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âPairings: Jeon Jungkook x fem!reader
âSynopsis: After arriving to New York, things turn complicated in all aspects⌠Y/N starts to question Seojoon, meanwhile things with Jungkook start taking a warm turn.
âGenre:Forbidden love
âWord count: 16k
âWarnings: 18+ for mature audiences only, MDNI, emotional, mentions of anxiety, mentions of sex, angst, conflict, religious metaphors (the story is not religious but makes references to a higher power, karma, fate, etc.), cigarette use, alcohol use, subtle arguing, jealousy, manipulation, secrecy,heavy tension, cheating, mentions of cheating, mentions of falling out of love/breaking up. Let me know if I miss anything!
âDisclaimer: This story in no way reflects the characters of those who are mentioned. It is pure fiction and for entertainment purposes only. Please donât take it seriously. Nothing is real in this story.
âA/N: IM BACK!!! omg Iâm sorry this is out so late into the evening, Iâm getting back in the swing of tumblr formatting and proof reading, forgive me. But Iâm back for good this time! Iâm unsure how often I will post Bloom, but I promise it wonât be a year long wait lol. I plan on working on each chapter right after I post the other one, but have to pace myself. I really hope you enjoy this one, I wanted to make it lengthy since Iâve been away for so long. Also, make sure to check out my Bloom playlist! It has all songs in order by chapter, and the songs really set the mood. Iâll have it linked on the master list, as well as each chapter. LOVE YOU GUYS!!!
âă⢠*â°ă â°ăâă⢠*â°ă â°ăâă⢠*â°ă â°ă
After checking in and boarding the plane, you were determined to sleep. To avoid the flower that seemed to have grown legs after being buried underneath dirt for so long⌠Luckily, that wasnât hard. Sena and Jungkook were seated several seats ahead of you and Seojoon, which you silently thanked whatever higher power is fucking with you for⌠little mercies and all that.
You popped a Benadryl, and passed out. Which is exactly what you wanted. You donât have to see whether or not Jungkook looks back at you, you donât have to see if he spammed your DMâs from his work insta, and you donât have to see the invisible roots that apparently have kept you both bound for this long. (He did keep looking back at you, he did spam your phone, and in his head he sealed the roots with fucking concrete.)
When you wake up to the announcement that the plane is about to land, you feel sluggish. It was a 13 hour flight, and time difference is 12 hours, which means its around 4-5pm in New York. Too bright for how badly your head hurts right now. Fucking perfect.
Getting off of the plane goes by in a blur; you go through the motions like a zombie which would cause you to silently complain any other day⌠but today, youâre silently thankful instead. Because being a zombie means itâs easy to ignore him. Easy to ignore the anxiety, uncertainty, and slight irritation his presence has brought you.
But the little mercies donât last long. You realize that once youâre off the plane and waiting for Seojoon to get whatever rental car he arranged.
You check your phone, and there he is as suspected. Blew your fucking phone up while you were asleep on the plane.
And then clearly, he napped, considering he became silent after thatâŚ
You donât respond. That part of you that youâve started to think is rotten almost wants to reply. Wants to antagonize him or encourage him. Wants his attention, even though he's giving it so freely⌠but, you hold back. Donât unblock him. Donât respond.
When Seojoon pulls up with the rental, you look around briefly to see if you see Jungkook or Sena. You donât. Thank god.
After loading your luggage into the car, you get in and ride with Seojoon to the hotel. You try to enjoy the scenery, the city life. Your head feels a bit better now that you're off the plane, but you still feel pretty shitty. Maybe the Benadryl wasnât the best idea, but⌠it was better than facing what you donât want to face.
âYou hungry? You slept a long time.â
Seojoon cuts your train of thought off as he drives. His tone is⌠flat. You glance at him, try to make out what his mood is. He looks a bit tired, but thereâs something else there that you canât quite make out⌠is he irritated about something too?
âA little⌠did you sleep?â
He rolls his shoulders as he reaches a red light, doesnât look at you as he responds, âNot much. Dealt with work shit.â
Work shit. Maybe thatâs why heâs irritated, you think. He doesnât really have a reason to be irritated with you, so you try not to take it personally.
âWell at least we can forget about work shit while weâre here. Spend some time together.â
You reach over and pat his arm gently, squeeze his bicep in reassurance but he just⌠brushes it off. Sighs. As if youâre bothering him.
âIâm literally here for work Y/N. Thereâs not gonna be much time to spend together. You knew I was coming for work.â
Oh.
You sort of just stare at him as he drives, because ouch. Heâs right of course, but heâs the one who invited you. Heâs the one who insisted you come last night. Heâs the one who made it seem like itâd be a cute little bonding moment after he declared you his fucking girlfriend.
âRight, yeah, I knowâŚâ You mumble as you look out the window. Youâre trying not to be too sensitive about it; it was a long flight, he said he didnât sleep much, so maybe heâs irritable in general. He could be a little nicer, sure, but once heâs slept and eaten a real meal maybe heâll be more⌠tolerable.
He glances over then, and feels the slightest tinge of guilt at the way you deflate. He knows heâs the one who invited you. He knows. What he didnât know was that Sena was coming; before he pushed you to come, she cancelled. She was supposed to come on this trip originally, but canceled last minute a week prior due to a health scare or some shit. Seojoon did try to check on her, but sheâs been dry with him for weeksâŚ
And now sheâs suddenly here? Impulsively deciding to come? Her not coming was the entire reason he invited you along.
You donât know that, of course. Which is precisely why he feels guilty.
He reaches over and places a hand on your thigh, squeezes gently the same way you did his bicep, âSorry, Iâm just tired. Of course Iâll make time to do stuff with you while weâre hereâŚâ
You almost feel reassured... until he keeps talking.
âBut Y/N, weâre only here for a few days⌠you canât expect me revolve my time around you when Iâm here for work. You can find things to do yourself, ya know? Or⌠I donât know, maybe link up with that Jungkook guy. Sena said heâs been here before.â
Jesus fucking Christ.
So not only is he talking to you like youâre being a clingy nuisance, but heâs also pushing Jungkook on you. Thatâs the last fucking thing you want. Like an unskilled gardener planting a fucking seed that simply does not want to germinate.
Whoâs fucking with fate now?
You scoff quietly and shake your head, shift in the passenger seat of the car. The drive to the hotel suddenly seems to be taking forever when you realize youâre stuck in traffic. New York traffic on a Friday afternoon is fucking brutal.
No where to run, though.
âI donât know him like that. Just forget it, Iâll busy myself until youâre free.â
You try to keep your tone light, nonchalant even, but Seojoon clocks it. He internally groans, because in this moment, while heâs tired and grumpy, he totally sees you as the clingy girlfriend whoâs being passive aggressive.
Thatâs not what you are. But to him, you are right now.
âHe seems nice Y/N, give him a chance. From what Sena has told me, you guys are really similar. You like the same type of shit.â
From what Sena tells him.
You donât know if itâs the fact you feel sluggish and slightly irritable yourself, or if itâs your womanly intuition thatâs whispering to you, but that just seems⌠odd. Maybe youâre overreactingâno, you surely are. But the metaphorical worms in the metaphorical soil of your stomach churn around in the dirt, making you feel something similar, but far less pleasant than butterflies.
âSena talks about him to you?â
Seojoon side eyes you the moment you ask, fingers gripping the steering wheel tighter. Clingy and paranoid, he thinks to himself.
âWell, yeah, weâre coworkers. Itâs normal to talk about eachothers significant other, no?â
You shrug. Yeah, it is normal isnât it? So why did it make your stomach swoop for a few seconds?
âYeah, of course.â
Thatâs all you say. Because maybe you are paranoid, but it isnât for the reasons he thinks⌠you donât think Seojoon has anything to hide, heâs always been an up front guy, as far as you know. But you? You do. Itâs why your hands are ghosted with remnants of dirt and wilted petals.
Projecting. Youâre projecting, probablyâŚÂ you need to quit that. Because Seojoon wouldnât hide anything from you. Get it the fuck together.
The ride is silent from then on, saved by the radio that Seojoon turns on. Please Please Please by Sabrina Carpenter starts playing. Itâs a good song⌠but why does that traitorous voice in your head whisper 'foreshadowingâ?
You need a drink.
After another 30 minutes in traffic, you make it to the hotel. Once Seojoon pays valet for parking, and the bellhops start loading your luggage onto one of the carts, you eagerly make your way inside of the hotel.
The hotel is nice, you have to admit. You know Seojoonâs company paid for it, but you canât help but feel a tad bit spoiled. The outside looks old but well kept, and the inside is a nice play on retro meets modern. It reminds you of a modern day great Gatsby, vintage looking chandeliers hang above the lobby, while the seating area consists of sleek black leather sofas and gold coffee tables with glass paneling. You like it. A lot. Nice distraction, pretty things are.
Rather than wait in the line with Seojoon to check in, you decide to take a little walk. See if there are any vending machines nearby; a quick snack before dinner is needed. So is time to clear your fucking head and lock in.
You stride the hallways sluggishly until you reach a corridor that has three vending machines, and feel a stupid sense of relief when you realize thereâs snacks and drinks, because you and Seojoon could definitely use a bit of caffeine to get you through to bedtime.
You step in front of the vending machine and begin looking through the treats inside; for drinks they have overpriced water and soda, and a few pre mixed coffees to choose from. You already decide youâll get the coldbrews before you begin trying to decide on snacks. Hard choice when youâre hungry and want everything.
You decide to get Seojoon an Almond Joy and bag of pretzels, because those are his favorite. And just as youâre about to decide for yourself, you feel someone fucking breathing down your neck.
You whip your head around, your mind immediately going to the worse case scenario; some creep, or some asshole trying to mug you, you donât know.
But itâs much worse than that once you realize who it is.
Jungkook. Jumpscare.
âWhat the fuck are you doing?â
You grit out at him breathlessly, adjusting your sweater just to calm your shaking hands down. Where the fuck did he even come from? Youâd think youâd hear his footsteps but no, apparently heâs a fucking ghost.
Haunting you like you suspected.
âOh, hi.â
Thatâs all he says as he leans against the wall next to the vending machines. Heâs smiling that stupid smile at you, but his eyes donât quite match. He looks⌠irritated. Just like you and Seojoon.
Funny, how you can immediately tell heâs irritated. But you canât read Seojoon quite as well at first glance.
âWell? You following me around like some creep now or what?â
You mumble as you turn to the vending machine, avoiding looking at him as you punch in random numbers for your own snack. Suddenly, not as hungry anymore. Your tone lacks heat though, itâs almost the tone of someone whoâs flustered. You arenât flustered though, definitely not. Have no reason to be.
âOh, my bad. Was just getting some snacks, hungry after the flight.â
He shrugs casually, and is telling the truth⌠mostly.
You eye him as the vending machine makes the annoying plop sound, depositing your snacks at the bottom. Unfortunately, you do know Jungkook, and the man isnât very prone to change or hiding his emotions. You can tell something is bothering him, and although you know damn well it isnât in your best interest to ask⌠you do it anyway.
âYou ok?â
He blinks at you, because he didnât expect you to ask. Didnât expect you to notice⌠or maybe he didnât expect you to care. But he remembers the same as you; you know him well. You know every single petal, bruise, wilt, and blossom inside of him, and not much has changed. Other than the fact heâs more obsessed with you, but thatâs not something heâs putting much effort in hiding.
But even then, it amazes him that as he smiles the smile that everyone else thinks is real, you can see something is off by simply looking into his eyes. They lack stars, glitter, planets⌠they arenât happy right now.
âIâm good, tired.â
He assures you, smiling again, but nibbling on his lip ring after as he glances at the vending machine. Scouting out choices. Avoiding the full truth as to whatâs eating at him right now.
What he doesnât tell you is how he ran into Seojoon in the lobby after checking in. Him and Sena got here before you guys did, and after he settled into his room, he wanted a snack. Was originally just going to make a trip to the vending machine, but got stopped by your apparent boyfriend. He genuinely didnât follow you⌠not at first, anyway.
Now heâs irritated.
Because Seojoon stopped him in the lobby. Slapped a hand on his back, saying âhey bro,â as if theyâre the best of pals. But Jungkook could tell Seojoon wasnât just happy to see him. Seojoon wanted something⌠what the fuck could he want from Jungkook?
âSo, listen, Iâm kind of in a dilemma and I was hoping you could help me out, man to man?â
God, what a sleazy fucking way to ask for a favor. But again, Jungkook had no idea what Seojoon could want. Is he broke? Does he need money? Did he forget underwear or some shit?
âUh, sure bro. Whatâs up?â Jungkook, being the sweetheart that he is, of course obliged⌠ok, maybe he isnât being a sweetheart, maybe heâs being facetious, but that's neither here nor there.
âSo the thing is⌠I brought Y/N thinking sheâd understand Iâm here for work, ya know? Thought maybe she could do her own thing since Iâm gonna be super busy⌠but sheâs being really clingy, man. Like really clingy⌠So I was hoping you could help me keep her occupied. Maybe show her around, be her tour guide or some shit. Get her off my back, bro to bro⌠between us. I donât want her getting lost or something.â
Bro to bro⌠as in he doesnât want you to know heâs asking Jungkook to do this.
If this was any other person, if you were any other girl, Jungkook would have said âfuck noâ and tattled on him. No, Jungkook isnât perfect, clearly, but he isnât about to be the scape goat for some asshole who canât treat his girl right.
But two things cross his mind, for better or for worse, he isnât sure; you arenât just any other girl. You are his Aster, the flower he once grieved but found his way back to⌠and he needed a fucking excuse to be close to you. This is perfect. Fucking godâs gift; where fate isnât on your side, it sure as hell is spoiling him.
That, and⌠A man knows a man. A liar knows a liar. A cheater knows a cheater.
You arenât the clingy type, never have been. You can be when youâre comfortable enough, but you arenât the kind of clingy that suffocates; youâre the kind of clingy that makes a man feel fucking wanted. Seojoon is lying. Why? Jungkook has a suspicion, one he knows because he, himself, has done it⌠he, himself, has asked his friends to get Sena off his back.
He thinks Seojoon is cheating.
With who? He has no fucking idea. Probably a coworker, or maybe he knows someone in New York. He doesnât comprehend why the fuck heâd invite you here if he was cheating and planned on meeting with someone⌠and frankly, he doesnât care. Not right now, anyway. Heâll decide to care once he sees more evidence.
Right now his only focus is you. The flower that stands out amongst the bustking city of New York.
So, he agreed, played the role of supportive bro. Assured Seojoon heâd keep you occupied for the weekend.
And Seojoon, well⌠he should feel guilty about it for more reasons than Jungkook is aware. But Seojoon is great at burying things in dirt and leaving them there until theyâre forgotten⌠or found, even.
If he wonât appreciate you, Jungkook will. And Jungkook will tell you one day⌠He has no idea how you ended up with some asshole like Seojoon, but he swears heâll tell you.
After you open up to him again. After you wonât suspect him of lying for personal gain, because itâs clear your trust in him is low right now. He doesnât even blame you for that, considering he nearly attacked you after seeing you for the first time in what feels like decades, but heâs going to try to earn it back.
You of course can tell Jungkook isnât being honest. Yes, maybe he is tired, but thatâs not why his smile isnât reaching his eyes. You want to pry, but also remember the boundaries youâve been trying to set. If you pry, Jungkook may get the wrong idea⌠so you simply donât.
His stare is too intense considering youâre standing awkwardly at the fucking vending machine. Those eyes of his looking at you as if heâs starving and youâre the only sliver of sunlight peeking through the clouds on a rainy day, so you move past him with your arm full of snacks and mumble, âAh, sorry, your turn.â
You donât check to see if his gaze follows you as you walk, but you can feel it. Like a single finger gently running up your spine and making goose bumps raise over your skin, you can fucking feel those eyes on you.
Please donât follow. Thatâs what you keep repeating to yourself as you make your way down the corridors of the hotel. The corridors which all look the same, the same doors, same carpet, same lights above you, the only difference are the numbers listed on the doors.
Fuck, since when did being around him fill you with so much anxiety? It was less than five minutes and your stomach is churning again. Sure, maybe itâs the lingering guilt, but that is precisely why you donât plan on making the same mistake twice with him. You must keep your distance.
Because if two seeds are planted next to each other, too close, surely the roots will grow entangled. Wrong, disformed, and what a mess it will be to try and untangle them when the time comes again. You canât do it twice. You wonât.
âYouâre going the wrong way.â
You must keep distance. You. But him? He doesnât care for the whole distance thing. In fact, it's his biggest fantasy to entangle your roots again; he tells himself it doesnât have to be the same as last time. His goal isnât to be romantic with you, although he silently yearns for it, he just wants his favorite person back. You can be friends again. Heâs sure of it.
âOh.â
Is all you mumble in response as you feel him walk beside you. When he appeared, you donât even know. You glance at him in suspicion that he was just following you this whole time, and made an excuse back at the vending machine. But sure enough, he has one of those prepackaged iced coffees in his hand.
You swear the woman on the Starbucks logo winks at you as if to say you canât run.
âY/N, this way.â
He grabs your elbow and tries steering you in the other direction, but you jerk away, maybe a little too hard. Hard enough that you almost drop the little pile of snacks in your hands, and you glare at him for it. Because fuck, he needs to stop touching you.
He side eyes you and his jaw clenches, the muscle in his jaw feathering. Hates the way you act like a spooked animal around him now. He knows kissing you was a fucking mistake, he shouldnât have acted so impulsively, and probably needs to apologize for it. But fuck, when has he ever hurt you?
Has he hurt you before?
âSorry.â
He apologizes as his brain starts working against him. Starts going through every encounter youâve had before and after the beginning and the end. Heâd never hurt you on purpose, ever, heâd rather die than hurt you. But now heâs wondering if he had. Although, Jungkook knows deep down that he hurt you back then. Any woman in your situation would be hurt. He just has a hard time accepting the fact heâs the one who fucked everything up.
He's the reason you wilted. Heâs the reason he was uprooted. Itâs all his fault.
âMhm.â
You hum in response, although you do start walking in the direction he attempted to guide you in. Itâs awkward, painfully so, and you both hate it. Jungkook probably hates it worse than you, and if heâs being honest, he realized on the plane heâs being too much.
He kissed you. Touched you. Spilt hot tea on your not-boyfriend. Stole your fucking wallet to have an excuse to see you again, although you donât know that. Now heâs following you to New York like some stalker. He can make all the excuses he wants about it being for the photography expo, but you both know thatâs not what it was.
Maybe a different approach would be better. Persistence is key, he always told himself. But he needs to be gentle too. Fuck.
âSo, anyway, yeah, you know⌠I was thinking-â
You donât mean to laugh. Fuck, you shouldnât even be smiling within 15 miles of him, but he sounds so stupid. Stuttering over his words before he even says anything... itâs cute, and makes it really hard to pretend youâre indifferent to him.
âSorry. Go ahead.â
He nibbles his lip ring again and tries to ignore the way his heart picks up pace at hearing you laugh. Knows youâre laughing at him. Maybe should be offended by it, but isnât. Fuck, heâll act a fool all day if it means you arenât looking at him like you want him to go away.
âYou should unblock me. I know, I know what youâre thinking but just hear me out ok?â
You want to protest the moment he says it. Itâs automatic at this point, defensive, because unblocking him would mean opening the door for⌠for what? For more chances to fuck shit up more than you both already have? You ended things for a reason. The same way books have a definite ending, a final page, you ended it with him and had no intention to write a sequel.
Yet, you donât say anything to stop him from explaining. Just keep walking as you see the lights to the lobby come into view.
âYou donât have to talk to me or anything, pinky promise I wonât blow your phone up. But if you get lost or something, you can call me.â
âYou blew my phone up on the plane.â
Jungkook damn near rolls his eyes. Because yeah, he did, he was bored, and⌠he missed you. You were right fucking there but so far away. Maybe heâs been too eager, but heâs starting to realize he needs to chill the fuck out. Overwatering a plant doesnât make it grow faster, doesnât benefit it at all. He swears heâll proceed with caution. He fucking swears.
âI know. Sorry. Swear I wonât do it again. You donât even have to tell me you unblock me, just⌠if you need me, ya know?â
Thatâs a partial truth. Because later heâs definitely going to check. Will send period, see if it delivers or not. But he makes a promise to himself heâll stop acting fucking insane over you.
For the most part, anyway.
You reach the lobby then, and donât give him an answer. Instead you make your way to Seojoon, who is standing beside the cart full of your luggage impatiently. Youâre hoping the snacks help his mood at the very least.
Jungkook wants to follow you, oh god he does. Wants to fucking tie you both together so he can follow you around and be with you the entire time... but he doesnât. Just nods to Seojoon and makes his way back to the elevator as he fidgets with the cap of his unopened coffee.
âHey, got you some snacks.â
You say to Seojoon with a tight lipped smile as you reach him. He returns the tight lipped smile, takes the drink and snacks, âThanks. My favorite.â
He opens the coffee and takes a swig of it. The tiniest drop drips down his chin, so you reach up to swipe it off, but he dodges you. Says nothing to soothe as he wipes it off himself. Fuck, heâs being weird.
âLets go get settled, then maybe figure out dinner.â
You nod quietly and follow him as he wheels the cart of luggage to the elevator. The silence is loud despite the fact you can hear various people chatting amongst themselves in the hotel lobby. Thankful when you hear the loud ding, itching to get this day over with so maybe things can go back to being fucking peaceful.
The elevator ride followed by the walk to your room doesnât take long, and you donât attempt to conversate with Seojoon. What use is it when heâs grumpy? You give him the silence he clearly wants, even as you enter the room.
It's nice, a bit small but it will do⌠and it has two beds, which you wonder about. Was he suddenly averse to sharing a bed with you? Or are you the one overthinking now?
âDidnât know it had two beds.â
Seojoon seems to read your mind, can see the unsure look on your face as you take in the space. Knows youâre overthinking. Itâs the truth, when he originally rented this room he was just aiming for the nicest one they had available for the dates youâll be here⌠although originally he wasnât planning to share it with you, it doesn't make a difference.
He didnât expect you to actually come when he invited you a while ago. But his original plans⌠fell through. Thatâs why he pushed you to come. Now it seems his original plan came to bite him in the ass anyway.
Regardless, Seojoon works on taking both of your luggage off of the cart, while you take a quick look around. Thereâs a tiny balcony attached, which you love. The bathroom is nicely sized, and the dĂŠcor is full of weathered gold accents. Little vases, trays for your personal belongings such as keys and wallets, even the coffee pot is gold. Its very pretty, but what does gold remind you of?
You donât even want to acknowledge it.
âSo, dinnerâŚâ
Seojoon cuts your thoughts off as he finishes unloading your luggage. You had been looking out at the city from the glass door of the balcony, so you turn to face him and give him your full attention. He isnât even looking at you as he speaks, heâs staring at his phone, clearly distracted as he types away. Probably work, you reason with yourself⌠although it feels off. Everything about this trip feels so fucking off and thatâs not at all what you came for.
You hope after today, things feel better. Fuck, this is the last thing you need. Jungkook being here, now Seojoon being weird.
âYeah? What were you thinking?â
You ask as you make your way to one of the beds, plop down on it and sigh, closing your eyes as you try relax your mind and your tense joints. Dinner and sleep is what you both need, and when he has time, youâre sure heâll end up spending it with you. Heâs the one who made you his girlfriend, was clearly eager for it, so why wouldnât he?
âMmm⌠thereâs a restaurant in the hotel, has good reviews, maybe we can just go there for tonight.â
You nod at him, âSounds good, we can go whenever.â
He looks at you then, finally tearing his eyes away from his phone. You donât realize it at first, but heâs giving you the look of someone whoâs judging. Because in his mind, this is a 5 star hotel, the restaurant is nice, are you really going to go in leggings and a fucking sweater?
âYou arenât gonna change?â
He asks, trying to keep his tone light, but you can hear the slight displease there. You open your eyes and try to get a read on his face. Donât like how heâs looking at you.
âUh⌠I mean, I can?â
âGreat, change and freshen up then weâll go.â
He didnât even give you a chance to say you donât want to change, and you were going to tell him you would prefer to be comfortable after the long flight, but clearly he isnât having it. Clearly his ego is talking right now, and youâre not the biggest fan.
You nod anyway though, because suddenly your backbone seems to be missing, which isnât normal. Normally youâd have no issue telling him no to something⌠but you start to realize youâve become a pushover. Ever since you started seeing him, he pushes you, and when you push back he pushes harder.
Itâs how you ended up going to that dinner with his friends. It's how youâre now considered his girlfriend. Itâs how you ended up on this trip. Itâs how you ended up getting off of the bed and silently moving towards your fucking luggage to change, despite the fact you feel like you shouldnât have to.
It's a bit degrading, but you wonât admit that. You can chalk it up to the fact that maybe heâs right, this is a nice hotel, you should dress accordingly. Your confidence isnât hurt, you donât feel a little insecure.
Denial. Burying things in dirt so you donât have to face them⌠something you unknowingly share in comming with Seojoon, especially lately, but that isnât what youâre doing, you swear.
You dig through your luggage without arguing further, pull out a little black dress. Simple enough to look nice, especially if paired with some jewelry. You grab your makeup and toiletry bag as well, and then make your way into the bathroom,
 âIâll be ready in 20.â Is all you say before closing the door and locking it shut.
Youâre tired, just like he is, which is why you didnât want to be bothered by getting pretty tonight... but you do it anyway. You run your fingers through your hair, style it loosely before you work on your makeup. You do it simply, make sure your complexion is glowing, add some eyeliner and lip stain, and do some finishing touches before you get dressed.
And one very unwelcome thought crosses your mind. Itâs as if a fucking bird swoops in, starts picking at the roots of your brain, or maybe planting seeds that have no business being thereâŚ
Jungkook would have never said that.
You try to brush the thought off as you put your dress on, but you just canât. Because the fact of the matter is, Jungkook would have NEVER told you to change, no matter where youâre going. He could have invited you to the most prestige 5 star restaurant in New York, and would have been fine if you wore a fucking trash bag. Would have probably told you how pretty you are too, hell, he may have even worn one to match so youâre more comfortable.
But Seojoon isnât Jungkook, he never will be, thatâs how it should be⌠so why does the thought make the zap in your chest return?
You shake out your arms once the dress is on, wiggle your torso a bit, as if to physically shake such dangerous thoughts away. Itâs one thing to be thinking them when heâs no where near you⌠but heâs fucking here. Maybe not in the same room, but heâs in this hotel. Thinking about him while simultaneously trying to avoid him is the worst thing you could do.
You look at yourself in the mirror and stare for a moment. Normally, youâre ok with how you look. You have good days and bad days, just like any woman does, but tonight in particular youâre doubting yourself. That bird that came to visit you seems cruel as it picks and prods and plants even more thoughts⌠What if you embarrass Seojoon?
âY/N you almost done? Iâm hungry.â
His tone is impatient, but not unkind. You are trying to be patient with him tonight, trying not to let those thoughts take hold of you or your mood considering he must just be tired. At least he snapped you out of your own troubling thoughts, but god, you wish heâd just⌠go back to normal. Wish he wasn't the reason for them in the first place.
âYeah, coming.â
You call out from the bathroom, giving yourself one last once over before opening the door. As you open it, Seojoon locks his phone a bit faster than normal, but you donât look too much into it. Youâre clearly sensitive today, so is he, you can look into stuff when you arenât feeling some type of way about every little thing.
He looks you up and down as you step out of the bathroom to grab your purse, and he nods in approval, âThatâs my girl, cleaned up nice.â
You know he means it as a compliment, but it doesnât feel like one. Feels degrading, once again⌠and the only time you ever liked being degraded was withâ
No. Stop.
He's already changed into a button up and some slacks. He looks nice, but thatâs nothing new for Seojoon considering his job. Always wearing the nicest clothing he can.
âMhm. Ready?â
You ask as you reach into your purse, grab your perfume and spray a bit on your chest and arms before securing your purse over your shoulder, and he nods. After you slip on the only pair of heels you packed, you both make your way out of the hotel room, down the hall to the elevator which seems to be in the middle of closing right as you reach it.
That is, until a hand reaches out to stop it from closing.
A tattooed hand.
Fuck.
âThanks, man.â
Seojoon says casually, and you damn near smack him across the head. Because in the elevator is not only Jungkook, but Sena too. How fucking ironic.
You almost want to accuse him of following you again, but you know thereâs no way he was. Unless he has some sort of camera or listening device hidden in your hotel room, and honestly you wouldnât put it past him but⌠you know logically, thatâs impossible.
You glare at Jungkook as you enter the elevator, and turn your back to him. He doesnât notice, because holy fuck, heâs stuck on how pretty you look.
How good you look in that dress. How good you smell. How nice your hair looks. How nice your ass looks. How youâre simply here, in the same space he is. Jesus fuck, he misses you, has half a mind to deck Seojoon in the face for existing near you.
âWhere you guys headed? Dinner?â
Seojoon asks, and Jungkook nods. Sena doesnât acknowledge anyone, although she did give Seojoon a little nod in greeting. Fuck you, you guess.
But to be fair, you donât acknowledge them either. Because what if someone starts talking too much, and proposes everyone eats dinner together? Fuck no. You canât handle that right now, not with Seojoon being weird and you being moody.
From then on, the elevator ride is quiet. Awkward, just as it was in the hallway. You can hear everyone breathing, although Jungkookâs breath is a bit deeper than the rest. Because heâs having a very hard time being quiet, and being stuck in this small space with you. Itâs torture, really.
The ding of the elevator signals youâre on the ground floor, and you exit quicker than you meant to, which earns you an side eye from Seojoon. You just smile at him, reach over to grab his hand and drag him along, hoping heâll take the lead because you donât know where the fuck the restaurant is. He obliges luckily, and starts leading the way.
The restaurant isnât too far off from the lobby, just down one of the hallways. When you enter, you notice how packed it is. Almost every table is full, and youâre hoping for a miracle because if Seojoon waits more than 15 minutes, you know his mood will get even more intolerable. Especially considering the food smells potent, delicious, it makes your stomach growl. You donât even know what kind of food they have here, but god youâre hungry. You didnât even eat your snack earlier.
âWelcome, table for two?â
The hostess asks, and Seojoon nods.
âGot it, itâll be about an hour wait time before a table is ready.â
Of course.
âSeriously? What about that one over there?â
Seojoon nods to a table with four seats in the far corner.
âAh, sorry sir, thatâs reserved for groups of four, if we werenât so busy tonight Iâd gladly seat you there.â
Seojoon huffs, and starts rubbing his temples, considering leaving and going somewhere else. But leaving would mean having to drive into traffic, and every other place is probably just as busy at this hour. Room service is also an option, but it would be an even longer wait considering room service comes from the restaurant.
âWe could just have dinner together?â
Surely youâre delirious from hunger and the lingering affects of benadryl.
You turn around, hadnât even noticed there was anyone behind you, and of course itâs Jungkook and Sena. Sena is looking at him like she wants to stab him, and for the first time youâre with her on this one.
You do not want to have fucking dinner with them.
âUh, what would the wait be then?â
Seojoon asks the hostess, and she gives him a plastic smile, âNo wait, could go ahead and seat you now.â
âOk great, then lets do it.â
Seojoon doesnât particularly care about having dinner with them⌠well, not entirely. Heâs just hungry, and although he didnât say anything earlier, he didnât want a fucking Almond Joy and Pretzels. He wants food. He can deal with Sena giving him dagger eyes and Jungkookâs annoying chatter if it means he gets to eat an actual meal.
âBut Seojoonââ
âJungkookââ
Seems you and Sena are in sync at this moment, neither of you wanting to have fucking dinner together, although for different reasons.
Sena doesnât like you. That has been established. The last time you had dinner together, you got on her fucking nerves. She saw you as rude, and to be honest, she simply doesnât like you. Doesnât like you around Jungkook⌠or Seojoon. Itâs bad enough she had to drag Jungkook here with her, now she has to share another meal with you?
You feel similarly, although you feel youâd be more justified for it. You can tell she doesnât like you, and in your head she doesnât have a fucking reason to be that way⌠or maybe she does, a voice whispers in your head. You hope she fucking doesnât.
âOh come on, itâs either dinner together or we wait forever. Itâll be fine.â
Ever the peacekeeper, Seojoon pipes in. You awkwardly look at him, and then back to Jungkook and Sena, and Jungkook looks like he couldnât be happier. Because really, this is the highlight of his night. He didnât even follow you around like a fucking dog this time, itâs just divine timing. He gets to be near you, share a meal with you⌠swears he wonât spill anything on Seojoon this time.
âGreat! Right this way,â
The hostess cuts in, not giving anyone time to protest, most likely because thereâs a line behind you and things are busy.
You begrudgingly follow the hostess to the corner where the table is, and take your seat. Itâs quiet as you all sit down, and of course you sit next to Seojoon. No way are you sitting next to Jungkook.
Except he sits in front of you, which might be fucking worse. Because now you have to look at him. You have to look at those eyes which are currently shining with stars again, all because his night is turning out much better than he anticipated. Truthfully, he loathed the idea of eating dinner with Sena. Sheâs grumpy, always is, but is more grumpy than usual tonight. She of course guilted him into it, said it would be embarrassing if she was having dinner alone and her coworkers were there to see⌠which is funny to him, considering sheâs the one who acted embarrassed that he came on this trip at all.
But it doesnât matter now, because youâre here. As long as youâre here, heâs giddy. Nothing can ruin his night⌠other than you telling him you hate him and never want to talk to him again, but you wonât, not tonight and in front of each others partners anyway.
As you all settle in to the table, you start sifting through the menu. Make a point not to make eye contact with anyone. Seojoon flags one of the waiters, impatient as ever, orders a bottle of wine and some bread for the table.
The menu is a good distraction, as you realize it has primarily Italian dishes. Spaghetti, lasagna, chicken alfredo, carbonara, it all makes you much hungrier. Makes it easier to ignore the bearded iris practically blooming right in front of you.
âYouâll get a salad, yeah?â
Seojoon asks you, his face buried in the menu like yours. You blink at him as he asks, wondering if heâs making a joke to cut the tension. You wait for it, because you will easily look up and laugh just to make things seem normal right now.
Except heâs not joking, judging by the way he looks up from his menu expectantly. Since when did he fucking decide what you eat? It catches you so off guard that you don't know what to say.
Fuck, what is his problem?
âA salad? I havenât had a real meal since yesterday.â
You argue weakly. Again, your backbone is missing, because today has just been awful and youâre starting to realize you donât know how to handle Seojoon. Things seemed so perfect before he declared you his girlfriend, now itâs like⌠he has some sort of ownership on you.
âAnd? You shouldnât be eating anything heavy this late into the evening, so you should get a salad.â
Youâre bewildered when he says this, because what the fuck? You were on a plane all fucking day, what does it matter if you eat a bowl of pasta? Itâs not even 8pm yet. Itâd be one thing if he had a valid reason, but when have you ever ordered a salad when you went out on dates? And when has he ever ordered for you?
âAnd? What are you getting?â
You retort, your tone finally turning clipped because youâve had it with him today. Ever since you landed, heâs been acting like a dick. Bossing you around, speaking to you like a child, giving you the fucking ick. Your patience is at itâs limit, you being hungry only makes it worse, and he wants to tell you to get a salad?
âIâm getting the steak, why does it matter?â
âSo why can you get a steak and I have to get a salad? Whatâs the difference?â
âIâm a man, Y/N, and I donât like salads.â
âOk, and I want pasta.â
âWhy are you getting an attitude right now? It was just a suggestion.â
How embarrassing, your first actual argument as a couple is in the middle of a restaurant, in a foreign country youâre visiting, in front of two people you donât want to fucking be around. Youâre shocked, because you didnât expect him to talk to you like this, especially in front of people. A suggestion? Bullshit. He was bossing you around again, and for the first time youâre starting to actually question him. Not just his behavior today, but what the fuck did you see in him all these months? Had he done this before and you were in denial about it, but youâre finally seeing it now? Or is he switching up because of the fact he has security in your new label?
