"Well...Damn"-Me, 24/7

there's something kind of you-can't-go-home-again about being a hockey fan in terms of, like, your "first" roster is always going to be "your" roster, no matter how long ago it was or how many people have been swapped around, how many trades, how many retirements, how many free agencies you live through. it'll never be exactly like that again. it probably wasn't even exactly like that for a full season. i know there's a lot of jokes about "how do athletes deal with trades. what about their friends?" but it's also, like, what about us? what about our friends? to me, the penguins are always going to be, like, brian boyle and jason zucker and brian dumoulin and evan rodrigues and john marino, but for other people, the penguins go back even further than that. hags and horny and nealer and flower. you don't have to go too far down on reddit to find people who think about mario and jagr. i was a fairweather bandwagon fan for the avs when they won the cup and that exact lineup holds its shape in my mind perfectly, but talk to someone who follows the team for real and they have a tyson jost-shaped hole in their picture of the cup team that's still not healed over. i just love that. the inherent melancholia of being a sports fan is not knowing you're in the good ol' days when you're in them and then trade deadline comes. and the trade deadline comes every year.

remember, opening your oven door can drop the temperature by 25 degrees, making your oven work harder and wasting energy

did yall do senior quotes and if so what was yours

off-season post time. what’s your hockey player bringing to the potluck and i DONT want to see the words BANANA BREAD cross my screen

Me going to angels game and having to tell myself: remember they're bad remember they're bad remember they're bad remember they're bad remember they're bad remember they're bad remember they're bad remember they're bad remember they're bad remember they're bad remember they're bad remember they're bad remember they're bad remember they're bad remember they're bad remember they're bad remember they're bad—

DAMNIT

Do we have positive ID on the art refs yet btw

matt damon odysseus voice our age of hrpf is collapsing

can't get over having "is one of the most popular Men’s Hockey RPF writers on Archive of Our Own, with over two million words and twice the page views of the next most popular writer" as your author bio on Penguin Random House dot com. girl at any point as you sat there collating other writers' page views did you doubt yourself or

nicoj*ck fic wearing a suzufield suit is not what i expected when i looked into this and my head hurts

Your heart is not true enough to enter the gates of Margaritaville

My heart was heavier than the feather; I am sentenced to Rainforest Cafe

sometimes you read fic and it mentions something you know too much about and you have to pause and decide if the illusion is ruined

that man would not fucking know how to make croissants. he would not have his shit together like that

you dont just make croissants in the morning on a day off on a whim. croissants are a weekend event. he’s on the verge of the worst relapse of his life he did NOT stay up late beating the fuck out of his butter block to make it flat -> doing several laminations. i just dont believe that