West Coast Fun

The holidays are busy times for family, friends and co-workers, so I was pretty happy that the wife and I were able to get a little exploration to meet our Brazilian acquaintance, the DJ.   We had hoped to see his set a month ago in November, but I had a work event and my wife is not the one to go solo with a new man.  So I was happy that she agreed to go see him spin his music.  I wasn’t sure he would remember us, but he did and was happy to see us again.  That made my wife’s night and our week as she was a little more confident and sexy than usual.  So much fun.  

It seems so long ago.  We then slipped back into the holiday routine of family and friends.  A family trip.  Delayed flight.  Back at home.  

My wife and I went out Saturday night with a guy I met at the climbing gym.   He’s a bit younger, cutting edge with a mohawkish haircut and tattoos. Kinda looks like a Viking.  Despite his looks, he’s very easygoing.  I knew my wife would like hanging out with him.  Smart, fit, attractive.

The fun part of this lifestyle is that you never really know who might be interested.  I know my wife would like him.  He’s respectful and easy-going.  He’s currently single and looking to have fun.  I figured he would like my wife.  She’s attractive, fun and able to connect with people. 

Dinner was very chill, my wife was sure to pay him attention.  A little flirting, soft touches.  It’s partly her nature to begin with, but if she likes a man she’s happy to show it.   And she did.

Previously, she would have her guard up and wonder what would be appropriate.   Now, she’s more than happy to encourage respectful men she finds attractive.  She knows that I like it when she does.  She likes the attention and banter.  And guys enjoy getting the attention from a married woman.  It all works. 

Meeting our latest prospect has gotten me thinking about what we look for in a third or other couples.  It’s pretty simple.  Can the person actually participate in a triad or quad relationship?   In the case of meeting a man, it’s do they actually get the dynamics of being part of a triad.   It’s very much a 3-way dynamic.   The other man needs to understand that and get excited by that.  

First the person needs to separate love from play or sex.  My wife and I are looking for extra play partners for her, not romantic partners.  I believe it’s easier for men to do this than women.  Yet talking with women, I know that’s not true.  Whatever the case, the person needs to be able to separate that this is a play or sexual experience and not a romantic experience at least for us at this point in time. 

Second, the person needs to acknowledge they are participating with a couple, not a single woman.  That’s a skill that many don’t have as most think of a relationship involving two people only.  The other man needs to understand that my wife will include me in their play.  That might be in person or sharing the information. They need to be comfortable with that and excited by that. 

Third, they need to understand when to step away.  Participating with a couple means, our relationship is our priority.  The extra relationships are a fun experience, but not our highest priority.  That requires a person who is very secure and not looking to fill a gap, a wounded soul and not needing attention every weekend.  Perhaps my wife will be in touch during the time apart or not.