“Well, I don’t know.” Saf laughed. “I spend a lot of time there.” she admitted. It wasn’t for the plants or a love of herbology. It was the warmth and the instant feeling of comfort she felt whenever she walked into the greenhouse. The glass-paneled building was like a warm hug. “Sprout isn’t your biggest fan, huh?”

“And it’s the one place I won’t go for you, Saf,” she said with a laugh. She liked the greenhouses in theory-plants were pretty, sometimes, from a distance-but she’d never gotten on well with them. “She almost kicked me out of class fourth year after I managed to spill all of the bubotuber pus I collected over my partner,” Adelia grimaced at the memory. Definitely not her finest moment.

“It’d be horrifying if they became brave.” Otto added, amused by the whole thing, before downing the rest of his drink. “Do you really think something like that would make this party more interesting? Because I don’t think it can still be saved.”

Adelia snorted, trying to imagine it. “It sounds like it would be an unmitigated disaster. People get too reckless when they’re brave-look at the Gryffindors,” she said, nodding over to where students from said house. “I mean, it can’t get any worse, can it?”

Juliet’s breath caught in her throat as the other had hugged her back. It brought back feelings she’d pushed down, feelings she’d didn’t realise just how much she’d missed. “There’s always another option,” Juliet spoke softly, shaking her head. There had to be, right? This couldn’t just be it. The way the other girl spoke her name made her heart flutter in her chest, god, she’d missed this. “Since when do I ever go for good ideas?” Juliet teased halfheartedly, a tired smile gracing her lips. “I don’t want to see you hurt either, Ade. I can defend myself now more than I could when we were younger. I won’t get hurt. So please, don’t walk away again.”

Adelia was so far out of her depths-she hadn’t expected any of this, not since she pulled away from Juliet, the most important person in her life, back when everything fell apart. “There’s always a first time for everything,” she joked weakly. Adelia cleared her throat, “I should,” she insisted, but even as she spoke her hand moved on its own accord, intertwining her fingers with Juliet and giving her hand a gentle squeeze. “You’d probably be better off if I did,” she murmured, not looking at the other girl. “But I can’t do that to you again. Not when you’re asking me not to.” Not when ever part of me is screaming to pull you in closer, she added silently to herself.

“That’s probably more likely, you’re right.” Otto nodded along as the girl spoke. Either way, he absolutely loathed these silly traditions- to him, there was no point to them whatsoever. “Careful, someone will hear you mocking them and will come up with a tradition to get back at you.”

“People are cowards,” she murmured, though she was mostly talking about herself at this point. Years later, she was still running from the girl she wanted. “I’d like to see someone try,” Adelia snorted, taking a sip of her champagne, “Maybe then this party would get more interesting.

Juliet’s stony look fell the instant the girl choked out the words. Her expression softened and despite everything telling her it might not be a good idea, Juliet closed the gap between them, flinging her arms around the other girl as she pulled her into a hug. “I’m sorry,” She whispered softly into the other’s hair, swallowing. She’d been so angry at Adelia for leaving her, she’d never really stopped to think if the other had actually had a valid reason. For what it’s worth, I’m sorry. Juliet pulled away, bringing one hand up to brush the hair from Adelia’s face. “I know. I just wish you’d told me. We could have made it work. Somehow.” Oh, how Jules had wished they’d make it work. Her hand dropped to her side after lingering against the other’s skin for probably too long. “I don’t care. You’re worth it to me, alright? You’ll always be worth it to me. It’s been years and I’m not better off, Ade. I want you back in my life.”

Adelia couldn’t remember the last time she had felt Juliet’s arms around her, couldn’t recall the last time she had been this close to the girl. All she knew was that it had been too long, and she let herself give in to her heart and wrap her arms around Juliet in return. She let herself linger in it, trying not to think of how much she missed this as Juliet pulled away. The girl’s hand brushed against her cheek and Adelia had to stop herself from leaning into it. “There didn’t seem like any other option,” she murmured, voice soft as glanced up at Juliet. Adelia wasn’t sure if there was another option now, but this small moment with Juliet left her wanting more. “Jules,” her voice was barely above a whisper, her tone pleading. It would hurt Juliet all over again if she were to say no. Adelia was still scared-still terrified that somehow Juliet would end up hurt because of her friendship with Adelia, but Juliet was right. It wasn’t just Adelia’s choice to make. “It’s not a good idea,” she said finally. “I'm never going to think it’s a good idea. I just. Jules, I don’t want to see you hurt,” Adelia’s voice was soft as she tried to convey what she was feeling.

Juliet couldn’t help the smile that tugged at her lips as the sight of the other’s own lips curving upwards, no matter how slight. How was it the girl still had this effect on her, even after all this time. However as the girl spoke again, Juliet’s smile instantly faded, expression flashing with hurt before becoming stony. “You can’t always blame yourself Ade,” She muttered, shaking her head. “Could have. Doesn’t mean it was set in stone. Who knows what could have happened between us if you hadn’t pushed me away.” Juliet’s face fell once more. “I still got hurt you know? When you pushed me away. It was fucking painful,” The girl swallowed as she realised how close they were. “You do, and nothing you can do will change that. It’s been years, and it hasn’t changed Ade. I don’t think how I feel about you ever will.”