He may as well have uprooted you and put you in a pot, slapped a label on it that says Property of Seojoon with how heâs fucking acting.
âYou her dietitian or her boyfriend?â
You and Seojoon both look away from each other to look at Jungkook, who looks pissed. Seojoon wouldnât notice, because he doesnât know Jungkook like that. But you, oh you know him, and the feathering in his jaw is all you needed to see to know heâs irritated.
Part of you wants to butt in and tell him to back off, mind his business, set those boundaries and build those protective fences youâve been trying to since you reunited with him. Youâre certain heâll use this as an excuse to pry, maybe even try to talk you into breaking up with him⌠regardless of the fact you didnât technically agree to the label Seojoon slapped on your pot, thatâs what it would be; breaking up.
But the bigger part of you⌠almost likes it. Likes the fact that Jungkook doesnât care that Sena is here, or Seojoon is your boyfriend, and heâs speaking up anyway. Standing up for you, much like you did at Taehyungs when Sena spoke to him like a fucking child. Youâre tired of Seojoonâs attitude tonight, and clearly your backbone is too considering youâve dealt with it all day and havenât spoken up until now.
Seojoon looks at Jungkook like heâs an idiot, thinking to himself he canât seriously be butting in. Who is he to butt in on this? He was just looking out for your health, but youâre so stubborn about everything. He thought Jungkook was on his side after their earlier conversation?
"Boyfriend, obviously. What, you donât look out for Senaâs health? Youâd tell her to order a salad if you knew sheâd get an upset stomach.â
Speaking of Sena, sheâs watching the entire thing unfold with the most bored look on her face⌠but her eyes glitter with amusement. Sheâs enjoying the fact youâre arguing with Seojoon, not as perfect as you pretended to be at Taehyungs.
âSheâs not gonna get an upset stomach from eating pasta. And I donât order for Sena anyway, sheâs a grown ass woman, so is Y/N.â
Seojoon looks at you as if to encourage you to speak up, side with him, tell Jungkook to fuck off. But, you donât, because the side of you that likes this is too prominent to do so. You just stare at Seojoon, looking at him like heâs the stupid one now, and he fucking scoffs.
âTch. Whatever then, order pasta.â
The waiter comes then, breaking off the argument and setting the bottle of wine Seojoon ordered on the table before taking everyoneâs order. You order first, choosing the chicken alfredo, which Seojoon rolls his eyes about. Jungkook orders after you, orders the same thing⌠and you wonder if he did that shit on purpose. Seojoon orders his steak, his tone clipped, and Sena orders a fucking salad. You almost want to laugh, wondering if she did it just to spite you, but then you remember the kale salad she brought to Taehyungs get together. So probably not.
Except she totally did, to spite you, or silently prove sheâs better at listening than you, she wonât admit it. Youâll never catch on anyway.
After the food is ordered, itâs quiet at the table. Sena and Seojoon are both on their phones, as if theyâre disconnecting themselves from the tension. Which is why you look at Jungkook, and almost flinch when you see heâs already looking at you. Of course he is, youâre the prettiest thing in the room. Prettiest thing in New York. Prettiest thing ever.
You both stare at each other for a moment, and then he clicks his tongue as if to say âIâm disappointed.â Because he is, he finds himself wondering for the second time today how the fuck you ended up with a guy like this. Did you really like Seojoon? Or were you that desperate to forget him? What flower would Seojoon even be, if he was the one taking Jungkookâs spot in the soil next to yours?
Jungkook knows heâs not much better, heâs a certified cheater, and even Bearded Irises are poisonous, which is something not many people realize because of how pretty they are. So what about Seojoon? The picture perfect boyfriend who seemingly has no flaws, but many secrets that only Jungkook can see?
Maybe Mountain Laurel, beautiful at first glance, but can be deadly if you get too close⌠let them in.
Of course, youâre oblivious to this elaborate train of thought Jungkook has gone through, all you know is he is definitely questioning you. The fences you put up to keep him out are still intact, but theyâre wavering, the posts arenât as sturdy as they should be considering you arenât even mad. You feel thankful that heâs looking out for you, which is pathetic considering itâs against your own boyfriend. You shouldnât need your... whatever he was, to defend you like this.
But you did. And heâs here. And youâre thankful.
You laugh to yourself and duck your head, shaking it slightly, and oh Jungkook damn near fucking melts. Loves seeing you smile, hearing you laugh, even if it isnât humorous. It unravels him, makes him stop thinking about the fact that Seojoon is clearly an even more poisonous flower than he is, makes him start thinking about how pretty of an Aster you are. Are you still an Aster, even? Did you grow into something new? Will you let him watch you grow?
Seojoonâs eyes tilted up from his phone to see what you were laughing about. Notices the way Jungkook is looking at you. It fucking irks him to his core, because in his head, youâre both laughing at him. Embarrassing him. Jungkook is looking at you as if he feels bad for you, which is a fucking joke. To him it is, anyway.
Thatâs when he really looks at Jungkook for the first time since he met him at Taehyungs. The lip piercing, the tattooed arm, the hair, the choice of clothes⌠how old is he, anyway? Dressing like a highschooler going through his emo phase, in a restaurant like this? And he thinks he can look at you with pity?
âInteresting outfit choice.â
It just sort of slips out, and Seojoon nods to Jungkook. Jungkook blinks at him, genuinely confused for a moment, and then looks down at himself.
He's wearing a baggy black shirt, some baggy sweats to go with it. Ok, yeah, he isnât dressed to impress, especially not like Seojoon⌠with his stupid lux button up and perfectly ironed slacks. But theyâre in a fucking hotel restaurant, they were traveling all day, what does he expect?
Is he really being petty right now? Funny, how Seojoon was comparing Jungkook to a highschooler, because Jungkook is also comparing Seojoon to a highschooler. Although not going through his emo phase, instead one of those stuck up football players that thinks everyone should kiss their fucking feet.
âYeah? Whatâs wrong with it?â
Jungkook smirks when he says it, itâs cocky. Cocky because he doesnât give a fuck what Seojoon thinks, and he feels like heâs in on a secret that Seojoon isnât. You hate judgmental people, and you already stuck up for Jungkook once, he knows youâll do it again. Seojoon is making such a fucking ass out of himself that Jungkook canât even bring himself to be mad about it.
âOh, nothings wrong with it, just didnât think sweats were fit for a place like this.â
Seojoon laughs to himself, looks at Sena for approval because he knows damn well you won't laugh at his joke, which isnât really a joke. And of course, Sena is now looking at Jungkook with disdain.
âI told you to change. You look like a hobo.â
âWhatâs wrong with looking like a hobo? Theyâre badass.â
âWeâre in a 5 star hotel and youâre dressed like you canât afford to get in, thatâs what.â
âBut I can afford to get in, so jokes on whoever thinks I canât.â
âYouâre a fucking child.â
It might be wrong of you, but you donât feel quite as bad about you and Seojoon arguing when you hear Sena and Jungkook start to argue. Makes you feel normal. You know in the back of your mind that the way Seojoon is acting isnât normal, nor is the way Sena is. But at this table, clearly it's normal.
âI think he looks nice.â
You mumble it quietly, looking down at the dessert menu as you say it. You donât know why the fuck you say it, and you know you just added fuel to the fire, just encouraged Jungkook by complimenting him, no matter how subtle or vague it was. Can feel Seojoon looking at you as if youâre the stupid one now, can see Sena out of the corner of your eye looking at you like youâre dirt.
But it was worth it. Because fuck, they need to shut up. This is a disaster already, Seojoon trying to have a pissing contest with Jungkook all because he stepped in when he was being a dick.
âI do, right? Thanks.â
Jungkook says it sarcastically, but on the inside is preening. You did exactly as he thought you would, even if heâs on the other side of the fence, youâre defending him. Even said he looks nice, fuck, what a confidence boost.
You bite your lip to stifle a giggle, and Jungkookâs eyes crinkle up heavily. He doesnât even try to hide his laugh, itâs quiet, but itâs there, and it makes you start laughing too. You both sound like children, and maybe you are both big children. Maybe thatâs why you both got each other so well, compared to the prickly pair sitting next to you, who donât find it amusing in the slightest.
Your food arrives shortly after the little giggle fit, and everyone digs in eagerly. Despite the petty bickering, everyone is hungry, and maybe food will help keep it civil. Jungkook takes it upon himself  to pour everyone a glass of wine before eating, which Seojoon clearly forgot about after the back and forth. Makes sure you have the fullest glass⌠Makes sure Seojoon has the least full one.
You take a sip almost immediately, and the warm buzz hits you fairly quickly considering you donât have much else in your system. Itâs nice. Makes things feel less tense, although still tense. At least more bearable.
You begin eating your chicken alfredo after, and it really hits the spot. Not only for you, but Jungkook too, judging by that angry look on his face. Fuck, thatâs one of the things you miss about him; you always knew the food was fucking delicious if he looked a little grumpy while eating. Like a pissed off bunny or something. Itâs cute. And you shouldnât be thinking like that.
âSâgood?â
You mutter around a mouthful, unsure why youâre feeding him, metaphorically of course. Feeding him the attention heâs been trying to get from you since you both reunited. You know damn well heâll take these crumbs and push for more, but you canât help it. Not when he looks cute, Seojoon is being an asshole, and Jungkook is the one who's making you feel better.
This is how things get messy. Much like Jungkook when he eats, because one thing about Jungkook is he always eats well⌠food or not.
âSo good,â
He mutters back, also around a mouthful, and you both giggle again. Seojoon is eating quietly, because heâs irritated, wants to go back to the room as soon as possible and pretend everything is fine because he sure as hell doesnât want to argue with you again. Part of him wants to call you out for letting Jungkook talk to him like that, but he thinks better of it, doesnât want to get on Jungkookâs bad side⌠not when he asked Jungkook that favor earlier.
Sena is also eating quietly, although she does look at you and Jungkook like unruly children, no one cares. Youâre here to eat, and wouldnât be sitting with them if it werenât for avoiding an hour long wait.
Thereâs no small talk as you all eat your food, and you prefer it that way. Itâs been a tiring day, so focusing on eating while people watching is more relaxing than pretending you like Sena, or youâre fine with how Seojoon is acting, or the fact you and Jungkook once planted a garden together but youâre pretending you didnât.
After about 20 minutes, youâve polished off your plate. Jungkook has been done for some time now, Seojoon is finishing up same as you. Sena is picking at her salad, barely even touched it, and she looks a bit⌠pale.
âIâm tired. Going back to my room. Text me if you need anything, but remember Iâm booked tomorrow.â
She says as she wipes her mouth, gets up and grabs her purse. âBills on you.â
Then she walks off, excusing herself without so as much a goodbye. You donât mind though, because the tension comes down ever so slightly now that shes gone.
Jungkook nods, doesnât care, was gonna pay anyway even though he knows her company should have everything covered on her end of this trip. He eyes Seojoon, who is a little too focused on his phone, face buried in it as if something urgent is happening⌠Mountain Laurel.
His phone starts buzzing, which is when you look at him. His brows furrow as if heâs considering answering it, and then he looks back at you. Gives you that tight lipped smile again as he reaches into his pocket, pulls out his wallet, and reaches for his credit card. Slides it to you and taps it twice.
âWork call, gonna head up to the room. Dinners on me, even if you didnât order a salad.â
He winks. As if itâs fucking funny.
He then eyes Jungkook, and where Sena was sitting before rushing off, âGet theirs too, my treat.â
He pats your head and then gets up, nods goodbye to Jungkook, as if he just did him a huge favor offering to pay for his dinner. It pisses you off, but not Jungkook. Jungkook just fucking laughs, shakes his head, wonders if Seojoon thinks this is enough for Jungkook to keep his little secret. More like secrets, because Jungkook knows this guy is hiding something else. Still not sure exactly what it is, but heâll find out. Will tell you when he does.
Now itâs just you and Jungkook.
Fuck, the tension drains quickly, but comes back just as fast, itâs just... different. It isnât unpleasant, just heated in a way it only ever was with Jungkook. Like a warm summers day, the same warmth that caused you to photosynthesize over time. Made you both flourish despite the fact you had no business doing so.
âWanna go smoke?â
He tempts you, like the devil youâre sure he is. Always fucking tempting you when heâs around, and even when he isnât. Much like the millions of times heâs haunted your dreams over the time youâve been apart, tempting you to reach out, to check on him, to fucking intertwine your roots again.
âSure.â
Yet you agree anyway. Because yeah, you could use a fucking smoke. Thatâs all it is, and you didnât bring yours with you.
Jungkook knew youâd say yes.
He flags the waiter then, who comes with a smile, probably anticipating a big tip which you plan on giving. Except, Jungkook beats you to it. He pulls out his card so fast it looks like heâs in a rush to be somewhere, holds out one hand toward you as if to halt you from moving, the other holding his card out to the waiter.
âIâd like to pay for these three with my card, the other is separate, can go on that card.â
He gestures to yours, Senaâs, and his plate, and then Seojoonâs as he nods to the card he left on the table.
Because Jungkook will be damned if he lets Seojoon fucking pay for your shit, but he sure as hell wonât pay for Seojoonâs. Itâs petty, yeah, but Jungkook is a petty person. Clearly.
At least he didnât spill tea on him this time⌠or wine, rather. Heâs paying for this expensive ass wine too, by the way. Barely touched by Seojoon, Sena didnât take a single sip of it, but you and Jungkook almost polished your glasses off.
You donât say anything about him paying for yours, or not paying for Seojoonâs. Youâve fed him enough reactions tonight, and maybe that tiny (not so tiny) part of you that liked him speaking up on your behalf also likes the fact that heâs paying for your food. Maybe itâs the wine talking.
You begin gathering your things as you wait for the waiter to return, clean up the table a bit. It doesnât take him long to get back with both cards. Jungkook signs his receipt, leaves a hefty tip. You sign the receipt meant for Seojoonâs card, also leave a hefty tip⌠itâs the least you could do. Especially if the poor waiter heard any of the bickering going on, although youâre sure heâs heard worse.
You both make your way out of the restaurant then, walking silently down the long corridors of the hotel, each step further away from the noise. Unlike earlier at the vending machine, it isnât awkward now. It really might have something to do with the wine, always makes you a little more breezy, and as long as you're at ease, so is Jungkook. He feeds off of your energy like the plant he is.
Once you get to the back exit of the hotel, Jungkook holds the door open for you. You walk out and take a deep breath; New Yorks air isnât the freshest, but itâs nice. Different. Not as suffocating as being around Seojoon was today.
Jungkook leans against the wall as he digs into the pocket of his sweats, pulls out a pack of cigarettes. They look new, which means he got them sometime today. You vaguely wonder if heâs been smoking more since⌠well, since you both wilted.
He offers you one first, but when you reach to grab it, he pulls it out of reach. You huff at him, wondering why heâs suddenly taking it back, wondering if maybe this was just a ploy to get you alone.
âSay âAh,ââ
Yeah. Maybe wine was a bad fucking idea.
You glare at him, and he starts grinning like an idiot, that shit eating grin of his every time he does something mischievous is ever present on his pretty lips. He knows heâs pushing it, but heâs only joking of course⌠friends joke around. He wants to be your friend. Thatâs all.
Too tired and done with tonight to argue, and against your better judgment, you open your mouth for him. And oh fuck, he didnât actually expect you to do it. He expected you to swat at him and call him an asshole, maybe even walk back inside. Not open your mouth for him like you used to when heâd ask⌠under much different circumstances of course, which dredges up memories that are disastrous considering heâs wearing fucking sweatpants.
He clears his throat and swiftly puts the cigarette in your mouth, flicks his lighter and lights the cigarette for you. Looks away as he puts his own cigarette in his mouth and lights it, one hand covering the flame as his cigarette ignites. Ignores the fact that it's trembling slightly.
You both puff on your cigarette in silence, taking in the city before you. Its liveky, even at this time of night, especially then. People passing the sidewalks, lovers holding hands as they walk, taxis zooming past. Itâs oddly peaceful.
âYou look pretty.â
Was peaceful, until he opened his stupid mouth and ruined it. Made your heart skip a beat.
You glance at him as you blow smoke out of your mouth, flicking the end of your cigarette, picking at it after. You want to ignore it, but you also donât want to make it awkward again⌠ok, and maybe the wine made his words feel a lot more fuzzy than youâd normally allow. Butterflies covered in crimson.
âMmm. Thanks.â
You mumble, look away from him, try to focus back on the nightlife.
âYou have plans tomorrow?â
He asks, no longer leaning on the wall. You havenât even noticed it, but ever since he lit his cigarette heâs been slowly inching towards you. A little shift of his feet here and there, could be seen as accidental, but it isnât. He promised himself heâd calm down around you, wouldnât be so pushy⌠and after tonight, he knows Seojoon is pushy enough, you donât need another man being an idiot towards you.
But he canât help himself. Just wants to feel your warmth, if he canât touch you, heâll get close. Play it off. He canât help the way he fucking vibrates out of his skin near you. Itâs always been that way, but the fact that things are different now, and he canât touch, it makes it so much fucking worse.
You shrug at him, because truthfully you didnât have plans. Youâre kind of stunted on what to do considering Seojoon is going to be busy most of the day, if not the entire day, and you didnât exactly have time before coming to plan out any activities. You were hoping Seojoon would show you around, take you to do something fun, but clearly that isnât going to happen.
âDunno. Maybe go to a museum or something. Wanna see Central Park tooâŚâ
Youâve never been the biggest fan of museums, but theyâre a default answer when traveling. You know they have a lovely botanical garden, remember seeing one of your friends post about it on Instagram once on vacation. And of course, the clichĂŠ answer, Central Park. You really do want to go though, mark it off your bucket list.
Going alone seems intimidating.
âYou know⌠we could go together. I know the area sort of, been here a few times.â
He proposes lightly, as if it isnât a big deal, shrugs after and flicks his cigarette. Watches the ashes fall to the ground. It is a big deal though, because fuck, he wants to do these things with you. Wants to see you get excited about all the cool things here, or even irritated at the crowded environment. Wants to be the one to stare at you, only you, in a place with thousands of bodies.
Because youâll be the most interesting thing there is. The prettiest flower amongst thousands of flower turned people.
You shrug again, because you arenât sure what to say. Youâve finally noticed how close he is, so close youâd have to look up at him to see his face, which you completely avoid doing. It makes it hard to say no, hard to say yes, hard to say anything at all. Heâs fucking suffocating and he isnât even doing anything.
Suffocating in a way you donât hate at this moment.
âI dunno. Maybeââ
âAs friends.â
His voice is low, quiet, and he steps even closer, but this time itâs deliberate. Not quite nose to nose, but almost. His bulky figure blocks everything else around you, making it impossible to focus on anything other than him. Fuck, he smells good, still wears the same cologne. Heâs too fucking close. If you were to kiss him, which you fucking wonât, all youâd have to do is tip toe up to him. Press your lips to his.
His jaw feathers again, although this time it isnât out of irritation. He wonât admit what it is, neither of you will, because you know what it is. You know what that look means, that heavy looks he gets, similar to the one at the dinner table at Taehyungâs. He wants to reach out so fucking bad. Even drops his cigarette without realizing it as his fingers twitch with the urge to touch. Fuck, he wants to touch so bad.
âFriends donât look at each other like this.â
You mutter, and want to look away, but canât. Not when heâs this close. Part of you doesnât want to. You can almost feel it, his roots digging into the soil, under the protective fence youâve put around yourself. Reaching for your roots, damn near touching them, igniting something that you swore you wouldnât let be ignited again. Not as long as heâs married, if ever again at all.
All because he got too fucking close.
And he knows what heâs doing. No, heâs not being as pushy, but he knows heâs poisonous. You have to make sure youâre wearing a long sleeved shirt when handling iris, gloves too, otherwise your skin will become irritated, remnants of touching something you shouldnât be fucking touching will be left. And unfortunately, youâre wearing a short sleeved dress, and you damn sure donât have gloves on.
âSometimes they do.â
He murmurs, his eyes dancing across your face, taking in details he feels he took for granted before. Thinks youâre the prettiest woman, person, flower, garden, planet he has ever seen. Wishes he could tattoo your face on his frontal lobe, make you the center of his existence again. Because thatâs what you were, even if he went about it wrong.
He was a coward. Was, being the key word. Heâd do just about anything for you now that he has you back, even minutely.
âBut they donât,â
You retort weakly. But itâs the truth, friends have no business looking at each other the way Jungkook is looking at you right now. Like he wants to eat you, kiss the ground you walk on, snatch you up and take you somewhere far away from here where no one can take you from him. And you arenât innocent either, youâre looking at him similarly. Itâs the wine, you swear.
Look, donât touch.
He reaches out, grabs a piece of your hair and twirls it around his finger, plays with it for a second before tugging it. It makes your eyelashes flutter, your breath hitch a bit. Itâs childish in a way, fucking devious in another. But youâve given him enough reactions tonight, so you slightly tug your head away from him, your hair falling from his fingers like a leaf falling from a tree in autumn. Fucking tragic.
âUnblock me, Y/N. Just while weâre here, can block me again when weâre in Seoul.â
He tries to reason with you, but fuck he hopes after this trip youâll choose to leave him unblocked. Fate has been on his side thus far, and he hopes to whatever higher power above it doesnât stop here. Hopes this is the place where youâll come together again, where youâll start to bloom again, even if itâs in a different way.
You swallow hard before responding, starting to get cotton mouth much like you do after youâve had a bad dream. The same dreams that normally consist of him adorned in wilting petals, vanishing right before you⌠and the thought of him vanishing right now, of this being another bad dream, it almost makes you panic. You realize how much you donât want that to happen.
You get that zapping sensation in your chest again, and idly wonder if you need to see a doctor.
âIâll consider it.â
You already did. Youâre gonna unblock him as soon as you get in your hotel room.
You flick your cigarette on the pavement, and it lands crisscross with his. Might be a bad omen, or a sign of good luck, you arenât sure.
He leans down impulsively, this time he actually is nose to nose with you, although he isnât sure why. In a perfect world, youâd wrap your arms around his neck, kiss him like youâll die without him, then let him carry you up to his hotel room where heâd do ungodly things to you. But he knows that wonât happen, that sort of thought should be saved for the shower.
Funnily enough, youâre daydreaming about doing that exact thing. You catch yourself quickly, push at his chest.
âI should get back up before Seojoon thinks I ran off with his credit card.â
You mutter as you reach into your purse, pull out your bottle of perfume and douse yourself in it, completely ignoring whatever fucked up heated moment you just had. Because although Jungkook fills you with warmth, even a flower can get too much sun, and you were starting to burn up.
Bury that moment in the fucking dirt where it belongs.
âDick.â
It's quiet, you almost donât hear it over the sound of cars passing and people chattering, but you hear it.
âBe nice, Koo.â
It sort of just comes out, naturally, as if itâs second nature to you. It used to be, what feels like a fucking lifetime ago, although it wasnât that long ago. But you know you fucked up, can tell by his wide eyed stare, the way his cheeks tinge ever so slightly pink, the way his Adams apple bobs.
It's like a dog hearing their owner call their name after being away for too long. He both loves and hates the way his stomach forms into knots. Needs to fucking leave before he does something stupid like grabbing you and kissing you stupid in front of all these people.
He shifts slightly, having to adjust himself before the evidence in his pants shows how fucking desperate he still is for you. Feels pathetic for it, honestly, you didnât even do anything sexual and his dick is happy.
âYeah yeah, goodnight Y/N, unblock me or Iâll break into your hotel room and do it myself. Oh, and if Seojoon bitches about the smoke, blame me.â
He walks off then, smiling that smile that doesnât reach his eyes, disappearing behind the back exit of the hotel. He fucking rushed off because you flustered him, and you hate yourself for feeling disappointed, but youâre also a little embarrassed. Calling him Koo was inappropriate, you shouldnât have done it. It just happened, and it almost scares you how easy it seems to fall into old habits.
But you also find yourself giggling, because you wouldnât doubt hid ability to break into your room. Can picture it perfectly, him sneaking in, snooping through your phone, and unblocking his number. Heâd probably take a selfie and make it your wallpaper too.
Fuck. You donât want to miss him.
You shiver, feel a bit cold, decide to go inside as well. Almost expect him to be behind the door when you open it, but he isnât there.
He needed to get the hell away from you, so he fucking booked it to the elevator. Already ahead enough that you wonât run into him again tonight.
By the time you get back to the hotel room, you can feel yourself getting way too fucking tired. The wine, mixed with your exhausting day, youâre surprised youâre even alive at this point. And Seojoon is already asleep on one of the beds, right in the fucking middle of it, his face smooshed into a pillow as he sleeps like heâs dead.
He's taking up the entire fucking bed. And maybe it should tell you something, the way youâre comforted knowing you have an excuse to sleep in the other one.
You quickly go about doing your night routine; take off your makeup, change into some nighties, and brush your hair and teeth. Youâll shower in the morning, far too tired to do it now. If Seojoon makes a comment about the smoke, youâll absolutely blame Jungkook.
But you have a feeling you wonât be awake to see Seojoon before he leaves.
Once youâre finally ready for bed, you plug in your phone charge beside the night stand, and flop down on the bed. Youâre so ready to fall asleep, get this day over with and try to salvage the trip by doing something fun tomorrow⌠but you canât fall asleep.
Not until you scratch the itch to unblock Jungkook.
Only for this trip, like he said. After you can block him again, avoid him again. But heâs not wrong, youâve never been here, and if you need something you doubt Seojoon will be of any use⌠itâs for safety, security or whatever.
Of course it is.
So you unblock him. You find his number easily, hit the unblock button, and when you go to set his name in your phone you damn near set it as Koo. Catch yourself. Set it to Jungkook instead.
And right as you hit save, you receive a text.
DĂŠjĂ vu, because you fall asleep with a fucking smile on your face much like you wonât admit you did when he dmed you on Instagram.
You donât get the most restful sleep, never do when in an unfamiliar place, but luckily you donât have any dreams. You were a bit nervous about falling asleep after the heated exchange with Jungkook outside⌠thought youâd have another dream of him wilting. Or worse, a dream about him touching and kissing you like you thought about last night. Fuck, you need to make sure not to drink anymore wine around him.
When you wake up, the room is quiet. You glance at the tableside clock and see itâs already 10am, surprised you slept so long considering you also slept such a long time on the plane. But jet lag is a bitch, you needed the sleep.
And of course, Seojoon is gone. Theres a note on the table that reads âBusy day, text you when Iâm done, got you some tea. <3â
His note already seems much more chipper than he was yesterday, and you feel more at ease with that. Maybe he isnât as much of an asshole as you were starting to think, he just needed some rest⌠although you definitely need to have a conversation about how pushy he is, you can save that for after the trip. Donât want to ruin it anymore.
Stretching as you lean up out of the bed, you grab your phone. And fucking of course he already texted you.
You arenât smiling. Have no reason to be, not at him. Absolutely not.
You are.
You donât text him back right away, instead you torture yourself. Sit on it a bit. Slowly sip on the lukewarm tea in the shitty plastic cup Seojoon made you this morning, courtesy of the complimentary tea and coffee station across the room. You still hesitate on doing anything with Jungkook, especially after last night. Because yes, you can blame the wine, but thereâs no wine in your system right now, and you still feel a fluttering sensation in your stomach when you think about it. So you know its fucking dangerous, like walking in a field full of land mines. One wrong move and youâre both fucked.
You take a quick shower, hoping the warm water will wake you up some more, give you some clarity, but it doesnât do much⌠although, the more you think about it, the more spending the day with Jungkook doesnât seem so bad. Otherwise youâd be alone, have no idea what to do or where to go, and Jungkook knows the area. Youâd be safe with him, and although you acted like it before, you donât hate him⌠despite the heat and tension last night, it was actually fun spending time with him again.
As friends. Just while youâre in New York⌠youâll go.
After hopping out of the shower and wrapping yourself in a towel, you text him back.
God, heâs so excited he can barely contain himself, you can practically see him fidgeting through the damn screen, eager to get out of his expo and be with you instead.
You shake your head to yourself, donât fight the smile this time. Maybe you can be friends. Maybe it isnât impossible like you kept telling yourself. Fuck, youâre even a little excited, foolishly feel like a weight is lifted off of your shoulders now that you can be in public, without hiding, as friends.
It wonât be complicated this time, you promise yourself that.
You promise.
You finish off your tea and begin getting ready. You let your hair air dry as you throw on some makeup, nothing too heavy, just enough to cover the subtle dark circles and make yourself feel a little prettier. Which is funny, yesterday you wore more makeup than you are right now, yet ypu felt so unsure of yourself. The simple face that youâll be with Jungkook makes you feel more secure; you could have dirt smeared all over your face and heâd still think youâre pretty.
Not that it matters. It totally doesnât. Just a comforting thought.
After your makeup, you sift through your clothes. You didnât bring a lot considering youâre only here for a few days, and decide to wear one of the dresses you brought. It isnât as fancy as the one you wore last night, more breathable, cozy and comfy. Sage in color with a milkmaid style top, so itâs cute and comfy. Since it might be cooler, you pair it with some sheer stockings. Your purse will be enough to hold things, and of course you already know what jacket youâre bringing. The same one youâve been wearing for over six months now.
After getting dressed and fussing over your hair, youâre ready. Check your purse and make sure you have everything; wallet, keycard, lip stain, pepper spray⌠polaroid camera gifted by an iris... girly things.
You try not to check the time too eagerly, but when you do finally check it, itâs 11:45. Time flew by faster than expected, but youâre not mad at it. Youâre glad, because youâre excited as fuck to explore New York⌠has nothing to do with the fact youâre spending the day with your former favorite person.
You make your way down to the lobby shortly after, fully expecting to have to wait half an hour for Jungkook to get there, which you didnât mind. The lobby has a seating area, and a large tv that plays movies 24/7, so you wouldnât have minded waiting in there while googling things to do in New York, what museums they might have.
Except when you get down to the lobby, heâs already there. He hadnât expect you to be early, which is why he left the expo early. He saw what he needed to see, spoke to who he needed to speak to, exchanged information with people who were interested in his work or future collaborations. Saw no issue with leaving early, and quite frankly as soon as you agreed to come, he was doing just as you said he would; fidgeting and unable to sit fucking still because he wanted to get to you.
He looks at you as you walk up, immediately notices the familiar jacket you're carrying... loves that you still wear his shit. But his train of thought is cut off because he can already tell youâre gonna make some comment about him being clingy, so he cuts you off.
âGuess weâre both early.â
He gets out of the chair he was sitting in and hands you the treats he brought; a frappe from a local coffee house, paired with a cinnamon roll the size of your head. Not the healthiest, but who fucking cares? If anything, after Seojoonâs stupid fucking demand for you to eat a salad last night, he wants to spoil you with junk food today. Heâll get you lunch before you can get a sugar crash anyway.
âFor you, this coffee house is my fav here. Makes the best frappes.â
You nod and take the treats, take a sip of the frappe and nearly moan at how good it is. Perfectly sweet, almost like a milkshake. You can only imagine how good the cinnamon roll is, itâs still the slightest bit warm inside itâs paper wrapper.
âThanks.â
âYou ready? Picked out a museum to go to, think youâll like it. Has a bunch of artsy shit.â
âSounds fun, lets go.â
He nods at you, and fights the urge to grab your hand, instead walking in front of you so you can follow. Meanwhile, youâre thankful for the distraction of the pastry and drink in your hand, otherwise you may have been the one to grab his.
He hails a taxi easily, would have driven but Sena took the rental car they got⌠and he could have gotten another, but figured youâd enjoy the experience of a New York taxi. Heâs right of course, always is with you. Knows what you like and donât like. Knows youâd fucking hate the subway, but might get a bit giddy at being in a taxi.
He spouts off an address at the taxi driver, who nods and politely asks you to put on your seatbelt. You take this time to munch on your cinnamon roll, careful not to get any crumbs on the car seats. It goes perfectly with the frappe, the flavors are warm and sweet when mixed together.
Familiar. Reminds you of something.
âSâgood?â
Jungkook asks, has been watching you this entire time like a creep. Likes watching you eat, feels full when he does. Feels proud knowing he did a good job at picking something yummy for you to munch on.
âVery,â
You mumble and wipe some of the glaze from the corner of your mouth, your eyes find him as you do so. âWant a bite?â
Jungkook had already gotten himself an Americano and donut at the coffee house, so he isnât particularly hungry, but⌠if he takes a bite, that would mean his mouth indirectly touches yours. Like a kiss. You donât have to know thatâs what heâs thinking, maybe itâs creepy in the same way he was watching you fucking eat, but you donât have to know. Just a silly little thought.
âSure.â
He opens his mouth, beckoning you to feed him. You werenât planning on it, you were going to tear him off a piece, maybe offer him half of it, but not fucking feed him. Yet here he is, his mouth open like a baby fucking bird. You roll your eyes at him, but he doesnât close his mouth. Just looks at you expectantly.
So you reluctantly bring the cinnamon roll to his mouth, and he takes a bite off of the piece you had bitten off of, despite the fact you aimed an untouched part at his mouth. You scoff at him and pull away,
âNow Iâm gonna get your cooties.â
âYou already have my cooties.â
You donât need the fucking reminder.
âFriends donât talk like that,â
You argue with him, taking a big bite of the cinnamon roll to busy your mouth and your wandering mind. Because yeah, you do in fact have his fucking cooties, all over you. And how you got them makes the inside of the taxi heat up a bit. Fuck him for bringing that up.
âYes they do, Iâve kissed my friends before. Kissed Namjoonâs cheek once.â
You roll your eyes and look out the window, but find yourself smiling at the thought of Jungkook kissing his friends cheek. Find it funny how heâs trying to make it seem like his relationship with the boys is the same as you two. Almost wanna fight back and ask him if he fucked them too, just to see him sputter over his words, or maybe get that needy look in his eyes.
But you donât. That would be crossing the line. Youâve already dangerously teetered those lines, you donât need to get any closer to blurring them. Because once a line is drawn in dirt, it is so fucking easy to just step over it and make it disappear.
âWhatever.â
You say after swallowing your bite, washing it down with a sip of your frappe. The rest of the ride is peaceful, a bit quiet. Jungkook doesnât want to overload you by talking too much, trying to keep his promise to himself and you to chill the fuck out. Knows youâll enjoy the scenery of the city anyway, especially during daytime. Itâs also gorgeous at night, which he plans on showing you later on. To some, New York may be ugly, but he knows youâll find the beauty in it. He occasionally pipes in of course, pointing out different stores and restaurants he knows little facts about or thinks youâll like, but he doesnât push it beyond that.
He's right of course, watching the tall buildings pass as you make your way through lunch traffic is pretty cool. Watching the people walking, thereâs so many different faces here, itâs easy to get caught up in watching everything pass by. Itâs like watching life unfold, and you wonder what some of these people are like. You see some business men, you wonder if theyâre married and happy, or alone and living paycheck to paycheck. You see a mom with her daughter, and you wonder where the dad is, if heâs present at all. You also see an old couple, and you know theyâre happy, at peace, can tell by the way they look at each other.
Wonder if all of these people were flowers, what kind would they be? Or would they be something else entirely, are you and Jungkook the only ones in this fucked up metaphor between human and plant?
Before you know it, the taxi halts. You were so caught up in people watching, you didnât realize the time pass by. In reality, the museum wasnât too far from the hotel, only a couple of blocks away. But still, you werenât really paying attention.
