aries: if you start you essay with “In the book The Great Gatsby…” im gonna throw you out that window 

taurus: elvish looks nothing like that

gemini: when we get back, you’re playing the trumpet or I’m failing you

cancer: oh I forget this class doesn’t get irony

leo: I’m definitely lawful good, c’mon, have you met me?

virgo: you guys know what raisins are right?

libra: *uses the word ‘artifice’ 13 times in 3 sentences* 

scorpio: “Jesus Christ” Just Jonathan will do, thanks

sagittarius: I wonder if [Ryan Ross]’s an asshole

capricorn: I respect any song that has heavy breathing as a bass line

aquarius: I fucking hate sublime, like we get it. you smoked weed once and it was cool

hamilton: