I’m Just A Guy With A BoomerAang

I need a polite and effective way to say "hey your heart is truly in the right place and your anger is often righteous but I think sometimes you’re getting recreationally mad about things that are frankly not worth the amount of energy you’re spending on them, and every time you do this you're driving yourself slightly more insane with nothing to show for it," and then I need a way to broadcast that message through a loudspeaker to roughly 30,000 people at once, and THEN I need a time machine to send that message to my past self lol. and maybe a second time machine in case past me tries to be clever and sabotage the version of me who comes through the first time machine

My coworker told me today: “I’m really good at body parts. Wanna try my casserole?”, so that’s a fun new thing to add to this list

I received a text from my coworker a few days ago, with no context whatsoever that said: “I’ve repaired the poop and built a new one. I also repaired the butt”. This made complete sense to me.

“We need wayyy more depression. I’m gonna need you to tone up the depression. The hope was nice at one point, but now it feels out of place. No hope, just depression.” (This was said very seriously, by the boss, about how to go about the work)

whenever people talk about being "too old" to do anything i think about the access to higher education course i did before university- where i was by far the youngest person in my class, because 90% of my classmates were mothers who were going back to school now that their kids had grown up and moved out. if youve ever wondered "why would anyone wait until their 50s to start a new life path?" there could be a lot of reasons but a common one is "because they had kids straight out of highschool and didnt have time to think about it until now." and i think that should be normal even if you dont plan on having kids. fuck it. life is an ever changing river. grab a paddle yo.

fuck hussle culture, the toad to success is to sleep well, eat well and have fun

i meant road. road to success

"You are not part of the itinerary Jonathan"

My coworker told me today: “I’m really good at body parts. Wanna try my casserole?”, so that’s a fun new thing to add to this list

I received a text from my coworker a few days ago, with no context whatsoever that said: “I’ve repaired the poop and built a new one. I also repaired the butt”. This made complete sense to me.

“We need wayyy more depression. I’m gonna need you to tone up the depression. The hope was nice at one point, but now it feels out of place. No hope, just depression.” (This was said very seriously, by the boss, about how to go about the work)

idk what neurodivergent young adult needs to hear this but you are NOT supposed to give 100% at your job. I've gotten more promotions and raises since I started giving 40-60%, which my evil CEO uncle informed me is what bosses actually expect when they say 110%. My mental health has improved tremendously. I've spent 2 out of 5 workdays secretly writing my novel for the last 2 years and I've never been more respected and appreciated. Also--when you see glaring wasteful errors in the company's operating systems, say absolutely nothing! Embrace inefficiency. It is your friend in this capitalist hellscape.

my phone isn’t charging even though i plugged her innnnn dramatic ass bitch. YOUR PUSSY IS FILLED! WHAT MORE COULD YOU WANT

i see now that i shouldn’t have made this post on tumblr. specifically.

[Image is of a New Hope Church sign that reads, ‘God says homosexuality is in’ and two men in the foreground holding the S from the sign]

@hellsite-hall-of-fame

how does this have under 10,000 notes in spite of my having seen it regularly for the entire time I’ve been on here?

The first leg hair I saw on a woman was my own hair on my own legs. My mum is very naturally hairless and I knew like one woman who didn’t shave her armpits. When people talk about just preferring being shaved and doing it for themselves I do wonder like, how many women with body hair have you ever actually seen? In real life or not? Because I feel like there are places you could go nearly your whole life only seeing your own, and then hardly ever even seeing your own because you’re always shaving it! And it’s just like well yeah of course having no body hair just feels right to you. You have no frame of reference for hairy women outside of like jokes and insults.

Then I guess we'll just have to Blaze it the old fashioned way, eh?

Boosting signal. AGAIN.