Jungkook pays the taxi driver with cash and hops out of the car, holds his hand out to take your cinnamon roll wrapper as you follow him. You hand it to him, and heâs pleased to see itâs mostly empty, other than a small piece at the bottom.
When you get out, you stretch a bit, and finish off your frappe. Follow him to a nearby trash bin to throw it away, and then look up to see which museum he picked, assuming itâs an art museum of some sort.
And holy fuck, you freeze. Because yes, it is technically an art museum, but what the fuck was he thinking?
âJungkook what the fuck?â
âHuh?â
He asks, blissfully unaware of your sudden mood change at first, dusting his hands off on his jeans before looking at you. Almost flinches when he sees the offended look on your face.
âYou fucking with me?â
You ask, because you canât seem to grasp why he thought this was a good idea. Start to wonder if he had an ulterior motive in taking you here, or if heâs just a fucking dumb ass.
He looks up then, genuinely confused by your reaction. Truthfully, Jungkook didnât do any research on museums here. Sure, he knows of a few, but he also knows Yoongi has been to New York a lot. Yoongi comes here for work and pleasure, has been to every museum there is, probably every restaurant too, so he asked him for recommendations.
Blindly fucking trusted him when all he gave was an address and a text that said âyouâll both love it.â
Jungkook feels his cheeks heat up when he reads the sign, reaches up to fidget with his lip ring. Tugs on it a bit, because he fucking knows this looks bad on him. Wants to throttle Yoongi, fucking will when he gets back home.
âY/N I swear to god I didnât know, I asked Yoongi for recommendations and he told me to come here, I didnât know itâd be⌠this.â
Your first instinct is to accuse him of lying, but you stop yourself when you see him worrying at his lip ring. Heâs nervous, and fuck it makes you feel guilty. You shouldnât feel guilty, heâs the one who promised you a fun day and dragged you to the most sinful museum maybe fucking ever. Youâre adults, sure, but you have history, and things are supposed to be platonicâŚ
But he isnât lying and you donât want him to be nervous.
âWell you should have checked or something.â
You mutter weakly, reaching for his hand and pulling it away from his lip ring. Touching him. Making him turn stupid for a second.
âSorry. Letâs go somewhere else, Iâll look real quickââ
âNo, lets just⌠try it. Weâre adults, maybe itâs fun.â
You try to sound enthusiastic, but youâre nervous too. You can be mature about it, but itâs the premise of it; here with a man who haunts your dreams, sometimes makes them wet... itâs dangerous. Fuck, itâs all so dangerous with him.
Or maybe youâre just a fucking masochist.
He eyes you wearily, doesnât want you to be uncomfortable, but also⌠he is a bit intrigued, he canât lie.
âIâm sure, shut up, lets go.â
You grab his hand, preventing him from asking anymore questions. Youâre adults, you repeat to yourself. You can be mature about this, and youâre sure friend groups come here all the time. Couples too⌠ok, probably mainly couples, but still. It could be fun.
You begin dragging him inside, and suddenly he doesnât fucking care where you are, where youâre taking him, whether or not itâll be awkward. Because youâre holding his hand. Touching him. Heâll do whatever you want. Even if it means going into the Museum of Sex with his ex lover.
Kook rubs Anyaâs shoulders, trying his best to reassure her that he can handle this. Haein was nothing compared to what heâs used to. He can handle this and make sure Anya doesnât feel guilty either. âItâs okay Anya, itâs clear that sheâs just jealous.â He looks at Haein with a small smile on his face. Heâs wants to yell at her and tell her how wrong she is and how much he loves Anya. The old him wouldâve probably ghosted Anya after they slept together, but thatâs the thing he wasnât the old Kook and he doesnât think heâll ever be. Anya changed him she really did and he wanted to not only prove to himself that heâs not the same but he also wanted to prove it to Anya too. âYouâre upset that someone other than you can take care of Anya and itâs okay I get it, trust me.â He casually pours himself a glass of water. He wanted to act nonchalant, like her words didnât affect him, then he realized he doesnât need to act because her words didnt affect him. Not one bit. He knew his true feelings and so did Anya. Fuck what anyone else has to say. âYou know I was in the same position as you. I felt like Anya should only be with me and no one else. Because I thought nobody was good enough for her but me.â He sips his water, sighing at the cold sensation. âBut thatâs when I thought to myself. If I continue to act that way I could lose Anya and thatâs never happening. Anya cares about you a lot and I care about her a lot. So by default you and I will be seeing each other more often than you think.â He walks back over to Anya. âHate me if you want I really donât care because like you said, you donât know me and I donât know you. But I do know that we both care about Anya so why not put your insecures aside and think about Anyaâs happiness for once. Sheâs been really excited with us meeting and youâre ruining for her.â He takes a long sip of water, his gaze locked on Haeins. He could see the annoyance in her expression and he really tried his hardest not to laugh.
Anya and Haein were speechless, but especially Anya. When the hell did he get thisâŚ..intelligent? Also why did she get turned on by him standing up for himself and herâŚ.not the time Anya. She looks at Haein and she recognizes that look on her face. Thatâs the âIâll beat his assâ face. What could Anya possibly say or do to fix whatâs going on right now? This was a complete disaster they arenât getting along at all-
Haein laughs. She straight up just laughs like she heard the funniest joke in the world. Anya doesnât know if she should be worried or happy?
âI like him.â Haein says still slightly chuckling.
âYou like himâŚ.?â Did Anya hear that right? Does Haein actually like Kook? Is she being sarcastic? Anya couldnât tellâŚ
âHeâs petty, and so am I.â She takes another bite of her food.
âIâm not petty Iâm just truthful, right babe?â
âI-..â What the hell is going on? Kook and Haein willâŚâŚget along? Just like that? Is this a fever dream or something? Anya looks between Kook and Haein and that tension she felt earlier was suddenly gone. Maybe she overreacted about them. She nods and smiles, starting up a conversation for both of them to participate in. This is everything she wanted.
~~~~~~~~~~
After what felt like hours of listening to Kook and Haein bicker about whatâs Anyaâs favorite food, eventually Haein gives up and heads home for the rest of the night. âI knew sheâd like meâ Kook says with a grin. âI just have thatâŚ..charming personality.â
Anya smiles, sitting next to him on the couch. âYou do. Sheâs a tough one to crack butâŚIâm happy you two could get along.â
âYeah. Even though I didnât want to spend tonight doing this, Iâm happy if youâre happy.â His eyes sparkling with want. Anya knew what he meant by that and now that theyâre alone maybe she could ask the question thatâs been bugging her for weeks now.
âCould I ask you something?â
He adjusted his position on the couch to turn towards her, giving her his full and undivided attention. âYeah.â
She takes a deep breath, steeling herself to finally say what she's been holding back for so long. A little part of her is scared that he might fully reject her, but then again. It looks like he wants her to. Even earlier today in the hallway at the university, she could feel the way he touched her, and kissed her. The desperation in his eyes and the disappointment when he found out that Haein was coming. He definitely wanted this, but why is it taking them so long to get there. Sheâs practically begging at this point. âI umâŚ.I donât want to sound weird orâŚ.desperate but umâŚâ she turns her gaze away from him, not able to look at him in the eyes when she says this. âWhy havenât weâŚ..you knowâŚ..s-slept together?â This was so embarrassing for her, but she needed to know why. âItâs justâŚ.sometimes we get really close to doing itâŚ..but you stop, why? Do you think IâmâŚinexperienced? Or are you not ready? Or am I ugly-â
âAnya.â He cuts her off, putting a hand over hers. âI want to. You donât understand how much I do.â
âThen why havenât we?â She says, her voice whining slightly. âI donât understand. If you wanted this too why wait?â
âBecauseâŚ.â He sighs. âYouâre not someone temporary in my life. ThisâŚ..usâŚ.its the most important thing in my life and I donât want to ruin it because Iâm horny.â He moves closer. âI want our first time to be memorable. You know Iâm used to a differentâŚ.routine when it comes to that and Iâm not doing that anymore. I want to make you feel amazing Anya. I just didnât think you were ready for that. And if Iâm being honest.â He pressed his body against hers, pull her into his lap. âItâs getting hardâŚ..really hard.â He looks up at her with hooded eyes, his breath catching slightly as he takes in her appearance on top of him. He licks his lips unconsciously, his gaze drifting to her lips before meeting her eyes again.
Anya gasps slightly at the stiffness she felt underneath her. Was heâŚâŚ.?
âLook what you do to meâŚ.feel what you do to meâŚâ Kook adjusts her in his lap so she can feel his length against her thigh. He couldnât control himself anymore, he was so close to just giving in right here, right now. âIâll only do this if you want to. We can waitâŚ..or not.â
Anya shakes her head. Thereâs no way sheâs going to pass up this chance to finally have him. âNo IâŚ..I want to. Just nervous a littleâŚ.â She says looking down slightly, embarrassment washing over her. Itâs not that she hasnât had sex before, because she has obviously but sheâs never done it with someone she loves. The emotions and desire were so overwhelming and this would be different. Regardless she was ready.
âHaveâŚ.Have you ever done this before?â Kook asks cautiously.
âYeah. It was a while ago though, but IâŚ.I want thisâŚ..I need this.â She places her hands on his chest to ground herself. Her heart was pounding and her body thrumming with excitement.
He runs his hands down her thighs, his touch gentle and soft. âMe too.â He leans forward, his lips brushing against her neck, kissing at the sensitive skin underneath her ear. He runs his hands up her sides, his touch sending tingles of pleasure through her body. âI want to take my timeâŚ..I want to explore every inch of you.â He whispers, his voice a low laced with hunger and desperation. Kookâs heart was pounding in his chest as he continue to touch her. He can feel himself getting more and more arousal by the second. He pulls away from her neck, cupping her cheek in his hand, his touch gentle and loving, he looks at her with a mixture of desire and tenderness. âDo you trust me?â
Anya nods immediately, not second guessing his answer.
Kook lets out a low moan as soon as she nods, pulling her into his arms and capturing her lips in a searing kiss. He's gentle, but the pent up desire in him is evident. He slowly lays her down on the couch, covering her body with his own as he kisses her deeply. His hands tremble as he reaches for her shirt. âCan IâŚ.take this off?â He asked, his voice low, heated whisper.
âY-Yes.â
He looks into her eyes as he gently pulls it over her head and tossing it aside. Kook's touch is gentle and unhurried, as if he's worshipping her body for the first time, well it is the first time and he plans to take his precious time making sure she feels good. He runs his fingers along her skin, mapping out every curve and line, before leaning down to press soft kisses to her neck, collarbone, and chest. âYou're so beautiful.â He continues to kiss and explore her body, his hands roaming over her skin as he takes in every detail. When he reaches her pants, he gently kisses the button before unfastening it and slipping his hand inside to caress her thigh. âCan I...can I take care of you first? Please?â He almost begs, he looks at her as he watches her eyes half lidded. Her mouth slightly open, panting slightly. She needs this and Kook wanted to make sure she was ready for him first.
Anyaâs cheeks flush with embarrassment and desire as Kook asks so sweetly. She nods, unable to speak as he gently pulls her pants and underwear down her legs. Kook's eyes widen as he takes in the sight of her, his heart pounding with love and desire. âFuck..â Kook leans down, pressing a soft kiss to her inner thigh before trailing kisses up to where she needs him most. He's gentle at first, his touch light as a feather, but he quickly learns what she likes, increasing the pressure and pace as her moans fill the room. He looks up at her, his eyes heavy lidded as he takes in her disheveled state. "Does that feel good?" he asks, his voice thick with desire as he watches her chest heave with labored breaths.
Anya could barely speak, her mind cloudy with pleasure and need. She doesnât remember the last time sheâs ever felt this good. Itâs like heâs taking her virginity and sheâs experiencing this for the first time. âMhm.â
He smiles, lowering his head once more and continuing his movement. He uses his hands, his mouth, his fingers, anything and everything to drive her to the brink of madness. He wants her to beg, to scream his name. Kook could get lost doing this, this is felt good to him just as it felt good to her. She tastes sweet and he wanted more, more of her in anyway way possible. He feels her body tense up beneath him, telling him that sheâs close. He doubles his efforts, his tongue swirling and flicking rapidly as he holds her tight, refusing to let her escape the pleasure.
Anya hands clutch at the couch pillow, her back arching off the couch as she finally reach her peak. She call out his name, her voice hoarse from the force of her release. He continues to lap at her, cleaning her up as she comes down from her high. Kook crawls up her body, his eyes dark with barely restrained lust as he hover over her. âThat was incredible, Anya. Watching you come undone like thatâŚ..it was hotâŚ..so hot.â He grinds his hips against hers, letting her feel the hard evidence of his desire through his pants. "I need you, now." He growls, his voice barely recognizable. "Please Anya tell me it's okay."
She looks up at him, her heart racing and her body still trembling from her orgasm. She nods, too overwhelmed to speak again, and Kook lets out a relieved sigh before reaching into his wallet. He pulls out a condom and quickly tears it open. He removes his pants then underwear, his eyes never leaving hers. He reaches down rolling the condom onto his length. Kook positions himself between her legs, his hands shaking as he gently pushes her knees apart. He leans down, pressing a soft kiss to her lips before slowly pushing his length inside her. They both let out a moan at the instant contact. Everything was quiet except their heavy breathing and quiet moans. He starts to move, his thrusts slow and deep at first, allowing them both to adjust. He peppers her face and neck with kisses as he makes love to her, whispering sweet words of affection and praise. "You feel amazing, babe. I've wanted this for so long..."
His pace quickens, his breath hitching each time he pushes into her. He's careful, gentle, always checking in to make sure sheâs okay. Anya encourage him, wrapping her legs around his waist and pulling him closer. He buries his face in the crook of her neck, muffling his moans against her skin as he feels his release approaching. He reaches between their bodies, his fingers finding her sensitive bud and rubbing in tight circles. "...I'm getting close. Are you...?â She nods eagerly, her own breathing growing more rapid as he works her into a frenzy. "Come with me, Anya" he pants, his voice strained with effort. "I want us to come together." At his words, she feels her own orgasm building, his fingers and the feeling of his length inside her pushing her over the edge. Anya cries out, her body shaking as she comes hard around him, and he follows soon after, his hips jerking as he fills the condom with his release. He collapses on top of her, his body heavy and warm as he nuzzles her neck. He rolls off to the side, taking care of the condom before pulling her into his arms and wrapping a nearby blanket around them both. "I love you." He mumbles, his voice slowly returning to normal.
Anya looks down at him, her heart filling with joy and love. Hearing those three words she always said to him in her head. Her eyes softening as she holds onto to him, never wanting to let go. âI-I love you too.â She says trying to hold back tears of joy.
âSay it again.â He lifts his head up, his eyes on her. âTell me again..â
âI love you, Jungkook.â
He looks into her eyes looking for any signs that she might not mean what sheâs saying, but he doesnât find what heâs looking for. He felt like he was on cloud nine. Emotions running through them. Happiness, love, admiration, pride. He felt all of itâŚâŚall of her. Heâs never been in love before and no one has been in love with himâŚ.not like this. He hugs her tightly as if he doesnât want her to go, as if sheâll change her mind. The amount of joy heâs feeling right now was overwhelming. He doesnât want this moment to end, never. âGod youâre justâŚ..youâre amazing. That was way better than I thought.â
âIt was incredible, you were incredible.â He was more than incredible, he was magnificent. Everything was perfect, he didnât rush her. He made sure she was comfortable and he made her feel so good as if he knew her body more than she did. She keeps replaying the moment in her head over and over again on a loop.
He looks at the smile on her face. âI wasnât too rough was I?â He sits up finally being able to breathe normally again.
âNo you werenât it was perfect Jungkook.â
He smiles softly. "It was perfect. You're perfect." He kisses her tenderly, pouring all his love and affection into the gesture. After a moment, he pulls back, a mischievous glint in his eye. "So..." Anya raises an eyebrow, a small smile on her lips. "So...?" She says, enjoying the playful look on his face. He chuckles, his arms tightening around her. "Ready for round two?" He grins, his hands already starting to explore her curves again. She laughs, a light blush coloring her cheeks at his eagerness. "Eager much?" She tease, but she can already feel the heat building between her legs again. He nips at her neck playfully. "I'll never get enough of you. Iâm addicted already.â He smiles. âBut your bed might be more comfortable donât you think?â Anya nods as she stands up, holding the blanket thatâs covering her body tightly, she reaches out for his hand to guide him to her room, but before she could take a step in that direction he lifts her in his arms and carries her. She wraps her arms around his neck for support as he pushes through the door, kicking it close with his foot. He gentle lays her down on the bed, removing the blanket around her. âThis is in my way.â His eyes were different this time, more hungry and eager. She could tell he wasnât going to hold back and she was ready for him to take control and make her go crazy.
âI want to be gentle with youâŚâ he says his fingers trailing down her body. âIâm not a gentle guyâŚ..â he cups her breasts, squeezing with as he looks at her reaction. âCan you handle me? Can you handle what I want to doâŚâŚ.and how I do it?â
Anya eyes couldnât look away from him. He was touching her in all the right places, but she wanted more. She wanted to test her limits and his. âDo it.â
Kook smirks down at her grabbing her wrists and pin them above her head, his grip firm but not painful. He leans down, his face inches from hers, his breath hot against her lips. "I'm going to fuck you. I canât hold back anymore.â Her eyes widen slightly, a mix of anticipation and a little bit of nervousness flickering across her face. She bites her lower lip, nodding consent. Kook grin wickedly, his hands tightening on her wrists. "Good.â
~~~~~~~~~~
âAre you fucking stupid? How did he not die?!â Kook yells at his monitor probably scaring the rest of his viewers along with his neighbors. Anya was lying in his bed catching up on school work. She would occasionally look over at him and smile to herself as she watches his eyes fixate on the computer screen. Itâs funny how things work out in life. She went from being a fan of him to being his actual real life girlfriend. Things like this never happened to Anya. Stuff like this happens in books she reads or shows she watches, but no matter how much she tries to deny it, this is real. Heâs real. And she couldnât be any more happier. She looks at him and admires his features and canât wrap her head around how someone like him could love someone like her. Then again being with him makes her feel less insecure more than ever, sheâs not the same shy girl she used to be before she started watching him. She was now a confident, mature, and loved person. All because of KookâŚâŚ.her Kook. Anya wonders how far this relationship will lead but instead of overthinking this like sheâd normally would, sheâd just enjoy these moments with him and look forward to the future.
Kook walks into his first class completely unfocused. He fidgets in his seat, biting his nails as he thinks about the upcoming night ahead of him. All he could think about was finally, finally having Anya the way he wanted. It was driving him insane, he felt so eager and excited at the thought of being with her again. He was so desperate for her and he really didnât care. He doesnât understand how could one person have this effect on him. Then again heâs never been in love before so that could be why. That night when they first met face to face he felt the magnetic pull between them immediately, but when they kissed it was a completely different emotion. He felt a surge of electricity and warmth as he felt her lips on his. That night he didnât even sleep, just stared at the ceiling, replaying the kiss in his head on a loop. Obviously he wanted to sleep with her to satisfy his own needs, but thatâs when he slowly realized that itâs not just about his needs and desires, itâs about hers too. Thatâs the whole point of having sex in the first place. He promised to himself that heâd wait at least until she was ready or if it was the right time. But seeing the look in her eyes, the way she pulled him closer, when she moaned softly against his lipsâŚâŚ.thatâs when he realized she was just as needy as he was. He closes his eyes trying hard to not get a hard on in the middle of classâŚâŚagain. To be far he couldnât help it. He was a sex addict before he met Anya, this is the longest heâs been without it. He shakes his head fighting back those thoughts. âBe patient.â He says in his head, needing to reassure himself. Yeah this was going to be a long fucking dayâŚâŚ
~~~~~~~~~
Anya stares at Haein, feeling a wave of emotions, angry, sadness, guilt, and longing. She missed her, but she also knows that Haein is still upset with her about everything. Then again shouldnât Anya be upset with her too? The harsh words Haein threw at her still replays in her mind from time to time. They both deserve an apology from each other and Anya decided that she would be the first one to say something. She didnât know what or how Haein would react but at least sheâs trying.
âHaein..â Anya says, thinking of something to say thatâs not too passive aggressive. She wanted to remain calm and not let her emotions get in the way.
Haein leaned against the wall, arms crossed, her gaze felt heavy and judgmental. Suddenly Anya felt insecure and embarrassed. She knew this wasnât going to end well.
âI umâŚ.â Anya muttered. âIâm sorry Haein, for everything.â She didnât even know what she was apologizing for, but it felt like the right thing to do at the moment.
Haein was quiet for a moment before replying.
âYouâre happy.â She states, not questioning Anya. Haein knew her better than anyone, she knew when she was happy, sad, angry, everything. Itâs not a surprise that Haein knew how happy she is, which makes Anya feel guilty in a way. What if this entire time Haein has been watching Anya be happy with Kook, and who knows sheâs probably even more pissed at the situation or even jealousâŚ.
Anya nods. âI am. HeâsâŚ.amazing.â Anya didnât want to deny her feelings for Kook because she truly did like him, also she didnât want to rub her happiness in Haeins face, but she wanted her to know that sheâs actually happy.
Haein studies her expression for a while, all she sees is happiness and love in Anyaâs eyes. Haein doesnât think sheâs ever seen Anya this happy before. âIâve seen you twoâŚ.together. Around campus.â
Anya was taken aback by her words. So she was watching Anya be happy this entire time? That alone makes her feel even more guilty. âIâŚIâm sorry Haein-
âFor what?â
âIâŚâ Anya still didnât know why she was sorry, itâs just her default word at this point. She just felt like apologizing would lighten the pain she thought Haein was going through because of her. âIâm sorry if IâŚ..hurt your feelings..â
Haein nods as she hears the apology. Her eyes slightly glossy. âYeahâŚ.Iâm sorry too. I was justâŚvery emotional that day. I shouldnât have yelled at you. That was shitty of me.â
âThank you.â Finally they both got the closure they needed. Anya feels as if a weight has been lifted off her shoulders. She missed her best friendâŚ.she really did.
âAnd about myâŚ.confession.â Haein says feeling a pang of embarrassment. âItâs true, but uhâŚ.I know weâre better off as friends. I donât want things to beâŚ.awkward anymore.â
âYeah me too.â Anya smiles, feeling grateful that Haein understands that theyâre better off as friends. Just like theyâve always been.
âSoâŚ..I want to met him.â Haein says crossing her arms once again, her confidence coming in. âI know nothing about him. Only that heâs a streamer. I need to meet the guy who my best friend is in love with.â
Anyaâs eyes shoot open. âL-Love?â She looks around the empty room as if someone is listening. âThatâsâŚ..notâŚ.â She avoids Haeins gaze, feeling embarrassed at her assumption. Then againâŚ..Haein always seems to know Anya from the back of her hand. Thereâs no point in lying about it, and Anya has been dying to vent about her and Kook for a while now. She sighs finally admitting to it. âYeahâŚ.youâre right. I love him.â
Haein nods. âI can tell. He looks like he treats you right.â
âHe does.â Anya smiles remembering all the things heâs done for her. âHeâs perfect in every way, you know?â
âHe better be. If he hurts you Iâll kick his ass.â
Anya laughs. She knew Haein wasnât joking about that. Also the thought of her best friend and her boyfriend being friends makes her heart warm. The two most important people in her life are finally meeting and she couldnât be happier.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kook practically runs out of his first class to find Anya. His thoughts full of nothing but her and what theyâre going to do tonight. The second he spots her he wraps his arms around from behind, placing small kisses on her neck. âI missed you.â He murmured in between kisses, pulling her closer, his fingers tracing over her hip.
Anya smiles leaning into his touch. âI missed you too.â She turns around to face him. âIâve got good news.â
Kookâs eyebrows raised slightly, his mouth curling up into a mischievous grin. His mind already wondering with thoughts of tonight.
âI know you canât speak out loud because you donât want anyone to hear your voice, so Iâll just tell you.â
Kook nods and listens intently.
âMe and Haein made upâŚ.sort of. Her and I talked about everything and we both apologized to each otherâŚ..I got my best friend back.â She smiles. âIâm just really happy, you know? Oh yeah she wants me to meet you too! She can be a bitâŚ..intense but I would love for you two to meet.â
Kook smiles, his heart pounding with love and affection as he sees her expression. To be honest Kook was always interested in meeting someone thatâs close to Anya other than her brother. He wanted to hear silly stories about Anya as she grew up or even make fun of baby pictures of her. He just wanted to feel close to her as he could. Anya already met all of his close friends and now it was his turn, but then again the circumstances were different. Haein was interested in Anya romantically and Kook wanted to make sure that Haein knew that Anya was his, not hers. Maybe itâs the possessive nature coming out of him but he can help but feel on edge with someone liking Anya romantically other than him. Regardless he nods in response agreeing to meet Haein for the first time.
âGreat!â Anya takes his hand in hers heading towards their next class. âCome over after your shift tonight and you two can meet.â
He stops walking. Tonight? No tonight they already had plans. Plans that heâs been wanting to do for days now. He didnât want to wait any longer. He pulls her aside, so he can speak freely with her. âTonight? Like tonight, tonight?â
âYeah why?â
âBecause-â he sighs. âBecause we already made plans remember? You were supposed to stay the nightâŚ..and you knowâŚ.you and I..â he trails off, his eyes pleading for her to change her mind.
Anya looks at his pouting expression, she can see the desperation in his eyes. She knew what he wanted and she wanted it too, maybe more than he did. But this is the first time in a long time she felt like everything in her life was going so well. Haein was back and her and Kook were getting serious, she wanted everything to right. Anya smiles softly as she takes his hand. âI know, but Haein and I are slowly getting back to normal. And I want you to meet her I really do.â
He leans in closer, his voice a whisper. âAnya do you realize how hard itâs been for me?â His eyes sparkling with desire and desperation. âDo you know what you do to me?â He pauses, taking a deep breath trying to control his emotions. âOkayâŚ..okay Iâll come over to meet her.â
âReally?â Her eyes lit up with hope.
âReallyâŚ.Anything for you.â And he meant that. Heâd do pretty much anything to put a smile on her face and if that means delaying his dick another few days then heâd have to suck it up. He leans in, kissing her cheek. âCome on letâsâŚ.learn something in this class. Donât distract me this time.â
~~~~~~~~~~
Kook was at work stocking PC headphones when suddenly he begins to space out. He didnât know how tonight would end up and honestly he just wanted to get it over with. He keeps telling himself that heâs being too clingy towards Anya but he canât help it. When you spend almost every day with someone of course youâd miss them. Since Haein and Anya are friends again heâs worried that she might start handing out with her than him. From what Anya said they used to be glued to the hip for years, and he understands that she needs someone else in her life other than him. He just wants to be the only person who makes her smile and laugh. But again he understands they have a long relationship with each other just like he does with him and his friends. Now that he thinks about it Anya has never complained about his friends. Even when Jimin sometimes flirts with her, she never gets upset or anything. Which is the opposite of Kook. Maybe he should take a page out of her book tonight. He trusts her and she trust him. Itâs time to put his own insecurities aside and focus on whatâs in front of him instead. Even though itâs going to be hard for his dick to get the message as well. He canât help his erection and thatâs the biggest problem. Anya told him to come by when he gets off so he has approximately two hours to calm down him desires immediately.
~~~~~~~~
âHe should be here any minute.â Anya says pacing across the living room, her phone clutched in her hand. She was fine earlier, in fact she was excited but now her nerves got the best of her. What if he doesnât like Haein? What if she doesnât like him? Worst of all what if one of them makes her choose between the other? Maybe sheâs overthinking but she knows how bluntly honest Haein is and Kook is pretty protective over her so what else is she supposed to think?
âCan you stop pacing? Itâs making me dizzy.â Haein says scanning through her fridge for food seeming really calm at the moment.
Anya stops pacing. âOkay, okayâŚ..Iâm just nervous. I want everything to go wellâŚâ
Haein grabs a box from the fridge assuming itâs something she can eat. âAs long as he isnât an asshole weâre good.â She heats up the food. âYou know Iâm not going to hold anything back once I see him, right?â
âYeahâŚ.I know. Trust meâŚâ
With that Anya hears a knock on her door. Itâs himâŚ.its time. She quickly glances at Haein and makes her way to the door, her heart pounding in her chest. She unlocks and opens the door to see Kook looking just as perfect as ever. âHi.â She smiles at him. He steps in hugging her tightly. âI missed you.â
Haein watches their interaction, mostly looking at Kook. Her eyes ranking over his movements, looking for any sign of deception.
Anya takes his hand and leads him to Haein. She watches Haein look at him up and down most likely judging him already. Haein takes a bite of her food, eyes glued to Kook.
âHaein this is Jungkook my boyfriend. Babe this is Haein my best friend.â
Kook puts a hand out. âNice to meet you.â
Haein takes another bite of her food, ignoring his hand shake. Thatâs makes Anya nervousâŚ..really nervous.
âHaeinâŚâ Anya says, feeling the tension in the room. âDonât be rudeâŚâ
That made Haein chuckle. âRude?â She smiles setting her food down, while looking at Kook intensely. She noticed Kookâs expression remained the same. He wasnât threatened by her at all. He stood his ground, his head held high and his arm around Anya. Mmm interestingâŚ
âSo JungkookâŚâ Haein trails off. âYou sure youâre not just with Anya for your benefit only?â
Kook raises his eyebrows. âWhat?â
âAnya is innocent and pure. Isnât that the perfect target for guys like you? So sheâs easier to manipulate and control.â Haein takes another bite of her food, seemingly oddly relaxed by the assumption she made.
Kook felt immediately disrespected by Haeins words. He would never EVER manipulate or control Anya. Yeah heâs a little obsessed with her but not to that extent. He didnât like how she judged him when heâs hasnât even been here for five minutes. He looks at Anya and sees the slight panic in her eyes. He knew she really wanted this and if Anya wasnât here his attitude wouldâve been a lot different, but he decides to play nice to Haein while Anya is right here. Itâs obvious that Haein is just trying to get under his skin to probably scare him away, luckily for Kook he knew how to handle this situation. He looks at Haein, looking just as calm as she is. âYouâre right.â He states. âAnya is perfect for a guy like me. Not because I want to manipulate her but because sheâs so innocent and pure, she makes me want to be the same way.â He looks at Anya, eyes full of love and tenderness then direct his gaze back to Haein. âSo no I donât plan to manipulate or control her, butâŚ..you seem to know a lot about that, donât you?â Okay maybe he shouldnât have said that last partâŚ..but itâs her fault for assuming the worst out of him.
âIf you have something to say, say it.â Haein states, her voice firm.
âI feel like I should be asking you that.â
Anya was internally panicking. This is was she was afraid of. Haeins blunt attitude and Kooks protective behavior didnât work together at all! Sheâs thinking of a topic to bring up to cut this awkward tension between them. âS-So um-â
âI feel like youâre not good enough for her.â Haein cuts her off, her eyes intense and judgmental. âTo me youâre just some pretty boy who made my best friend cry. You flirt with people you donât know for likes and views. You walk around like you own everything and everyone. And best of all, youâre just waiting until Anya gives you the opportunity to sleep with her. Once you do youâll ghost her or even pretend like you two never happened.â She leans in close. âThatâs what I have to say. Because I donât know you.â
Anya couldnât be happier where she is in her life right now. Kook and her have been glued to the hip since they met face to face a few weeks ago. Kook would even pop up at Anyaâs job a few times a week because heâs âboredâ. She found his clinginess cute, even though heâd say he wasnât but Anya knew he was. During school Kook explained to her why he doesnât talk much, which Anya understood but other than that heâd treat her so well. Although she was really happy with Kook she really missed Haein. They havenât talked since they had that argument and Anya wants to reach out and apologize but she isnât sure she should. Haein is stubborn Anya knows she wonât be the one to apologize first let alone reach out to her. She missed her presence in her life. She wanted someone to gossip with, to do fun sleepovers with, but Haein hasnât reached out. Anya told Kook about Haein and heâs no better. He likes having her all to himself, she found his possessiveness strangely attractive, but maybe one day her and Haein could rekindle their friendshipâŚâŚ.hopefully.
She finally met Jimin for the first time and she feels like she should thank Jimin for all of this. If it werenât for him her and Kook wouldnât have gotten this far. Unfortunately Jimin is a huge flirt and to her surprise Kook is very protective over her. So her and jimin havenât been able to talk much. Anya met his other friends when they walked in on them having an heated make out session in Kooks bedroom.
âDamn Kook youâre suffocating her.â Taehyung says laughing. The other guys laughing in the background. âHey Kook move over when is it my turn.â Jimin teases.
âGet the fuck out now!â Kook snaps at them for interrupting. Looks like they took the hint, due to their laughter retreating away. Kook looks back at Anya feeling frustrated and annoyed. âI hate them.â
Anya laughs finding his frustration cute. âYou love them.â She sits up looking down at him. He wraps his arms around her waist, burying his face in the crook of her neck. He inhales her scent, her smell alone was addicting to him. âWhere are you going?â He mumbles into her neck.
âYour friends are waiting for you Jungkook-
âI donât care.â He protests. âTheyâre just loud and obnoxious I rather stay here with you.â She could feel his lips moving on her neck, leaving little kisses down to her collarbone. His kisses move higher towards her jawline. âI rather be doing this.â His touch became more pronounced as his moves his lips towards hers, kissing her passionately. His lips move over hers hungrily, his tongue slipping into her mouth to slide against hers as the kiss becomes needy and passionate, all restraint and distractions gone as he kisses her with a heated intensity. His hand slides down her back, fingers slipping under the hem of her shirt to caress her skin as he presses himself against her, but before things could get even more intense they heard a loud noise from in the kitchen, followed by laughter. Kook pulls away recognizing the sound. âDamn itâŚâ he mumbles clearly annoyed. âThey broke somethingâŚ.again.â
Anya nods as she sits up fixing her clothes. âYou better go check on them.â She suggests.
âIâll be back okay? Donât even think about moving an inch got it?â He says pointing a finger at her playfully. He was so damn clingy.
âI wonât.â She smiles watching him step out. As soon as she hears the door closes behind him she runs her fingers through her hair feeling frustrated. Sexually frustrated to be exact. Theyâve been pretty much together for a while now and the only thing theyâve done so far was make out and a little dry humping here and there. Every time things would almost escalate into something further heâd stop or theyâd get interrupted. At first she didnât mind, in fact they would laugh about it, but when she had someone that looks like him touching her and kissing herâŚ.she wants more. Maybe sheâs needy but so is he. She wants to sleep with him so bad. Wants to feel him inside of her and satisfy the desire thatâs burning inside of her, but he wonât go any further than kissing. Anya doesnât know if heâs being a gentleman or he just doesnât want to sleep with her. She wants to ask him and see whatâs the problem but she doesnât want to come off as this horny girl whoâs touched starved. Itâs stupid she knows but look at himâŚâŚhe doesnât make it easy for her to remain calm. Especially when he teases her by walking around shirtless and when theyâre making out heâd rub himself against her. Things like that makes Anya feel more aroused than sheâs ever been in her life. She sighs looking up at his ceiling, when she rather much be looking up at him when heâs fucking her so-âŚ. Anya shakes her head. Enough with those thoughts Anya, he could walk in at anytime. She pulls her phone out to distract herself from those thoughts.
âWhat the fuck Jin!?â Kook says picking up pieces of a now broken plate, a vintage plate by the way. A gift from his mother when he first moved in. Sheâs going to fucking raise hell once she finds out this is now broken. âDonât fucking look at me.â Jin protested. âItâs not my fault you put the dishes in the cabinet wrong. Remember you were supposed to lay the plates down now stack them randomly.â Kook rolls his eyes. Gosh when did they become so fucking annoying.
