Make me happy

my dearest: this is just categorically untrue and very negative in a relationship of any kind. you, as a person, should have your own life outside of your partner/friend group. when you have class, when you have work, when you have to take time for yourself: do you love them less? of course not. this is absurd. we are people stuck in a world where we don’t always control our own time. we have to make money and call our parents and clean the house and go to practice. we have lives. if your partner ever tells you to drop everything and come to them (outside of an emergency/important situation): they are being the unfair one. yes. we make time for what we want. but we don’t want only one thing - and we shouldn’t. if your partner says that they are the only priority in your life, they are not acknowledging you as a person. if they take from you your right to sleep, to personal time, to being a human and having a moment to breathe: they are not treating you how you should be treated.

Your first love gets you raw and open and naive and strong. Your first love gets the secrets that you never even knew you were meant to keep buried away. Your first love teaches you that love isn’t about reckless kissing and hands all over the place, that it’s actually about learning and understanding and compromise and feeling so happy you might explode. Your first love takes you to the mountain tops and the stars there are more spectacular than any you’ve ever seen. Your first love sits with you until your head finds a home in the crevice between their neck and shoulder and you want to stay, more than anything, you want to stay. Your first love laughs at your jokes and suddenly you are the world’s greatest comedian, it doesn’t matter that no one ever found you funny before, it doesn’t matter than tomorrow you still have to face the world. Your first love is like a safe, where you hide the treasures most precious to you because you think they’ll be around forever. Your first love teaches you loneliness, teaches you about endings and goodbyes and emptiness. Your first love makes breaking an arm sound like a walk in the park. Your first love promises that they won’t forget and you believe them until you see them kissing someone else on the street that you used to meet. Your first love makes you bitter. And your second love makes that bitterness go away.