We Overdose On Confidence

I just dont get it.  How can you go from one extreme to another so quick?

just laid out my soul on the table.   Rather a letter.  I'm either gonna look weak or strong for it.

its been 7 days since we talked and a month since you ended it.  My family is here but all i can do is think about how I wish you were here.  I am dreading for my grandmother to ask about you and where you are at.  I havent told her yet.  Some days i'm okay but every day I have just been off.  I cant remember being happy which sucks.  I'm lucky to have family that will travel to see me when I sometimes wouldnt do the same.  I wonder if you will call or text me today.  I hope and dread for it to happen.  All i keep telling myself is that you chose between being with me and not because you are happier without me.  If you are happier than thats what has to happen.  I just hope I can be happy again one day.

I feel like my heart got ripped out of my chest.

I've been in a few relationships in my life and all of them end the same. I push them away.  Something about me is causing my relationships to fail.  Im 27 and I'm scared right now. Scared because I dont know what i'm going to do in life.  I just graduated but I am scared for the now looking for jobs.  I had thought my girlfriend was the one and I still do but I just dont know what to do to make her happy sometimes.  I feel i'm doing everything wrong in life at the moment.  I just need to figure it out what about me is not good and fix it.  I need to figure out my future. I really hope she wants to be apart of it.

Lately I have dreams of the happiness that could become my life.  THe uncertainty of things to come has me more nervous than I can express most days.  The love of my life seems to be annoyed by me most days and though I try to fix it I just make things worse.  I need to figure out my priorities and create more happiness for me and others.