Juliet’s smile-a rare thing to be directed at Adelia over the last few years-was still one of her favorite sights. She couldn’t help but miss it as her once friend’s face became harder. Adelia did this to herself, to Juliet, she knew this, but it still seemed unbearable to watch Juliet’s face slip into something so unwelcoming directed at her. “But it was,” Adelia stressed. Her mind flashed to the image of her father’s suffering because he refused to let his only daughter be forced to follow the Dark Lord, to Adelia’s attack of her own mother to try and stop it, to her parents lying in St Mungos still to this day. “My parents-“ she choked out, closing her eyes to blink away both her tears and the memories she can’t seem to unsee. “I couldn’t let you end up like that,” Adelia hated showing this much emotion, but it was hard, even after all these years. She didn’t know what would have happened had she stayed-had she pulled Juliet even closer like she wanted to back then. Maybe the other girl wouldn’t have gotten hurt, and maybe the two of them would have grown into something more like Adelia had wished, but it felt selfish to have risked Juliet’s wellbeing just because Adelia was always wanting more of the girl-more of her time, her attention, her touch. And when it came to Juliet, Adelia couldn’t bring herself to be selfish. Not when there was this much at stake. “I know,” she said, voice quiet between them. “I know I hurt you, and Jules, for what it’s worth?” Adelia swallowed, working to keep her voice even when she was so close to losing it. “For what it’s worth, I am sorry for that. I’ll always be sorry for that.” Because in an ideal world, Juliet would never suffer, especially not because of her. It seemed like the better option for Juliet at the time, and Adelia couldn’t bring herself to regret keeping Juliet away from the danger that seemed to surround her then, but it stung, knowing she hurt the person she cared about the most back then. Her heart soared at Juliet’s words, that the other girl still cared for her, but Adelia pushed it down, doing her best to ignore the feelings it brought forth and the lack of space between them. “Juliet,” she pleaded, voice impossibly soft, “you can’t-you need to realize that I’m no good for you. That I’m just not worth it, okay? I already hurt you and I don’t want to ever be able to do that again. You’re better off without me.”

It was far from peaceful with all of the people and the noise they were making, but Safiye had grown quite skilled at drowning it all out. It didn’t stop her from curling up on a couch closest to the window. The air seeping in from the window left it an unoccupied space which was just fine for her. “You should steal some of the earmuffs that they use in herbology.” she teased. “Would drown it all out.”

Adelia snorted, trying to recall the earmuffs Safiye was talking about. “You say that like i’ve stepped foot in the greenhouses since my OWLs,” Adelia tolled her eyes, “Pretty sure Sprout would have banned me if I tried to get into the NEWT class.”

“I know.” she groaned, the idea of having to death with the rest of the school’s taunting was mortifying. “I really though we had it in the bag this time.” she admitted with a sigh, so much for trusting her team. “I don’t fucking know, apparently we are. I kicked Chrissy out of the team, by the way. I can’t have her getting distracted by a boy, like seriously!” 

“We should have!” Adelia said, tone bitter. “We’ve all been practicing so hard, most of us gave it our all during the game.” She shook her head, clearly agitated. “If they can’t keep it together during the games, then what’s the point of them even coming to practice? We all put the hours in. We shouldn’t have lost like that.”

A sigh escaped her lips. “I’ll be more careful. Promise.” She murmured, chewing on her lower lip. “Well aren’t we supposed to learn from our mistakes? Of course I wouldn’t have left, Ade, I really lik- well- we were friends.” Juliet shook her head at her almost slip up. Now definitely wasn’t the time to bring up old crushes she’d repressed. “It wouldn’t have been your fault, you know that right?” Juliet took another step closer towards her, the two closer than they’d be in years. “It matters to me.”

Adelia couldn’t help but feel a bit lighter, a weight lifted off her shoulders at the promise Juliet made. Whether it was completely realistic didn’t matter-just the thought of  Juliet being a bit more cautious was relieving. “Good, that’s-that’s good,” Adelia said, the smile she offered weak. Adelia couldn’t look at Juliet as she spoke. “But you needed to leave,” Adelia said, voice hard, “You don’t get it, Juliet. People I cared about were hurt, because of me. You can  say it wouldn’t have been all you want, but I could have been the end of you.” She shook her head, biting back the few tears that started to form. She worked hard not to think about this, what she missed out on with Juliet, the loss of her parents, for all intents and purposes. “And I just. I couldn’t let that happen.” Now  Juliet was in her space, close enough to touch without much effort and oh, how Adelia was tempted to  reach out a hand. “It shouldn’t,” she said finally, eyes darting up to meet Juliet’s. “I shouldn’t.”