no lie, this is me

Me: "I'm just going to get Jake from Josh's house".

I check the phone for directions.

My daughter: "Do you know where he lives?"

Me: "I do now, it's easy, down the Ricky Road, right at the lights towards the station, left at the mini roundabout, right, then left and it's there on the left, easy."

My daughter: "That sounds complicated to me".

It might sound complicated but humans have been capable of greater feats than learning the directions of a 10 mins drive.

I've not been using my phone as sat nav for some weeks now, I even drove from Watford to Hay On Wye for Russell and Laura Brands Community Festival via written directions.

Long, elegant, limbs. Graceful hands. Smooth, flowing yet powerful movement. I made space, closed my eyes and embraced the desire to experience this way of moving.

I began to dance to an internal rhythm that was coming from deep within. No music just a surge or energy that started in my chest, then formed a vision of myself in my mind, that was familiar yet different.

The vision and feeling had started a few days prior. I thought it would pass but I was unable to ignore it. It was almost uncontainable. Turning and gliding, spiralling and soaring as if being set free - the urge to know this feeling through this style of movement was like a rebirth. I'd broken free from what felt like armour made of stone. In a vision it exploded off of my body releasing a silhouette that rose like a super hero.

I danced, breathed deeply, filling the space with my body. It was as though I was gathering some form of energy, air, strength - I danced this way for what felt like 10 - 15mins but what was actually more like 40mins.

Feeling alive and elated I couldn't believe how much was I sweating, how much I was smiling, it was wonderful.

It's been a couple of weeks now and everyday this understanding of this new found energy is bringing me to a closer understanding of my place in this world. How I'm connected to it - like the wind as I moved, I felt the power of the elements. Water, fire, earth, I feel a desire to be like each one. To be like water - not resisting, moving effortlessly. Now when I swim, my focus is on moving like water, not against it, not through it, but like it. Like a stream, then a river then the ocean. Fire, the radiating heat inspires me to sway and stretch and move slowly like tongues of flames.

A few days ago as I stepped outside the studio to clear my mind and to take a breath, walking down the tree lined path, I looked up at the leaves and felt that I saw them differently, I felt a connection to them so much so that I gently placed my hands on the trunk, pausing for a moment at each one as I walked back to the studio.

As a person who has grown up in one of the biggest cities in the world - London, knowing this feeling in me makes me realise that this is in all of us, deep within us - it's our nature.

As a believer in God, I feel in my heart that God didn't do this to me, this is God, this is experiencing this force and energy, harnessing it and being at one with it, with grace, awareness, love and gratitude.

Feminine Energy, a new present.

xx

You may also like this:

Mo Gadat on feminine energy

Be like water, Bruce Lee.

Ironically, the topic was imitation.

.... what would you be doing?

I often ask people this because I truly believe that if we didn't have to make money, we would be creating. We'd be making, designing, cooking, discovering, and experiencing life in the most creative way that is natural to us.

The challenge is that we have built a world around the pursuit of money rather than the pursuit of our innate being; to be at one with nature and our surroundings.

Why do we love to lie back on the grass and look at the sky, or feel the sun on our skin or walk in the rain? When we seek moments of relaxation, peace and rest, it's because we want to connect with nature.

In this act of being, we'd be challenging things around us, we'd question and wonder. The time allowed to experience this is all being slowly taken away and less and less time is being devoted to the act of wondering because we are wondering how to pay our bills and afford to buy food or stay healthy.

Don't get me wrong, these are valid things to be wondering about however they shouldn't consume us, there is enough food in the world, nature has provided us with endless remedies for all our ills and as for bills, if not for greed, we could all afford them.

What am I saying? Embrace creativity and the act of wonder and curiosity as if your life depended on it, because in a way your life does. It's this act of living and thinking this way that fuels the spirit, a stirring energy deep within - it's our human nature.

If we pay for something it gets better.

A quote I heard from @Jaronlanier;

“We cannot have a society in which, if two people wish to communicate, the only way that can happen is if it’s financed by a third person who wishes to manipulate them.”

It's true. I've thought this for years. It started when Primark boomed. I thought, this is not sustainable. It's the same with social media, we can't keep fuelling a system that is based on cheap/free and mannipulation.