âI know that look.â Jimin says looking at Kook with a hint of amusement on his face.
âWhat are you talking about?â Kook didnât have time for this. Anya was waiting for him and this is the only time they have alone before he has to work tomorrow.
âThatâs the look of someone who hasnât fucked in a while.â Jimin laughs. âI remember that face when he used to call Yuna.â
âWait you and her havenâtâŚ..â Taehyung asks.
âNope they havenât I can tell.â Jimin says with a confident smile.
Kook felt a rush of embarrassment as they came up with this random assumption. He turns around towards his room hoping Anya couldnât hear. âCan you guys justâŚ..lower your voice.â He whispers pushing them further away from the room as possible.
âWell is it true?â Taehyung asks, his eyes widening.
As much as Kook wants to deny itâŚ.they were right. Itâs not that he didnât want to fuck her he did, but this felt different. He wasnât just fucking her to get it out of his system because he was frustrated or angry. This was something more intimate. Real feelings were involved and he didnât want to fuck Anya the way he did with Yuna. He wanted to make love to her. He wanted to share an intimate moment with her. No rushing just them alone in a perfect place with no distractions. He wants to give her pleasure in ways she hasnât before. He wants to whisper sweet nothings in her ear as he brings her closer to the edge. He wants to show her how much heâŚ..loves her, but he thinks itâs probably too soon for that. Theyâve gotten close to doing it plenty of times but Kook didnât want to make her feel uncomfortable. He wasnât even sure if she was ready or not. Unfortunately for him Jimin was right, he was sexually frustrated. He wants to just say fuck it and have sex with her right now but he wants to wait.
âYeah itâs trueâŚ..â he admits. âItâs not the same with Anya. I just want to wait until itâs the perfect time okay? ButâŚâŚitâs fucking hard.â He sits on the couch. âI canât even concentrate half the time. You know the other day I had to end the stream early because I gotâŚ..a hard on while thinking about her.â He sighs. âShe wasnât even here and my body couldnât help but react like that.â
They all listened to Kooks explanation. The silliness from earlier gone in an instant. Kooks tone was serious and he hardly gets serious. Kook clears his throat, feeling like he probably overshared a few things. He didnât want them to know what he did after he ended the stream that day. Itâs not everyday you tell your friends you were jerking off like a teenage boy in heat. He couldnât even remember the last time heâs done that, he always had someone to do it for him but nowâŚ..he didnât have a choice.
âAnywaysâŚ..our sex life isnât really anyoneâs business.â Kook says standing up, already missing Anyaâs presence. âCan you guys go so I can have some alone time with my girl?â
Jimin sighs shaking his head, but not in a bad way. In way that says âKook youâre in love and youâre a lost cause nowâ. All of them thought the same way but didnât want to risk Kook throwing another tantrum so they just nodded and decided to head out. âDonât mess things up Kook, she could possibly be the mother of your children one day.â Jin says playfully. âInvite us to the wedding, lover boy.â Taehyung also teases. Kook waves them away, locking the door before they changed their minds about giving them some privacy. Once theyâve left Kook takes a deep breath, trying to calm himself. Unfortunately he could practically feel his dick growing by the second as he thinks about them two being alone again. Maybe now is a good time. Thereâs no distractions. Itâs just them all alone. The atmosphere changes slightly at the thought. Anya was just behind that door, waiting for him. Kook stares at the closed door for a few moments longer before stepping closer to it. He could feel his heart rate pick up. His breathing quickened. This was it. This is what him and his dick needs right now. He reaches for the doorknob but before he could open the door it opens on its own. Anya was standing there looking beautiful as ever. He notices her items in her hands. She was leaving. Damn it! He was so closeâŚ..so fucking closeâŚ..
âHey itâs getting late and we have a test tomorrow morning in case you forgot.â
Kook straightens his posture trying to hide the very obvious tent in his shorts. âY-Yeah Iâll umâŚ.Iâll take you home.â He grabs her hand doing everything he can to distract her from his arousal.
~~~~~~~~~~~
The drive to Anyaâs house was absolute torture. He would regularly drive with his left hand on the steering wheel and with his right heâd rest it on her thigh. In any normal circumstance this would be nice, comfortable, but now it feels like Kook is going to explode. Thankfully the darkness in the car hid the tent in his shorts, plus Anya was too busy on her phone anyway to notice. All he wanted to do was park this fucking car and finally get the relief he needed. He clenches his jaw, his fist almost turning white with how tightly his hold the steering wheel. Heâs going absolutely insane and she doesnât even notice it. How is it so easy for her to just sit there so casually while his dick is practically cutting through his pants. Fuck! He steps on the gas a little harder, he needed to get her home as soon as possible so he can go home and deal with this problem. Damn it why is she so fucking-
âShould I call Haein?â Anya asks breaking the silence. He looks over at her and sees a hint of sadness in her eyes. He knew she missed her friend, but to be honest Kook liked having her to himself. Regardless sheâs still upset about their fight and he wants to help in anyway he can. Maybe talking about this would make his dick calm downâŚâŚhopefully.
âDo you want to call her?â Kook asks already having a feeling on what her answer is.
Anya sighs, feeling conflicted about what she should do. âWhat if I reach out to her and sheâŚ..I donât knowâŚâŚsays she doesnât want anything to do with me anymore.â
âWhat if she doesnât? You said sheâs your best friend right? Maybe sheâs missing you just as much as youâre missing her.â
She didnât think of it that way. The only outcome she expected was Haein yelling at her about how stupid she is for believing Kook. Anya knew Haein was just trying to help and be a good friend but her words hurt. Also Haein confessed to her. Anya has never seen her as anything other than her best friend and she didnât want this argument and confessed to ruin everything.
Kook rubs her thigh wanting to reassure her. âHeyâŚ..even if she gets upset at least you can say you tried right?â He gives her a small smile.
âYeahâŚ..yeah youâre right.â She nods, feeling a sense of determination and hope.
A little later they arrive to Anyaâs apartment. Kook walks her to her door with his arm around her waist. He hated doing this. Hated being apart from her even if itâs just for a few hours. But maybe itâs for the best right now. She obviously needs time to think about things with her and Haein. Also Kook needed some alone time too. âDream about me?â He says pulling her body against his.
Anya chuckles. âYou wish.â
âMaybe I doâŚâ He says with a grin leaning in closing the gap between them, pressing his lips against hers in a deep, passionate kiss. He kisses her roughly, making use of this opportunity he's wanted for so long. His grip on her waist tightens as he presses her against the door. His tongue entering her mouth this time as he deepens the kiss. He presses his body against her, pinning her between him and the door, his hands wandering down her body, until they reach the waistband of her pants. Kooks mind was cloudy, all he could do was feel and he wanted to feel her so fucking bad. But he wanted to do this the right way. He removes his hand from the waistband of her pants and backs away. He watches her catch her breath, her eyes full of the same intensity as his. âYouâre killing me AnyaâŚ..â he huffs out. His eyes dark and intense. He shouldâve just gave her a little kiss and thatâs it, but once again his dick took over his brain again.
Anya feels so frustrated right now she could cry, she was so close to having him. So close to being able to fulfill her desires. Before she could say anything he kisses her forehead and gives her a small smile. âGoodnight. See you later?â Anya nods, her words not being able to come through how she wants. With that she watches his figure disappear into the darkness of the night. Once sheâs in her apartment she flops on the couch with a frustrated groan. She didnât know how long she could keep this up. Maybe itâs time for both of them to have thatâŚ..conversation.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The next morning Anya woke up feeling even more tired than usual. Kook called her when he got home last night and they stayed up all night talking about nothing and everything at the same time. She liked how easy it is to talk to him about anything, except sex. Itâs a topic they brush off often, not taking it seriously but Anya was. It also didnât help when she walked on campus and seen him wearing a simple white shirt with baggy jeans. The simplest outfit like that makes her mind go wild. Once he spots her he holds eye contact and gives her a sweet smile. Her heart fluttered with happiness andâŚ..love. When she looks at him thatâs all she sees. Love. Admiration. Kindness. He was everything and more. She loves him. Complete and utter love.
She makes her way to him, still feeling butterflies in her stomach when sheâs with him in public. She looks through her peripheral vision and feels eyes on her, and they werenât Kookâs. Stopping in her tracks she turns around looking for a pair of eyes on her and thatâs when she sees her. Haein was standing there looking at Anya. Anyaâs heart drops at the sight of her. She hasnât seen her in weeks, and there she wasâŚ..standing there watching her. Has she been around this entire time? Was this Anyaâs first time noticing her? She wants to walk towards her but she doesnât know if itâs the right thing to do. Haein could still be upset with her and Anya didnât want to make things worse.
Anya felt an arm around her, pulling her closer. She recognized the scent by memory. Kook places a kiss on her cheek and leans in her ear. âGood morning.â He mutters. Anya looks away from Haein for a second to greet Kook, but when she turns around to look for Haein she was gone. Itâs like she vanished into thin air. A pang of disappointment washes over her and she feels like she lost her chance to speak to her.
Kook follows her gaze around the courtyard. âWhat are you looking for?â He asks. There was no trace of Haein anywhere, so Anya shakes her head dismissing the thought. âItâs nothing. I thought I saw HaeinâŚâ
Kook takes her hand in his, giving it a light squeeze. âDonât worry youâll get a chance to talk to her.â He could tell she was still upset, but he didnât know how to help. On one hand he wants to find Haein himself and make her talk to Anya, but on the other hand he feels slightly threatened by her. Haein wants Anya romantically and he really doesnât know how to feel about them being close again. What if Haein tries to make a move on Anya? What if Anya realizes she has unresolved feelings for her? Kook had a lot of opinions on her but itâs not his place to voice them. The only thing he can do is support Anya in whatever she wants.
Him and Anya walked through the campus, entering the building together. They only had one class together so Kook walks Anya to her first class. âSee you in Tech.â Anya says turning towards the door. Kook grabs her wrist pulling her against him. He smiles mischievously. âArenât you forgetting something?â His hands wraps around her waist. Kook didnât care about PDA, in fact in likes the idea of people seeing them together. Everyone would know that she was his and he was hers.
Anya on the other hand wasnât a fan of PDA, but the more they do it the more sheâs comfortable with it. âFine.â She aims to kiss him on the cheek but he turns his head, meeting her lips in a kiss. The feeling of her lips against his was like a wave of electricity coursing through his veins, he felt like he was on fire, like his heart might explode in his chest, he tightened his grip on her, his hands shaking with need and desire for her, he pressed himself against her, wanting to be as close to you as possible, needing to feel every part of her. He could practically feel the eyes of the other students watching them but he didnât care. The need for her was too strong. Kook knew if he didnât stop now he wouldnât be able to control himself. He wanted to pin her against the wall and take her right then and there, but he forces himself to stop. He reluctantly pulled away from the kiss, gasping for breath, his head spinning with the intensity of what had just happened, his heart still pounding in his chest, his body trembling with need and desire for her, he looked into her eyes and saw the same intensity and passion that he felt in himself, and he couldn't help but let a smile spread across his face. âYouâre killing me hereâŚ.â
She looks up to meet his gaze, panting slightly. âWe canât do that here JungkookâŚâ
âDonât remind me.â He says pulling back slightly. He takes her hands in his and leans in towards her ear, his voice hushed. âI really want to thoughâŚâ He pauses. âDo you know what Iâm talking about?â
Anya nods. She knows because she feels the same way, but the atmosphere wasnât where they should have this conversation. âYeahâŚletâs umâŚ..letâs talk about that later.â
âI work today, but maybe you could come over and possiblyâŚ.spend the night?â He asks hoping sheâd say yes. Sheâs never spent the night with him before and if this means what she thinks it means thenâŚâŚ
âOkay, yeah Iâd like that.â Sheâd loved it actually but she didnât want to come off as too desperate. Tonight is the night. Tonight sheâd finally get what sheâs been craving for, for so long and nothing was going to interfere with it.
Kook nods, biting his lip trying to fight back a moan. Tonight is the night. He already had everything he wanted to do prepared in his mind. Heâd kicked Jimin out, buy some candles, flower petals, and maybe some champagne. The thought alone made his dick twitch in interest, he couldnât wait. âOkay itâs settled then.â He stands up straight getting ready to head to his class. âIâll see you in Tech.â He kisses her cheek and turns to leave.
Anya watches him give her a playful wink as he disappears in the crowd. How was she supposed to focus on her schoolwork when she had a dick appointment tonight with her boyfriend. Her hot, sexy boyfriend. She smiles to herself as she turns into the classroom, but thatâs when she feels hands around her wrist, pulling her into an empty closet next to her classroom. She gasped at the intrusion and immediately thinks of Kook but it couldnât be him, she watched him walk awayâŚ..so who pulled her in here?
âAnya.â A familiar voice says behind her. The same voice that yelled at her a few weeks ago. The same voice she grew up with for years. Itâs was Haein. Haein did thisâŚ..but why?
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After Kooks says his goodbyes to Junghyun he hops in the car full of adrenaline. He was excited and nervous about seeing her but he still didnât know how she felt about him. He pulls up the address on his phone and turns the engine on. He takes a deep breath as he reverses out of the driveway. So much could happen once he gets there and knows he needs to prepare himself for the worst. He expects her to start yelling and screaming at him for everything and he was ready for it. Obviously he didnât want that but at least heâd get to see her, even if itâs the last time.
Twenty minutes later he notices the address gets closer and closer. He looks around and notices this side of town is so familiar to him. She lives here? As he gets closer to her street he continues to feel sense of surprise at the fact that he recognizes this area. Him and the guys would come over here to work out and thereâs a nice restaurant around too. How many times has he been on this side of town and seen her without knowing who she was? The fact that he doesnât even live less than ten minutes away from her feels him with even more nerves.
He pulls up to the apartment complex and slowly drives in searching for her apartment number. 401âŚâŚ.403âŚâŚ405âŚâŚboom 407 to the right. He finds an empty parking spot, pulling in cautiously. Heâs turns off the engine and silently prays that this will go well. He wanted to make sure he didnât fuck this up and if he did he couldnât forgive himself for it. Before he thought of different excuses to leave he gets out the car running his fingers through his hair. Come on Kook you can do it. Just donât fuck this up. He makes his way to the stairs and takes his time going up. After everything thatâs happened so far this was the scariest part. Onceâs heâs face to face with the door he hovers his knuckles over it. He hesitates for a second. What if sheâs sleeping? Or what if she isnât home? He doesnât have time to over think like this. With that he raises his arm up and then knocks on the doorâŚ.
âA-Anya itâs meâŚâŚJungkook.â
~~~~~~~~~~~
âC-Come in.â
Anya steps back making more room for him to enter. Her eyes watched as his shadow grew larger and larger. She couldnât quite see him due the darkness of the living room. Once heâs all the way inside she closes the door and faces Kook in the darkness. His back was turn, too busy admiring the room even in the darkness. He wanted to see more of everything. He turns to face her searching for her features in the dark. âCanâŚ.you turn on the lights?â He asks gently not wanting to upset her.
âIâmâŚ.scared toâŚâ Anya admits and it was true. She looks completely horrible right now. Her hair a mess, her eyes puffy from crying, she didnât necessarily want their first time meeting to be like this. She wanted to be on her top game and to feel it too but with the day sheâd had today she knew she didnât look appealing.
She sees his shadow moving in closer, causing her to back up against the wall. She can slightly see the reflection of his lip and eyebrow piercing glistening in the darkness. âClose your eyes.â He says softly, sending shivers down her spine. With the little distance they had between them she decided to obey and close her eyes. She still trusted him despite everything. She feels him coming closer, his right hand coming up and resting against the wall, before she could understand what was happening the lights turn on. The unexpected sensation makes her open her eyes to adjust to the bright light. As soon as sheâs does sheâs met with the most beautiful eyes sheâs ever seen. His eyes made him look incredible innocent, but itâs not the first time sheâs seen them this close. Her eyes traced over his face as if sheâs trying to memorize every detail.
Kook was no better. As soon as the lights turned on he felt a huge surge of love and admiration. He wanted to map out every inch of her face. He wants to feel her skin against his. Feel the love in person but he holds back. Itâs not the time or place for that right now. He could spend hours looking at her and hopefully he can. âYouâreâŚ..so beautiful.â He mumbled his eyes never leaving her face. Beautiful was an understatement she was gorgeous. Literally and utterly gorgeous. He doesnât want to blink, he doesnât want to miss an opportunity to see her face again. He slowly brings his hand up, hovering over her cheek. He can feel the heat radiating off her and he hasnât even touched her yet. âCan I?â
Anyaâs face flushed a light shade of red. He was so close and everything was happening in slow motion. She looks at his tattooed fingers and follows them all the way down to his arm. God he was so hot. He notices her eyes trailing down his arms and a wave of confidence washes over him. He knew he was hot but the fact that she did made him even more confident. âAre you going to keep staring Anya?â
She shakes her head, feeling a wave of embarrassment. âI-Iâm sorry. IâŚI um.â She moves to the side needed some space to not freak out. She takes a deep breath, it didnât make sense for someone like him to like a girl that looks like her. It didnât seem real. Could this actually be happening? Should she bring down her walls to be happy for the first time in forever?
Kook stares at her as she continues to have her epiphany. A small smile appears on his face, she looked so fucking cute and he couldnât look away. Although his mind was going to places he didnât want to go right now, they still needed to talk through what happened. Kook isnât the âletâs sit down and talk about our feelingsâ kind of guy. Heâd normally fuck someone and most likely ghost them as soon as he was finished with them. Yeah itâs fucked up but Kook never wanted to stay with a girl for any longer than he had to, but with Anya it was different. So different to the point where his emotions and feelings surpassed his desires for her. He didnât want this to be temporary. He wanted this to last for much longer. He takes a step closer to her, watching as her eyes avoids his. âUmâŚ..can we talk?â He asks, watching her expressions for any hint of rejection.
Anya swallows the lump in her throat. They needed to talk about everything she knows that, but it just seems so surreal. The guy she secretly had a crush on is the same guy sheâs been obsessed with on stream, and worst of all he likes her. He seen her in person and he still hasnât thrown up at the sight of her. That alone gives her hope. She nods and gestures for him to follow her on the couch. The atmosphere felt so thick with tension and it made her heart race. She sits down and he follows behind her, his knee lightly brushing against hers. A shiver ran through her spine at the contact. Maybe she was just a bit touched starved, itâs been almost two years since sheâs had any physical contact with anyone and with Kook right here in front of her she felt helpless.
âSoâŚâ she hears his voice breaking the silence. She could tell he was nervous she was too. He rubs the back of his neck, sighing slightly. Kook isnât used to this but he really wanted to try to.
âTo be honest AnyaâŚâŚIâm not used to this. Feelings and emotionsâŚ.its all new for me.â He admits. âBut I want to be honest with you because you deserve it.â He shifts a little in his seat feeling his heart racing again. His tongue comes out to nervously fidget with his tongue piercing, an old habit heâs always done. âItâs obvious I like you Anya. I do I really fucking do.â He sighs. âBut I donât know howâŚ.you feel about meâŚ..about us?â
Anya nods understanding where heâs coming from. Sheâs been keeping this wall built for so long and sheâs terrified to let them down. Unfortunately for her sheâs never really confronted her imperfectionâs to anyone other than herself. What if he thinks sheâs too damaged to be loved or thinks she absolutely unstable to be in a relationship with him? No matter how good things are her brain will always find ways for her to find something to be negative about. Itâs just always been that way.
âI know you were hurt because of me and Iâm sorry that I wasnât more-
âNo.â She cuts him off. âI shouldnât have been eavesdropping on your conversation. I shouldnât have blocked you without letting you explain yourself. And Iâm sorry for running away.â She takes a breath preparing herself for what sheâs about to say. âThe truth isâŚâŚ.is that Iâve always had a crush on you in class. I would see you come in and you never talked to anyone but I always found myself drawn to you somehow.â Come on Anya keep going. âAnd your streams changed my life. I didnât need to know what you looked like to know I had feelings for you. They were so many days where Iâd come home from school and work and I just wanted to cry myself to sleep. Iâd just get overwhelmed with everything, until I started watching you. And youâve helped me in ways I canât even describe.â She finally looks him in the eye. âI like you too Jungkook. Iâm justâŚ.scared youâd get tired of me or something.â
Kook felt his heart flutter at her words. He knew she was a long time fan but he didnât know he helped her like this. A small smile appears on his face, heâs more than glad to know that she found comfort in him before they even knew each other. It made him feel important.
Anya sighs. âSorry I ramble a lot.â
âI know.â He chuckles. âYouâre good at doing that.â
Anya feels relieved that the mood is lighter than before. Heâs still here with her and she doesnât want this to end. Sheâs already getting used to his scent now, something thatâs now permanently ingrained into her memory. âWait.â She sits up. âHowâd you get my address anyway? And how do you know my brother?â
âOh right. When I went to my parentâs house he was there with my brother. Theyâre friends and I was really desperate to talk to you so he just gave me your address.â
Anya nods. She wants to thank Aiden when she gets the chance. âSounds like him. Always telling my business.â
Kook lays more comfortably on the couch feeling more relaxed than earlier. As if heâs been here plenty of times now. âOh yeah he told me about your little crush on me.â He grins. âItâs cute really, I mean you have really good taste.â
Anya rolls her eyes. âAs if. I donât have a crush on you.â
âYou just said you didâŚâ Kook teases.
âI-âŚ..Well I lied.â She looks away avoiding his eyes. âYouâre too cocky for your own good.â
Kook moves closer, his body moving on its own. âI am.â When he doesnât see her moving away he takes that as consent to continue. âCan you handle that? Can youâŚ.handle me?â
Anya felt a shiver run through her spine. The way he whispered that like it was nothing. She likes this. Likes the attention sheâs getting and looks like he likes it too. Sheâs feels him moving in closer and she doesnât move an inch. All she could do was nod as a response. His scent filled the air and made her body shiver.
Kooks gaze flickers to her eyes then her lips. He wanted to capture them in a heated kiss. Wanted to finally give in, but he knew it was too soon, but right now he wanted too. âI want to kiss you Anya.â He murmured, his hand cupping her cheek. âIâve waited too longâŚâ His body responding on its own. He could see the hesitation in her eyes but he couldnât help himself. He didnât want to make her feel uncomfortable, so he slowly removes his hand but before he could she stops him.
âDonâtâŚâ she says quietly, placing his hand back on her cheek. They were inches apart now, the air thick with tension. Anya felt a surge of confidence wash over her. She faces him and watches as his eyes roam over her face. His tongue licking over his lip piercing sent a jolt of desire straight to her core. She looks at him meeting his gaze. Thereâs no going back now.
Kook looks at the want and need in her eyes and leans closer. He was so fucking nervous but he didnât want to show it. Instead he closes the gap between them with a soft kiss. The way their lips moved felt so in sync and so right. He tilts her chin up for better access as he deepen the kiss. After all that time imagine what it would be like to kiss herâŚâŚ...he finally knows and he doesnât want to stop. His tongue slipping into her mouth, seeking out hers, his touch becoming more passionate and confident with every passing moment. He slips an arm around her body, gently pulling her closer to him, wanting to feel as much of her body as possible. Needing to feel her skin under his fingers. He gently lays her down on the couch, hovering over her. He breaks away from the kiss, catching his breath. âAnyaâŚâ His voice was hoarse and needy. She looked so good lying beneath him, panting with her lips swollen. He wants to see this sight everyday of his life. He wants her. Only her. âDo youâŚ.forgive me?â He asks, his eyes soft and gentle. Silently pleading for her to say yesâŚ
Anyaâs heart could burst right now with the way sheâs feeling right now. That kiss wasâŚ.was everything she could ever want. Her body vibrating with need. She looks into his eyes as he asks the question. She didnât see a hint of mischief or ill intentions in his eyes just vulnerability and love. Never in her entire life has she seen eyes so pure as his. He was being genuine about his feelings towards her. Everything he said was true, she could feel it. Maybe it was time for her to let herself be happy for once. Whatâs holding her back? Rejection? No. Insecurity? Maybe. Fear? Definitely. She was afraid of letting herself be happy, scared things might not work out. She wanted this to be something so good and pure. What if something happens? âW-WhatâŚ..what if it doesnât work outâŚ.between us?â She asks nervously.
Kook smiles softly, holding her cheek in his palm. âWeâll make it work. And it doesnât hurt to try, right?â
Anya nods. Heâs right she shouldnât let herself insecurities get the best of her. She should take that leap of faith and make this happen between them. âR-Right..â she smiles back feeling a warm sensation in her chest. âI forgive you. And Iâm sorry for assuming the worst about youâŚâ
Kook shakes his head. âItâs okay. NowâŚ.unblock me or Iâll die all over again.â
Kook watched as his family sing happy birthday to his father. He sung along but his mind was elsewhere. Although it was his fatherâs birthday Kook couldnât even focus on it. He puts on a fake smile and pretends to be involved even when heâs far from it. Anyaâs address was in his phone. The place where she lives. He couldnât just pop up there without warning right? Then again itâs not like he could call or text her to ask. Heâs supposed to be staying here with his parents for the weekend but heâs debating if he should make an excuse to leave early. He obviously feels bad for not being more present in the moment, he hardly sees this family anymore and he should be talking and catching up with them. Not imagining different scenarios in where he pops up on Anya.
âJungkook?â His mother says lightly tapping his shoulder. âYou okay honey?â
Kook shakes out of his thoughts and looks around seeing all eyes on him. âWhat?â He looks at his mom.
âYouâve hardly said anything since you got here. Is everything okay?â
Kook gives her a small smile hoping that sheâll believe him and drop the topic. âIâm fine mom it was just a long drive so Iâm pretty tired.â He lies. Heâs far from tired right now.
âOr itâs that gaming youâve been doing.â Kooks dad interjects. âWe told you thatâs not a real career son. You need to finish school and study politics like me and your mother.â
âRight.â Kook nods. His parents never liked the idea of him being a streamer. They thought he was scamming people for their money which is ridiculous isnât it? At least heâs taking his school work seriously. To be fair he hasnât failed a class since the beginning of the semester. That should count as something right? He understands heâs the oldest child and his parents expect more from him but he really didnât want to have another argument about his gaming life, especially on his fatherâs birthday. So he just nods like he normally does.
Junghyun looks at Kook as if he could read his mind and maybe he could because he completely changes the subject and talks to his parents about how much the food tastes better when the whole family is together. Kook mentally thanks him and takes a bit of the food that is now cold from his daydreaming. He decides to at least try to make conversation with his family instead of thinking about Anya but it was really fucking hard.
After dinner Kook takes his bag and goes upstairs into his old childhood room. The smell of nostalgia fills his nostrils. He sets his bag down and looks around the room. Everything was still in place just how he left it. All of his trophies and medals were still up, slightly dusted. He feels like heâs looking at a whole different person. The man he was years ago was completely different from him now.
âGoing down memory lane?â Junghyun says leaning against the door frame so casually. Kook looks up at him nodding as he picks up an old picture of him and Junghyun. They were at Kooks first baseball game many years ago. Kook looked so small and so carefree. He couldnât even remember the last time he felt like his old self. Too caught up on the modern day stuff he completely forgot who he was. Well that was before he met Anya. She lit that fire that burned to ashes inside of him. She saw through him without even looking at him face to face. She woke him up. She made him feel like he could be himself. She saw the difference between Kook and Jungkook. And nowâŚ..Kook wants to feel likeâŚ.Jungkook again and he hasnât in so long. He always thought he had to be the best at everything. Sports, women, money you name it. He wanted to be this version of himself that could get anyone and anything he wanted. It worked for years but whatâs the point of having everything youâve wanted but not having who you wantedâŚâŚnoâŚ..who you needed. He needed her in ways he didnât even know. He hates that it took her to cut him off to see how much he cared about her and now he doesnât even know if she feels the same way. Kook wants to give up and just move on with his life maybe forget this happened, but Jungkook wants to keep trying. He doesnât want to give up, but a part of him inside is still insecure and doubtful. More importantly heâs terrified. Terrified in both ways. If she takes him back and decides to actually build a relationship with him heâll be terrified because heâs never done that before. Never let any woman get too close or too comfortable with him in fear of abandonment. Although if she decides she doesnât want anything to do with him heâd be terrified but at least heâd triedâŚ..
Junghyun sits on the edge of his bed. He watches Kook take a seat next to him, still holding the picture frame in his hand. His eyes never leaving it. âIs thisâŚâŚis this about Anya?â Junghyun asks cautiously. âWhat happened?â
Kook clenches his jaw fighting the back tears that are trying to escape. âI umâŚâ he chokes out, his voice becoming more hoarse. âIâŚI think I lostâŚ.her. And I donât know what to do orâŚ..or how to get her back.â He wanted to fucking slap himself for tearing up like this. Itâs embarrassing that he couldnât even keep his emotions in check.
Junghyun wraps his arm around Kooks shoulders. âSince when have you ever given up on yourself? I think youâre underestimating yourself Jungkook.â Kook sighs feeling grateful for his brotherâs words, but he also felt a sense of determination within him. Junghyun was right, Kook wasnât the type to just give up so easily especially for not something heâs passionate about. Or someone heâs passionate about.
âItâs not that easy. I donât want to overstep her boundaries.â Kook knew his brother was right but in this moment he was making excuses for himself. Trying to make up scenarios thatâll make him back out. âWhat if it goes wrong? What if she tells me to fuck off?â
âAt least you tried and at least you had an opportunity to be truthful with her.â Junghyun replied. âWhatever happens be honest with her no matter what.â
Be honest. Tell her everything. Okay yeah he could do that and if she still hates him afterwards heâll justâŚ..gosh he doesnât know and he doesnât want to find out either. She deserves to know how much sheâs affected his life since they met. He needs to tell her how much heâŚâŚloves her. Love? Thatâs a strong word but Kook couldnât think of anything else to describe his feelings for her and âloveâ seems like it fits well. Kook loves Anya. Kook fell in love with Anya without even realizing it. All the nights heâd fall asleep to her voice. In the mornings when heâd jumped up out of bed to see if she texted him. All the stupid conversations they had. All the times heâd just let her rambling about whatever just so he could hear her talk more. When he jump on stream searching each individual viewer just to find hers. The way his heart would beat so fast when heâd see her contact calling him randomly. All of that and heâd didnât think it was love. A crush maybe but love? No he didnât think he was capable to feel thatâŚ..but he did. So fucking badly.
Kook letâs out a deep breath. âYouâre rightâŚ..but I donât even think Mom and Dad would let me leave randomly because of it. I might have to wait until tomorrow.â He looks at the clock and itâs already half past ten. Heâs supposed to stay for the weekend but itâs becoming extremely difficult. At least heâd have enough time to go over what he wanted to say to her.
âWhat are they going to do? Ground you?â Junghyun comments. âYouâre a grown man and I know for a fact theyâre both sleeping as we speak.â
He did have a point. There was nothing stopping him from heading to her house and before he could make an excuse for not going he gets up before he could change his mind. âI should go before I talk myself out of it then.â Kook grabs his bag and places the picture frame back on his desk. Junghyun gives him a smile of encouragement and understanding. Kook walks out and heads towards the front door, grabbing his car keys. He turns around to see Junghyun holding the picture frame of them two in his hand. âHere take it with you.â He suggests. âItâd make me feel better if I knew it was with you. Maybe you wonât forget about me when youâre busy.â
Kooks eyes softened at his words. Heâs been so caught up with this situation with. Anya he didnât even spend any time with his brother. âItâs justâŚ..we used to be so close and now we only speak when IâmâŚ.doing something reckless or on holidays. I thought the motorcycle accident wouldâŚ..get your attention. And it worked.â Junghyun admits. Kook could see the tears falling from his eyes and immediately drops his bag and walks towards him. He made two people cry about him in less than 24 hours, he needed to fix this.
âHey hey donât cry.â Kooks says wiping the tears away. He couldnât believe how selfish heâs been recently and he hates himself for it. âYou donât and will never need to hurt yourself to get my attention. Youâre my brother and I love you. Iâve shouldâve been more communicative with you and our parents.â Kook sighs feeling a wave of guilt. âJunghyun I havenât forgotten about you just because I live far away now. I worry about you all the time, ask Jimin Iâve been venting to him recently about how reckless youâve been.â
Junghyun looks up, his eyes full of hope. âReally?â
âReally.â Kook pulls him in for a hug. âYouâre my best friend you know that? Iâll always be here for you, no matter the distance.â
Junghyun nods as he holds on to him. âIâll stay the entire weekend with you. Say the word and Iâll go back upstairs and we can play video games like we used too.â Kook always used to put Junghyun first. Itâs time he start acting like it.
âYeah that sounds good but umâŚ.â Junghyun pulls away. âI think you should talk to Anya first. If you stay now youâll be moping around about her the entire time anyway. It might ruined the mood.â He says with a small smile.
âNo Junghyun itâs okay Iâll stay-
Junghyun picks up his bag and hands him the keys. âI promise itâs fine. Just visit more often before I graduate.â
âAre you sure?â Kook asks, needing to make sure he was okay with this.
Junghyun nods. âYeah get her back.â
Kook smiles softly hugging him one more time. âI fucking hope soâŚâ
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Anya couldnât sleep no matter how long she kept her eyes closed. All she could hear and see was Kook. It also didnât help that the harsh words Haein said were also on a loop in her head. She tosses and turns in the bed unable to find a comfortable position. She feels helpless. Like sheâd be in the mental state forever. Is that possible? Could she actually die because of this? It felt like it. She sits up and walks into her living room. The darkness making her feel even more empty and alone.
She looks outside and sees a couple of people walking the empty streets and she canât help but wonder whatâs it like to be so carefree and happy. When the was time Anya has been genuinely happy? Before Kook? After Kook? No it was with Kook period. Every moment when he was there Anya was happy. He made her happy. He never judged her. Never called her nasty names she calls herself. He always listened to her even when she was half asleep on the phone and her words didnât make sense. The worst part of that was she hated hanging up the phone. Hating being apart from him in any way. He just made life so much better. When she wakes up in the morning she feels excited to have someone to talk to. Or when sheâd watch his streams it always felt like she knew him. Kinda like they knew each other in their past lives. Anya knew that was probably reaching things but itâs true. She doesnât know how to feel about this situation but she does know that she misses him. Gosh she misses him so much. A part of her blames herself for eavesdropping in the first place. If sheâd just mind her business this wouldnât have happened but no. Anya was feeling really happy in life to the point where the universe told her to not be so naive. Prepare for the worst and she didnât. She wonders if she deserves this? She is always meant to be heartbroken and lonely? Will she die alone with no one to love her? It certainly feels that way.
Still distracted by her thoughts she sees a bright light pulling her back into reality. She looks outside and sees a car pull up in the front of her apartment. It was a nice car she immediately thinks about one of her rich neighbors who buys cars like their clothes. The front door opens and a tall figure steps out. Anya couldnât quite make out who it was but she was curious nonetheless. The mystery man gets out the car and stands still for a moment. Could he be a robber? Or a murder? This is the perfect atmosphere for both. The man runs his fingers through his hair and makes his way up the stairs. Unfortunately for Anya sheâs not able to see which direction the man is walking but she stills locks her door just incase. Few seconds later she hears a knock on her front door and her heart drops. Could it be that mystery man? Will he try to kill her or worse? Anya stood still in the middle of the living room. She wonders what she can use to protect herself-
âA-Anya itâs meâŚ..Jungkook.â
Anya pauses. No no no thatâs not Jungkook. If anything that could be a skin walker pretending to be him. Kook didnât care about her, she knows that now. She already accepted that. He doesnât even know her address either because she never given it to him. So who the hell is this?
