emotional baby boy

i was on the way to the movies & i saw an old guy with a piece of wood over his shoulders. it was huge -- a pole several feet long with a kind of wide fan at the end of it. and i said "what the hell is that?" and he looked at me and had this kind of ear to ear grin, and he said "what do you mean 'what the hell is that'?" and he sat back on his heels, still with that big smile like the sun spilling from the underside of a cloud and waited for me to answer and i said "i mean i don't know why you're walking around with that thing, whatever it is." and he laughed and put down his pole and kinda clapped me on the shoulder. "can i get you a drink?" he said. and i said "no, the show's in ten minutes," and he said "oh? what are you seeing?" and i said "christopher nolan's odyssey, i'm pretty excited," and he sighed and picked up his oar and kept walking.

I don’t get the joke :( someone help me

in some versions of the Odysseus legend, Odysseus leaves Ithaca and is supposed to wander the world carrying a ship's oar until he finds a place where no one knows what it is. here, he encounters someone who doesn't recognize it, but since the narrator is going to see a movie version of the Odyssey, that anonymity can't last & he has to keep wandering.

SCREAMING Muffy sis…………..the carbs

girl with ptsd voice: hey, so something really bad is gonna happen, right? you guys are picking up on that too, yeah? The other shoe is about to drop, I just know it.

people aren't even exaggerating indeed is literally like that. walmart attendant $13 an hour, target attendant $13 an hour, AI dick sucker $40 an hour, home depot attendant $13 an hour, guy who designs bullets that can only kill children $160k a year plus benefits, gas station manager $18 an hour

ah doing ma thing just like god int- (remembers im atheist) just like the universe intend- (remembers i don't believe in determinism) just like noone and nothing intended ever. doin ma thang fucking unpredictable style

yiou can only reblog this post on july 17th dont reblog it on any other day or you will be boiled

you can't boil me it's july 17th

i have GOT to pee more

THIS IS A UTI POST NOT A PEE FETISH POST THIS TIME

literally my favorite kind of posts are ones that are like "i never see positivity posts for [group of people that society is built around catering toward]"

Whatttt is with the tendency of Tumblr users to seek absolution from every single person who offhandedly posts about disagreeing with something they do

I say this not unkindly, but firmly: to function as a member of a social species, you have to get comfortable with the idea that not everyone will like you