Most of you will now that I was born in Ghana and come from very humble beginnings. As much as I have more than others, enough, I am abundant (look at the meaning) I would still say that I live a modest life with not a lot of disposable income, yet I recently have decided to pay for better.

I paid for a podcast platform because I wanted to hear what I believe to be quality information.

I pay and subscribe to news platforms and social platforms for the same reason - quality.

I paid for my data to be removed from data farms.

I pay more for my food from local shops because I believe that this is better in the long run and instead of earning money back, I spend less.

And now I am about to form a community outside of the major platforms that is free from algorithms and ads. Stay with me and watch this space.

If there was ever a reason to step away from instagram - it's now. "Get a government ID with a blue tick" whoo hoo! - What?!

Tell me, why would I need a Government ID on my instagram account? Who does that serve, because I know I don't need the government to ID my instagram account.

This has to stop. My fellow people, for a moment I'm asking you to stop, pause and ask the question 'why' about everything - everything that comes from the top, from corporations especially when you are being shown something that is mean't to make your life easier, better or safer - especially when they say safer.

No corporation or large scale organisation has ever implemented anything to soley benefit the people, they simply present it that way to sell it to you.

To me there is nothing more important than doing whatever I can to bring people together, present my ideas and opinions that I think will benefit us all, share information that will help us make better decisions on how we live our lives and above all, come together.

Please stay connected, share and come together.

studio time.

February 2023 was the 20 year anniversary of me embarking on the quest to buck the trend of how to make it in the art, fashion and creative industry.

Where it all began, deep in thought, wondering what next. Amma Gyan aged 3 or 4.

Learning how to mould leather.

My first Pop Up shop in Beautiful Interiors by Penny Fielding in Walthamstow 2010.

Never one to go with the grain, I realised that some of the decisions I had made meant that I was going to have to take a different route to living the life of an artist.

I was up against it -'it' being the hand that generally you needed to be dealt to make it in this industry back then. I was an African migrant, working class, black and a women in the UK.

Being an artist is in my blood, it's been in my being from as young as I can remember, but having being swayed by my mum with good intention, I was going to have to wing it a bit - only a bit. The bit that came from the supposed, credible endorsement of the reputable establishments... you know what I mean.

So I learned on the go, took a short course at London College of Fashion to learn how to patten cut women's wear (did it for the credibility! lol) and hustled the rest of the way.

Let's fast forward a good few years, relationships, marriage, end of marriage, children to now.

Not too much has changed, I still live the life of an artist, my 20 years of commitment to the creative way of being is all I the endorsement I require, as I have been endorsed by life and simply being an artist.

New work.

Amma Gyan

'Unknown Territory', 2023

Wool and Mixed Media

167 x 37cm

£3000 - SOLD

So I'm a little late to the party but on playing catch up on Strictly I was watching week 7 with the huge Bollywood professional performances and I'm like "this is interesting, what a platform for this section of society". Hmmm I don't recall such a prominent stage for the African Caribbean community.

We've had to carve it out ourselves on the streets, slowly make waves in a way that people cannot ignore - however much they may want to. You see it's part of the rise of Africa which was stemmed for hundreds of years but the dam has been broken...

So, when on the following week's show, Hamza used his divine presence to glorify his African heritage and largely make African dance his couples choice, I was shouting YES! YES HAMZA. Not only is he mesmerising I was so emotional because of my feelings about the week before.

Hamza didn't just add a little African dance his whole routine, costume was Africa! and I was so proud. This is all coming at a time where I am very aware of my ethic origin and background and the role it played in my past relationship.

I was proud and emotional.

x

...it's hard to believe it is.

Who am I?

Now that I'm not fighting to have my children's voice heard in court, now that I'm not defending my worth in my marriage, now that I'm not trying to launch my art business and now that I am single.

Being single is not who I am - I think it's so easy to think that that's the part after separating from a long term relationship and getting a divorce that defines you. It's not. It's just the by product.

All the thoughts above, ring through my mind throughout the days that follow our agreement. Over a coffee, a piece of cake and a moment to watch people, families, go by, I ask myself the same question and this time I feel uplifted, inspired and liberated.

(This is not me just an image I found...)