âCan we talk please?â
She wants to grab the sharpest knife in her kitchen to defend herself but she doesnât want to make any movements.
âI can hear you breathing AnyaâŚ.â
âG-Go away.â She mumbles out. âIâm not opening the door.â
Kook sighs but nods as if she could see him. âThen donâtâŚâŚjust hear me out, please?â
She moves closer to the door waiting for what heâd say next.
âAnyaâŚ..fuckâŚ.Iâm so fucking sorry. What you heard with me and Jimin wasnât about you.â He takes a deep breath controlling his emotions. âEver since weâve been talking on stream other people have been texting me and asking me inappropriate things and thatâs what me and Jimin were talking about. Theyâre jealous of you Anya and they want me.â
She remains silent.
âYou mean so much more to me than them. I fucking mean it Anya. Youâre the one I wantâŚ..and need.â Kook was sounding more and more desperate. âI understand why youâre upset with me but I would never call you an annoying fan, because youâre not.â He rests his forehead against the door feeling helpless but chooses to continue with his words. âYouâve completely changed my life for the better Anya and I want you in it. So pleaseâŚ..be in my life because I donât think I can ever go back to the way I was before youâŚâ
Anya feels her heart racing as he continues. Sheâs never seen him so open and vulnerable.
âLook KookâŚ..I mean JungkookâŚâ she sighs. âI donât even know what to call you.â
âCall me whatever you want. You can call me Kook, you can call me Jungkook.â He pauses for a second. âYou can call me a hypocrite, call me a fucking liar an idiot a bastard.â He sighs closing his eyes. âYou can call me in the middle of the nightâŚâŚ.call me when youâre sadâŚâŚ.or angryâŚâŚ.or depressed but please Anya never stop calling me. IâmâŚ..I wantâŚ.I justâŚâ Kook stops talking for a moment. He needs to breathe and make sure he doesnât let his emotions take over his mind. He didnât want to scare her off. He lets out a low chuckle with no humor in it feeling stupid, confessing his feelings like some teenager. âI fucking sound pathetic.â
Anya was leaning against the door, her back against it. His words made her heart flutter in the best way possible. She sighs softly as she thinks of something to say.
Kook hears her sigh and immediately feels like he fucked up again. âAnya Iâm sorry IâŚâŚ..I donât want to make you comfortable Iâm just feeling really fucking desperate right now.â He breathes out. âI justâŚ..if youâre going to hate me forever thenâŚ..then I canât stop you. But before you doâŚ..âŚcan IâŚ..see you?â
âWhy?â Anya asks quietly. âIâm not the type of girls you would like. I know youâre with Yuna and Iâm nothing like herâŚâŚ.at all.â
âThatâs the point Anya.â He replies. âI donât like Yuna or care about her trust me. Sheâs just someone I used to sleep with thatâs all.â He bites his lip nervously. âYouâre the type of girl that I like AnyaâŚâŚmaybe more than like.â
More than like? Does he mean-
âIâŚ..â he sighs. Just say it Kook. Say the truth. Tell her how she makes you feel Kook you got this. He clears his throat, his fingers trembling and his heart racing. Heâs doing this and thereâs no backing out.
âIâŚ..I lo-â He was cut off by the sounds of the door unlocking. One click. Two clicks. Time froze. His breath quickened. Kook watched the door slowly open, revealing a dark room.
Kook drops his bag at the front of the door and walks back towards the boys. This was the only way he could get to Anya, and he never felt more desperate.
âYouâre Anyaâs brother?â Jungkook asked with a hint of vulnerability in his voice.
âYeah why? Do you know her?â
Kook let out a sigh of relief, finally there was hope, and it was right here in front of him. He couldnât mess this up. This could be the only way he could explain himself.
âYes I know her itâs a long story but can you please-
âJungkook honey you made it!â
He turns to see his mom and dad opening the door with warm smiles. As much as he loves his parents he really wanted them to fuck off right now. He was this close to finally getting some process with Anya and he couldnât let it slip away.
âAiden I need you to tell Anya something for me please.â Fuck. He hated how needy he sounded but he didnât have much of a choice.
âHow do you know his sister?â Junghyun asks.
âAiden can I use your phone please?â Kook ignores Junghyunâs comment, silently begging Aiden to agree to let him used his phone to get in contact with Anya. If he had to get on his knees for this he would.
Aiden looks at Kook with a confused expression. He didnât understand what was going on but nevertheless he pulls out his phone for Kook to use. âOkay here.â
Kook takes the phone with trembling hands. This was his only chance and he couldnât let anyone or anything get in his way. âJunghyun tell mom and dad I needed to make a call real quick.â
Junghyun nodded understanding that Kook was being serious about this. Him and Aiden walk towards the front door attempting to distract his parents. As Kook stood there for a moment he realized he didnât even know what to say. Obviously he needs to apologize but thereâs more he wants to say. He scrolls through phone searching for Anyaâs number. Once he finds it, it takes a moment to calm himself down. Okay Kook you can do this, just do it right nowâŚ..He hovers his thumb over her contact. He needed to do this. No excuses. With that he clicks her name and puts the phone to his ear, the sound of ringing makes his heart race.
âWhat?â
He could hear the stuffiness in her voice and it kills him to know sheâs been crying because of him. He wanted to ramble about how much he likes her and that nothing she heard from him was true and that he would never do anything to hurt her, but he knew he was short on time. She could hang up at any moment so he needed to say everything all at once.
âAiden Iâm not in the mood for your stupid pranks.â Anya says annoyed. She shouldnât have answered the phone. She just wanted to be alone.
âItâs me.â
Her eyes shot open, she sits up from the bed. Is her brain making her hallucinate Kook? Is this her karma for being too hopeful in the past? It had to be. Thereâs no way Kook knew her brother to be using his phone. Whatâs going on?
âAnya look I know youâre upset with me but I wasnât talking about you.â Kook says hoping sheâs understanding where heâs coming from. âI care about you Anya more than you know and Iâll never jeopardize that. Just please unblock me so we can talkâŚ..please.â
She was silent for a long moment.
âAnya please IâŚâŚfuckâŚ..I lov-
The phone disconnects.
âNo no no..â Kook looks at the screen. Did she hang up? Shit! Did he fuck up again? He quickly goes back to call her but the line goes out. âShit!â He desperately taps the phone praying that sheâll just call back in a second, but she doesnât.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Anya looks at her screen seeing the battery low signal. Of course her battery would die in this situation. She reaches for her charger but then thinks about what Kook just said. âI wasnât talking about youâŚ.â Should she believe that? Or is this just another excuse for her to fall for his trap again? Her heart wants her to charge her phone immediately and call him back but her brain says âdonât itâs just another trapâ. Sheâs torn between the two. What did he even do to get Aidenâs phone just to call her? Does it mean he cares?
âWho was that?â Haein asks removing her phone from her face. Anya shakes her head still avoiding talking about the situation. âJust AidenâŚâ
Haein sits up and looks at her. âWhen are you going to tell me what happened?â
Anya sighs feeling a pang of guilt. Haein has been with her this entire time and the least Anya could do is tell her what really happenedâŚ..
âOkay IâllâŚâŚIâll tell youâŚâ
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kook tried calling back almost a dozen times but she didnât pick up. So is this it? Should he give up? Itâs clear that she doesnât want anything to do with him and it kills him. If she wants nothing to do with him fine so be it, but she will know that truth about what happened and how much he cares about her.
âEverything okay?â Aiden says with a look of sympathy on his face. Kook didnât want anyoneâs pity he never did, but this was different. This was about Anya. The only girl he would be pathetic for. Kook hands Aiden his phone back, fighting the urge to attempt to call her again, but he knew it was over. âShe hung up on meâŚ.â
âWhatâs going on between you and my sister?â
Kook hesitated for moment but thought about how heâs has nothing to lose in this moment. She was done with himâŚ..for good so whatâs the harm in venting to her brother right? âI like herâŚ.and she overheard something that wasnât about her and nowâŚâŚsheâs done with me.â Kook takes a deep breath, feeling the dry lump in his throat. âI messed upâŚ.â
Aiden listens intently, taking everything in. He was definitely surprised at the situation but he didnât freak out how Kook thought he would. âWow I wouldnât have guessed that.â Aiden thinks for a second before speaking again. âLook one thing about my sister is that she overthinks a lot. She didnât grow up with much confidence in herself. Which sucks but if I were you I would keep trying at least.â
Kook felt a flicker of hope in his chest. âWhat do you mean? She doesnât want to talk to me.â
âMaybe you should talk to her.â Aiden suggests. Kook didnât understand what he meant by that. Heâs already tried to explain himself but had no luck. Kookâs eyes follows Aiden movements as he scrolls through his phone searching for something. Could whatever he finds help him get back in touch with Anya? More importantly would it even work?
âIn any normal circumstance I wouldnât do this because technically youâre a stranger but this feels like an appropriate time.â Aiden shows him an address on his phone. Wait is that- âThis is her address. Maybe if you show up and talk to her sheâll listen.â
Kook couldnât believe what he was seeing, is this real? âW-Why are you giving me this?â Kook isnât complaining but it seems a bit too good to be true, he need to know this was real and if this was actually her address and not some stupid prank.
Aiden shrugs as if his answer is so obvious. âBecause I believe what you said and I know my sister is too stubborn to unblock you so this would help. Plus like Junghyun said earlier I am
a fan and I want to help youâŚ..and her of course.â
As Kook puts the address in phone he feels like heâs holding the most valuable thing in the world, and it was. Anyaâs address. This was is last chance to make things right before it was too late. âThank youâŚ.seriously IâŚ.I canât thank you enough.â
âNo problem just make sure she happy, she deserves it.â Kook couldnât agree more. If anyone was going to make her happy it was him.
Junghyun comes from inside the house with an annoyed expression. âI canât take them Jungkook hurry up and entertain them, and after you better tell me whatâs going on.â
Kook scratches the back of his neck feeling a bit guilty for making his brother distract their parents for this long. âIâm coming!â
~~~~~~~~~~~~
âAnd he just called me on Aidenâs phone saying he didnât mean what he saidâŚâŚand that he wasnât talking about meâŚâ Anya finishes. As she told Haein what happened she couldnât even look at her. Haein was always blunt and she knew Haein wouldnât be happy hearing this. Not to mention she was already embarrassed about all of this.
Haein scoffs. âFucking asshole. Who does he think he is?!â She yells.
âHe said he wasnât talking about me but I donât know-
âOf course he was talking about you! Who else was he talking about?! Gosh I knew I didnât like him I fucking knew it!â Anya flinches at her words. Haein was furious and Anya felt like there was truth in her words. Sheâd believe Haein over pretty much anyone and hearing her say that he was talking about her made her feel even more like shit. âI really really really like him HaeinâŚâ
âDonât! Dont waste your feelings on someone like him. You deserves someone who would always love and appreciate you someone like-â Haein cuts herself off.
Anya looks up. âWhat?â
Haein sighs, feeling frustrated and a hint of something else. âI-I just meanâŚ..heâs not the only person in the world AnyaâŚ.â She looks at Anya. âHeâs not the only person who cares about youâŚâŚ.or even likes you.â
Anya didnât understand what she meant by that. Yes itâs true he isnât the only person in the world but heâs the only person she wants. âI knowâŚ..itâs justâŚ..not easy to get over someone like-
âIâm talking about me Anya.â Haein cuts her off. Her voice laced with emotion. âIâm always there for you more than anyone. I care about you more than anyone. This streamer guy isnât important Anya. You donât need him.â
Anya looked at her with disbelief. âKook isnât important?â Heâs more than important. He literally changed her life for the better and she has the right to say he isnât important? âLook Haein you donât understand he-
âNo no Anya I do understand. Youâre so obsessed with this guy who basically called you obsessed! I mean come on Anya heâs a fucking liar and a coward. Donât be stupid to be believe him.â
Anya was speechless.
âGod canât you see whatâs right in front of you?! Not some guy you havenât even met in person yet!â Haein says, her voice rising higher with each breath. âCome on Anya you canât be this naive.â
Anya looked at her with surprise and shock. Sheâs seen Haein get upset over the smallest things before, but this was different. Haein was yelling at her. Calling her ânaiveâ for liking someone like Kook. And all of sudden she confesses her feelings for her? This was all too much and Anya was already overwhelmed with feelings and emotions. She couldnât do this right now.
âI think you should go HaeinâŚâ Anya says softly not wanting to cause another argument.
Haein scoffs. âYeah donât worry Iâm going.â She says grabbing her things. Anya watches her walk out slamming the door behind her. She was now left alone in her thoughts. The sound of her breathing echoed in the now empty apartment. So much has happened today and her mind was going overdrive. Her and Haein hardly ever argue with each other. Sometimes they would disagree on things but it never lead into an argumentâŚ.not like this. Anya definitely didnât expect a confession from her either.
She lays back in bed, pulling the covers over her. It was late and she was so exhausted from the day she had and now all Anya wanted to do was sleep and hope when she wakes up tomorrow this would all be a dreamâŚ..a nightmare. After turning the lights out Anya debates if she should charge her phone. Maybe kook would call again âŚ..she wanted him to call. She wanted to believe him, to run into his arms and live happily ever after, but it isnât that easy. She charges her phone, telling herself she should just incase of an emergency but really she had a flicker of hope in her heart that maybeâŚâŚ..just maybe he was being truthful.
Anya arrives to school Friday morning with the biggest smile on her face. Everything thatâs happened in the last 16 hours has been on her mind on repeat. Kook likes her. Actually likes her, likes her and this weekend is when she finally gets to see him for the first time. Should she buy a new outfit? Should she get her hair done? Absolutely she couldnât afford to look like shit when he sees her. Mmm but what if-
âAnya!â Haein taps her shoulder. âAre you even listening to me?â
Anya blinks. âOh sorry what did you say?â
Haein sighs putting her head on Anyaâs shoulder. âI need to finish this report but this stupid library is too quiet. Who studies in silent?â
âEveryone.â Anya replies. âWhy did you come to school if youâre still hungover from yesterday?â
Haein shrugs.
âYou know I cant babysit you forever? I have a life too.â
Haein lifts her head up, her demeanor changing slightly. âWhy so you can keep texting and watching that streamer guy?â She scoffs. âHe doesnât even show face. I bet heâs an old man or something.â
âHe is not an old man. HeâsâŚâŚâ Anya smiles thinking of their conversation from the previous night. âHeâs amazingâŚ.â Amazing was an understatement, but she didnât want to get into that with Haein.
Haein looks at her suspiciously. âAnya I donât trust him he just seems like a player who likes attention. Kinda like an international playboy or something.â
Anya rolls her eyes she doesnât know Kook like how she does. She doesnât know the conversations theyâve shared alone, or the late night calls theyâve had together. Yes he flirts but he confessed his feelings for her. Itâs not fair to judge him just because he flirts on stream, heâs probably not even like that in person. âHey you donât know him like I do. Itâs not fair to judge him like that.â
âHey Iâm just saying, plus youâve invested so much time into watching him what if your brain created a false narrative about him.â
Anya stands up. âIâm just going to pretend like you didnât just say that.â She grabs her book heading towards the book shelves. âIâm going to return this Iâll be back.â She pauses. âOh and my brain didnât create a false narrative. Heâs actually a great guy if you knew him.â
Haein waves her off and lays her head on the desk, opting to take a nap right there in the middle of the library. Anya sighs and heads towards the back of the library. She scans the aisles for the geography section but doesnât find any luck. As she goes further she finally see what looks like the section sheâs looking for. She looks for the exact spot she put the book last time but before she could she hears a voice. Not just any voiceâŚ..the voice she listens to everyday. The voice that just confessed to her the previous nightâŚâŚ.Kook. She heard Kook and it wasnât over the phone or on streamâŚ..it was in person. In real life. He went to her school? This whole time he was this close to her? Anya takes a deep breath, closing her eyes. This is itâŚâŚas soon as she opens her eyes sheâll see him.
âFucking weirdos. Texting everyday over me and now you? Sometimes I wish messaging us wasnât available.â
What? Who is he talking about? Should she open her eyes? What if-
âYou flirt a lot too so thatâs why she thinks she has a chance with you. Itâs embarrassing really. Iâm debating on just turning off my DMâsâ
That voice also sounds familiar. Anya couldnât take it anymore she needed to see him. To put a face behind the voice sheâs so infatuated with. Slowly she opens her eyes following the voice behind the shelve. Her eyes land onâŚ.Jimin? That YouTuber guy? Wait she had a class with him. So does that meanâŚâŚShe followed Jiminâs gaze to the man in front of him. Her heart stopped.
Jeon wasâŚ..Kook. KookâŚ..was Jeon? But his name was Jungkook right? No no this doesnât make sense. But when has she ever heard Jeon speak until now? This whole time he was Kook? She wanted to walk up to him. She wanted him to make sense of this. Heâs the streamer sheâs been so obsessed with. Heâs right here in armâs length. Gosh the fact that Jeon and Kook were the same person made him look even more attractive. A small smile form on her face but was quickly replaced with a frown.
âYeah I flirt but it doesnât mean anything. Itâs just for fun and views. I donât actually mean it.â
What? Wait was he talking about her? Sheâs the only person heâs been flirting with on stream lately. So this means JMochi was Jimin this whole time? In that case they were talking about her. Sheâs the one who messaged JMochi and started all of this. They have to be talking about her. SoâŚ..So Kook didnât mean it? He flirts for fun? For views? So was she just a joke to him? Someone they can use for views and likes? Anya felt like her entire world was crashing down. She wanted to fall out and cry on this library floor, but also she wanted to jump into the arms of that man who apparently never meant anything he said to her. Before she could continue listening to his harsh words she runs out the library as fast as she could. This couldnât be happening, everything was going so well between them and nowâŚâŚnow she just feels like a complete fool for catches feelings for someone like him.
She exits the school not caring that sheâs about to miss her lecture, she needed to go home and cry her eyes out. Why did it hurt so badly? Was it because she finally gave into her feelings? The wall she built from all men was almostâŚâŚalmost completely gone for KookâŚ..JeonâŚ..Jungkook? Gosh she didnât even know what to call him. Her tears blurred her vision, her classmates looking at her and no one caring to stop to help her. She falls to her knees crying more hysterically. This really hurts. She knew should get up but now all she wanted was to cry until her eyes fell out.
âAnya!â
She feels Haeins arms around her. âWhat the hell happened?!â Haein was worried. Anya didnât like worrying her but now she couldnât even hide her emotions. Haein looks at the other students watching the scene. âMind your own goddamn business, or Iâll fucking attack all of you.â She threatens. The crowd eventually disappears and Haein helps Anya stand up. Haein didnât pressure her to talk, she just helps her get away from the school. âI got you.â Haein says and itâs exactly what Anya needs to hear right now. Later she knew Haein would want to know whatâs going on but Anya was too embarrassed to even speak on it. Everything Haein said was true and Anya let her excitement get the best of her. âExpect disappointment and you wonât get disappointedâ is something she shouldâve remembered in this caseâŚ..
~~~~~~~~~~
Kook sits in class with his phone clutched to his hand. Itâs been almost two hours since he heard from Anya. He tried calling but it was no use it went straight to voicemail. A part of him was worried but he didnât want to assume anything was wrong. The professor continues with the lecture but his mind was somewhere else. He couldnât stop looking at his phone. Everything around him didnât matter. All that matters was a text from Anya. Anything would help right now. He reopened their previous messages only to be seen with a text she just sent.
What the fuck. Is this a joke? What is she talking about? âAnnoying fan?â Heâs never called her that.
His heart drops.
Fuck she blocked him! He sits up straight attempting to call her but it went straight to voicemail. No this isnât happening.
âWhatâs your problem?â Jimin ask looking at him with a confused expression.
Kook didnât answer him, instead he grabbed his phone and tries to text her using Jiminâs account. He goes through all of the recent messages about how much fans wanted to fuck him, and he completing ignoring them he needed to find Anyaâs previous messages with Jimin. He finds her inbox and tries to quickly type out a message only to be left with it not delivering. She blocked Jimin too? What the fuck is happening? More importantly why does Anyaâs message before she blocked him sound familiar?
âYou good?â Jimin asks again for the third time. Kook didnât care to notice him speaking. He needs to find a way to talk to her. This all has to be a misunderstanding he would never call her annoying in that sense. And she mentioned that he was just pretending? Absolutely not, he wishes it was that easy but itâs not. Kook really had genuine feelings for her and as much as he didnât want to admit it in the beginning he is now.
For the entire class period he could focus on a single thing that was being said. He worried about Anya and wanted to see her, to explain that his feelings were genuine and that she misunderstood his intentions. He thinks about what couldâve happened today to lead with this. The only thing he remembers is talking to Jimin about those stupid fans in the library. After that he remembers hearing footsteps earlier in the library butâŚ..no that couldnât have been her. She wasnât in the library. But then again he didnât lookâŚâŚ.âfuck.â. Wait the person that ran offâŚâŚcould that have been Anya? He thinks about it for a moment. There was a possibility that it was her and she overheard their conversation. Damnit they werenât even talking about her. How the hell is he supposed to apologize to her now?
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Death. This was absolute death. Anya has never felt this pain before and her heart couldnât take it. If this happened to any other random guy she wouldnât have cared so much, but this was Kook. The same person she would watch when sheâs having a shitty day. The same person who made her confidence go up. This was a new level of depression sheâs never experienced. Lucky for her Haein didnât leave her side the entire day. She still didnât tell Haein what really happened, but then again she hasnât said a word since she witnessed his confession.
âAre you going to work today?â Haein asks but then pauses. âActually never mind that was a stupid question.â
Anya stared blankly at the ceiling. She was exhausted mentally and physically. All she wanted to do was lay down and sleep and never wake up. But every time she closed her eyes she sees him. She basically memorized Jeonâs face from all the times she would stare at him but that was before she knew who he was. That beautiful face was just playing her for his own amusement. A tear escapes her eye again. She doesnât think she can survive this, itâs too much to handle. Especially when her feelings for him were stronger than she thought. Was it love? Or is it something else? Whatever it is she wants it to stop.
âI fucking kill whoever did this to you Anya, Iâm serious.â Haein says clutching the edge of the couch. Anya knew she was serious about that, but she couldnât bring herself to say it was about Kook. Itâs embarrassing, so fucking embarrassing. Not only did she make herself look desperate for him, she also had hope. Too much hope that maybe this would be something good, somethingâŚâŚreal. She already erased any trace of him on her phone. Deleted messages, blocked him and Jimin on the streaming app. She did everything she to forget about him but it wasnât that simple and she knew that. At the end of the day she still goes to school with him and apparently has a class with him. Imagine her in class sitting in front of him and next thing she hears is laughter from him and his friends. âAnya you really thought Iâd like someone as ugly and stupid as you?â No she doesnâtâŚâŚat least not anymore.
~~~~~~~~~~
The drive to Kooks parentâs house was dreadful. He drove in silence the entire time, his mind wandering. He wants to reach out but he doesnât know how. He finds himself checking his phone repeatedly as if sheâd miraculously call him. Frustrated and desperation rises within him, he couldnât care less about his fatherâs birthday right now. The more he thinks about Anya more agitated he gets. He just wanted to talk some sense into her, tell her that he didnât mean for her to over hear his conversation with Jimin. Tell her that she actually means something to himâŚâŚ.something he hasnât felt before.
He pulls up to his old childhood home, usually being here would make him feel nostalgia but all he can feel now was guilt and dread. He watches his brother emerge from the house with another boy next to him. Great more people to talk to.
âJungkook you made it!â Junghyun said running towards his car with the biggest smile on his face. Kook let out a huff of annoyance and relief. One hand he was happy to see his brother okay after his recent accident, but on the other hand he was still upset about the situation with Anya and this is the last place he wanted to be. Before Kook could get out of the car Junghyun was on him in an instant.
âItâs been too long Jungkook.â Junghyun says pulling him in a tight hug. Kook wanted to still be upset but as much as he didnât want to admit it, he needed this. He hasnât seen his brother in months and they used to be glued to the hip until Kook enrolled in college. Him and Kook would always rely on each other for anything, but nowadays theyâve been slightly distant. Kook hugs him back feeling a bit better from how he felt a few seconds ago. Kook missed himâŚ.he really did.
âYeah it hasâŚ..â
âOh I almost forgot to introduce my friend here.â Junghyun motions for the boy to come closer. âThis is my friend Aiden heâs on the football team with me.â
âNice to meet you.â Kook didnât care about his friend to be honest, he just wanted to get this weekend over with. He shakes the Aidenâs hand giving him a small but fake smile.
âHe watches your streams too, heâs totally a fan girl.â Junghyun teasing.
âShut up Iâm not.â Aiden replied feeling a bit embarrassed at the fact that Junghyun wasnât lying.
âHe has a sister around your age that likes your streams too and trust me Jungkook sheâs like mega hot. I think she goes to your university.â
Kook rolled his eyes in annoyance. He didnât want to hear about any other woman except for Anya. âCoolâŚ.whereâs dad?â
âWaiting for you inside. Heâs in the kitchen with mom.â
Kook nods, grabbing his bag and heading towards the front door. He knew as soon as he steps foot in this house his parents will annoy him about his life and streaming. He took a deep breath preparing for the headache thatâs currently forming.
Junghyun watches him walk away.
âWhyâd you mention my sister?â Aiden says playfully shoving him away.
âItâs not my fault Anya is hot.â Junghyun says putting his hands up, surrendering. âDonât get mad at me.â
Jungkook stops in his tracks. Did he just hear what he thought he heard? Aiden isâŚâŚAnyaâs brother?
You were at work, trying to focus on your tasks, but your mind kept wandering back to the events of the previous night. Every time you recalled his touch, his kiss, a wave of heat would wash over you, making your heart race and your body ache with desire.
You tried to shake off the thoughts, to push them away, but it was useless. The memories were too vivid, too powerful, too impossible to ignore. You felt like you were walking around in a constant state of distraction, your thoughts clouded with images of him.
You were at work about to start serving tables until your phone suddenly buzzed with an incoming text message. You picked up the phone, your heart skipping a beat as you saw the unfamiliar number on the screen.
You had finished texting him back, your body still trembling, your mind still racing with thoughts and emotions. Texting him had been a mistake, you knew that, but you couldnât help yourself. That desire feeling rising every second that youâre away from him.
You tried to refocus on your work, but it was hopeless. Your heart was racing, your body a jumble of conflicting desires and wants. Part of you wanted to see him again, to feel his touch, to lose yourself in his world of passion and pleasure.
But part of you knew that getting involved with him would only lead to disaster. You had responsibilities, obligations, a life that didnât even compare to his. You couldnât give in to your desires, no matter how much your body ached for his touch.
You sighed, rubbing your temples. You needed to get a hold of yourself, to re establish your control over your emotions and your body. But it was easier said than done. As long as he kept texting you, as long as he kept reminding you of what youâve done, it would be next to impossible to keep your focus.
And now he was talking about wanting to see you again, his words sending a thrill of anticipation and dread coursing through your body. You knew you should say no, that it would be the sensible thing to do. But at the same time, a part of you wanted to say yes... wanted to feel his touch again, wanted to experience the intensity of your passion once more.
~~~~~~~~
You had managed to make it through the day, your mind and body still in a state of turmoil. But now you were finally home, finally able to relax and unwind. You stripped off your work clothes, relishing the feeling of your soft cotton pajamas against your skin.
You poured yourself a glass of wine and sank into the couch, trying to clear your mind and relax. But your thoughts kept returning to him, to his body, his touch, his voice... you sipped your wine, trying to push the thoughts away, but they wouldnât be ignored.
You closed your eyes, the wine and your imagination working their magic. You pictured him, his body pressed against yours, his hands roaming over your body, his mouth on your skin.
âMmmâŚ.JiminâŚâ you moan. You could feel your body responding to the image, your pulse quickening, your skin growing warm. You let yourself get lost in the fantasy, your body relaxing into the sensations, your mind going blank except for the thoughts of him.
You find your hand wandering down your body, tracing the same path that Jimin's hands had taken. Your fingers brush against your sensitive flesh, and you can't help but gasp, your back arching off the couch. You imagine it's Jimin's hands exploring your body once more, his touch igniting fires within you. You slip a hand, then finger inside, mimicking the feeling of his hardness filling you.
âI canât believe Iâm doing thisâŚâ
As you move your finger in and out, you can feel the heat building within you. You add another finger, stretching yourself, wishing it was Jimin's length inside you.
Your breathing grows heavier, your movements more urgent. You spread your legs wider, lifting your hips to meet your own touch. Your mind is filled with images of JiminâŚ. his smile, his laugh, his face contorted in passion last night. You're so closeâŚ.
With a loud cry, you reach your climax, your body shaking as waves of pleasure wash over you. You collapse back onto the couch, your chest heaving, your hand still buried inside yourself. You finally remove your fingers, lying there in a daze, your mind still consumed by thoughts of Jimin.
âDamn itâŚâ
~~~~~~~~
You were lying in bed, your mind still swirling with thoughts of him. You had been debating whether or not to text him all evening, your fingers hovering over your phone, your heart racing with a combination of desire and trepidation.
You were still holding your phone, deep in thought, when it suddenly vibrated in your hand. You looked at the screen, your breath hitching as you saw his number. He was calling youâŚ.
You hesitated for just a moment, your heart pounding in your chest. Did you want to answer? Did you want to hear his voice again, to get pulled back into his world? But your resistance was already crumbling, your desire taking over her better judgment..
You took a deep breath and answered the call. âHello?â Your voice was shaky, betraying your nerves. You waited for his response, your heart racing in your ears.
His sweet, charming voice came over the line, his tone warm and familiar, sending shivers down your spine. âHey. Iâm glad you answered. Iâve been thinking about you all day.â
Your heart skipped a beat at his words, your body responding instantly to the sound of his voice. You tried to keep your cool, to maintain your composure, but it was a losing battle. He just had this effect on you, this ability to make you weak in the knees with just a few sentences.
âOh yeah?â You managed to reply, your voice casual, as if he hadnât just set your body aflame with a few simple words. âWhat have you been thinking about?â
He chuckled, the sound sending a jolt of heat straight to your core. âYou really want to know?â he said, his tone playful. âIâve been thinking about what happened between us the other night. How good it was⌠How good we were together.â
Your breath caught in your throat at his words, your pulse racing. You remembered the night vividly, the heat, the passion, the intensity. Not to forget what you just did a few moments ago. But you tried to keep your cool, to act like you werenât affected by his words. âOh, that,â you said, forcing a nonchalance into your voice. âThat was⌠niceâŚâ
"Just nice?â he teased, his voice low and velvety. You could hear the smile in his voice, the hint of a challenge. âI would say it was more than just âniceâ... wouldnât you?
You wanted to deny it, to downplay it, but you couldnât. âYeah,â you breathed, your voice barely above a whisper. âIt was⌠more than just niceâŚâ
He chuckled again, his voice full of satisfaction at your response. âI thought so,â he murmured. âYou were so responsive, so eager⌠I couldnât forget it if I tried⌠I still canât stop thinking about it.â
You closed your eyes and nod as if he could see you, a wave of heat washing over you at his words. He was right. You had been completely undone by him, completely lost in the moment. And you couldnât deny that your body still ached for his touch, for the feeling of his skin against yours. âMhmâŚâ
His voice dropping even lower, even silkier. âIâve been aching to touch you again, to have you in my arms⌠To feel your body beneath mineâŚâ
A soft gasp escaped your lips, your body responding instantly to his words. You could feel your heart pounding, your body overheating, your body yearning for his touch, for the relief he had brought you that night. You bit your lip, trying to control your reaction, to keep your thoughts from spiralling out of control.
"But I can't stop thinking about it," he continued, his voice a silky whisper. His words were like a caress, sending shivers down your spine. "I keep remembering the way you sounded, the way you tasted⌠I need to see you againâŚ
You were helpless against his words, your mind a jumble of desire and need. You wanted to see him again too, wanted to feel his touch, his body against yours. But at the same time, you knew you shouldnât, knew it was dangerous to let yourself get sucked back into his world.
He could sense your hesitation, your inner turmoil. âPlease,â he murmured, his voice urgent. âI need to see you. Just for a little while⌠Just for one more nightâŚâ.
The words were like a drug, sending a bolt of need straight to your core. You couldn't resist, couldn't deny what your body was craving. "Just one more night,â you echoed, your voice soft and shaky. Just one night thatâs all.
You could practically hear the smile in his voice as he replied. "Just one more night,â he agreed. âAnd then weâll say goodbye for good⌠just one more nightâŚâ
The words sent a pang of sadness through your chest, but you pushed it away. One more night, thatâs all it would be. One more night of passion and pleasure⌠one more night to fill the void before you went back to your normal life. After tonight you wouldnât have to confess about lying about your statusâŚâŚabout how you snuck into his party just to fulfill your life long dreamâŚ
âWhen can I see you?â he asked, his voice eager. âTonight? Tomorrow night?â
âTonight,â you breathed, your body already thrumming with anticipation. âIâll come over tonightâŚâ
You could hear the hitch in his breath as your response, his own body responding to your eagerness. âBe here in an hour,â he says , his voice thick with desire.
~~~~~~~~~~
You arrived at his house in a haze of anticipation and excitement. The house was large before you, a reminder of his wealth and success. A shiver of nerves went through you as you climbed the steps and rang the buzzer.
A moment later, the door opened and he was there, standing in front of you. Despite your determination to stay in control, all thoughts of restraint fled your mind as soon as you saw him. He was wearing a casual shirt and jeans, but on him, even that simple outfit looked expensive and stylish.
You swallowed, your mouth going dry, as he looked at you up and down, a lazy smile spreading across his face. "Hey there," he said, his voice low and sultry. "You came."
Yeah you did earlierâŚ.thinking about himâŚ.
You nodded, unable to find your voice. Your heart was hammering in your chest, your skin humming with desire. As he stepped aside to let you in, you had to resist the urge to just throw yourself at him right then and there.
He closed the door behind you and led you into the house, his hand lightly touching the small of your back, sending a jolt of electricity through your body. You followed him into the living room, feeling small and out of place in the luxurious surroundings.
He gestured for you to sit on the couch, his eyes roving over you hungrily. You sat down, trying to hide your nerves, but it was impossible under his intense gaze. He sat next to you, his body pressed close to yours, his hand resting on your knee.
He leaned in close, his breath hot against your neck. âYou look amazing,â he murmured. âIâve been thinking about you all day⌠about what we did beforeâŚâ
You shivered, your body responding to his proximity, to the heat of his breath. You couldnât believe how much power he had over you, how easily he could make your melt with just a few words, a few touches.
He moved even closer, his lips brushing against your ear. âDo you remember what we did?â he whispered, his voice sending shivers down your spine. âHow good it felt⌠how good you feltâŚ?â
You nodded, unable to form words. Your body was on fire, your mind a jumbled mess of desire and need. You remembered all too well what you two had done, how he had made you feelâŚ
He smiled against your skin, his hand sliding up your thigh. âIâve been thinking about it all day,â he murmured. âI canât stop thinking about how you looked, how you sounded⌠How you tastedâŚ"
Your breath hitched in your throat as his hand inched higher up your thigh. He was so close, so close to where you wanted him to touch you⌠you were almost shaking with the need to feel his hands on your skin, to experience the pleasure only he could bring you.
He seemed to sense your need, your desperation. He moved his mouth to your neck, placing hot, open-mouthed kisses against your flesh. His hand slid even higher up your thigh, his fingers tracing lazy circles on your skin.
You felt yourself melting at his touch, your body responding to him immediately. Your hands came up to clutch at his shirt, holding onto him tightly as if he was your lifeline. You couldnât think, couldnât speak, your mind consumed by the sensations he was eliciting from your body.
