Weights and Plates

You can try to run from all of your pain. But trouble will always find a way, Into your thoughts. Into your veins. Into your feelings. So feel while you can, Before it’s too late. Feel all your, Hopes. Dreams. Pain.

Numbing will be the only thing you chase.

Until one day you look at yourself in the face to see,

All you were numbing.

Was right in its place.

Meet Yourself Where You Are

Where are you? This can be one of the most confusing questions to answer. Are you in the present or are you in the past or future?

What does this mean exactly?

To put it bluntly, you need to be here now. Right where you are at, experiencing everything you are experiencing.

The hurt. The happy. The joy. The pain.

There can be no ups without downs.

But how do we deal with the downs?

By meeting…

Are You Down for the Ride?

Celebrity suicides. Everyone has an opinion. I don’t need to list them all, you have google.

My personal experience with depression and anxiety can best be compared to a rollercoaster. Sometimes, it’s really fun and other times the shit flies off the fucking rails. Leaving you white knuckling your way through the next 5 minutes to 5 days.

The thing I’ve come to learn is that although these…

Last Thursday Chelsea and I tried on dressing for our upcoming nuptials. Overall, I had a wonderful time. We laughed, I cried. But in between all of that there was an ugly little troll that kept me feeling anxious and sad the entire time.

To set the scene, Chelsea and I are fortunate enough to be surrounded by many people that love and support us. Chelsea had her mom, sister (also maid of honor)…

Simple and delicious!

You can easily prep several of these ingredients and have them ready in your refrigerator!

Recipe is adapted from HelloFresh, and much less calorically dense.

What you need:

3 scallions

2-4 medium zucchini

8 oz bag of matchstick carrots

16 oz container of sliced button mushrooms

1 tbsp white wine vinegar

2 cloves garlic

Thumb of ginger

3 tbsp Low-sodium soy sauce

1.5 tbsp…

Here I Go, Here I go, Here I Go Again

I said girls what’s my weakness, FEAR!

Chillin, chillin, mindin’ my bidness. Ya’ll I walked into the gym and I couldn’t believe this. I swear, I stare. My nieces my witness. The brother had it goin’ on with somethin’ kinda, ugh…

Someone asked me why I wasn’t excited about how my recovery was going and “all of the things I’m able to do”.

I am excited. Every. Fucking. Day.

But I’m also afraid.

Of…

This is a Story All About How

My life got flipped, turned upside down. And I’d like to take a minute, just sit right there. Good luck getting that song out of your head. This isn’t another whiney ass blog about how sad I am. Make no mistake, I have #noragrets posting and being candid. It’s helped me cope big time. This post is about perception. I’ve come to the realization that after I had my Lisfranc fixation in September…

It’s been a little over a month since my last blog and boy has it been a doozy. I went to therapy for the first time since my mom passed away, and I tried to have an open mind. I’m still trying to wrap my mind around my last session. Well, all 3 of them. It seems, in my haste to feel better I ignored a very very important part of myself. My intuition. I felt in my gut that something was off,…

Courage to be Imperfect

But isn’t being perfect what we always want to be? The majority of people in this world are searching for perfection. I’m here to tell you, it doesn’t fucking exist. In my constant search and struggle for my own happiness and “perfection”, I’ve always remained vulnerable. I guess vulnerability can be both a blessing and a curse. It’s easy to put up a facade and pretend like everything is fine.…

A few months ago I was asked to make a playlist of the songs that get me HYPE while I train. Hope you enjoy! Click the link below to get turnt to some of my favorite tunes and read my description of what they mean to me. https://open.spotify.com/user/121309437/playlist/6qW5v5RfRsfab2muvsljPH?si=-kCSRAmzTpyKBH05cYix9w   Emotions. Waxing and waning with each song, rep and rest period of a training…

“NEW YEAR, NEW ME” “LEAVING EVERYTHING BEHIND IN 2017, 2016, 2015″…ALL THE WAY BACK TO WHEN YOU FIRST DECIDED “LEAVING” THINGS IN THE OLD YEAR WOULD MEAN THEY WOULDN’T FOLLOW YOUR ASS INTO THE NEW YEAR. How about be a better you in the new year. Strike that, be a better you everyday. Not for anyone else but yourself. If you want good things to happen, then you have to be one of those good things.…

Finding a way to channel my energy was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. I felt alive for the first time. Making the transition from CrossFit to powerlifting came naturally. Chelsea and I did our first meet on August 24th, 2014. It was a USPA meet called the Treasure Coast Classic. We both won our weight classes and qualified for IPL Worlds! We were THE SHIT and we had no idea…

In both of these pictures, I had a herniated disc but I had no idea. “How are you walking?” “How do you get out of bed in the morning?” “You’re lucky you’re not paralyzed.” “You must be in a lot of pain.” These are all quotes from several doctors after they viewed the MRI of my back, which revealed a severely herniated disc. I’m still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that I had back…

HELLOOOOOOO! It’s been almost a month since I posted. Shit, I’ve had so many things I’ve wanted to say but it’s been hard for me to organize my thoughts. Taking classes for my BSN degree online and recovering from a microdiscectomy proved to be a smidge more difficult than I anticipated. But I did it and not only did I survive, but I thrived. One of the main things I wanted to post about was how…

Steroids! Roids! They are so cool right? I mean they make you big and strong! They make recovery so much faster. You can gain muscle and shred fat all at the same time! Well we aren’t going to talk about those roids, cuz I have no fucking idea what I would be talking about. I am #NattyNat for a reason. Today, we are gonna talk about corticosteroids and how they caused me to have an episode of…

When I first started blogging again 6 days ago I had no idea WTF I was doing. It was just a flow of consciousness at the time. I could say it saved my life, but many things helped me to break free from my situational depressive episode. Communicating with people around me, having a support system and finding an outlet were key in clearing the major brain fog that I was trapped in. Each morning…

You Are Not Alone. I Am Here With You.

HELLO FROM THE OTHER SIIIIIIIIIIIIDE! I woke up today feeling like a new woman! Finally, I didn’t wake up shaking or crying in pain. My overall mood has taken a complete 180°! Like I said in my blog yesterday, I went to sleep saying “tomorrow will be a better day”, and today it actually was! To say I feel relieved would be an understatement. I think the mixture of all of the stress of having…