finally free

Another 2:00 am text asking “are you up?”

Another man who would care less asking “are you down to fuck?”

I’ve been surrounded by all things that are violent

I was taught to see the black and whites, but I wanna see violet and red.

Like the blood that flow through my veins 

and a knife through my heart when I hear your name

because I’m reminded by this sick disease called memories

and quite frankly I don’t like the replays

of you and me on weekdays

getting lost in each others grip.

And if there’s any moment to forget... I’d choose you.

Suddenly this weight of insecurities and vulnerabilities weigh as light as a feather

Suddenly I understand what it means to come back and better

and although I may seem the same on the outside I hope you see