He leaned in even closer, his body pressing against yours, his mouth trailing a path of fire down to your collarbone. His hand was still moving higher, his fingers now slipping under the edge of your skirt.
You moaned softly, your head falling back as he continued his assault on your sensitive skin. You could feel his fingers brushing against the edge of your panties, his touch light and teasing, driving you wild with need.
He nipped at your neck, his teeth gently grazing your flesh. âI need you,â he murmured, his voice rough and urgent. âI need to feel you⌠to taste you⌠â
You didnât need to be convinced. You were lost to him. âPlease,â you whispered, your hands gripping his shirt even tighter than before. âPlease, I need you too⌠â
He seemed to know exactly what he needed to hear. He slid his hand further up your thigh, his fingers finally, finally, slipping beneath the edge of your panties. You gasped, your body arching into his touch. He smiled against your skin, his breath hot and heavy in your earâŚ
He slides his hand under the fabric, his fingers gently stroking your folds. You lean back against him, parting your thighs to give him better access.
You writhe against him, his touch driving you wild. He adds a second finger, his thumb rubbing against your bundle of nerves. Your breath hitches. His voice is husky in your ear, encouraging you to let go. âJust like that.â
He pinches your nipple, sending a jolt of pleasure through you. You moan, grinding against his hand. He adds another finger inside you, his touch becoming more urgent. With his other hand, pushing down your skirt pulling them down your thighs. "Lift up,"
He pulls your skirt and underwear down in one go, urging you to lift up your hips. Once you're free of them, he lifts you onto his lap, your back against his chest. He unzips his own pants, his hardness springing free.
He lifts you by your hips and slowly lowers you onto him. You both moan as he fills you completely. He gives you a moment to adjust before lifting you slightly and lowering you again, setting a steady rhythm. He grinds you down onto him with each thrust, hitting that sweet spot deep inside.
His hands squeeze your backside as he continues to lift and lower you. The sensations are overwhelming, and you find yourself moaning loudly, your head thrown back against his shoulder. He leans down and kisses you, swallowing your moans as he continues to thrust into you.
He reaches one hand around to between your thighs, his fingers finding your most sensitive spot and rubbing in time with his thrusts. The movement of his hips becomes more erratic, his breathing heavier against your neck. He's close too. "Touch yourself,"
You slip a hand down between your bodies, finding where he enters you. You feel the place where your bodies join, the sensation of him moving in and out. Further down, you find your own swollen bud, already aching with need. You begin to rub yourself as he continues to move beneath you.
The combination of sensations is almost too much to bear. You can feel your climax approaching, your entire body tensing up in anticipation. Just when you're about to reach the edge, Jimin stops moving, his breath ragged in your ear. "Look at me,"
You turn your head to look at him, your eyes locked onto his as he slowly starts to move again. The change in angle makes each thrust more intense, and you find yourself biting your lip to keep from screaming. âYouâre so beautiful.âHe leans down to kiss you, his tongue sliding against yours in rhythm with his hips.
The kiss is deep and passionate, his hands gripping your hips tightly as he pulls you down to meet each of his thrusts. You can feel him pulsing inside you, getting closer to his own release. Your fingers move faster on your clit, chasing the pleasure that's just out of reach.
With a final thrust, he buries his face in your neck and finds his release. The feeling of him pulsing inside you sends you over the edge as well, your body convulsing with pleasure. You lean back against him, both of you breathing heavily as you come down from the high.
He wraps his arms around you, holding you close as you both catch your breath. After a moment, he speaks, his voice soft against your ear. "Youâre amazing you know that right? I donât know where youâve been this whole time." He kisses your shoulder tenderly.
You lay in his arms, your body still buzzing with pleasure, but your mind racing with guilt and doubt. You had been so caught up in the moment, in the sensations he had caused you to feel... but now that it was over, you couldn't shake the feeling that you had been lying to him all along. You turned to look at him, your heart heavy in your chest. He was still holding you, his eyes closed, a smile on his face.
You took a deep breath, gathering up courage. âCan I tell you something?â You said softly, your voice shaky. He opened his eyes and looked at you, his smile faltering slightly. You knew you had to be honest with him and yourself, before things get too out of hand. But you couldnât help but catch feelings for him. After all these years, all the times you studied him, learned him, you couldnât keep this facade going forever. He deserves the truth..
âWhat is it?â he asked, his eyes searching yours. You swallowed, your mind racing with conflicting emotions. You had to tell him the truth⌠but how would he react?
âThis is a really nice house you have.â You said unable to be honest with him. You lay there, your mind racing with conflicting emotions. What you two have right now is exactly what youâve been wanting for years and not everyone gets lucky like this. As much as you wanted to be honest you also didnât want to ruin what you have with him.
He lifted his head, looking over at you with a lazy smile. âThanks,â he said, his voice still a little hoarse. âI worked hard to get where I am today⌠I figured I deserved a nice place to call home.â
You nodded, your eyes roaming over the luxurious furnishings and artwork that adorned the room. âItâs a beautiful house,â you said, almost envious of the lifestyle he was able to afford. âYouâve done well for yourself. I guess being an idol paid off.â
He chuckled, his hand tracing a lazy pattern on your stomach. âYeah, I guess it did,â he said, his eyes roaming over your body. âIâm lucky to have made a good living doing what I love. What about you? What do you do?â
You shifted uncomfortably on the couch, your mind racing to come up with a believable response. You âd been lying to him this entire time, hiding the truth about your life and your job⌠How could you possibly tell him now?
He looked at you expectantly, waiting for you to respond. Your heart was pounding in your chest, your mind struggling to come up with a believable response. You knew he assumed you were some kind of celebrity, someone important and successful like he was⌠How could you tell him the truth? That you were just a waitress at a small, run-down diner, struggling to make ends meet.
âI, uh, Iâm in the entertainment industry,â you said, hating how the words sounded as they left your mouth. You knew you were lying, but what other choice did you have? You couldnât tell him the truth, couldnât let him know how much their lives differed from one another.
He seemed surprised, curious. âThe entertainment industry?â he repeated, his eyebrows raising slightly. âThatâs cool. What do you do, exactly?â
You panicked for a moment, your mind drawing a blank. Youâd never felt more caught in your lies than in that moment. âUh, you know⌠acting, singing, that sort of thing,â you said, hoping he would buy the vague answer.
He looked impressed, his eyes scanning over your form. âYouâre an actor?â he asked, his voice filled with awe. His hand traced a path up your arm, his fingers dancing lightly over your skin. âI should have guessed⌠You have that look about you, the look of someone destined for stardomâŚâ
You shivered at his touch, your body responding to the compliment even as your mind was filled with guilt. You didnât deserve his praise, his admiration. The only thing you did was serve greasy food to grumpy customers and dance on stage for drunken men.
âWanna shower?â
You were jerked out of your thoughts by his question, your heart skipping a beat. You realized how much of a mess you must look right now, your hair mussed, your clothes wrinkled⌠Part of you wanted to accept his offer, to wash away the evidence of what you two had just done.
You also knew that if you followed him into the shower, there was no telling what would happen. You would be alone with him, completely naked and vulnerable⌠you were already struggling to control your feelings for him, to resist the pull he had over you⌠you werenât sure you could trust yourself to resist him if you two were together, skin to skin.
You managed to nod, forcing a casual smile onto your face. âYeah, a shower sounds niceâŚâ you said, your voice a little shaky. âLead the way.â
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âOkay now add three eggs into the bowl.â Kook instructed.
âKook this is ridiculous. You canât teach me how to cook over the phone.â Anya says.
âYouâre right itâd be better if I come over right?â He teases.
Anya blushes, her cheeks warming at the sensation of his words. She knew he was just teasing her but after a few days of talking to him on the phone and him teasing her on his stream, she couldnât help but catch more feelings for him. Yes it sounds ridiculous but how can she not catch feelings for him? The way he talks to her makes her think that maybeâŚâŚjust maybe he feels the same way. He already seems pretty comfortable with her, right? Anya isnât a mind reader and she doesnât know if his flirting is harmless or something more. How could she even know? He flirts with a lot of fans and who knows what if she isnât the only person he talks toâŚ
âThereâs no way Iâm giving you my address, Iâll have to call in a special police unit to get you out.â
Kook smirks. âTrust me if you did give me your address the last thing on your mind would be the police.â
Anya quirked an eyebrow. âAnd why is that?â
âBecauseâŚ..youâll be too distracted by me and Iâll be distracted by you..â he murmured. Whatever heâs trying to doâŚ.is definitely working.
âWhat makes you think that?â
Kook hums. âI donât thinkâŚ.I knowâŚ..thereâs a difference. Iâm pretty confident you will.â
Anya puts down the bowl in her hand. She completely stops doing what sheâs doing. The only thing she can focus on is what heâs saying to her and how she can picture it.
âWhy? Because everyone is head over heels for you? What if Iâm not?â
âAre you?â
That took her by surprise. She didnât expect him to turn the question back on her.
âWhat?â
âAre you attracted to me?â Kook asks. âWhat do you like about me?â
âIâŚ..Iâm not.â Liar. Sheâs a complete liar.
He chuckled on the other end. âWell what if Iâm attracted to you?â Kook couldnât hold back anymore. It was like a switch flipped inside of him. All these lingering feelings he had and couldnât understand were piling up. He wanted to know where her feelings stood. To make sure what heâs experiencing isnât one sided. Deep down he already knew but he wanted her to say it out loud. He wanted to hear her admit itâŚâŚto confirm it.
There was a long pause before she spoke.
âYouâre just saying that. Iâm not stupid.â She had to believe that. She had to be prepared for the worst. There was no way he could actually like her. He doesnât even know what she looks like. This could just be him teasing her once again.
He could sense her hesitation. So sheâs insecure? Is that it? Does she have not one ounce of confidence in her? âWell youâre being stupid now.â He wanted to reassure her. Tell her that she doesnât need to feel insecure because Kook actually feels something for her. He couldnât admit it out loud but he did want her to know somehow. âItâs not impossible for me to be attracted to you, you know that right?â
Yes it is impossible. Heâs Kook and Anya isâŚ.Anya. Sheâs not the best looking person in the world and she doesnât have the best looking body either. What if he sees her in person for the first time and he changes his mind? That would break her and she wasnât strong enough for that.
âYou donât even know what I look like Kook.â
âActually about thatâŚ..I saw-â Kook felt is phone vibrating in his ear. Damnit why the hell is his mom calling him? Now isnât the time. He runs his fingers through his hair trying to calm down his frustration. âMy mom is calling me.â He sighs frustrated. Way to ruin the moment mom.
âYou should answer it I have to clean up this mess anyway.â Thank god for the distraction. She couldnât take that anymore.
âIâm texting you later, you better answer me okay?â
âYeah yeah bye.â
Kook smiles at her nonchalant response. After she hangs up he accepts the call from his mother. âMom?â
âJungkook honey when are you coming home? Your fatherâs birthday is in a few days.â
Shit. He completely forgot about that. Itâs not his fault. âAâ has been taking up too much space in his brain for him to think of anything else. There was no way out of this. His mom would force him to go even though him and his father arenât as close as they used to be. Regardless thatâs still his father and he just had to suck it up and get this over with.
âUh yeah mom I remember..â
âGood make sure you get here by Friday night. Donât forget anything.â
âDo I have to come over? Iâm busy with work and school. Itâd be a hassle to drive all the way there.â
âYes you havenât came by the house in ages. Iâm sure your brother misses you too.â
Kook sighs. He had no choice but to go. Even though he rather stay here and finish talking with âAâ. âOkay mom Iâll head there Friday.â
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Later that night Kook goes on stream.
âHey guys ready to finish the game from last week?â
âOh yeah Iâm definitely beating the game today. As long as I have the support of my biggest fan âAâ.
Anya smiles. He hasnât done a stream yet without mentioning her in someway. It makes her feel special and known. Out of all his viewers he always talks about her. He does it so much that even some viewers know her. In a way it feels as if heâs claiming her. Making sure her attention is always on himâŚâŚobviously it is.
She places her phone next to sink and listens to his gameplay as she washes dishes. By the way she failed terribly at Kookâs attempt to teach her how to properly cook a meal. Measuring isnât her thing. She continues to wash the dishes until she hears a ring at her door. âHm?â Who could that be this late?
She dries her hands and walks towards the door. Once she opens it she sees Haein. âHey Anya.â Haein walks in making herself feel at home as usual. Anya looked at Haein suspiciously. She never comes over this late unless sheâs drunk, but she looks fine right now.
âWhat are you doing here so late?â Anya asks closing and locking the door behind her.
Haein walks in the kitchen and hears Kookâs stream being played. She scoffs. âWhat do we have here?â Haein reaches for Anya phone.
âAre you drunk again Haein?â Anya grabs her phone. âWhat happened?â
Haein goes through her fridge looking for something and anything to eat. âI only had like three shots Anya itâs not a big deal.â She grabs a bowl of grapes in the fridge. âI didnât want to walk all the way home.â
âOkay understandable but next time a text would suffice.â Anya grabs a glass and fills it with water. âYou need to hydrate.â
Haein shoves the grapes in her mouth. âYouâre too good to me Anya.â She mumbled. âI love you.â
Anya smiles softly as she hands her the glass. âLove you too. Now here drink.â
Haein shakes her head. âNo I love youâŚ..LoveâŚ
Love you.â
âI know love you too. Gosh how much did you drink?â
Haein looks at her phone. Kookâs stream playing in the background. âUgh why him?â She eats more grapes, protesting to drink the water. âHeâs all you care aboutâŚâ
Anya was confused. What was she talking about? âYouâre drunk Haein put the grapes down.â Anya takes the bowl away. âCome on let me help you lay down.â
Haein follows her to the living room. Flopping on the couch with a groan. âYou love himâŚ..â she mumbles again.
âI donât love Kook.â Anya grabs a blanket to wrap around her. âHowâs that? Are you comfortable?â
Instead of responding Haein just nods. The alcohol clearly effecting her. As Anya gets up she felt hands around her wrist. âHm?â Anya hums. It looked like Haein was about to say something. âWhatâs wrong?â
Haein mumbles.
âI canât hear you.â
âIâŚâŚ..IâŚlove youâŚ..more than-â she passed out.
Anya chuckled. Who knew she was this affectionate when sheâs drunk. Anya walks towards her room after turning the lights off in the living room. As she enters her phone is still playing Kookâs stream. Before she could get comfortable to watch it he ends it. She was too busy helping Haein she ended up missing the live. Anya lays down with a heavy sigh. She didnât want to miss his voice. If it was up to her sheâd listen to him all day every second. She really liked him. So much.
She debates if she should call him but before she could come up with a decision he calls her first. She smiles and puts the phone to her ear. âHave fun on stream?â
âI want to see you.â Kook says with a serious tone in his voice. He wasnât teasing her. He was absolutely serious.
âWhat?â Anya says sitting up properly. Did she hear that right? He wants to see her? Why? Where is this coming from?
âLook I normally donât have any problems when it comes to getting what I want. Especially from women, but youâre different and itâs driving me crazy.â He sighs. He couldnât believe he wanted someone this badly. He doesnât know why heâs holding back. During the entire stream he couldnât even focus on the game, his mind too distracted with the thoughts of her. He knew she was watching and that made something in him stir. After days of texting and talking on the phone he wanted to meet her. He couldâve played the âtough guyâ act but he was far over it.
Anya takes a deep breath. Okay this is actually happening. His feelings were genuine. He likes her. He wants her. She isnât delusional and she isnât dreaming. Okay Anya donât mess this up. âYouâŚ..like me? So Iâm not being delusional about this?â
Kook felt confused. She thought she was being delusional? No sheâs not at all. If anything he thought he was the delusional one. âNo you arenât.â
âAnya. My name is Anya.â
âAnya.â He repeats out loud. It sounded so good coming out of his mouth, like heâs meant to say it. The way it rolled off his tongue so easily. He couldnât think of a more beautiful name. âIâm JungKook.â
âJungkook.â She also repeated. KookâŚâŚ.Jungkook. So thatâs where Kook came from. The name suited him well and now sheâs going to be obsessed with saying it.
âI umâŚ.â Kook hesitates but then he thinks how heâs already came this far so why stop now? âI really want to meet youâŚâŚIn person.â
âMe too.â She admits. God if only he knew how much she thinks about him on a daily basis. âI feel the same way.â
Kook could feel his heart racing. He couldnât think about anything other than the sound of her voice. She was so close yet so far. âGod I justâŚ.theres so many things I want to say to youâŚ..toâŚdo things to you.â He couldnât hold back anymore. His body was on fire. His mouth moving on its own.
âI donât think you understand. Iâll literally do anything you tell me to.â Itâs true. Kook could ask her to jump off a cliff and sheâll ask how high. He didnât even know the power he had over her. Sheâs completely and utterly at his mercy.âAnythingâŚâ
Kook could feel a wave of desire wash over him. Fuck! He needed more. Needed to know she wanted this just as badly as he did. âFuckâŚ..â he mumbles trying to find his voice. âI have to visit my parents house Friday but as soon as I come back home Iâll find you.â He promises. âWeâre going to meet up somewhere, Iâll pick you up, Iâll cook a proper meal for you and after that wellâŚ..âŚ.I guess youâll have to find out.â
Anya smiles at the thought. She really wanted him and sheâs relieved he feels the same. âOh yeah?â
âYeah.â He bites his lower lip, his tongue playing with his lip piercing.
Anyaâs heart fluttered. This is probably the best thing thatâs ever happened to her. She had the guy of her dreams confessing to her. Is this real? Was this a dream?
âIâll see you this weekend yeah?â
âYeah. This weekend.....â
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Friday morning Kook walks in school feelingâŚâŚ..excited for once. Heâs so close to seeing âAââŚâŚwell Anya in person again. Heâs really tempted to just walk up to her since he knows what she looks like already, but whereâs the fun in that? He knew she wanted him just as much as he wanted her. The only thing is that she doesnât know what he looks like and that gives Kook a sense of confidence in himself. Heâs not insecure he knows heâs hot and once she sees him for the first time sheâll drool over him.
As he walks the halls his eyes scans the crowd looking for a familiar face. She has to be here somewhere right? He pulls out his phone to attempt to message her until he felt someoneâs arm around his shoulder. He looks to the left to see Jimin. Ugh what did he want? They live together and Jimin is still just as clingy.
âWhat?â Kook mumbles. He doesnât speak loudly to prevent anyone hearing his voice, you know because of his crazy fans. If they recognize him here of all places it wouldnât be good.
âI need to talk to you about âAâ. Jimin says and that made Kookâs eyes widen. Jimin had his complete and full attention.
Jimin leads Kook into the library. Itâs not many people here so they can talk freely. They both walk towards the back away from prying eyes.
âWhat happened?â Kook says with a hint of worry in his voice.
âYou know how youâve gotten a lot of attention from your flirting with âAâ?â
Kook nods confused. What did that have to do with anything?
âWell other people are messaging me privately to get your attention, and itâs exhausting.â
âWhat are you talking about?â
Jimin pulls out his phone. âLook at this girl. She keeps asking about you and she getting desperate.â
This is why Kook has mods. The fans can get too much for him to handle. He didnât understand how someone can just willingly be so horny over someone theyâve never seen before. It was weird and sick. âFucking weirdos. Texting everyday over me and now you? Sometimes I wish messaging us wasnât available.â
âYou flirt a lot too so thatâs why she thinks she has a chance with you. Itâs embarrassing really.â Jimin shakes his head. âIâm debating on just turning off my DMâsâ
âYeah I flirt but it doesnât mean anything. Itâs just for fun and views. I donât actually mean it.â He canât have all these weirdos texting him not when heâs trying to get with âAâ. They were ruining his chances significantly.
As the two of them talk they hear footsteps retreating away from them. Kook pokes his head out to follow the sound and all he saw was the back of someone running out. Just great another fan probably heard him talking. âGosh I swear I canât do anything.â
Jimin sighs. âYou need to handle this before you start getting stalkers.â
âYeah Iâll handle it.â And he will definitely handle it. He canât let these weirdos ruin his life. Kook pulls out his phone expecting a text or a call from Anya but thereâs nothing. She probably overslept again. He opens his messages to text her.
No response.
Still nothingâŚ
Kook thinks for a moment. She always responds around this time. She would complain about being late for school in the past so why isnât she answering?
The weekend rolled by in a blur. Kook spent the entire time working out and debating on what to say to âAâ. He didnât understand why itâs taking him this long to message her, but every time he attempts to type out a message he deletes it. And this pisses him off. Why the hell is he so hesitant? The more he thinks about how ridiculous heâs being the more frustrated he becomes and when heâs frustrated he needs to fuck. Itâs the only healthy outlet he can think of.
He calls Yuna only to be left with her voicemail. Is she serious? This is the second time this month that this has happened. Whatâs the point of a fuck buddy when sheâs almost never available? He throws his phone on his bed thinking of something to do to get his mind off of things. He looks at his monitor and thinks if he should stream. Maybe he could tease âAâ a little bit. So thatâs exactly what he does. As he streams and looks over at the comments he feels a sense of pride knowing that âAâ is somewhere in there watching him. Sheâs probably shaking in her boots as he speaks.
âOh? You all seen my instagram story?â He chuckles. âWhat can I say? The letter âAâ just might be my favorite letter now.â
Yeah thatâll get her for sure. He would love to see her reaction to his words. He knows for a fact that heâs getting her worked up over this, and he loves it.
Meanwhile Anya was sleeping. She stayed up late the whole weekend trying to convince herself that Kook isnât interested in her. Heâs just doing fan service, but Anya catches herself practically stalking his instagram account. She canât help but picture what he could look like. Is he tall? Heâs definitely muscular by the way he talks about how much he works out. What color are his eyes? What does his smile look like? She lets out a sigh and takes a deep breath, her mind going overdrive. It was now almost 4:00am she should rest but every time she closes her eyes she pictures a faceless man hovering over her.
âMmm youâre dreaming about me?â
She hears a familiar voice. The voice she can pick out from a crowd of people. Her subconscious mind creating the illusion of Kook in her dreams. She follows the voice in her dreams, the sound echoed through her mind.
âAâŚ..â
âKookâŚ.â She finds herself in the darkness with a single light in the distance. As she walks towards the light she sees a tall figure in the middle. His back was faced away from her. Was that Kook? What did he want? She stops behind him and takes a deep breath. Who could this be?Hesitantly she taps his shoulder and a familiar face turns to her.
âJeon?â She said confused. Why is he here? Where did Kook go? Jeon opens his mouth to speak but before she could hear his voice she wakes up to a notification from her phone. âWhat the hell?â What kind of dream was that? She stretches and looks over at the time. Damn she really slept in late. She reached for her phone and checks the notification.
Her heart stops.
~~~~~~~~~~~
Kook ends the stream satisfied with the amount of flirting he did. For some reason Kook really enjoys this. He pictures a faceless girl blushing like a child at his words. Itâs like doing fan service, but since when did he have this much fun doing it? Maybe itâs because the way âAâ is so bold. First she praises him and then sheâs calling him cocky. Sheâs different and Kook likes it. He always had a thing for girls who stood up for themselves. It was hot. Most women in his case would drop to their knees if he gave them a glance. It was flattering of course but it gets boring over time.
Kook stands up and walks into the living room with a satisfied smile on his face. He sees Jimin scrolling on his phone, he clears his throat trying to get his attention.
âLet me guessâŚâŚshe called me an asshole?â Kook says flopping next to Jimin. âNo no thatâs too easy. Mmm she called me a dick didnât she?â
Jimin looks at him with a confused expression. âWhat are you talking about?â
Kook huffs out a laugh. Now of all times Jimin was to play dumb. Kook isnât stupid. âWhat did she tell you this time?â
âWho?â Jimin says furrowing his eyebrows. Kook rolls his eyes, tiring of playing this stupid guessing game.
âA, I know she texted you while I was on stream. So what did she say this time?â
âShe didnât text me. I donât even think sheâs online.â Kookâs smile falls. What? She didnât even see the stream? Sheâs always in his streams, sheâs a fan. Why the hell wasnât she there to see him flirt with her? âI gave you her username why donât you just text her and ask yourself.â
Thatâs true he does have her username. Why the hell didnât she join the live? Thatâs a reasonable question to ask her, isnât it? After days of not knowing what to say to her he seems like this is a good way to start. So he grabs his phone and goes to message her.
Kook?! He texted her?! How did he even manage to get her information? Anya blinks a few times to make sure this isnât a dream. Kook actually texted her. Okay okay she needs to relax and just reply back before he loses interest.
Wow heâs persistent. Who knew he was this straight forward. Oh right Anya knew, because she knew almost everything about him.
Kook grins at his phone. A feeling of excitement in his eyes. She sure didnât hold back. He expected her to be fangirling over him maybe even apologizing to him, but nope sheâs just the same. Kook gets up from his spot next to Jimin and goes into his room to finish the conversation with âAâ.
Kook flops on his bed smiling once again at his phone, loving the reaction heâs getting from her.
Anya was slightly still freaking out, but she really liked the attention sheâs getting from him. He went out of his way to privately text her just because she overslept and missed his live. Does he do this with his other fans? Why text her privately? Does he care? Anya shakes her head and just decides to be in this moment with him. Who knows when this will happen again.
Kook stays up all night texting back and forth with âAâ itâs almost 2:00am and he never stays up this late, especially when he has classes tomorrow morning. But Kook didnât want to stop. He wanted to make sure he had her undivided attention since she missed his live. Maybe he likes the attention or maybe itâs something else, he doesnât know what yet. Eventually exhaustion catches up to him and he falls asleep and lucky for him so does âAâ. He falls asleep feeling satisfied and a sense of peace. It was a new and weird feeling that Kook wasnât used to and he doesnât want it to stop.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A few hours turned into a few days of straight texting back and forth with Kook. Anya didnât expect this to last this long. She definitely didnât expect this to feel so easy. Talking to him feels so comfortable and relaxed despite his cockiness. Even that didnât annoy her like she thought it might. Sheâs been so attached to texting Kook she completely forgets about JeonâŚâŚuntil he bumps into her on the way to class. Her head was down looking at her phone replying back to a stupid gif Kook sent her, before she could send her message she feels her shoulder bump into someone elseâs. She looks up to be face to face with Jeon. Sheâs never been this close to him before and she immediately panics.
âI-Iâm so sorry IâŚ.I wasnât paying attentionâŚâ she says looking at anything but those pretty doe eyes. Gosh they look even better up close. He looks at her with a nonchalant expression. Is he mad? Angry? Annoyed? In love? Just kidding heâs not in love. Anya couldnât read his expression so she feels like she should leave. âIâm really sorry.â She says taking a step back, but she bumps into someone else. The small gap that separated her and Jeon was immediately closed up. As she was just about to fall he catches her by her waist. Her hands landing on his shoulders. Then she does the thing she shouldnât have. She looks up. Her eyes meeting his in a heated gaze.
âAre-âŚ..â he whispers but stops himself. Sheâs never heard him speak and she couldnât hear him whispering with the loud background. The two of them stay like this until Anya pulls away feeling way too delusional right now.
âI-Iâm sorry again IâŚI umâŚ.â She takes a deep breath stilling her nerves. Come on Anya donât embarrass yourself in front of the hottest guyâŚ..ever. She reaches a hand out. âUh hi my name is-
âHey.â A beautiful girl says as she walks up towards Jeon, putting her hand with his. Anya recognizes herâŚ..Itâs YunaâŚâŚprobably the most beautiful girl in the entire school. Of course theyâre dating. It makes sense after all. Hot guy, hot girl theyâre a power couple. Anya pulls her hand away, feeling stupid for attempting to introduce herself. What did she think would happen? âoh hey Iâm Anya Iâve seen you before in class and youâre really hot, wanna get married?â It was stupid and Anya feels embarrassed. She tries to hide her disappointment not wanting to look like a pathetic loser in front of them. âSorry againâŚ..um bye.â She walks away in the different directions not evening knowing where sheâs supposed to go.
Kook watches her leaving feeling a pang of sympathy towards the girl. Something about her seems familiarâŚâŚLost in thought he feels Yuna grabbing his wrist and pulling him in the nearest empty classroom. She closes the door and locks it behind her. âWe have about 30 minutes to ourselves.â She steps closer pushing him against the desk. âIâm in the moodâŚâŚyou look really hot today.â
Kook groans in frustration. âWell Iâm not.â To be honest ever since heâs been messaging âAâ he hasnât been frustrated enough to fuck Yuna, or horny. Him and Yuna havenât fucked in a week and he didnât even care to notice.
Yuna scoffs not believing him for a second. âYeah rightâŚ.â She starts to undo his jacket and he grabs her wrist holding it firm.
âIâm not in the fucking mood.â He drops her wrist moving towards the door, but before he can exit she stops him. A look of determination on her face.
âWhatâs your deal?â
His deal? His deal is that he didnât want to fuck her. Especially not in the empty classroom and most importantly not while he had someone else on his mind.
âI just said Iâm not in the fucking mood. I have work today anyways so move.â Kook lied heâs off work today but he needed to get out of here. He waited for her to get out of his way and after what feels like eternity she finally moves with a frustrated sigh.
âWhat am I supposed to do now?â
âDonât care figure it out.â With that Kook walks out leaving Yuna alone in the classroom. Once heâs in the hallways he scans the crowd hoping to find that girl from earlier. He didnât get to formally apologize and he really did feel bad. She looked familiar. He mustâve seen her in one of his classes but he doesnât know which one. He makes a mental note to apologize to her next time he sees her.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After the embarrassing encounter Anya had with Jeon she goes home. She thinks back at the way he looked up close. Heâs eyes, his lip piercing, his eyebrow piercing, even his detailed tattoos. Sighing she walks into the kitchen to heat up a frozen dinner. As she rips off the plastic her phone dings. She looks at the notification and sees itâs from Kook. A small smile appears on her face as she opens the message.
He stops replying as Anya puts her food in the microwave. She waits for the three bubbles to pop up but they donât. Before she could text him again her phone rings. Itâs him. Heâs calling herâŚ
Her heart pounds, her palms are sweating, what does she do? Does she ignore him? What if he gets uninterested. She doesnât want to lose his attention but-
âHello?â He says on the other line. When did she even answer the phone? âYou there?â
She clears her throat stilling her voice. âHey yeah Iâm here. I uh didnât expect you to call.â
He was quiet for a moment. A long moment. Did he hang up? Did she sound like a man? Was he busy? Oh god this is so embarrassing. What does she even do in this situation?
Kook recognizes that voice. Didnât he hear it today?âŚâŚâŚThat girl! The one who bumped into him right? It had to be her. No it was her. They had the same quiver in their voice. Yes itâs herâŚâŚand Kook didnât expect for her to sound likeâŚâŚ.home? He already gotten used to texting her and teasing her but he didnât have a face or a voice to go off of this whole time. Now he does. He seen her in person. They go to the same school. She close to him, and she doesnât even know it.
âUm Kook?â
He snaps out of his thoughts. He needs to keep his composure.
âYou sound exactly how I thought you would.â
Anya blushes. God heâs doing something to her and she canât get enough. âWhat does that supposed to mean exactly?â
Kook smiles at her sassy response. âExactly what it means, itâs cute alright?â It was more than cute, but he didnât want her to know that. Kook smiles back to their reaction from earlier today. The way she looked when she bumped into him. If he knew she was âAâ he wouldâve paid more attention to her physical appearance. But all he could focus on at that time was her eyesâŚ..those glossy beautiful eyes. He couldâve sworn he saw a whole galaxy in them. Was that cringey? Heâs never cared this much about someone, let alone her eyesâŚâŚHe clears his throat pushing away those weird thoughts. As he was about to speak he hears beeping on the other lineâŚâŚis that a microwave?
âWhat are you eating?â Kook ask trying to change the topic.
âOh I have a frozen meal in the microwave. Let me grab it real quick.â
He scoffs on the other line. Frozen meal? Thatâs all sheâs eating? âYou do know how unhealthy those are right? Youâre killing yourself with those.â
âI canât cook so these are always a good option.â
âYou canât live off those forever. You need home cooked meals.â Kook stated. Is she seriously eating nothing but instant noodles? Does she not have anyone in here life to cook for her? He wanted to know. He wanted to know everything about her and more, but he didnât want to come off as desperate because he isnâtâŚâŚâŚyep definitely not desperate.
âWell if I cook Iâll burn my house down and I canât have that-â
âIâll cook for you.â Kook said out loud. Shit! He meant to say that in his head but his mouth moved faster. Thereâs no turning back now he might as well go with it.
âYou can cook?â Anya asks.
âObviously I can pretty much do everything and you eating packaged food is screaming âKook please save me Iâm completely helplessâ. He grins. It was true. She obviously doesnât have anyone to make sure sheâs eating well, kook might as well do it.
âWow youâre really ignorant you know that?â
âHey donât call me when youâre in the hospital for food poisoning or something because of all the processed food you eat.â
âOkay I wonât.â
Kook scoffs. Sheâs a stubborn one, but he doesnât want to give up. He wants to crack those walls she has built up.
âWhat kind of fan doesnât listen to their idol.â
Anya laughs on the other end. âMy idol? You want me to bow down at your feet and submit to you or something?â
âMmm submit to me huhâŚ.â Her saying that made a heat rush through him. He can imagine it. Her fully submitted to him and just him. Is it weird for him to be feeling this way for a girl he just met. Something about this situation makes him feelâŚâŚ..god something so different. He wants to know what it is and if she feels it too.
After class Kook heads to the gym for his afternoon workout. Heâs not complete if he doesnât work out at least four times a week. Itâs just what heâs used to. As he finishes up his last set he gets a call from Yuna. He sets down his dumbbells and removes his gloves. âYeah?â He says taking a seat on the bench.
âCome over.â She didnât ask it was more of a demand. âI was busy yesterday but Iâm free now.â
âYeah I know. Iâll be over after the gym.â He hangs up and goes back to his session. He hasnât fucked in almost four days now and he definitely needed to get it out of his system today. To be honest he could call anyone else to have just as a backup, but he doesnât just fuck anyone. Not with all these STDâs going around. Heâs very strict about where he puts his dick. He had a few one night stands here and there when he goes out partying, but he needs to have someone on standby. Whenever he feels horny they need to available and Yuna usually is. Some women in the past couldnât handle him in the bedroom. Sometimes he does go overboard but thatâs only because heâs a man with needs. His biggest rule is to never fuck virgins. He learned his lesson before when this girl became so dick whipped he had to actually lie to her about having a girlfriend. It worked for the most part.
After his workout he leaves and goes straight to Yunaâs house. Lucky for him she didnât live far and he couldnât wait to get to her. Maybe he was addicted. Not to Yuna just to sex in general.
He walks in without knocking and sees her sitting on the couch scrolling on her phone. âGotta shower first.â He announces as he walks off to the back of the house to freshen up from being in the gym. He strips off his clothes and gets under the hot water. The water relaxing his muscles from his intense workout session. He hears the bathroom door open and sees Yunaâs body outline from behind the shower curtain. She takes a step closer pulling back the curtain to reveal Kook standing there naked and wet.
âDid you miss me yesterday?â She ask stripping her clothes to join him. She had hot body to be fair itâs just when opens her mouth thatâs when the headache forms. He rather see her mouth opening for his dick not for useless words Kook didnât care about.
âNot really.â He say bluntly as he washes himself. âI just wanted to fuck thatâs all.â
âI know I know I got caught up with work, but I can make it up to you.â She steps in the shower standing in front of him. âYou look tense. Or are you just horny.â
âBoth.â He replied.
She kneels down in front of him. The shower water soaking her face. Kook grins as a thought crossed his mind. He plans to destroy her tonight, but first heâd let her make it up to him. Technically itâs her fault for not being available when he needed her in the first place.
