Washed up Eventer, Wanna be Photographer

I love when I’m in the middle of speaking and suddenly I’m like wait I literally don’t agree with what I’m saying

normalize suddenly saying "wait hang on I might have just talked myself out of this" mid rant

Sometimes little pleasures in life are loadbearing. Whenever someone is like "If you'd just give up tea and coffee and sugar and--" im like I'll stop you right there. Because if you finish that sentence i am going to kill everyone in this building and then myself. If i have to face the horrors of the world without my little jar of caramel flavoured instant coffee i am going to go full American Psycho. Believe it or not, my main priority in life is not to have perfect teeth or be an Olympic athlete or look like a supermodel, but to actually enjoy living, because I spent far too long not doing that and it royally sucked. And boy, some people don't like hearing that. Particularly dentists

I say shit like "If my memory serves me" knowing damn well it serves the dark lord

"oh you still use tumblr? can I see?" no. that's where I keep my demons