as near an equal as she could. 

“What if it’s like, a talking dog here? I’m not killing a dog, Thor,” She mutters in reply, narrowing her eyes as she steps from the ship, “But I’m glad to know you’re an established diplomat when it comes to fish.” Nervously sucking in a breath and relieved to find it doesn’t appear to contain anything poisonous, at least not immediately poisonous, Jess continues forward. On the horizon rests two moons, both glowing brightly amidst the first twinkle of stars. 

Leaning in to look at the holographic image, Thor ran his fingers over his stubble, taking only a mere moment to call out exactly what it was.  “A portal– I thought SHIELD would think it obvious. Only slightly different from the one I call for Heimdall to create…” The worry, was as she said, was the fact that it was growing. The only other time did Thor see anything in such an immense size was the Chitauri invasion of New York years past.

              “The growth is unusual– And your technology would have seen                something pass through… Methinks this portal is preparing for                entry–”

Quickly though, he was cut off by a disruption in the aircraft’s signal, the feeling of a pull into the energy stream like a moth to the flame. they were a magnet. “Turn it around, agent!” As if it was that simple. So, in Thor’s impatience, he hit the hatch and jumped from his seat. If the plane wouldn’t move itself, he’d move it by the power of Asgard. Once he was out of the plane and set his hands to the plane’s nose, it was a mere matter of seconds of him letting go and getting immediately sucked into the void. Suppose it wasn’t the plane’s fault after all…

She purses her lips together, faintly annoyed by the comment, but works to bite back a rebuttal. After all, Thor was more than likely their only ally who had any idea what this might be. Jess didn’t think he’d up and leave, but she didn’t entirely care to find out. “Is that the rainbow guy?” She arches a brow, staring intently at the hologram, “And there’s no way it’s him, right? Or another Asgardian for that matter, I mean, you would know?”

Loki is what first comes to mind but she’s careful not to state it directly. The last thing they needed was him haphazardly opening up portals to who knows where on top of his murderous agenda. “Entry?” She blinks now, squinting and looking up to him, “But we’re not entering. And wouldn’t we detect anyone entering thr-”

A warning light begins to pulse and Jess quickly works to steer the plane around as it begins to move more swiftly towards the portal. “Thor, Thor, go fix it!” She isn’t even entirely sure what that means, except Thor had to go do something, but within a minute she finds the ship sucked into the now brightly flashing portal. A wave of energy, of something indescribable but decidedly uncompromising, slams into her and Jess is slammed against the back of the ship’s wall.

@whateveraspiderwomandoes

It wasn’t a long or detailed mission briefing. At least not for Thor. Whether or not it was because he was half paying attention to them disregarding magic as a plausible excuse to explain mortal anomalies or that it was truly that simple, the thunderer spend the conversation with arms folded, side eyeing his partner in this investigation. Jessica Crew, an agent of SHIELD with her own special gifts, friend of Captain Marvel and many other Avengers– They were not close. Still, a mission was a mission, and Thor pledged his duty to help the mortal realm when needed.

                 And his own curiosity what the mysterious energy reads were,                  he hoped it would be proof of magic to some. It was becoming                  bothersome for people still questioning him on the legitimacy of                  it all….

Taking the Avenge-Jet, Thor seated himself the in the co-pilot’s seat, not that he’d have anything to do with flying the aircraft at all. That was her job. “If I am correct, and this enigmatic energy is caused by magic, you, SHIELD and any non-believer owes a barrel of mead and a roasted boar to me– For all my troubles.”

                  Hmph.

He’s a funny one, Thor, somewhere between being a bro and a Renaissance Faire performer, but Jess likes him well enough. Besides, he’s decidedly useful in certain situations, most notably those no one else can figure out for the life of them. “Pretty sure Strange would have only asked for like, a bottle of wine or something, but fine, mead and some nice old dead animal can work. Fury’ll be stoked to see that on the monthly SHIELD bill,” She retorts with a quick snort, pausing to enter in coordinates to the navigation system. 

“Listen, I have seen some weird shit lately, but I have no idea what all this is about,” Jess shrugs lightly. Her pride is a defining characteristic, certainly, but she wasn’t above asking for help from time to time. “And, for the record, I’m not a non-believer or whatever, I’m just a non-understander. I get most science, well, maybe not like Stark or Banner, but I can at least fathom it. This? This is all new territory, Thor, for all of us but you and maybe Strange.”

“’Twas merely a jest, of course my people are free with themselves and each other. But we are loyal to those we give ourselves too. Unlike the Olympians. For Zeus is real and he did fool with a creature. Madness.” In truth, he wasn’t sure, but he liked the idea of giving the other pantheon trouble for it later.

“..................”

AKA ;; WHATEVERASPIDERWOMANDOES

                    ❝ Nice jacket. ❞

                             … At least hers doesn’t have a shitty                              bullet hole.  ( Gee, thanks, Audrey. )

“Are you accusing my people of… being o’erly promiscuous?”

Doctor Banner? Not to be rude, but hardly. Unless he is the Hulk, I think we are all safe  to assume otherwise. Fairly certain you would make him blush mentioning it.

The poor lad. He does his best and we still heckle him for such things. No matter, he must learn from the best eventually.

Of course he did. And, per usual, he forgets his competition.

             We cannot go shopping yesterday.  It was yesterday.

Oh, Wanda, you are adorable. Not so good with casual chats, maybe, but adorable. Come on, we’ll get you something cool, something hip.