âI think itâs time you put that mouth to use.â
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Anya was exhausted. A day of nonstop lectures and class work. And to make matters worse she had to work a double today because her co worker got sick. No one likes doing double especially after a long day of school. She works in retail at a local thrift store. Itâs not a hard job and itâs hardly ever busy. She just didnât want to spend the day here when she could be in the comfort of her own home preparing for Kookâs stream later today.
She goes through the same motions as she works. When the door rings she looks up searching for a customer to help her out of her boredom, but instead she sees her best friend.
âHey Anya you look bored.â Haein says taking a seat next to her behind the counter. Haein always made herself comfortable no matter where she is. I guess thatâs expected after being best friends since middle school. Haein was very rebellious. Sheâs the type to prank you with hot sauce in your underwear. Itâs was concerningâŚâŚyes but sheâs not a bad person. Her tomboy appearance makes her very intimidating to other people and Anya always feels safe with her. One time Haein tracked down all the bullies that said and did horrible things to Anya and she slept with their dadâs. She recorded it and blackmailed them until they finally left Anya alone. Yeah Haein is definitely somethingâŚ.
âYeah this sucks. I just want to go home and-
âWatch Kook yeah I know.â Haein cuts her off. âYou can always rewatch it later right?â
Anya shakes her head in disbelief. Technically she could but why would she do that? Sheâs never missed a stream and she doesnât plan on it. The last thing she needed was for someone to think sheâs obsessed with him when she isnât. Heâs just her comfort when she wants to feel relaxed and chill after a long day. So itâs not strange that she wants to make sure she doesnât miss a single second of it. âNo I rather watch him live. Itâs better that way.â
Haein laughs as she hits her vape. âYeah I think I get what youâre saying.â Haein looks at Anya. âYou cut your hair?â
Anya blushes slightly. It wasnât a big deal she just wanted a change in her appearance thatâs all. She nervously strokes the freshly cut ends.âUm y-yeah I had too many dead ends anyway.â
âYou look pretty.â Haein smiles as she strokes her hair. Her eyes full of affection and a hint of something else. Anya didnât know whatâŚ.
âItâs nothing Haein.â Anya say grabbing her phone avoiding eye contact. She didnât do well with receiving compliments, it always made her feel like she didnât deserve to hear it and it made her uncomfortable and weird.
Haein looks at her silently before standing up. âIâll grab us some snacks.â With that she walks out the store. Anya scrolls on her phone going through Instagram when she got a notification. Itâs time for Kookâs stream. He started it a bit earlier than usual. Quickly she grabs her headphones and connects them to her phone.
âWhatâs up guys missed me? Yeah I know you did. Iâve been thinking about you guys all day.â He laughs at the comments. âAh thatâs right you all can thank our beautiful viewer âAâ.
âHey âAâ I hope youâre watching this baby because this is for you. Iâm glad you look up to someone like me. You have good taste. And now that I think about itâŚâŚ..maybe one day youâll be able to actually get a taste of me in person, hm?â
What. The. Fuck. No that didnât happen. The stream literally just started. Could she be hallucinating? Is this a dream? Is he high? Whatâs going on? Surely he wasnât talking about her right? Nope she wouldnât believe it. Thereâs no way.
âMmm âAâ I wonder what that stands for. Donât worry if I ever see you in person Iâd make sure you tell me. Youâre my biggest fan after all right? Makes me wanna reward you âAââŚâŚin a special way.â
Anya dropped her phone.
âNah I donât think she can handle me. Iâm not an easy person to handle.â He mumbles with a grin on the microphone. âIf you want me âAââŚâŚ.go ahead and have me then.â
Why did he whisper like that in the last sentence? Why did he reply? Why is he flirting with her? Why is he so goddamn sexy? His voice alone could get millions of women pregnant. Anyaâs heart pounds so loud sheâs sure she can hear it. How can he have the audacity to be so straight forward like that? Especially in front of all these viewers. And the way it sounded he thinks this is funny. Oh so itâs funny to embarrass her like that in front of all his viewers? Well technically they donât know who she was but still she has a right to be upsetâŚâŚ.okay okay fine sheâs not really mad but she needs to be just to make sense of what just happened. Any emotion is fine right now other than complete shock, so she chose anger. What other emotion would be appropriate? She doesnât know what came over her but she immediately textâs JMochi.
âDid you see what he just said?! Is he always this straightforward?!? Who does he think he is!? Oh my god this so embarrassing.â
JMochi: đ
HeâsâŚâŚ.laughing? He straight up sent a laughing emoji. What about this situation is funny? Is he just as smug as he was? Is this all some sort of joke?
JMochi: yep heâs just the same in person. Whatâs the problem donât you like the way he flirts with you? Come on I know deep down you do.
âItâs about having a little bit of respect. Itâs just very cocky of him.â
JMochi: thatâs Kook for you.
âWell tell him to shove his cocky attitude up his assâ
Oh no did she really say that? It just came out of nowhere. Sheâs worked up and high off adrenaline, she didnât mean to be so blunt. Sheâs no better than him. Anya mentally slaps herself for getting so worked up.
JMochi: oh I will
âNo no itâs okay that was rude of me I shouldnât have said that.â
JMochi: no he needs to hear someone else tell him how much of an ass he is sometimes. Iâll relay the message.
She sat there in shock. One thing about Anya is that she isnât rude or ignorant, but sometimes thereâs a switch inside of her that she forgets to turn off sometimes when sheâs feeling overwhelmed. Itâs like a coping mechanism. When she feels anxious or overwhelmed sheâll find some way to become defensive or upset, because in Anyaâs mind sheâs mostly right. Mostly. But she didnât want Kook to think she was this childish and immature teenage girl who has an online crush on him. Thatâs so embarrassing and she didnât want to make it seem-
âOh so it looks like our dear viewer âAâ thinks Iâm cocky.â He scoffs.
âYou have a smart mouth on you âAâ, I wonder what else your mouth can do.â
She was so close. So close to screaming at the top of her lungs in this thrift store. Why is he so confident, and why is it so hot? She wanted to tell him to shut up, to be quiet but her fingers froze over the keyboard. A part of her wants him to keep going. Heâs giving her attention for the first time ever and she didnât want it to stop.
He laughs, his voice a low growl. âShove my cocky attitude up my ass, huh? If that wasnât my type Iâd be piss about it. Youâre lucky âA.â
His type? So sheâs his type?! Is he enjoying this as much as she was? Or was Anya getting ahead of herself like she always does? Her delusional brain wants to believe that heâs getting off on her behavior but then again heâs done things like this in the past before with other viewers. Why would Anya think sheâs special? Itâs his job to be this flirty with his fans. Thatâs what makes him so popular in the first place. Itâs like an idol doing fan service, they get paid to do it. It means nothing. She takes a deep breath and for once she leaves his stream to focus back on her work.
She gets up and starts to clean up around the store. Kookâs voice replaying in her head on a loop. Heâs too mesmerizing and sheâs too weak for itâŚ..for him. A little bit later Haein comes back with snacks. Anya looks up and sees the bags of food she brought. This is what she needs right now. A distraction from whatever the hell just happened earlier. âYouâre a lifesaver.â
~~~~~~~~~~~~
âShe left?â Kook says in surprise as Jimin comes in his room. He definitely thought the flirting would have her squirming and blushing right now.
Jimin laughs, a hint of amusement on his face. âYeah guess she didnât like your attitude.â
Kook scoffs and throws a hand in the air as if he didnât care. A lot of viewers didnât like his personality and theyâd do the same thing. Theyâd bitch and complain about how âinappropriateâ or âoffensiveâ heâs being and theyâll leave. He didnât care in fact he liked the fact that he could get under their skin like that. But with âAâ was different. Too different, and Kook didnât understand what it meant but he knew that he wanted to continue to tease her. He wanted to push her buttons until they popped. Call it boredom or whatever but Kook didnât understand why he enjoys this. He continued his stream regularly as he normally would, secretly waiting for the moment when Jimin would come in and tell him something âAâ said but he didnât. She really left? Was he too harsh? Did she get offended? Kook didnât know but he found himself waiting for her. He already knew exactly what heâd say once she came backâŚâŚ.but she didnât.
Later that night Kook is up staring at the ceiling, lost in thought. Why is he craving her attention like some kind of teenage boy in heat? He just wanted to continue bickering with her and hopes to get the last word. Yes he was petty but it was fun. Fun to see someone other than his friends talk to him like that. He grins to himself thinking of what else he should say to her tomorrow. What would make her flustered or upset. He wanted to find out himself. It might seem like heâs being an attention seeker, and so what if he is? Heâs bored and âAâ is making things interesting. Very interesting.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Anya goes through the motions of her morning routine, thoughts swirling with the memories of last nightâs stream. She feels stupid for thinking this means anything and she knows it doesnât. If she expects disappointment she wonât get disappointed right? Thatâs her motto and she sticks by it. The way Kook was feeding her delusions made her feel like this was all just a dream and sheâd wake up from it.
She heads to her kitchen to find something to eat. Unfortunately for Anya she canât cook at all. Itâs sad because sheâs almost 25 years old and she still canât make a simple meal without something burning. As unhealthy it sounds she lives off frozen meals and instant noodles. At least itâs better than nothing. As she adds the water in her instant noodles her phone dings. Hm? A notification from Kookâs instagram. Yeah she had his post notifications onâŚâŚShe clicks the notification and it opens up to his instagram story. As she analyses the photo her heart starts racing. Is she seeing things? Is this real? Why would he post this?
It was a picture of the top of his head. Obviously covering up his face. Thereâs a text in the corner of the post that says âAâ. Thatâs it. Just the letter âAâ with a smirk emoji next to it. Okay he definitely did that on purpose. She wasnât insane. This was definitely for her. She thinks for a moment about what to do next. Her first instinct was to text JMochi but she decides against it. She didnât want to run to him every time Kook does something like this. Maybe she should ignore it? Yeah that sounds like a good and reasonable idea. Sheâs not being rude or anything she just simply didnât see the post. Sheâll just pretend that she didnât see it, thatâs the only way her brain can handle this situation properly.
~~~~~~~~~~~
âHey did âAâ text you or anything?â Kook says walking into Jiminâs room without even knocking.
âUh no she didnât why?â
Kook hums acting casual. âJust asking.â Kook was more than positive that she saw the post. If sheâs a longtime fan like she said she definitely seen it. He doesnât even know why he made it in the first place. So he just blames it on boredom again. âSo who exactly is this girl? Do you know her personally?â
Jimin looks at him with a grin on his face. âMaybe, why?â Jimin knew why but he wanted to hear him say it out loud.
âNo reason.â Kook heads towards the door, but before he could reach for the door nob he stops.
âSo do you have her number or something?â He asks trying to sound uninterested but obviously he really wants to know more about this mystery woman.
âWhy do you care?â
Kook looks offended. Care? No no Kook doesnât care. The chances of him caring are so low. Canât a guy just ask a question without things being more than what they are. Kook turns around to face him his expression emotionless and firm. âI donât care I just asked a question.â
âSeems like you care bro.â Jimin replies not even trying to hide the smile on his face. He knew Kook was a bit interested in âAâ, she made things fun and exciting for him recently.
âFuck you.â Kook leaves slamming the door. He doesnât know why heâs upset but he feels like he should be right now. What the fuck was Jiminâs problem? He canât answer a simple fucking question? He goes through his contacts and texts Yuna to help him let out some of his frustration, but before he could send the message he stops. He deletes the message and puts his phone away. Something about fucking Yuna right now didnât sound appealing to him in the moment so he opted to drink. Storming into the kitchen he grabs a bottle of beer and chugs it down. It helped a little until he heard Jiminâs footsteps get closer and closer. He huffs, he doesnât need to deal with him right now.
âShe texted me.â Jimin says entering the kitchen and that made Kook put the can down. He avoids eye contact with Jimin, he didnât want him to speculate that he cares about this situation. Because he doesnât by the wayâŚ.yeah he doesnât.
âOkay?â He says nonchalantly but waits for Jimin to continue. After waiting a few seconds he starts to hear Jimin laugh. He fucking laughed right in his face. âIâm kidding, but the look on your face right now is hilarious.â Thatâs it. Kook had enough of Jiminâs childish behavior recently and he didnât want to deal with it anymore. Without saying anything it snatches Jiminâs phone from his hands searching for what he wanted.
âHey what are you doing-
âWhereâs her number? I know you have it.â He goes through almost every app to see anything related to âAâ. âIâm over playing cat and mouse with her while youâre in the middle. Iâll text her myself.â
âNo can do. I promised Iâd keep her identity a secret.â He grabs his phone back. âIâm a man of my word.â
Kook runs his hands through his hair in frustration. âYou arenât exposing her identity just give me her information and let me talk to her directly.â
Jimin considers it for a moment. âMmm I donât knowâŚâŚshe seems pretty cool and youâll scare her off.â
Kook sighed knowing that Jimin wants something in return. Heâs just a greedy as he is. âIâll give you a shout out on my stream.â Jimin has been asking for a shout out for months now but Kook never budged. He didnât think Jiminâs audience and his were similar so he never did, but now he really wants âAâsâ information. No one has ever got him this excited in a while and he wants to continue being excited.
âDeal.â Jimin smiles going through his phone. âI want a real shout out by the way, donât disappoint me.â He pulls up her username on the streaming app. âHere this is her.â
Kook looks at the name and messages to make sure it was legit. After being satisfied with it, it takes the name and puts it in his phone. He briefly thinks about all the ways he could tease her and he grins at the thought. This was going to be funâŚ.
Summary: Kook is one of the most popular faceless streamers in Seoul. Heâs known for his flirting personality to his fans. Anya is one of them. She develops a crush on him over the last few months of watching him. How would she get his attention? What would he do once he gets it?
Authorâs Note: this story does contain mature material and language. Also this story was inspired by (jamjars on AO3. The story 97.6!!!) I hope you all enjoyed :)!!
Chapter One~
âOkay thatâs all for today guys, try not to dream about me too much. Iâll come back on tomorrow night so you all better be there. Especially my beautiful ladiesâŚ.â
âŚâŚâŚâŚ.
âDonât go? Oh you guys want me to stay on all night? Iâm sorry but I need to wash upâŚâŚunless someone wants to help me with thatâŚâ he says in a flirty tone.
He had no reason to sound that hot. It should be illegal. Every night at 6:30pm sharp Anya grabs her phone and sprints to her room to tune on it his stream. He plays these strange horror games and fighting games. She never been interested in video games, her little brother is a video game addict so sheâs never cared about it. Until one day she came home from work to visit her parents house. They always begged to see her. Something about âdonât forget where you came fromâ. Gotta admit they were kinda clingy. After she greeted them she made her way to her brother Aidenâs room. He was sleeping, but his computer monitor was on. She walks in and followed the voice coming from the screen. And thatâs when she hear him for the first timeâŚâŚ
Kook is a very popular faceless streamer. He never showed his face, but Anya didnât need to see him to know he was hot. The way his voice sounds in her ear makes her brain tingle. So that day she got Kookâs information and went home to do her own research on him.
Apparently heâs 25 years old and heâs in college just like her. He works outâŚ.boxing probably? Heâs an extreme flirt and he loves to sing. She only knew this because he would say subtle things about himself that she mentally wrote down. The way he talks to his supporters makes it seem like he doesnât have a girlfriend butâŚ..who knows maybe he does.
But it wasnât just about his looks or his voice that made Anya interested in him and his content. It was the he made her feel confident and secure. Anya was a very insecure person, I mean who wouldnât be when you grew up with your old classmates calling you fat and ugly. Some people are just too cruel with their words. So of course sheâs insecure and slightly depressed by the constant reminder of her body. Until Kook gave his viewers some advice on a situation similar to hers.
âFuck anyone who makes you feel like shit. Youâre human just like them who cares if youâre fat or skinny. Be you and be yourself and watch how miserable youâll make them.â
Sheâll never forget that. Heâs right and ever since she heard him say that sheâs seen life through a different perspective. No more excuses for letting people like that get to her. No more holding back her tongue. No more getting ran over. This was a new Anya. A version that was healing from past trauma and moving forward with her life.
Sheâs been a fan of Kookâs streams for only about seven months now but she feels like she knew him forever. I know that sounds absolutely insane right? But no seriously she does a lot of things he does on a weekly basis. Itâs almost identical to her scheduleâŚ.well except streaming. They have the same taste in music and love horror movies. He also mentioned that he goes to this gym not too far from where she lives, so does that mean he lives close? What if she seen him before walking home or what if she was next to him in line, but she wouldnât know what he looks like only what he sounds likeâŚ..
She didnât want to seem like she idolized him in a weird one-sized way. Sheâd leave the idolizing to Ariana Grande probably one of the most perfect people in the world. Anyaâs friends didnât even notice to subtle change in her behavior and appearance to. Yeah Kook even influenced her to dress differently. Before it was only yoga pants and random shirts with those stupid little words on them like âgood vibesâ or âkeep calm and quietâ some bullshit like that, but now she since she found out that Kook likes the color black and he wears oversized clothing she just had to change up her wardrobe. It was definitely time to. She would wear an oversized black hoodie and a bucket hatâŚâŚ.yeah even in the summer time. Now sheâs more comfortable and secure in her appearance.
She tryâs to convince herself that her new interests arenât weird. Following a streamer and basically knowing a lot of things about him made her realize that oh shit she has a crush on him. To be fair sheâs been single for almost two years, and she just assumed that sheâs a bit touch starved and leaves it at that.
Itâs not until on a regular Thursday afternoon she notices the slight change in Kookâs behavior, and it left her feeling very anxious and fidgety. Normally Kook comes on stream with his witty charisma and bundle of energy. He throws in a few flirty remarks and starts the stream up.
âYoo welcome back to the stream. Mmm look at the comments rolling in. Looks like you guys are needy today huh? Good thing Iâm here toâŚ.satisfy those needs.â
Thatâs what Anya is used to, but today something is off. As soon as she got the notification she joined immediately and noticed the slight change in his voice.
âHey guys welcome to the stream. Today weâre going to finish the last game we played yesterdayâŚ.â
He sounded tired and annoyed like he didnât want to stream today. He didnât read a single comment itâs like he didnât even look. As Anya chewed on her fingernails in worry she sees the comments talking about the change in his tone. He completely ignores it. In fact he hardly even spoke the whole time. The way he moved in the game looks like heâs dragging it. Heâs a sore loser and heâs lost so many times now. One thing about Kook he doesnât lose. She can hear the occasionally sigh that he lets out and she feels guilty. How can she help? What can she do?
Without thinking she goes through the comments and looks for his mods. He only had a few but he always would say that if we need anything we can ask his mod and theyâll help. She finds a certain mod by the name of JMochi. Sheâs never messaged a mod before so this all a bit nerve racking for her. She clicks on his name and decides to send a message.
âHi sorry this is a bit strange but if you can please tell Kook that I hope everything is okay with him. He seems a bit down today and not his normal flirty, energetic self. Maybe Iâm just speculating on my part and Iâm sorry if I am but I really hope you pass on my message to him. Thank you again.â
Okay that kind of made her feel a bit better. Hopefully he-
JMochi: well hello there looks like someone noticed his behavior.
He replied back? She didnât think he would and definitely not that fast either. She takes a deep breath and text back.
âOh hi I didnât expect a response. Yes I did notice his behavior and Iâm a bit concerned. Iâve been a viewer for months now and Iâve never seen him behave his way.â
JMochi: yeah heâs normally not this much of a downer. Iâm surprised someone else noticed enough to text me directly. I will definitely pass on your message. Is there anything else you want me to tell him?
She thinks for a moment. Thereâs so much she wants to say but right now she can surpass her eagerness and just be a supportive fan.
âAlso that Iâm a fan of his content and I love his streams. Heâs amazing and I hope he knows how much of an impact heâs making in other peoples lives.â
JMochi: got it. Iâll let him know. Thanks Anya.
âWait how do you know my name?â
JMochi: your username is Anya0901 very ironic that those numbers are Kookâs birthday.
Oh no he probably thinks sheâs a complete stalker fan who has an obsession with him. This is bad really bad.
JMochi: donât worry I wonât tell him about your
name Iâll keep it just between us.
She lets out a breath she didnât know she was holding. That couldâve been worse than she thought.
âThank youâŚ.yes please donât tell him. I rather be anonymous. But if he asks for a name you can just tell him âAâ. That would be appreciated.
JMochi: no problem âAâ. Canât wait to hear more from you.
Anya was freaking out over the text messages between her and JMochi. She didnât want to come off as a weird stalker fan, speaking of she should change her username immediately. After a few minutes of having a mental breakdown Kook ends his stream without even saying goodbye. She worried about him and hoped that JMochi delivered her message.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
âUgh fuck this.â Kook says as he comes home from a long day from work. Everyday was pretty shitty but today was the icing on the cake. Kook works at a local Best Buy. In case you didnât know heâs obsessed with technology and gaming equipment. Despite his asshole of a boss you could possibly say he actually likes his job, but he wouldnât admit that out loud. To be fair he really doesnât need a job. Streaming makes him enough money to pay his bills with no problem. And the fact that heâs a faceless streamer makes his audience grow even more.
It didnât always start off with gaming for Kook. Growing up he was very active and athletic. Basketball, baseball, football, you name it and Kook has probably done it. Playing video games was just a hobby for him. You know coming home from practice just to hop on the game. It was his routine for so long. Since he graduated he had more time to play. His college classes were in the morning, so after classes heâd get on the game. Until one day he decides to make a streaming account. After creating his account he sets up his monitor and presses âgo liveâ. He didnât feel as confident as he normally did that day so he didnât turn his camera on, and thatâs when the viewers came in.
Kook then realized that he could possibly make a living just by playing video games. His channel grew rapidly over the years and he couldnât be more happy for himself. The money was definitely a plus. He was able to keep up with the rent for him and his roommate Jimin. Theyâve been living together since graduation and for a while it was hard for both of them to keep up with rent, until Kook started streaming.
âYou look like shit.â Jimin says as he watches Kook come in the house. Jimin also streams but heâs more of a YouTuber type of guy. You know the ones who do those stupid staged pranks and vlogâs everything except for Kook. Jimin valued his privacy and never put him on camera for his sake.
âThanksâ Kook says not hiding the sarcasm in his voice. âIâm hungry did you cook?â
âWhat am I? Your wife?â Jimin says sitting on the couch tapping away at his computer.
âHell no, what kind of idiot would willingly marry you.?â Kook replies looking through the fridge finding anything to eat. They just bought groceries how does the food disappear so quickly?
âYouâd be surprised. You should see my DMâs. Women are obsessed with me Kook. Donât be jealous.â
Kook ignores him.
âAre you streaming? You look extra mad today.â
Kook lets out an annoyed huff. âWork was shitty. My mom called me and told me my brother fell off his bike again. Heâs in the hospital but heâs doing good.â He grabs some sandwich meat from the fridge. âIt doesnât make sense. He always does something reckless and leaves me and our parents worried. Not to mention when I got the call I couldnât go visit him because of all the days of work I missed last week so that ruined my whole mood.â
Jimin looks up from his computer, a hint of concern and sympathy in his eyes. âIâm sorry Kook at least your brother is doing well. It couldâve been worse.â
âI just need to get my mind off of it. I would call Yuna but apparently sheâs busy. So yeah streaming it is.â Yuna was Kookâs fuck buddy. Theyâve been on and off for over a year now and itâs pretty toxic. When either of them would have the slightest inconvenience, theyâll called each other, fuck for about an hour, then go home. Kook likes to call it his âstress relieverâ other than smoking. One thing about Kook he doesnât do relationships, hell he couldnât even remember the last time heâs been in one. Heâs strictly a fuck-and-go type of guy, and so is Yuna. They made it clear in the beginning that they didnât
want anything serious and no feelings involved. So heâs used to her being available whenever he needs her, but the fact that sheâs âbusyâ pissed him off even more. He wanted to take his frustration out on her. Fuck her so hard that she couldnât walk the next morning. Shove her face into the mattress, choke her, spank her, hell sometimes heâd tie her up and pin her to the bed just so he could leave marks and bites on her. But now heâs left with no one at the moment and that makes him even more upset.
âYuna is hoe you know that right? Shouldnât youâŚ..I donât know find someone who doesnt fuck the entire city?â Jimin says.
Why did that make Kook even more pissed. âSo what? I donât care about her.â And he actually meant that. As bad as it sounds he really didnât care about her. Why should he? Sheâs didnât care about him.
âYou want me to moderate your stream today? Or you want me to call Taehyung to do it?â Jimin was Kookâs first moderator ever. Heâs a great mod, he always makes sure Kookâs streams are doing well and he removes the few hate comments he gets. Also Jimin is the only person who has access to his DMâs. Kook has thousands of messages of horny teenage girls and men. They never seen his face and yet they insist that they should fuck him. He would be lying if he said he didnât like the attention but over some time it gets weird and uncomfortable. So he trusts Jimin to go through his DMâs to make sure he doesnât miss out on any brand deals or anything involving his work ethic.
âYou do it.â He said bluntly as he walks away, disappearing into his room. He hopes that if he gets to kill some zombies or something that would help with his frustration at the moment. Unfortunately it didnât. Some viewers noticed the change in his attitude and keep insisting on him to talk about it. What is this therapy? No itâs just a regular stream. His viewers should be more focused on his gameplay more than anything and yet he hasnât won not one round. All the comments werenât making him feel better at all and without thinking he ends the stream earlier than he usually does. He sighs and runs his fingers through his hair trying to calm himself down. Today was really a shitty day and the only thing that could take away this frustration temporary is alcohol and smoking.
He takes off his head set and heads for his door, only to be face to face with Jimin. He was smiling. Which made Kook really uncomfortable at the moment.
âWhat?â Kook says impatiently, mind focused on nothing but alcohol and that damn vape. And Jimin here is delaying the process.
âLooks like you have a secret admirer.â He says in a singing tone. Secret admirer? Of course he does he gets messages like that every day. But right now he didnât want to hear another story about how a 40 year old virgin is offering to pay him thousands of dollars just to fuck them. He denied that offer by the way.
âDonât care now move.â Jimin stops him in his tracks. His face calm and collected. Why was he always so persistent. It was a good and bad thing.
âLook at this message.â He pulls out his phone and practically shoves the phone in his face. Kook was this close to shoving Jiminâs face into the nearest wall if he kept this up. But he would thatâs the thing. Heâd keep going until Kook finally gave in.
Kook took the phone and read the message on the screen. As he read it his frustration was quickly replaced with a pang of gratitude. He canât remember the last time someone actually cared about his feelings enough to personally message Jimin. And why the hell did it make his heart warm up. Something about the way her words felt soâŚ.caring? Kind? Kook didnât know why the hell a message from this stranger made him feel better than he did moments ago. He tried to hide the slight smirk on his face when he sees the way she praises him.
âIs that a smile I see?â JImin teases. Kookâs smirk immediately dropped. The last thing he needs is for jimin to start gloating like a child.
âWho is this? Oh let me guess sheâs either 40 or 14 years old.â Kook says returning the phone and heading towards the kitchen. He completely forgot why he needed to come in here in the first place.
âNope sheâs 24 years old. I mightâve looked her up before telling you about her. Gotta say sheâs hot.â
âCool.â Kook says nonchalantly looking through the fridge for something he canât quite remember. Those text messages making his mood change slightly. Something inside of him wants to thank her for the kind words, but when has Kook ever done that? Jimin is in charge of the messages he receives and he isnât the type to just thank someone so casually. Call it cockiness but heâs use to it. Use to getting what he wants and not really dealing with the consequences after. Itâs just who he isâŚ.who heâs always been.
âCool, huh?â Jimin mocks. He can read Kook like a book and can tell his mood change after he seen the message. âOkay then Iâll tell âAâ you said âcoolâ after she took the time out of her day to make sure you were alright. Unlike some other people. âJimin pulls out his phone to type out a messageâ
âWaitâŚâ Kook says with a sigh. As much as he doesnât want to admit it Jimin was right. It feels weird to just ignore the kind words from her. âIâll thank her on tomorrowâs stream okay?â
Jimin grins as if he already knew heâd do that. âIâm proud of you Jungkook. Youâre a changed man.â
Kook hasnât heard someone say his full name in years. Jimin only does that when heâs trying to be childish and immature. And god he hates it more than anything and Jimin knows that. Itâs like he gets off to Kookâs anger. Heâs fucking weird but heâs also his best friend and he doesnât trust anyone else other than him and Taehyung.
âWhatever donât make it seem like Iâm just an asshole. I care about my fans who care about me okay?â Kook reaches in the fridge to grab a can of beer and walks back into his room. Once his alone with his thoughts he thinks back to the message from earlier. How can someone care about him when they didnât even know him. Let alone seen him either. He doesnât understand yet heâs happy he could at least get out of his shitty mood from earlier today.
He gets on his computer and goes over his assignments for the week. Although he despises school and has a deep hatred for it he does want to graduate and who knows heâd probably get his degree and work for this big tech firm. Maybe he could even convince his brain dead brother to actually take his life seriously. He didnât want to become one of those strict older brothers who acts like a third parent but Kookâs brother is really reckless and it worries him more than anything. He grabs his phone and decides to call him just to make sure heâs okay and safe.
âJungkook whatâs up?â Junghyun say and he can hear the grin in his voice. âDonât worry Iâm fine Iâm better than fine. The doctors here are so hot. I should come more often.â
Idiot. Heâs a completely idiot. Heâs making it seem as if heâs immoral. What the hell are seventeen year olds doing nowadays anyway? When he was his age he was playing sports and partying, but Junghyun is treating life as if it ends tomorrow.
âYouâre an idiot. Do you know how worried our parents are? Youâre lucky Iâm not there to beat your ass for being so reckless.â
âAwww love you too bro.â Junghyun says with a smile on his face. Kook has his own way to express his love and concern and this was it.
âWhatever just donât do it again.â
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Next morning Anya walks into her classroom and prepares for her morning lecture. Why the hell did she decide to do tech? She can barely change a light bulb. Itâs time to start looking for a new major.
As the classroom starts to fill up with students one in particular catches her eye every morning. He wasnât a new student, in fact Anya has seen him a couple of times on campus. He sits in the back with a couple of other students. Itâs too mediocre to call them âpopular kidsâ but they are. The guy was always dressed in black and wears the same black bucket hat almost everyday. He has an eyebrow and lip piercing which is very hot in Anyaâs opinion. No not opinion itâs a fact. His entire right arm was covered in tattoos. Even down to his fingers. It doesnât take an idiot to see how hot he was. The entire class- no the entire school knew it. Not even just him. He surrounded himself with six other students who were just as hot as he was. She recognized one of them. Jimin is a YouTuber and he films occasionally on campus, but the others she didnât know. Apparently the hot guys name is Jeon. Well thatâs what the professors call him. Heâs the typical bad boy but heâs always in class on time and from what she noticed, he one of the highest ranking students in their school. Talk about not judge a book by its cover.
Oddly enough sheâs never heard him speak. Not once. He just silently observes. Anya did find him attractive and it was nice to actually attach her feelings to something sheâs seen in person before, but Kook was always on her mind. OccasionallyâŚâŚ.well not occasionally but she often checks his social media accounts and she listens to the songs he recommends. Apparently heâs not the emo type like how she expected. He likes almost every genre. And she trusted his taste in music. She clicks on his playlist and starts taking her notes trying her hardest not to turn around at her eye candy of a man Jeon.
Kook arrives to class at his normal time and takes his seat in the back. The rest of the guys comes along and start their own conversation. Kook doesnât talk much during school. He didnât want to seem like a celebrity but last time he had a conversation with his friends a lot of people recognized him from his stream. He just didnât want anyone to know. Jungkook and Kook were two completely different people and he wanted it to stay that way. He actually takes his school work seriously because he actually cares about his future. So during the hour and a half of his lecture, he takes notes and his friends whispers about whatever they were talking about and he concentrates on the work ahead. But his mind goes back to that message of âAâ. It brought a sense of comfort to him out of nowhere and he didnât know how to ignore it. So he didnâtâŚ.
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You watched him go, your body still thrumming with the memory of his touch. You took a deep breath, trying to ground yourself, to bring your heart rate back to a normal level. But it was difficult, your mind still whirling with the events of the last few moments, the memory of his lips on yours, the feel of his hands on your hipsâŚYou shook your head, trying to clear your thoughts. This night was turning out to be much more complicated than you had anticipated...
You moved back into the crowd, trying to keep your composure. The party was still in full swing, people milling about, music playing loudly in the background, but all you could think of was him. With every step you took, you couldn't help but feel his absence, the space where he had been just minutes ago now filled with a sense of longing...desireâŚ
You made your way a to the bar, deciding that a drink might help you refocus. Perhaps some liquid courage would drown out the memories of his touch, the taste of his lips, the way he had looked at you. You ordered a drink and took a seat at the bar, trying to look casual, as if you didn't have a care in the world. But your mind was still racing, the memories of Jimin's presence and the anticipation of his return keeping you on edge. You took a sip of your drink, the alcohol burning your throat, but the distraction was short-lived as your thoughts kept returning to him, the memory of his touch still lingering on your skin...
As you spot him from afar, chatting with other party goers, a pang of jealousy shot through you. You saw the way he laughed, the way he smiled, his charm on full display. The women around him were clearly taken with him, hanging on to his every word, his every gesture. You could see the attraction in their eyes, the interest and the desireâŚ
And each time he laughed, each time he smiled at another woman, you felt a twinge of anger, a strange, possessive pang in your chest. You tried to ignore it, to tell yourself it was just part of the role you were playing, but the feeling wouldnât go away, a mix of frustration and helplessness swirling in your gut.
As if sensing your gaze, he suddenly looked up, his eyes meeting yours across the room. Even from a distance, the connection was electric, his gaze intense and lingering. For a moment, he seemed almost distracted, his conversation with the other party-goers faltering as he stared at you.
You tried to maintain your cool, to keep your expression neutral, but his gaze was making it difficult. Your heart started to beat faster again, the memory of their earlier encounter coming back in full force. You took another sip of your drink, your eyes never leaving his, a silent communication passing between you two. âI need him.â You thought, your body humming with desire. You could practically feel your underwear being soaked just by the sight of him.
He said something to the people he was talking to, his gaze still fixed on you, before excusing himself and making his way towards you. You swallowed, your heart beating even harder now, your body growing tense with anticipation.
Without a word he grabs your wrist and guides you out of the busy crowd. âWhat are you doing?â You asked âWhere are you taking me?â Though it was strange, you really werenât complaining. The grip he had on you made you feel so grounded and anchored. Youâd followed him anywhere.
He led you up the stairs, his grip on your hand firm and purposeful. The room he took you to was dark and empty, a quiet space away from the noise and bustle of the party. The moment the door closed behind him, the atmosphere shifted, the air suddenly charged with tension and anticipation.
He turned to you , his eyes never leaving yours. There was a primal hunger in his gaze, a wildness that matched your own. Without a word, he backed you up against the wall, trapping you between him and the cool plaster, his body pressed tight against yours, his hands on your hips. âNow..â he murmured. âWhere were we?â
You gasped your body responding instinctively to his touch, your hands moving to his shoulders as if pulled by a magnetic force. You looked up at him, your breath coming in quick, shallow gasps, your heart beating like a war drum in your chest. âW-What about your guest?â You asked breathless.