My mind has been so preoccupied and weighed down by the thoughts and anxiety associated with getting a divorce that it left little room for more. The 'more' that you need to create freely, to love yourself fully, to wonder again. But now there is more, so much more.

For a long time I've felt as though I've been in the starting blocks of a race. The gun goes off, we're off but then a second gun goes off to signal a false start. I feel as though I've been in this phase for months, years. I've know in my heart that as though as soon as all these battles were over the gun would go again and I would be free to run my race. It finally has and I feel it - I feel it in my heart and chest, in my stomach and I'm excited.

There's no looking back or looking over my shoulder. I've heard so many people speak in this way before but when you find yourself saying it, you know where the feeling is coming from, you understand the sentiment in such a profound way.

There's a feeling of joy and fear at the same time - the joy in the potential and excitement of each and every moment to come and fear because you are running into the unknown and it's so easy to want to hold onto the familiar past.

But I'm out of the blocks now and running my race, the abundant potential of all there is, is there for the taking and I'm going after it for no more than the joy of taking on the challenge.

Who am I? I am love, I am potential, I am inspiration, 'I am' is what I am, not who I am and I'm grateful.

xx

When I first thought about this post, I'd decided to share how saying 'no' was one of the best decisions I ever made. It was a simple decision - I decided to say no to working in a certain way - it was no longer served me and it was having a very negative effect on my self esteem.

What I did by saying no was to create space, I created space to say yes to the right things. In some respects it's not news - you must have heard the saying "as one door closes another one opens". Well saying no, is you closing the door, as appose to having the door closed on you and then allowing doors to be opened for you - nice right.

So that was going to be the sum of my post until I considered a more recent time when I said 'no' and closed the door on something quite serious.

Today is International Women's day...

...so I thought I would share another decision I made in the hope of inspiring others to believe in themselves and have faith. For me, it's having faith in God but having faith in more than what you can see, I believe is essential in life.

So about a year and half ago I left my husband. We had been together for 16 years, married for 7, had two children and had become quite unhappy.

I left the family home, packed my tiny Fiesta (R.I.P) and the children and we moved into a new house that we rented with the hope of calmer happier times. For me divorce and separation has been everything that you hear about, the stress, the battles - it can be ugly and feel like it's never going to end. But what did end was the decision to accept the unacceptable - I said no - no more.

Self worth, value and love can get quite blurred in relationships at times and it can be hard to see clearly, however for me, the thing that helped, was making space (once more) closing one door to open another.

So many doors have opened since making that decision - more than I could have imagined. I'm beginning to see so much clearer now and that's a good thing.

I'm going to end on one other note though. Going through this huge change in my life makes me think of what it has taken to make this move. I had assets, friends and family who were able to assist me financially, a business and a close network of friends. It has been a team effort and one that I could not have done on my own, so as much as I say "say no" my heart goes out today to all those women who as much as they want to, can't. You are loved stay in faith.

to paraphrase Lola from Charlie and Lola.

Anyone that knows me, knows that I love colour - You've seen my previous post on colour and texture. Well for today's March Meet the Maker post it's all about one of the most joyous colours to me, Yellow.

I love it. It goes with everything (trust me), it's warm and when good things like lemon tart and your good friend in her sunny yellow hat, what's not to love.

I always seem to find a way to bring yellow into things, from my brand to my designs, to food and decor.

Art from left to right:

Portrait of me by Kim Noce, Art Nouveau 'Lillys' by Carrie Ward-Mills, Me and my Mum.

First Outing.

And the Winner is...

Me! I'm so chuffed.

Me with the Elected Mayor Peter Taylor, Councillor Aga Dychton and Chairman or Watford Borough Council Bilqees Mauthoor.

The Audentior Awards is in it's 17th year and celebrates the achievements of local people that are dedicated to working towards making the town a better place to live and work.

I was so excited and grateful to have won the Chairmans Cultural award for 'Amanartis' - the artist studio and gallery I set up to support artists with studio space and a place to build creative connections in Watford.

I'm working on a new range of jewellery that got it's first outing at the awards. I'd had the idea for a while but in my sometimes typical fashion I had chosen an hour before the event to bring them to life (my mum was not impressed lol).