🙁 @waste-0f-spacee - Tumblr Blog

thinking about how amazing i’d look rn if i didn’t stop working out in october

#what is my PROBLEM #i was legit starting to see ABS like i was getting definition in my stomach and then i stopped #and now i’m loose again #and by the time i get to where i was it’ll be the end of summer lol #love that i’ve been worrying about my fucking body for as long as i’ve had consciousness #and i’ll never be consistent

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it’s like my soul is being ripped apart

i’m so ugly they should lock me up in a room where i can’t hurt anyone’s eyes anymore

the only emotions i seem to be able to feel lately are anxiety, depression and guilt

#i’m rotting

i’m such a piece of shit lol

#but for real tho

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i’m back to being a fat fucking ogre

#i’m not eating next week

my ED is starting to get bad and i should be worried buuuuut

#🤷🏻‍♀️#i look good

GET OUT GET OUT GET OUT

i keep asking god to send me an angel but i get sent demons instead

#you fucked me up so bad #after i told you how badly i’ve been fucked over before #i haven’t spoken to you in 5 months and i still can’t get over it #you are just the worst kind of person #and a complete creep #and a major loser #and i can’t even tell you any of this #why did you fuck with me like that #i’ll never get it #i ignored all your bright red flags bc i was so so desperate for a friend #i’m literally put off from ever trying to make another friend again #i think i’m meant to be friendless #i sure as SHIT will never attempt to be friends with another straight man again in my life #they’re all demons except my bf #and i don’t even deserve him

i FUCKING hate you

#you’re such an asshole #and a predator

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biggest jumpscare of my entire life is seeing my 28 year old brother who has been straight edge the entirety of his life, drinking alcohol

#i hate this #i hate it i hate it i hate it #i know i sound crazy but if you knew me you’d know

.

#i wish c*tting myself wasn’t the only way for me to feel genuine relief #578 days gone

i need a change

life is so strange right now

#some good #some bad #but strange #idk how i feel about anything

if you told me 10 years ago that one day i would be trying to gain weight instead of losing it i would’ve laughed at you but here we are

#i have no appetite and i’ve dropped so much weight #part of me is happy but the other part of me looks in the mirror and sees a sick person #i just don’t look healthy

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evolution-of-consciousness

i’m always too late.

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