He chuckled against your skin, his breath warm and stirring. There was a hint of amusement in his tone when he spoke. âThey can waitâŚâ he murmured. âThis is more importantâŚâ
âI thought you were an extra extravagant host, that makes all heâs guests feel welcome and special.â
He grins, his lips trailing down your neck, leaving a trail of warm kisses in their wake. His touch was gentle and warm, as if heâs trying to memorize your body and your responses. As he spoke, his voice was a low, rough whisper that vibrated against your skin. "I am⌠but right now, youâre the only guest I want to make feel welcome⌠and specialâŚâ
His words sent another jolt of desire coursing through you, your body responding, arching against him in a way that was both eager and needy. You knew you should resist, should maintain some degree of control, but it was growing more and more difficult with every touch, every word he whispered against your skin. âI can tell you want it tooâŚ.mystery lady.â
His hands were everywhere, touching, exploring, igniting sparks of pleasure wherever they went. He claimed your mouth in a deep, desperate kiss, his tongue hungry and demanding. His body pressed tight against yours, trapping you between the cool wall and his hot, hard frame, the contrast making your head spin.
You found yourself surrendering completely, your body and mind utterly consumed by his presence. Your defenses crumbled, your resistance shattered, your body responding to his touch with a desperate hunger you hadnât known you were capable of. It was as if he had unlocked something inside you, some deep, primal need that had until then been, hidden in the darkest corners of your soul.
He breaks the kiss only to guide you on the near by bed. As you lay down, he climbs on top of you, his eyes locked with yours. His hands moved to the zipper of your dress, his touch confident and sure. He began to slowly unzip it, letting the fabric fall away from your body, uncovering inch by inch, smooth skin. As he exposed more and more of you to his hungry gaze, he let out a low, guttural sound.
You felt a mix of vulnerability and excitement as he undressed you, the way he was looking at you making you feel desired, wanted, worshipped in a way you had never experienced before. Every exposed patch of skin seemed to burn under his gaze, the air charged with a tension that was both electric and intoxicating.
He looked down at the sight of your bare skin, biting back a moan. âYouâre stunning..â he says, voice laced with desire. âCan I keep going?
You nod your eyes never leaving his.
He kisses each piece of skin he exposes, his lips leaving gentle marks as he removes your underwear. Once you're bare, he lays you back on the bed, his eyes drinking in the sight of you.
He leans down, his hands spreading your thighs gently as he settles between them. He kisses your neck, your collarbone, your breasts, his touch tender and adoring. Still fully clothed himself.
He takes his time exploring your body, his touch gentle yet firm. He wants to know every inch of you, every touch igniting sparks under his fingertips. He pauses at your core, his breath hot against your skin. "Is this okay? I wonder if you taste as good as you look.â
You nod, your hands reaching up to tangle in his hair. He smiles softly before leaning in, his tongue parting your folds and delving inside you. He eats you out with his mouth and tongue working magic on your sensitive flesh. âMmmâŚ.I was correct.â
He takes his time, licking and sucking, his tongue circling your clit before sucking it gently. He slips two fingers inside you, curling them just right to hit that perfect spot. Your moans and whimpers spur him on.
You writhe under his touch, your body a tangle of sensation, your mind lost in a haze of pleasure. The intensity of his desire, the raw need in his touch, was overwhelming, almost dizzying. You could feel yourself drowning in his presence, losing yourself in pleasure and sensation, surrendering completely to his every whim. Having him, Park Jimin with you like this made this moment even more special. You dreamt of this moment and here you areâŚ..getting everything and more from him.
He continues his sensual assault, his fingers pumping in and out of you as his tongue flicks over your clit. He can feel you tightening around his fingers, knowing you're close. He doubles his efforts, determined to make you fall apart. âLet go, Iâve got you.â
You clench your thighs around his head, your body convulsing as you reach the peak. He continues to suck and lick, drawing out your pleasure as you ride out the waves of your release. He gently eases you down, placing soft kisses on your thighs before crawling back up to face you.
He wipes his mouth with the back of his hand, his eyes filled with satisfaction as he looks down at you. He leans in for a kiss, his tongue parting your lips so you can taste yourself on him. "You're so sweet."
He pulls back and starts to undo his pants, just enough to free his cock. He positions himself at your entrance, the tip of his cock teasing your slick folds. He looks into your eyes, silently asking for permission. At your nod, he slowly pushes forward, his thick length stretching you deliciously as he fills you inch by inch.
He pauses midway, giving you a moment to adjust to his size. He leans down to kiss you softly, his hips gently rocking against yours. He slides the rest of the way in, burying himself deep inside you. He lets out a low groan, his face nuzzled into your neck. You groan in slight pain at the invasion, his cock stretching your tight walls.
He notices your wince, immediately stilling inside you. He pulls back slightly, trying to read your face. "Did I hurt you? Do you want me to stop?" His voice is filled with concern. He leans down to kiss you softly, his hand caressing your cheek.
You shake your head, wrapping your legs around his waist. "No, it's just.... Give me a moment. You feel so good, I just need to... adjust.â His expression softens with understanding, his hand stroking your hair gently. "Take your time.â
He remains still, allowing you to get accustomed to his size. His lips trail soft kisses along your jaw and neck, his touch soothing and comforting. "You're doing so well. We can go slow." He murmurs, his voice a low, tender rumble.
After a few moments, you feel more comfortable, the initial pain subsiding. You look up at him, your eyes filled with desire and trust. He smiles, his heart swelling with affection. He gently begins to move again, his strokes slow and careful at first, gradually increasing in pace as you adjust.
He finds a rhythm that pleases you both, his hips moving smooth, sensually as he fills you over and over. The bed creaks softly beneath you, the sound mingling with your soft gasps and his low groans.
He changes his angle slightly, and suddenly, he hits a spot inside you that makes your toes curl. "Oh! Right there!" You cry out, your nails digging into his back. He grins, knowing he's found your sweet spot.
He focuses his efforts on that special place, his hips rolling and thrusting with purpose. The head of his cock drags along your inner walls, sending sparks of pleasure through your body with each pass. He leans down to capture your lips in a heated kiss, swallowing your moans. âJiminâŚâ
Your body begins to tense, a familiar pressure building low in your belly. You're getting close, teetering on the edge of ecstasy, but you didnât want this to end. He must sense it, because he doubles his efforts, his thrusts becoming harder and faster.
âOh, Jimin! I-I'm..." Your words are lost to a cry of pure bliss as he sends you tumbling over the edge into release. Your inner muscles clamp down around him, pulsating rhythmically as wave after wave of pleasure crashes over you.
With a hoarse shout, he follows you over the brink. His body stiffens, his hips jerking against yours as he spills warm cum inside you. He buries his face in your neck, his breathing hot and fast against your skin. "DamnâŚ.where the hell haveâŚâŚ.you been my whole life?â
He collapses on top of you, his weight a comforting presence. He nuzzles your neck, placing gentle kisses on your skin. Afterwards, you lay there, your bodies tangled together in a messy embrace, the room around you still had a faint sound of the party. Your breaths came in ragged gasps, your bodies hot and sticky with sweat. Your mind was still fuzzy, your body humming with satisfaction. You could feel the heat of his skin against yours, the steady rhythm of his heart beating against your own.
âI didnât get your name.â He smiles softly. He
strokes your hair, his touch soothing and caring.
You sat up, your heart suddenly racing as he asked your name. For a moment, you had no response, your mind clouded with panic. You couldnât tell him your real name, that was the whole point of this, to remain a mystery to him. You had to think fast, come up with a believable alias on the spot.
You smiled weakly, your mind still racing. âItâsâŚitâs a secret,â you said, your voice a bit shakier than you would have liked. You hoped he wouldnât notice your nervousness, that he would take it as simple flirtation instead of the panic you were feeling inside.
He chuckled softly, his eyes still fixed on you. âA secret, huh?â he murmured. âI like that.â He pushed himself up on one elbow, his expression playful, curious. âNo hints, no clues?â
You shrugged, trying to act casual, as if this was all just part of the game. âSorry, my lips are sealed,â you said, flashing a small, teasing smile. You hoped he would drop the subject, but you could see in his eyes that he was not going to let this go that easy.
You quickly got up, pulling your dress and underwear back on, your movements quick and nervous. You could feel his eyes on you, watching your every move, his gaze curious.
You finished fastening your dress with trembling hands, the act of getting dressed suddenly feeling very awkward and exposing. You could feel his gaze on your skin, the weight of it making you feel more naked and vulnerable than when you had actually been undressed.
You turned back to him, your face composed, your expression neutral, betraying nothing of the chaotic thoughts and feelings swimming in your mind. He was still lying in bed, looking relaxed and content, a lazy smile on his lips as he watched you.
He didnât speak, just looked at you, his gaze intense and full of curiosity. You could see the questions in his eyes, the urge to know more about you, to find out who you really was, lurking behind that lazy smile.
âArenât you getting up?â You said, your tone casual, masking the mixture of emotions you were feeling inside. You needed him to get dressed, to stop his intense staring, to give you some space to gather your thoughts and regain your composure.
He smiled and sat up, stretching lazily. The bedsheets pooled around his waist, leaving his bare chest exposed, his muscles taut and defined in the dim light of the room. You saw the hint outline of his tattoo on his side. It was a sight that would make any woman weak in the knees. Especially you. âThatâs right. I do have a party to host.â
He casually picked up his pants from the floor and put them on, moving with a relaxed, confident grace that was both irritating and attractive. You watched him, trying to control your reactions, but your eyes kept returning to him, to the way his muscles moved under his skin, how the soft light played across his shoulders, his arms, his chest.
You felt your hands clench into fists by your sides, your bodyâs urges warring with your mindâs resistance. You wanted to look away, to ignore the effect he was having on you, but you couldnât tear your gaze away from him, the sight of him half-naked too much to resist.
He seemed perfectly at ease, completely oblivious to the effect he was having on you. He was buttoning up his shirt, his fingers moving with quick, deft motions, his expression calm and relaxed. Meanwhile, your mind was a tangle of chaos and confusion, your body a battlefield of desire and resistance.
âWe should go back to the party.â You moved towards the door, your body still feeling shaky, your mind still swimming with thoughts and sensations. He reached out and grabbed your wrist, preventing you from leaving the room. You felt a jolt, a combination of surprise and desire at his touch. You turned back to face him, your expression guarded, your body trembling with anticipation.
âWait,â he said, his voice low and smooth. âBefore we go back, I need something from you.â He stepped closer, his fingers still wrapped around your wrist, his gaze intense and determined.
âWhat do you need?â You asked, your voice barely a whisper.
He smirked, his grip on your wrist tightening ever so slightly. âYour number,â he said. âI want to see you again.â His tone was firm, leaving no room for negotiation. He wasnât asking, he was demanding.
You swallowed, your mind racing. You knew you should refuse, that it would be the smart thing to do, to maintain your façade, and your freedom. But at the same time, a part of you wanted to comply, to give in to his demands, to see what it would be like to be truly claimed by him, to be his completely.
âI donât knowâŚâ you said, your voice hesitant, even as your body betrayed you, your pulse racing at the thought of giving him what he wanted. âI donât think thatâs a good ideaâŚâ
âWhy not?â he said, his mouth just inches away from yours. âAfraid you wonât be able to resist me again?â His tone was teasing, but there was an edge of challenge there too, as if he wanted to test the limits of your self control.
You shivered at his words, your body reacting automatically to his proximity, his touch. You tried to resist, to keep up your guard, but it was getting more and more difficult with him this close, his body pressed against yours, his breaths hot against your skin.
He leaned down, his lips hovering just above your ear, his breath sending a wave of heat through your body. âJust give me your number,â he whispered, his voice low and persuasive. âOne number. Thatâs all Iâm asking for.â His hands tightened around your waist, pulling you even closer to him, eliminating any remaining space between your bodies.
You let out a soft gasp, your body responding to his words, his touch. You knew you should say no, that it would be better for both of you, but his voice was seductive, his body an intoxicating temptation. You felt your resolve crumbling, your resistance melting away under his gaze.
âPlease,â he added, his lips now tracing a path along your jawline, his teeth grazing your skin, his tongue teasing the sensitive spot behind your ear. âJust one number.â His voice was almost a whine, a plea, his desire for your clear in every syllable.
You couldnât resist anymore, your body surrendered completely, every fiber of your being responding to his touch, his words. You closed your eyes, your head falling back, giving in to the pleasure coursing through you. âOkay,â you breathed, your voice barely above a gasp. âOkay, you can have my numberâŚâ
He let out a low sound, a mixture of satisfaction and victory. He pulled back slightly, just enough to look into your eyes. âNow was that hard?,â he murmured, his gaze locked on yours.
You were powerless to resist his command, your body completely under his spell. You stumbled to find your purse, lying discarded on the floor, its contents spilled out. You fumbled through it, searching for your phone, your hands trembling with a combination of desire and fear.
Finally, you found it, your fingers closing around the cold device. You pulled it out, unlocking it with shaky fingers, your screen illuminating the dim room. You navigated to your contact list, your mind a blur of thoughts and emotions, your body still thrumming with desire.
He watched you intently, his gaze never leaving your face, his grip on your waist steady. He was breathing hard, his chest rising and falling in ragged gasps, his lips parted slightly. He looked like a man on the verge of losing control, teetering on the edge of restraint.
Once you two were done, he handed the phone back to you, your mind still fuzzy from the sheer desire coursing through you. He looked at the screen, his expression unreadable in the dim light, his eyes flicking back up to your face. âGood,â he murmured, his voice thick with desire. âNow I can find you whenever I want.â
A part of you felt a thrill at the thought of him being able to find you at any time, to have such control over your whereabouts. Another part of you felt a chill of dread, knowing that you had just given him a direct line to yourself, to your thoughts, your feelings, your private world.
He slowly released his grip on you, his body pulling away from yours. You stumbled slightly, feeling suddenly cold and alone without his touch. He took a step back, his hand on the doorknob, looking at you with a cocky, satisfied smile on his face.
âI should get back to the party,â he said, his voice casual, as if you two hadnât just spent the past few minutes in a whirlwind of lust and desire. âTheyâre probably wondering where I am.â
You just nodded, your mind still scrambled, your body still buzzing with the aftereffects of his touch. You couldnât trust yourself to speak, afraid of what might come out of your mouth if you opened it. Instead, you followed him silently, your heart still pounding in your ears.
He seamlessly rejoined the party, acting as if nothing had happened, as if he hadnât just had the night of his life. He mingled with the guests, his charm and charisma on full display, his eyes occasionally darting in your direction, a small, secretive smile playing on his lips.
You realized with a sudden jolt that it was already nearing midnight. You had completely lost track of time, your body and mind too preoccupied with the events of the evening. Reality came crashing back in, your responsibilities and obligations weighing heavily on your shoulders. You needed to get home and get ready for work in the morning.
As you slipped out of the party, you heard his voice behind you. He was trying to catch up to you. But you couldnât let him catch you, couldnât let yourself get sucked back into his world, into his spell. You quickly hailed a taxi, jumping in and slamming the door shut behind you, your heart racing in your chest.
The taxi pulled away from the curb, driving away into the night, the lights and sounds of the party fading into the distance behind you. You leaned back against the seat, closing your eyes, your mind and body still in a state of turmoil, your thoughts a whirlwind of desire and confusion.
You felt a stab of regret at leaving so suddenly, without even saying goodbye. But you knew you had made the right decision, that staying any longer would have just made things more complicated, more difficult to untangle. You couldnât let yourself get lost in his world, in his world of endless parties and wealthy people, because thatâs not youâŚâŚ and it will never be.
Like CrazyđĽ (Jimin x Femreader) (đ) Chapter One
Summary: Park Jimin one of the worldâs wealthiest man, throws a New Year Eveâs party every year. Only the richest and most successful people are invited, which you werenât at all. What will happen if you fake your life just to get a taste of his? Is lying the right way to go? What will you do when Jimin spots you at the party unable to ignore the magnetic pull he feels towards you? Will you keep up the lie? Or confess?
âQuite the experience, indeed,â he said, his voice a whisper. âBut you donât seem like the kind of person who normally enjoys these events. No offense, but you look a bit out of your element hereâŚâ he says, his eyes never leaving yoursâŚ..
âIf opportunity doesnât knock, build the doorâ -Milton Berle
Authors Note: hiii this story is inspired by the movie âCinderellaâ and the âGreat Gatsbyâ. This series does include sexual content and mature scenes so please read at your own risk. đ
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Chapter One~
Jimin is an extravagant host who throws grand New Year's Eve parties, known for gathering Korea's A-listers, music legends, and the hottest celebrities under one roof. His home morphs into a glitzy wonderland, where guests sip champagne, dance to live bands, and enjoy exclusive performances from the biggest names in entertainment.
These parties are not just about ringing in the new year, they're the most extravagance, glamour, and A-list group. These star decorated events are more than a celebration, they're a chance for the rich, famous, and influential to network, unwind, and let loose. Jimin himself moves about the room with confidence, charming every celebrity he meets, and ensuring that every guest feels like a VIP. The press buzzes about Jimin's parties for days, analyzing every detail of the luxurious festivities and speculating who was seen with whom.
Jimin's sharp eyes caught sight of a face that didn't look familiar. He paused, taking a moment to observe you with a curious tilt of his head. He watched as you walked outside. The parties he hosted were packed with familiar faces, and there was something intriguing about this unknown presence. His gaze held steady for a moment longer before he subtly excused himself from the conversation he was in. With an air of confidence, he approached you, a friendly smile on his lips. "Hello," he greeted, his tone smooth as he extended a hand.
Now letâs start over to how we even got here in the first placeâŚâŚ.
Two weeks ago~
On a regular Friday night, you sat in your modest apartment, the faint glow of your old television casting shadows on the bare walls. The news had just finished, and now, the late night commercials played, an endless parade of products and services trying to sell you something. But one commercial in particular caught your eye. A promotion for the latest, most exclusive party hosted by the one and only, Park Jimin. You sat up straighter, your heart fluttering in your chest. Park Jimin. The man everyone loves including yourself.
He was the charming idol known for his dashing good looks and magnetic charisma. You had been a fan of his for years, devouring every concert , every interview, every piece of information about him you could find. And now, here he was, promoting his latest party, a gathering of the rich and famous, a world light-years away from your life. As Jimin flashed that familiar, cheeky smile at the camera, your grip on the remote tightened, your eyes fixed on the screen, captivated. âHeâs perfectâŚ.â You mumble slightly biting your lips.
You couldnât shake the thought of being there. Wearing a beautiful dress, dancing in a sea of glittering lights, and maybe, just maybe, having a chance to meet him. But then reality set in, cold and stark. Those events were for the wealthy, the glamorous, the chosen ones. Not for someone like you, struggling to make ends meet, living paycheck to paycheck. Tears pricked your eyes, disappointment and longing mixing in a bitter lump in your chest. You clicked off the television, plunging your living room into darkness.
Yet, the image of Jimin stayed with you, burned into your mind. How could someone so bright and vibrant be just beyond your reach? It wasnât fair. Frustration gnawed at you. Why couldnât you have a chance at adventure, at excitementâŚat something more? With a huff, you rose from the couch, pacing your small living room. It was as if the walls were closing in on you, the reality routine of your life constricting your dreams. The desire to see that party, to touch that world, thrummed through your veins like a current.
As your mind whirled with the idea of attending Jimin's exclusive party, a spark of an idea took form. Becoming a 'fake' famous person? It sounded absurd and risky, perhaps even insane, but it was the only way you saw that could lead you into that glittering world. You sat down at your computer, determined to figure out the specifics of how to achieve this impossible goal.
The hours blurred as you delved into the shadows of the internet, researching every strategy, every trick you might need to pull off your plan. You read about impersonators, con artists, and social media influencers who faked their way into exclusive events. There was even a famous tale of a man who successfully impersonated a famous idol for almost a decade. Itâs not impossible. It CAN happen. You just need to find out how.
But even with all the knowledge you gathered, doubt crept in. You were just a simple girl. How could you possibly fool the world into thinking you were someone you werenât? The reality of the task threatened to crush your spirit. But then, you remembered the look in Jiminâs eyes on the television, the carefree smile that made your heart skip. There was no way you could let the chance to meet him pass you by. Youâd find a way, no matter what.
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Days melted into nights as you searched fashion and lifestyle blogs, learning the dos and donâts of high end style. Expensive designer clothes, luxury accessories, and a makeup look that screamed âwealth.â You even came across a website selling fake luxury items, purses, watches, and jewelry that looked authentic enough to fool even the most seasoned of connoisseurs.
You also needed a convincing backstory, something realistic that would explain your sudden presence. Your mind raced through various possibilities, each wilder than the next. A tech entrepreneurâs daughter? A foreign heiress? A social media influencer with a million followers? What would be more believable?
Just as you were about to sink into despair over the complexity of your plan, a name popped up on your computer screenâŚâŚ.a name you knew well from Jiminâs social media. It was a personal assistant to a well known actor, someone who had definitely been to these types of parties before. A lightbulb went off in your head. This person could be the key to your plan, the missing piece in your puzzle!!
You spent the rest of the night studying everything you could find about this person. Their public information, their online activities, even where they ate lunch. You needed to know them inside out, just as a dedicated undercover agent would. This was your only chance to get past the security at the party, and you werenât about to blow it.
You pulled up the fashion sites you'd bookmarked earlier, perusing through the luxurious dresses and shoes. You would have to buy everything with the money you'd saved, but in your mind, the cost was worth the chance to meet Jimin. As you browsed, one particular dress caught your eyeâŚ..it was a stunning evening gown, with a plunging neckline and a train that could rival a princess. It was the perfect choice for you.
With the dress chosen, you then moved on to the finer details, the accessories, the shoes, the makeup. Youâd have to look every bit the part, after all. Yet, there was one thing that bothered youâŚâŚhow to get a ticket to the exclusive event. There was no way you could just show up and waltz right in. You needed some sort of proof of your âstatusâ. Inspiration struck! You went back to the personal assistant's social media page, scrolling through their recent photos until you found what you were looking for. Right there, the pictures of fancy parties and red carpet events, was the golden ticketâŚ..a picture of the assistant holding a VIP invitation.
With this new evidence you took a mental note to search up the VIP invitation. As you searched the web you noticed the invitation was displayed almost everywhere. Would it be possible to get a photo of the ticket and print it out? But then it wouldnât be legit enough. You thought about the possibilities, but none of them were good enough. The party was in a few days and you had to act fast. With that you go to an editing app to crop out a picture of the invitation to print out. Itâs a risky move but it was worth it and at the end of the day you had nothing to lose.
A sly smile crossed your face. This was it. You had your way into the party. All you needed now was some confidence, a dash of courage. Easy, right? As you closed your laptop, you could almost feel your heart hammering out of your chest. It was all becoming real. In a few days, you would be attending one of the most exclusive parties of the year, all in the hopes of meeting your celebrity crush. The very thought of it sent tingles down your spine.
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The next few days passed in a blur of preparations and rehearsals. You spent your days practicing your new persona, from your accent and mannerisms to your knowledge of elite society. The more you immersed yourself in this new role, the more it started to feel real. The doubts and worries faded into the background, replaced by a growing sense of anticipation and excitement.
You even managed to get your hands on the fake luxury items. A designer bag, a Rolex watch, and a diamond necklace. As you looked in the mirror, trying them on and checking how they looked, you barely recognized yourself. This wasnât plain, ordinary y/n anymore. This was a woman of wealth, status, someone who could move in Jiminâs world. You grabbed your fake ticket and a hit of anxiety washes over you. This is risky butâŚâŚyou wanted this more than anything and now is time to act on it.
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Finally, the night of the party arrived. You felt a familiar flutter in your stomach as you slipped into the stunning evening gown. The silk caressed your skin like it was made for you, its deep red hue making you feel every bit the sophisticated socialite. You looked at yourself in the mirror, and for a moment, even you were fooled.
You put on the final pieces. The watch, the necklace, the bag. As you took one last look in the mirror, you saw a person completely different to your usual self. This persona, this woman you had created, was elegant, mysterious, confident. This would be the person who mets Jimin tonight.
With that thought, you took a final deep breath, and headed out of your apartment, your heart pounding. The taxi ride to the venue passed in a blur as you ran through your plan once more in your mind. It was now or never.
When the taxi pulled up outside the venue, the sight that welcomed you was nothing short of grand. The building was lit with soft, golden lighting, and the sound of music and laughter spilled out into the night. Despite your nerves, you kept your composure, walking up to the entrance with the air of someone who belonged there. The security guards barely gave you a second glance before letting you through. âThat was easyâŚ.â You mumble, voice laced with a bit of irritation. All that work of getting a fake invitation and they didnât even notice it. Regardless you still made it in.
As you stepped into the venue, the first sight that greeted you were the glittering sea of people. The men were dressed in sharp tuxedos, the women in lavish dresses, and the overall vibe of the place was one of wealth and extravagance. Despite the luxurious surroundings, you kept your focus. This was not the place to get distracted, not when you had a mission to accomplish.
You made your way to another room of the venue, a quieter space with fewer people. This was your chance to explore the place. You grab a glass of champagne giving by the nearby employees and took sip after sip, letting the champagneâs bubbly sting ease some of your nerves. As you moved around the venue, you found yourself appreciating the beauty of the place. The art on the walls, the music playing in the background, it all seemed to combine into a setting suitable the most exclusive of events. And yet, you were here, a fraud in this world of luxury, your heart pounding at the thought of what you planned to do.
After looking at the main areas of the venue you stepped out onto the outdoor terrace, taking a moment to breathe in the night air. The cool breeze was a welcome relief from the stifling atmosphere indoors. But even as you tried to relax, your heart continued to pound, the tension in your body only growing the longer you stayed here. This wasnât you or your life. As you look outside, your eyes on the crescent moon, you take another sip of the champagne.
âHello.â
Your heart skipped a beat as you heard the familiar voice behind you. You spun around to see Jimin standing there, his iconic smile lighting up his face. He was even more handsome in person, his eyes sparkling in the soft glow of the terrace lighting.
For a moment, you could barely speak. Park Jimin, the man you'd watched on screen for years, was right there, talking to you. You collected yourself, reminding yourself to stay in character. This wasn't just y/n, the girl who'd won a chance to meet her favorite idol, this was the persona you created to get into the party. You plastered on a smile, doing your best to look cool and confident. âHello, yourself.â
Jimin tilted his head to the side, studying you quietly. There was that look again, those mesmerizing eyes seeming to undress you as he took in every inch of you. He took a step closer, so close you could smell the subtle, masculine scent of his cologne. "You know," he said, his voice smooth and low, "I donât think Iâve seen you at one of these events before. New face, are we?"
You swallowed, trying to stay composed under his intense gaze. Your heart was thumping loudly in your chest, the proximity making it hard to think. But this was the moment you'd been waiting for. You had to keep up the act, no matter what. âYes, I suppose you could say that,â you replied, hoping your voice didnât waver. âIâm normally not much of a party person, but tonight, I thought Iâd try something new.â
Jiminâs smile widened, and he leaned against the railing, his arms resting casually. âWell, Iâm glad you decided to come,â he said, his tone almost...flirtatious. Or were you imagining things? âItâs not often I find someone new at these events, and certainly not someone as intriguing as youâŚâ
You could feel yourself blushing under his gaze, but you steeled herself, doing your best to appear cool and unruffled. This was the exact sort of attention youâd been hoping for, but also the sort of thing that could easily reveal you as a fraud. âYou flatter me,â you managed to say, your voice betraying a hint of shakiness.
Jimin chuckled, the sound sending a shiver down your spine. He moved closer, his gaze traveling down your figure, taking in your every feature. There was something almost possessive about the way he looked at you, like you were a treasure he wanted to claim for himself. âItâs not flattery if itâs the truth,â he murmured, his voice lower now. âYou are the most captivating woman here, by farâŚâ
âThank you,â you managed to say, your voice just above a whisper. âI could say the same about you, you know.â
His smile deepened, his eyes sparkling in the soft light, his crooked front tooth flashing. He leaned in closer, so close you could feel his breath against your skin. It was intoxicating, this proximity, the way he made you feel like the only person in the room, the only person in the world, even. "Oh, you are too kindâŚâ he murmured, his voice low and sultry. "But let me ask you something, mystery lady. What brings you to this exclusive party, exactly?â
You tried to keep your cool, despite the effect he was having on you. You prepared a response to that question, and you had to stick to it, no matter how flustered you were getting. You let out a casual, practiced laugh, your tone still as nonchalant as possible. âOh, you knowâŚâ you said, waving a hand airily. âJust interested in seeing what all the fuss is about these high-end parties. Iâve heard theyâre quite the experienceâŚâ
âQuite the experience, indeed,â he said, his voice a whisper. âBut you donât seem like the kind of person who normally enjoys these events. No offense, but you look a bit out of your element hereâŚâ he says, his eyes never leaving yours.
You felt a flash of nervousness at his comment. He was observant, this man, more perceptive than youâd given him credit for. But you brushed off the feeling, reminding yourself that you had to keep playing your part. You let out another casual laugh. âOh, I suppose I am a bit out of my comfort zone here,â you admitted, playing up the humble façade âBut thatâs part of the fun, isnât it? Trying new things and all thatâŚâ
Jimin hummed thoughtfully, his eyes still studying your face carefully. There was something in his gaze that made you feel as though he was seeing straight through you, seeing the real you beneath the facade. But you shook the feeling off, telling yourself it was just your imagination. After a moment, he spoke again, his voice just as smooth and sultry as before. âI suppose it is,â he said, his lips curling into a slight smile. âAnd what else do you find âfunâ, mystery lady?â
âThe unexpected, I supposeâ you said, your voice low. âThings that take the breath awayâŚ..make the heart race.â
His smile widened at your words, a satisfied, almost predatory look on his face. He took another step closer, closing the distance between you and him even more. Your heart was pounding now, your entire body on edge as you felt the magnetic pull between you two. "You and I have more in common than I thoughtâŚ" he murmured, his voice gravelly and deep. "I, too, crave the unexpectedâŚthe thrillingâŚthe wildâŚ"
He reached out, letting his fingertips graze your arm, a soft, electric touch. It was the smallest of contacts, but it was enough to send your heart racing even more. His voice lowered, his words a soft, seductive whisper. âThereâs something about you that draws me in, you knowâŚ" he said, his eyes fixed on yours. "Itâs like youâre a puzzle...and I have an irresistible need to solve youâŚâ
âA puzzle, huh?â You managed to say, your voice betraying a hint of the breathless feeling you were trying to hide. âAnd what if Iâm too hard to solve?â
His fingers continued to touch your arm, his touch slow and deliberate. There was a hint of hunger in his gaze now, a feral, primal look that made your heart beat even faster. âI like a challenge,â he said, his voice low and intense. âAnd you, my dear, are looking more challenging by the momentâŚâ His other hand came up, now tracing the line of your chin, his touch surprisingly gentle.
âYouâre very confident, arenât you?â You said, trying to sound casual. âYou donât even know me, and yetâŚhere you are, so sure you can solve my âpuzzleââŚâ
He chuckled again licking his lips, his fingers tracing your jawline now. âItâs not confidenceâŚâ he murmured, his voice low and husky. âItâs a certainty. You intrigue me, mystery lady. Youâre not like other women Iâve met, and I find thatâŚintoxicatingâŚâ
âYouâre quite the charmer, you know that?â You said, your voice betraying a hint of playfulness. âDo these lines usually work on the women you meet?â
He smiled, his fingers tracing the curve of your neck now, a soft, gentle touch. His gaze was fixed on your face, studying your expression with an intense attentiveness. "Not always," he admitted, his voice a soft whisper. "But with you, it's not just a line, it's the truth. You are different, mystery lady. You make me feelâŚ" He drew closer, his body now just inches away from yours, his eyes never leaving yours.
His closeness was making it hard to breathe. You were acutely aware of his height, his strength, the subtle scent of his cologne. It was overwhelming, and you found herself struggling to keep your cool, your heart beating wildly in your chest.* "F-Feel what?" You asked, your voice barely above a whisper. You were losing control, rapidly losing control.
"AliveâŚhungryâŚ" he murmured, his voice a rough whisper. "Like Iâve been asleep my whole life and youâve just woken me upâŚâ He leaned in, his lips close to your ear, his breath hot against your neck.
Your whole body was screaming, your senses on overload. The feeling of his lips near your ear, the heat of his breathâŚit was as if your entire existence narrowed down to just those sensations, those points of contact between them. Every instinct in your body was telling you to give in, to surrender to this magnetic pull, but another part of you was screaming to keep your guard up, to remember who you were supposed to be. "IâŚIâŚ" you began, your voice shaking.
He paused for a moment, his lips still just inches from your neck. The countdown echoed around them, the voices of the crowd building in anticipation for the new year. But his eyes remained on yours, his gaze now filled with a mixture of hunger and determination. "Happy New Year, mystery ladyâŚ" he whispered, his breath warm against your skin. "This is going to be a year to rememberâŚâ
He pulled away slightly, his fingers still on your neck, as the sounds of fireworks exploded around you two, signaling the start of the new year. The colors danced in the sky, painting the night of light and sparks. "And it's going to start nowâŚ" he murmured, his voice low and husky. With that, he leaned in, his lips just barely brushing against yours, a gentle, tentative touch.
The touch of his lips on yours sent a jolt of electricity through your body, a wave of heat and desire unlike anything youâd ever experienced. You tried to stay composed, tried to play it cool, but his touch was melting your resistance, your entire being drawn to him like a magnet. You returned the kiss, your lips soft yet hungry, your body leaning into his, wanting more.
He responded instantly, grabbing your hips and pulling you closer, so close they were almost one. His kiss deepened, his tongue exploring your mouth with a fierce, passionate hunger. He backed you up against the wall, his body pressed taut against yours, trapping you between him and the wall.
The intensity of his kiss was almost overwhelming, the heat and hunger in his touch igniting a fire inside you. You struggled to catch your breath, your heart pounding so hard you could hear its beat in your ears. But your body responded on its own, your hands moving to his shoulders, your fingers digging into his flesh as you pulled him even closer, your legs growing weak beneath him.
He groaned as you pulled him closer, his grip on your hips tightening. He continued to kiss you, his lips moving down your neck, his tongue leaving a trail of fire on your skin. "You taste divineâŚ" he murmured, his voice thick with arousal. "I've never wanted anyone the way I want you, mystery ladyâŚit's driving me insaneâŚâ
His hands roamed over your backside, squeezing it gently as he grinded on you, a low moan escaping his lips as your hands roamed over his chest and abs. You then pulled him closer, your legs wrapping around his waist as you leaned against the wall behind you.
Just as things were about to escalate further, you hear the sound of footsteps approaching. Panic sets in as you realize you arenât not alone. The interruption drew a frustrated groan from Jimin, his lips leaving her neck with a reluctant, almost possessive sigh. He pulled slightly away from you, his body still lingering close, as if unable to fully disconnect. "DamnitâŚ" he murmured, his voice filled with annoyance. "I have to go greet guestsâŚ"
You tried to steady your breathing, your heart still beating wildly in your chest. His touch had left your head a little dizzy, your body humming with unsatisfied desire, the lingering heat and tension making it difficult to focus on anything else. You took a step back, giving him a bit of space, trying to compose yourself. "You better go, then," you said, your voice a little shaky. "Can't keep your adoring guest waitingâŚ"
He grumbled a little under his breath, his annoyance clear. But his eyes were still on you, the intensity in his gaze making it clear that he wasnât happy to leave you, not even for a moment. "Iâll be back as soon as I canâŚ" he promised, his voice still low and rough. "And when I doâŚI intend to pick up right where we left offâŚ" With that, he gave you one last, lingering look, as if memorizing your every feature, before reluctantly pulling away and heading towards the main area of the party.
You watched him go, your body still thrumming with the memory of his touch. You took a deep breath, trying to ground yourself, to bring your heart rate back to a normal level. But it was difficult, your mind still whirling with the events of the last few moments, the memory of his lips on yours, the feel of his hands on your hipsâŚ
You shook your head, trying to clear your thoughts. This night was turning out to be much more complicated than you had anticipated...